Talking to your pet...
 

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[Closed] Talking to your pet.

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If you were given a chance to say one thing to your pet dog or cat etc that it would fully understand what would it be?


 
Posted : 31/12/2017 5:33 pm
 dyls
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tatas = lets go for a walk.


 
Posted : 31/12/2017 5:34 pm
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Bok! Bok. Bok bok bok. Bok bok bokok. Bokok. Bok!

We have chickens.


 
Posted : 31/12/2017 5:37 pm
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Wee Wee lad

Go outside and toilet


 
Posted : 31/12/2017 5:41 pm
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[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 31/12/2017 5:42 pm
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Eating shit is not your best habit.


 
Posted : 31/12/2017 6:00 pm
 Alex
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Don't eat your bed. Actually scratch that Don't eat the pack leaders android tablet because if it ever happens again she will beat you to death with the remains /lab


 
Posted : 31/12/2017 6:02 pm
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Parents dog: Why, despite your size (Jack Russell), do you feel the need to growl and snarl at all other dogs?


 
Posted : 31/12/2017 6:03 pm
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If I'm doing something you don't like, or you're not sure of, always trust me. I promise I will always have your best interests at heart (recently rescued bull lurcher).


 
Posted : 31/12/2017 6:13 pm
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"Look we're getting you castrated because one of your testicles is twice the size of the other and it's not healthy. Its for your own good so stop looking at us like that."


 
Posted : 31/12/2017 6:22 pm
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(Nieces dog )
I know you are just a six month old puppy and for some reason are really wildly excited everytime you see me ..but do you really have to piss on me as well..!?


 
Posted : 31/12/2017 6:24 pm
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My cat already understands everything I say to her 😉


 
Posted : 31/12/2017 6:26 pm
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We’ve got loads of tennis balls , can you stop picking up sticks .


 
Posted : 31/12/2017 6:28 pm
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My dog knows at least 20 words (all I have to say is "bath?" and he runs away down the stairs at full speed) but apparently not "stop eating my pillows" so that


 
Posted : 31/12/2017 6:30 pm
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Fireworks are absolutely nothing to be afraid of.


 
Posted : 31/12/2017 6:48 pm
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Yeah, I know it smells good, but CHOCOLATE WILL KILL YOU!


 
Posted : 31/12/2017 6:50 pm
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Yeah, I know it smells good, but CHOCOLATE WILL KILL YOU!

22 advent calendar chocolates though had no effect on mine...


 
Posted : 31/12/2017 6:56 pm
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Rabbits

Biscuit


 
Posted : 31/12/2017 7:00 pm
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22 advent calendar chocolates though had no effect on mine...
as a true stw response - "that's not chocolate" 😀
(and it really does make a difference)


 
Posted : 31/12/2017 7:01 pm
 myti
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I love you and you're my best friend. No other dog will replace you when you're gone.


 
Posted : 31/12/2017 7:05 pm
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"Now that I know you understand me ... Stay off the kitchen surfaces and dining table you feline monsters. Anything else is fair game but if I find you up there again I'm going to be forced to casserole you"

I wouldn't really casserole them but I don't want them to know that.


 
Posted : 31/12/2017 7:27 pm
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I love you and you're my best friend. No other dog will replace you when you're gone.

The only important thing to say.


 
Posted : 31/12/2017 7:35 pm
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If you hurt, let me know and point to it.

+1 to myti too.


 
Posted : 31/12/2017 7:38 pm
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You really have been the best friend ever. I will miss you so much.


 
Posted : 31/12/2017 7:58 pm
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Squirrel !!!!!!


 
Posted : 31/12/2017 8:01 pm
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"Can you please learn to use different barks for when you want a wee, a poo, your food, water, or just messing about?"


 
Posted : 31/12/2017 8:04 pm
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My jack russell can pretty much understand the spoken word and has different barks/noises depending on what's going on..

1. The postmans here
2. A strange car is here
3. There is a fox, stoat, squirrel about
4. Farmer Frank is about and I hate him
5. I want to be back in the house

Understands "watch out" "quick pee" "bed" "schmako" "your in the shit" however "sit" elicits a blank stare and "come here" is ignored. My missus think he is dumb as a post , I on the other hand am not sure


 
Posted : 31/12/2017 8:30 pm
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Look I’m sorry, but the cat hates you


 
Posted : 31/12/2017 8:34 pm
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I think our Bella has already learned that if she doesn't pick up new commands as quickly as she could, it results in more treats.

Tell me that's not a smart dog.


 
Posted : 31/12/2017 8:34 pm
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Ours understands ‘pub’, ‘walk’, ‘tramadol’ (although it’s the sausage we put it in he really wants!) and ‘going to work’ as a prompt to go up to our bed. He also knows ‘contact front’ means to stop and wait to be put on his lead.


 
Posted : 31/12/2017 8:43 pm
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"stop that"

I have bengals.


 
Posted : 31/12/2017 10:30 pm
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[url= http://theoatmeal.com/comics/dog_paradox ]this[/url]


 
Posted : 31/12/2017 10:39 pm
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PLEASE poop in the litter tray, not next too it.

The dogs are not playthings

(We have Ferrets)


 
Posted : 01/01/2018 9:34 am
 DezB
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Rabbit, pheasant - GOOD. Child's face - BAD.


 
Posted : 01/01/2018 9:39 am
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Go away and leave me in peace whilst I sit on the loo! I have not left the building and you do not need to check up on me!


 
Posted : 01/01/2018 11:31 am
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My cat already understands everything I say to her

And yet ignores everything you say. Must be heartbreaking 🙂


 
Posted : 01/01/2018 11:36 am
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You are my best friend and have been the best thing for keeping me in good mental health since we got you from the Dog's Trust just over a year ago.

Also, chill the **** out when people arrive or leave the house through the front door.


 
Posted : 01/01/2018 11:42 am
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Mine would be, don't worry about being hurt by other animals as I will protect you so you don't have to be scared and vicious when you see them.


 
Posted : 01/01/2018 12:58 pm
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No other dog will replace you when you're gone.

Probably that at the moment 🙁

Our 12 year old black lab beat cancer 2-3 years ago when he had a lump removed from his leg, it returned a few weeks ago in his mouth and has taken hold pretty aggressively. To make things worse he tried chasing a cat last week and damaged the ligaments in his back leg.

We've just had to make the decision to have him put down tomorrow 😥 The not being allowed up on the furniture rule was relaxed tonight 8)

[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 08/01/2018 12:02 am
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You should leave my house and go and live in the wild like your ancestors.

🙂


 
Posted : 08/01/2018 4:48 am
 myti
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Mark mines a black lab 8 years old. I'm dreading that day. Big hug from us! Lovely grey old boy bet he's had a great life.


 
Posted : 08/01/2018 8:06 am
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You're fed at SIX o'clock, not five o'clock or four o'clock. Constant miaowing from 4pm onwards won't hasten the arrival of food but it will hasten the arrival of a prolonged exile to the cold garden until such time as your human staff can be arsed to feed you.

While I'm on the subject, if you can see the bottom of your food bowl, it does not necessarily mean that it's empty and that human staff must be constantly pestered for more dry food.

Finally, you've ruined the carpet and are halfway towards ruining the sofa. I could still have you declawed, remember what happened to your balls.

You should try to be more like your brother, he's laid back and no bother unless he wants the television turned on if he fancies watching a Grand Prix. I've tried explaining to him that they're only shown once a fortnight for half of the year, but he still insists.


 
Posted : 08/01/2018 10:11 am
 xora
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22 advent calendar chocolates though had no effect on mine...

Kinnerton ones? No real chocolate in them 🙂


 
Posted : 08/01/2018 10:13 am
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Stop barking like a loon every time someone comes near the house

[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 08/01/2018 10:18 am
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You can climb around my jumper/shirt all you want if you stop biting my arm pits.

I have 2 rats who enjoyed climbing into my top until all of a sudden my armpits became a target. So have been banned from one of their favourite activities.


 
Posted : 08/01/2018 10:56 am
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Posted : 08/01/2018 2:04 pm
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Our dog actually understands a few things: "pee" is something we've worked to associate with peeing. "upstairs" she gets, and "treat" she knows pretty well.

Beyond that, I think something along the lines of "whenever we leave, don't worry, we'll be back for you very soon, you might as well enjoy yourself while we're gone"


 
Posted : 08/01/2018 3:02 pm
 core
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All cats: Piss off.


 
Posted : 08/01/2018 3:13 pm
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"Inca.... stop eating the chairs!"

Inca is a [s]woodworm[/s] working cocker.


 
Posted : 08/01/2018 6:05 pm
 Pyro
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I don't have any pets, I'd quite like my other half's parents cats to understand that I really, really don't like them, am allergic to them, and I'd be much happier if they'd just keep the **** away from me please. Likewise for their sodding dog (shitzu-border cross), the mental little annoyance that it is...


 
Posted : 08/01/2018 7:42 pm
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To my Vizsla/Pointer cross "please, please stop killing squirrels"


 
Posted : 08/01/2018 8:59 pm
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No, you can't have a beer, you know how you get when you've had a drink.

[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 08/01/2018 9:41 pm
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Mark mines a black lab 8 years old. I'm dreading that day. Big hug from us! Lovely grey old boy bet he's had a great life

Thanks, the worst bit was seeing the other half and daughters in tears earlier when the vet came round to do it 😥

He's had a good life though, he used to love it up the Quantocks & spent lots of time supervising a bit of trail building and maintenance 8)

[img] [/img]

[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 12:10 am
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Mark- hugs here from Willow my beautiful pooch. She's becoming an old lady now but managed a good run/ jog/ walk/ amble/ sniff around the Usk Reservoir yesterday.

'I love you and you're my best friend. No other dog will replace you when you're gone.'


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 12:24 am

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