[Closed] STW parents: Child safeguarding in soft play

Saville dead? Or is he?

Makes you think. Do your own research .

Was a ghost 👻

or possibly the caretaker in a rubber mask.

I told a little shit to stop in a soft play today who was kicking and punching the crap out of one of those dangly things clearly been to a few marital arts classes and knew enough to be dangerous, blocking a run through and getting very close to smacking lots of kids as they tried to get past, including my 3 and 1 year old.

His parents were no where to be seen

I imagine if your boy was told off, he probably was doing something wrong, 'chasing' is probably a kids overimagination

Personally i'd leave it, and tell him he should speak to you immediately if he is ever upset by a stranger, and if you are genuinely worried stay within sight (and yes I know thats hard to do!)  Most soft plays have some sort of gating arrangement and unlikey for a solitary dodgy bloke to be able to get in unnoticed.  (Paultons park / Pepa pig world is an exception...)

* I don't have white hair.

Do you live near DT78?

So, assuming this place is like standard soft play places...

There is only one way in and out without setting off the fire alarms.

The way in and out is fully manned at all times.

Any kids leaving are closely scrutinised to check who they are with.

A lone adult going in would definitely be questioned.

There are kids almost everywhere

The place is heaving with tigermummy frappacino sipping muums.

They have CCTV

And you think someone has gone there with the intention of fiddling kids?

I'm sceptical

A small one near us has a deep sea diver in it. Not real of course, just a picture of one. But she won't go in it alone because of the deep sea diver.

Y'get me?

Do you live near DT78?

I do* - why ?

*(probably)

Sometimes when I'm in those places I chase my own kids, like hide behind stuff and try and grab them making RAAAWWRR noises. Sometimes if they're playing with other kids I'll pretend to grab them too but not actually touch them. Maybe it was just another father being overly boisterous.

I do* – why ?

See his post.

In all seriousness, I would report it to the venue. Bit like a near miss.

Probably nothing but if another "white haired man" get reported then then they have a record to look back at.

Hopefully nothing to worry about.

DT78. - keep your precious things out of a soft play if boisterous children reduce you to that sort of behaviour.

OP - I am sure it’s nothing more than over active imagination on behalf of your child.

More than likely another Father messing chasing his own kids about as mentioned above.

Children can sound incredibly convincing when recounting made up stuff though.

Yesterday at a supermarket our little boy said..

”last time we I came here, I could smell ginger ....at the back door of the shop, where the lorries deliver the food, I think the drivers were making biscuits”

He is 3, and we have never been to that shop before, we were on the way back from a day out.

John.  given you weren't there....this was more than boisterous, my boys can be a bit of a handful, hence why i try to stay within sight

would you like your little one to be roundhoused in the head by an older kid in a soft play

If you are happy for a three and one year old to play in a soft play then you have to accept there will be older children in there being, well, older children. And every soft play I have ever visited has a separate area for younger children - perhaps your young children would be better suited being in that part and away from the older children?

Sorry im with DT78 here.

Look after your kids. If another is being naughty your well within your rights to let them know that it might not be a nice thing to do. If they carry on then you move your kids out of the equation.

Simply allowing someone to kick another kid is unacceptable imo.

Had a full day of soft play yesterday with no issues 🙂 (well the kid did)

Andybrad - I haven't read anywhere about any children being kicked - where did you read that?

Anyway the OP

i would ask what they were doing. was it a friends dad, did they work there etc. I appreciate that kids can be effected by things like this from a simple incident. Im currently trying to convince my 3 year old that all roadies arnt "bad men" 🙁

John Doh

this bit

I told a little shit to stop in a soft play today who was kicking and punching the crap out of one of those dangly things clearly been to a few marital arts classes and knew enough to be dangerous, blocking a run through and getting very close to smacking lots of kidsI told a little shit to stop in a soft play today who was kicking and punching the crap out of one of those dangly things clearly been to a few marital arts classes and knew enough to be dangerous, blocking a run through and getting very close to smacking lots of kids

Johndoh - extrapolation from

I told a little shit to stop in a soft play today who was kicking and punching the crap out of one of those dangly things clearly been to a few marital arts classes and knew enough to be dangerous, blocking a run through and getting very close to smacking lots of kids as they tried to get past, including my 3 and 1 year old.

Ahh, so no children were kicked at all then? Just a child kicking something inanimate near children? I share your deep concern at your children being exposed to getting too close to someone kicking something else.

blocking a run through and getting very close to smacking lots of kids as they tried to get past

Kids unable to get past because of older kid being a bit of a dick. Seems pretty clear. Kids being kids is one thing, but given you (nor I) were there I don't really see anything overly precious from DT78, although I agree that a 1-year old (and probably a 3 year old) in a 'full size' soft play is probably asking for trouble.

Soft plays do seem to be absolute hell on earth, I've told other kids off before because their parents are ignoring them, so they just come and be a little shit in the immediate vicinity of my son, craving attention.

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Ahh, so no children were kicked at all then? Just a child kicking something inanimate near children? I share your deep concern at your children being exposed to getting too close to someone kicking something else.

You're defending someone saying "I'm just going to punch the air and if you happen to get in the way it's your fault".

You’re defending someone saying “I’m just going to punch the air and if you happen to get in the way it’s your fault”.

It's a soft play, a kid was messing around in soft play - it's what kids do. And a one year old is clearly too young to be able to work out that being in the way of that child may hurt them - personally I think the one year old shouldn't have been there and, as you say, probably the three year old too. Fair enough if the other kid was deliberately kicking children but they weren't, they were playing, albeit quite boisterously.

This one could run and [s]run[/s] fall over and graze a knee.

Biscuits anyone? I have pink wafers and party rings. Ribena and Capri-Son on the table. Wash your hands first if you've been in the soft play. Anyone brought any baby wipes?

Fair enough if the other kid was deliberately kicking children but they weren’t, they were playing, albeit quite boisterously.

Sorry, I didn't realise you were there.

Anyone brought any baby wipes?

we've got enough arsewipes in this thread already

Johndoh must be one of those free range parents who let's his kids run feral.

Sorry, I didn’t realise you were there.

I can only respond based on the information given, just as the rest of the world when communicating online.

Johndoh must be one of those free range parents who let’s his kids run feral.

Well I don't helicopter parent when they are in these sort of places if that's what you mean? It's a children's play area and children do children. If one of them came to me crying because they had been hit by a child accidentally then I would say 'tough - get on with it'. Naturally if a child hit them *deliberately* then that is a completely different story - but that's not the story here.

I think we shouldn't judge another persons parenting skills without being in their shoes.

Apart from Johndoh, hes clearly a terrible parent. 🙂

I sense I'm being trolled.......

I am not overly precious with the boys, for instance in yesterdays soft play 'fun' the 3 yr old got run over by a bigger kid because he was buggering about on the steps up to a slide (he got sympathy but also, don't bugger about on the stairs).  He also completely took out another kid who decided to push past me and run up a slide just as he was coming down.  Both kids consoled (again no other parent to be seen) but I told kid who ran up the slide they should use the steps if they wanted to get up and not risk getting taken out by kids coming down the slide.

The mini-karate kid I mentioned was blocking the steps to the slides doing his 'moves' (if you know the pepe pig softplay is the bit on the way in on the right next to the green slide).  I went past him 4 times until I told him to be mindful of his locations and others - and I did look about for his parents as I always speak to them first, but they were no where to be seen.  I have also taught marital arts and his instructor has not taught him the basics of self discipline before teaching how to kick and punch a bag.  A softplay is not a place to be kicking or punching.

If no-one discplines kids clearly out of control then they will never learn boundaries.

Ahh, so no children were kicked at all then? Just a child kicking something inanimate near children? I share your deep concern at your children being exposed to getting too close to someone kicking something else.

In other news, hunters shooting near popular walking and cycling trails did nothing wrong because they weren't actually shooting AT the cyclists.

If no-one discplines kids clearly out of control then they will never learn boundaries.

It is a soft play and the kid was messing with things in the soft play. I really do not understand your concern at someone else's child doing absolutely nothing to deliberately hurt other children. What would a parent be expected to do? Tell their child off for playing with things in a play area?

Educate as to why it might not be appropriate.

Just because you can doesnt mean you should etc.

 I told him to be mindful of his locations and others

You hit him, didn't you? You hit a child!

@pook

Where is said massive soft play place? I don't think live too far apart and most of the one's near me are pretty disappointing.

I physically dragged a kid off my daughter in a soft play area once. He'd pulled her to the ground by her hair and started hitting her.  All for no reason other than he was a vicious little git.

His 'parent' was arsing around on her phone drinking a latte and not even looking in the vague direction of the play area or paying attention to her 18 month old just wondering round either.

Gave her a bollocking for letting him do it - apparently he has 'issues' - I then politely suggested that if his issues were that bad he shouldn't be in there unsupervised.

Went and spoke to the manager and apparently he had previous (on several occasions) - they were politely asked to leave and never return....

The 'issues' appeared more to do with ****less parenting - she took the 18 month old out to the car first, came back in, finished her latte and buggered about on her phone for 5 minutes before taking the other kid outside. She left the 18 month old in the car on its own for nearly 10 minutes.

Anyway - back to the OP - I'd mention it to the play zone and see if they've had similar reports.

A soft play is not some sort of no holds barred UFC ring

Doing things that are inappropriate and likely to risk injuring others / yourself should be pulled up.  As I said I ignored him the first 3 times expecting him to get tired / bored / go punch something else - he didn't so got told to stop.  Everyone should be able to be able to have 'fun' in there without being put at unnecessary risk by some poorly trained / disciplined kid deciding its a dojo.

When I taught kids, they had to do plenty of basic drills and prove discipline before they were allowed near mits / pads / bags / each other.  When you knew they could respond to commands (like stop) they were allowed to spar.  They were also all taught not to practise moves outside of the training room / when no instructor was present.

The place is heaving with tigermummy frappacino sipping muums.

Back on topic . Are any of these mums fit ? Single bloke asking.. No white hair though

Are any of these mums fit ? Single bloke asking..

Just turn up at one of the soft play areas and walk around giving the ladies the eye. If one looks receptive, offer them a drink and ask which child is theirs.

^^^ But avoid any who's children are into martial arts or they'll have you if you upset their mummy.

When I taught kids, they had to do plenty of basic drills and prove discipline before they were allowed near mits / pads / bags / each other.

That sounds frustrating.  They probably* all went down the nearest soft play area for some real practice as a result 😉 😀

*perhaps

Ugh!   Fecal Matter Everywhere.

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 I told him to be mindful of his locations and others

You hit him, didn’t you? You hit a child!

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Genuine LOL

I always go in with my kids; 1. its a laugh for all of us, 2. I can make sure, as there is a 3/4yr age gap between them and the older one shouldnt be his keeper, that they are supervised, safe, and respectful to other users.  Stereotyping I know, but these auto-pilot parents, who pass the job of keep their off-spring safe and sound once they've entered the building, and without any consideration till theyve finished their skinny-salted caramel-latte, annoy me.

And you dont walk up a slide ffs.  Why do they let them do it.

And you dont walk up a slide ffs.  Why do they let them do it.

To learn 'em not to do it again when they get taken out by the fat kid hurtling down it at Mach 2.

Karate kid needs sending to bed without pudding.

Or maybe just avoided for 5mins until he got bored of that game ?

And you dont walk up a slide ffs. Why do they let them do it.

I can remember parents like you from when I was growing up.

You’ve spent twenty minutes going down the slide,  it’s boring. What to do next? Go up the slide. Possibly throw branches at a tree. Or chase a pigeon.

Were you never a child? 😂

^^^^ Exactly. Let kids be kids. The bounce (generally) and they soon learn what is and isn't a good idea. Of course I would step in if either of my girls ever overstep the mark or another child oversteps the mark with them but in the nine years of having them I think the most I have ever done is remind kids to wait in line and not push in.

I reckon it was Santa. He'll be grumpy at this time of year, holidays are coming to an end for him!!

Ah, so you were the little git who covered the slide in mud and dog egg, in the park!

mud and dog egg

Just think of the reduced friction!

I always used to assume that soft play places were full of the dregs of society, and follow my little darlings around so other children couldn't introduce them to drugs or molest them. Helicopter parenting at its finest.

As long as the white haired man didn't look like this, it should be OK.

You shouldn’t have spoken to the Karate Kid. Everyone knows you should’ve just swept the leg. I always dive on the soft play with my son, it’s brilliant. You get to act like an idiot, spend time with your kid, make sure that they’re okay and have fun. Only go when it’s quiet though. When it’s busy the local Fun For All is Fun For Nobody.

no mercy

Keep em indoors and out of the way. The last thing we want is 'trail kids' to take over from trail dogs.

Taken as a whole, this is the thread equivalent of a visit to soft play - begins well meaning, goes off the rails once the juice starts flowing, progresses to parents bitching about other parents and their clearly delinquent offspring, my kids an angel, has anyone got any wipes? when I was a kid we used to poke each other in the eye (just kids being kids etc), has anyone seen my kid? sorry they can't have been mine he/she would never do that, who had the wipes…? does anyone want any chips? no you can't have any money for the bob the builder ride it made you cry last time, well he would say that wouldn't he, who had the wipes last? is it time to go yet? what we've only been here 10 min? **** whose idea was this, never again

To answer the OP's question, as others have indicated, there are parents and cameras everywhere, and you can't get in without a child, so most likely it's something to do with a parent checking on their child than someone intentionally targeting yours. It would do no harm let the soft play know your concerns though, especially if it gives you peace of mind.

I'd ignore it.  Probably someones grandad wheezing around trying to keep up - there's really zero likelihood of it being anything sinister.  I love soft play, shame the have to let kids in to ruin the fun!

Quick update for you all:

I spoke to the soft play centre. They immediately raised it up to regional manager level and took full details as to what my little lad had said and what our concerns were. They then used the description to go through the CCTV from the moment we walked in the door to the moment we left AND they checked everyone who came in around the time to see if they could match the descriptions. Two men did, so they watched their interactions.

It sounds like one of them - a 'larger gentleman' according to them - was playing in an 'aggressive' manner with one of his kids, chasing and being very boisterous. They couldn't be 'definitive' they said, but they think my lad has got caught up in that and misinterpreted something, combined with being told off for moving a block.

Quite impressed with the response from the centre to be honest, but glad i checked it with them - as were they.

Thanks for your input folks.

Next time you see him, drown him in the ball pit.

quite a reassuring response that.

Quite impressed with the response from the centre to be honest

That's really, really good, yes.  Though I suppose a "can't be too careful" policy is wholly sensible.

Random aside - I used to work constructing soft play units in a past life, including helping build what was then the largest installation in Europe.

Doesn't sound like much has changed for you then, Cougar?

From building playgrounds, for whiny, argumentative, snotty nosed kids, to maintenance of them!!

Waheyy I was right. 😄 good outcome 👍

Can i suggest that you also discuss with your boy - so he knows that you followed his worries up, that the man was only playing but maybe he did take it too far, but that your son was right to say something and he should always tell you straightaway if someone is doing something to him or treating him in a way that makes him scared or uncomfortable.

Thanks Jon. Good shout.