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Whats yours?
I’m not really sure about mine, what do you think?
I’ve got a Skoda Octavia. About as stereotypical as you can get.
I've got a bicycle.
I'm a cock.
Octavia
Public sector
More bikes than skills
Grammar pedant
Cobblers.
Is this the right room for an argument?
Log burner
Too many bikes
Nearly 50
Bit of a cock
Not even a real panther
bearnecessities
Subscriber
I’m a cock.
Couldn't agree more.
T5
Logburner
Don't actually know anything useful or relevant
T4
Logburner
I know everything and more.
Middle-aged, middle-class whiny cocklobsters . all of us
I have to say Kryton,hand on heart,you are a one of 😉
Had a T5, and an Audi, and probably about to buy another..
Don't work in IT and do ride my bikes so I guess they cancel themselves out..
Where does that leave me
Single speed rigid fat bike, a CX bike with slick tyres, and a waist size bigger than wheel diameter.
Married Louise
Shops at On One
Drives an Audi
Orange 5
Owns an axe/log burner/coffee grindr
Shops at Waitrose
Reads the mail
Easily offended
I think when we did this last time I came out quite well... At the time I:
- had owned a Skoda Octavia but now owned a T5
- had an Orange Five, a singlespeed and a CX bike
- worked in IT
- had two log burners
- had a beard
I think the only thing letting me down at the time was that I couldn't give a flying **** about what you call your fancy coffee.
I now can't really give a flying **** about riding bikes much, still have an Orange, still have a T5, still work in IT with a beard but only have 1 log burner.
Pseudo STW me.
Skoda yeti
Gas burning stove
Comms manager
I've got a big VAG
"Work" in IT
Have N+1 bikes
Considered, opinionated, liberal, forward thinking..
Yeah, I don’t fit in.
I get that.
Hand-wringing leftie.
Driving god
<div>deadlydarcy
<div>
<div>Member</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="bbp-reply-content">bearnecessities
Subscriber
I’m a cock.Couldn’t agree more.
</div>
Yay, professional accreditation!
Edit: I hate this forum.
Married Louise
Shops at On One
Drives an Audi
Orange 5
Owns an axe/log burner/coffee grindr
Shops at Waitrose
Reads the mail
Easily offended
Oh dear, two out of eight, not doing as well as I thought. 😫
(I’ve got two On-One’s, and own a couple of axes. But no coffee grindr)
I’ve got a big VAG
Work in it.
Mumsnet
Me
No car, plenty of bikes all old and secondhand and unfasionable ( bar one) Healthcare worker. IT skills of a treestump so no STW points there at all but most importantly I am a middleaged middleclass shouty cocklobster so grab some STW points back
I have to say Kryton,hand on heart,you are a one of
Yup. I'm the only sane one... Etc.
Can we have a checklist / points structure to score against please. Dispite spending too much time on here I don't know the stereo types.
Wood burners✔️
German estate car✔️
Rigid SS✔️
Owns a gravel bike (for commuting)✔️
Owns a Cotic✔️
Owned a On One✔️
Likes a whisky✔️
However:
Not middle class❌
Shite with grammar❌
Not in IT❌
Never built a shed❌
German estate car makes you middle class surely?
Posh razors suffice for STW stereotype?
don't actually ride a mountain bike.
although...
Don't own a german car (clio)
don't work in IT
I believe the earth is flat. And I shout abuse at cyclists from the passenger seat of a transit van.
Haiku*
Once popular memes
Jim Davidson, Paul Daniels.
I thought you'd flounced.
*Haiku.
T6
Nearly 50
Too many bikes (now including an ebike)
2 log burners, big wood pile (but never used)
was in IT (but retired)
cant spell
but do ride a good bit.
Bought one of these today:
ZWILLING 10" Chef's knife with deep upturn at tip.
Bloody lovely chopping action in the hand. The concave taper at the hilt makes for a really comfortable and positive grip.
Can't wait to show it the Japanese water stones to refine the bevel, and give it a proper hone.
£86 well spent, I reckon, given that I do 90% of the household cooking.
(Obviously, it would be nice to say that I posted that satirically . . . but I didn't. I did buy one, and it's ****ing awesome.)
Middle class, middle aged, work in IT, rarely ride my bikes* though I do own lots of them, opinionated, like beer and whisky, had an awesome beard but shaved it off a few weeks ago
er, I think this is also an STW stereotype: separating from my kids' mum
Don't own a logburner (not even in the house I'm moving out of), don't have a VAG car, not into coffee
*I'm assuming that riding unicycles a lot doesn't prevent me scoring that one?
Drive a Skoda Octavia estate (1.4 TFSI for a bit of fun as I'm a driving God, diesel's too polluting and VRS is a bit unnecessary)
Owned several Santa Cruz and Specialized.
Now gone for a smaller British brand.
Like nice coffee.
Really like whisky.
Own a rescue dog.
Lib Dem supporter / Guardian reader.
Work in IT (kind of).
Not allowed a beard otherwise I'd be tempted.
No log burner but I do have a larder with motion sensing lights (oh yes!)
Rarely ride my bike...
"Octavia" - pfft, amateurs!
I've got an Octavia I bought off another STW'er from an ad on here.
Do you know nothing? To score extra points for being bought on here it has to be a Volvo.
I fit winter tyres. 😎
I’m nearly 50, have lots of bikes (including a Cotic) and ride them! I love decent coffee.
On the other hand.... no German car, no logburner, no IT skills.
Sometime back I had nearly a full score card on STW poster-boy possessions. My off-road bikes are now so old they probably qualify as niche.
Late 40's
Drive an Alfa 159 Sportwagon
Rides a Santa Cruz
Hardly riding currently
Spends too much time on the net
No attributable skill
God I am boring...... Which also fits here 🙂
German estate car makes you middle class surely?
Nah, just a bit of a cock.
I grew up on a council estate, I could only ever be faux middle class.
On-one
ITgeek
I think that's it for me
They’re both 26”...
RM.
Probably perceived as a bit of a twunt on here ( but I'm not when you meet me ).
Short tempered / snap decision maker ...due to being on the other side of the hill age wise ( 61 next month ) ...and not giving a flying ****..
Own a German manufactured car ..but British badged .
Have previously owned a Polo GTI, Passat Sport & a Touareg both diesel ..shoot me now !
Have two private pensions & BTL..paying out ..
Live in the sticks ..
Still have a Santa Cruz Nomad ( which my boy rides )..& my Whyte T130RS.
Ride twice a week .
Still working class .
Never had a beard
Never been on Facebook / Twitter / Instagram ..but have recently joined WhatsApp ..neccessary for some new work opportunity ..
Real Ale & Gin drinker ..
Love my family .
An Octavia
A Cotic
Public Sector
Single speed
Gravel bike
Too many bikes
Volvo with winter tyres
Log burners
Artisinal wood piles
Vacant Owl box
Fat bike gathering dust.
Previously or presently own or have taken part in:
Audi - various (other makes have been available)
Santacruz Nomad
Cotic Soul
Vacant Owl box x 2 (these now seem fashionable)
Log burner with artesian logs. Ash, Oak and Holly
Shadow beard
Corduroy trousers
I once cut a shed in half
Age - 60
Keep Bees
Am in possession of an On One helmet
Illy coffee via a stove top Mocha pot.
Wear my socks inside out as they last longer.
Never do that thing in the woods.
Swedish Axe (large)
What is IT, and can you connect it to a log burner ?
Whiskey, Rum and Bear brewed by Monks
Shouty, opinionated, mostly wrong but often on my bike.
I hope this helps.........
[i]Sandwich wrote:[/i]
My off-road bikes are now so old they probably qualify as niche.
Oh that's a good point - do I get extra retro-niche points for 26", 3x9, straight steerer, bar ends?
mid late forties
N+1 bikes.
IT 'job'
ahead of the curve on the gravel trend
ahead of the curve on the 1X trend
way ahead of the curve on going back to 2X trend
liberal outlook yet rages incoherently at those who hold differing views*
drives a hybrid, currently considering an Octavia
Wood burner
would win masterchef if ever entered
browsed the hebcotro website then though '**** that expense'
master of everything
paused premier membership in protest at the shite upgrade
*'cause they are wrong obvs
I just skim through the op and then don't read the thread before commenting.
Does that count?
3 Aeropress. (I know the importer).
Although to counteract that I actually do ride bikes a lot.
Previously or presently own or have taken part in:
Audi – various (other makes have been available)
Santacruz Nomad
Cotic Soul
Vacant Owl box x 2 (these now seem fashionable)
Log burner with artesian logs. Ash, Oak and Holly
Shadow beard
Corduroy trousers
I once cut a shed in half
Age – 60
Keep Bees
Am in possession of an On One helmet
Illy coffee via a stove top Mocha pot.
Wear my socks inside out as they last longer.
Never do that thing in the woods.
Swedish Axe (large)
What is IT, and can you connect it to a log burner ?
Whiskey, Rum and Bear brewed by Monks
Shouty, opinionated, mostly wrong but often on my bike.
I hope this helps………
dexa ,I think I love you.
Can we run away together?
xx
Is this some kind of subtle data mining exercise for some nefarious scheming?
Heading towards 50 - tick
Divorced - tick
Have a beard - tick
Own 4 bikes but barely ride them - tick
Have owned a steel bike - tick
Never listen to 6 music - untick
Don't read the Guardian- untick
Southerner - untick
Drive a Golf - untick
Open fire but no log burning stove - untick
Summary : borderline STW stereotype
Scrap the borderline. Just remembered I own a dolce gusto pod coffee device and not a stove pot.
Would take owning an Octavia, a more comprehensive knowledge of frame geometry, an encyclopaedic knowledge of Peak District natural trails and single speed fatbike ownership to ever restore STW stereotype.
Would an inability to admit one is a STW stereotype qualify as a STW stereotype much?
Over 50
Audi estate A6 diesel
Beard ( and bald)
Fat ti bike plus Yeti 29
Public Sector management type
Log burner ( owned it 23 years mind you)
Coffee - hand dripped filter process plus stainless steel stove top maker
Vegetarian - 30 years
Guardian reader
Real ale drinker -
Rugby Union follower
Northern by birth
"Would an inability to admit one is a STW stereotype qualify as a STW stereotype much?"
Totally the opposite it would appear...
Ooh...this is embarrassing..
Octavia
Beard
Axe/log burner
Coffee fanatic
Rigid SS
ON-one
Middle class
Rum drinker...
Gravel bike (tripster none the less..)
What do I win??!!
DrP
fasthaggis:
" dexa , I think I love you. Can we run away together? "
Yes, but only if we meet at Swinley........
Have a BMW but it only has two wheels
Multiple bikes; only some of which in working order
Doesn't even do IT any more as such - I've gone all Marketing/PR...
No beard - thank goodness
Closest I'll get to a log burner is setting fire to something in the garden
No coffee making facilities in the house
Hmm - maybe I don't fit in in here any more????
Rachel
Drive a Skoda Octavia estate (1.4 TFSI for a bit of fun as I’m a driving God, diesel’s too polluting and VRS is a bit unnecessary)
Drive an Octavia VRS Estate. Diesel. 😀 (and a Berlingo, for bike carrying ability :S )
Work in IT
Owned an Orange
More gnar skillz when I'm on the internet than on the bike.
Drive an Octavia VRS estate on Michelin cross climate +
Have bikes (Santa Cruz, Kinesis, Ti hardtail, steel singlespeed, Salsa Fargo) but don’t ride them
Mess around with noisy tools in woodland and make things out of wood
Drink Whisky
other than that I fail everywhere else, mainly no log burner or beard and hate coffee... No axe at home, have them at work where they’re used properly
Oh dear.
had 3 Octavia’s (inc a VRS estate). Currently a Roomster.
definitely bearded
public sector engineer (& manager)
50+
two B+ hardtails. both 2x
Cotic fanboy (Solaris & SolarisMAX, but also had a Soul, Soda & a Rocket....)
guardian reader (but its a bit too right wing for my liking)
scottish
was vegie (for 15 years)
dodgy musical taste (yup both kinds)
dont really ride my bikes enough but
bikepacker
aeropress and knock handgrinder
undisclosed mental issues....
Do you know nothing? To score extra points for being bought on here it has to be a Volvo
ooh, am I now a big hitter as i have now got one...?
How long as owning an Octavia been a STW stereotype? I thought that was Audi.
(He asked, owning an Octavia.)
How long as owning an Octavia been a STW stereotype?
check out the noob...
(ETA: probably pre-hack)
Essentially, Jeremy Clarkson on a bike.
46
N+1
X-Type
Woodburner
Advocate of winter tyres
Anti-depressant user
Wearer of many hats
(Is it possible to render the STW stereotype as a mathematical formula? Mine fell apart with 'woodburner'.)
41
own 12 bikes which all get ridden regularly.
live in the alps.
senior level job, not in IT.
not fat or obese
audi RS in white ( with winter and summer wheels/ tyres )
Like coffee.
no wood burner.
no beard.
like apple products.
well dressed.
my bikes fit me.
i don’t carry a camel bak full of useless crap ( just in case )
Can set up tubeless without a 4 page thread.
Can pump up a tyre without killing a prester valve.
I bully moderators because of an overinflated sense of self importance.
This place would be nothing without me, nothing!
VW Passat estate
IT
Beard
Like beer, gin, wine and whisky (well I did last night).
Don't ride my bikes as much as I should.
Remoaner.
Crikey, I don't think I qualify:
4WD pick up
Get my hands dirty sometimes at work
Gas fire
Don't like dogs
Don't like VW Group products
Never had a single speed or a fat bike
Only 2 bikes
63
Mind you, I am a bit of a grammar pedant, like a whisky and ride a motorbike.
This thread has made me laugh.
more cashthan dash & harry the spider got me early . With a bit of bikebuoy mixed in.