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I'm sure there are a few of us on here who work, or have worked, in bike shops. Let's be hearing the JRA tales!
One of mine.
Customer rang the shop. "You almost killed me!"
"Oh, that sounds terrible. What happened and how can we help make it right?"
"I rode the bike out of the shop, and I'd got no more than a hundred yards away before the bars came loose,and it wouldn't steer properly." (Turns out the stem hadn't been properly tightened on the steerer)
"What? That's terrible, I'm so sorry. Can you walk the bike back to us and we'll fix it and sort something out to apologise still further. Mistakes happen, but this is one we'll have to own up to and fix. So, just pop back to the shop".
"I can't do that. I've ridden all the way home now. I'm in Shepherd's Bush."
Six miles or so. Through central London with an unsafe bike, rather than walking the hundred yards back.
It was the fault of a mechanic, and appropriate measures were made to stop a recurrence, but WOW!
In the context of this, what’s a JRA? (I used to work in a bike shop; I don’t work there anymore).
Lad comes into the shop says l was just riding this BMX that I got from you and the forks have bent . Ok we will have a word with the distributor and see what they say . 30 minutes later his mate came in and said have you seen the video on YouTube of Jamie crashing his BMX into a wall . end of claim .
"Just Riding Along"
Ok, thanks. That narrows the stories theme down a bit.
We had a Kona brought in that had obviously been ridden at speed into something very big and solid. Top and downtube both buckled. Guy claimed he was Just Riding Along when he hit a pothole so just for a laugh we stripped it down and sent it to Kona's warranty dept.
The letter that came back from them was one of those genius comedy-rude ones. Managed to be devastatingly rude while actually sounding reasonably professional. He didn't get s replacement frame.
A few genuine ones with 9S Shimano chains taking out the mech and back wheel. The stupid joining pins used to open up and the free side plate caught the rear derailleur wrapping it around the cassette and taking it into the back wheel. Cured by removing the chain and fitting it the opposite way to the Shimano instructions before the bike left the shop, if it failed it just fell in the road.
A couple took a roadie tandem out for a quick test. It came back at the end of the day with a cooked drum brake and cooked cracking spokes on the drum side and cooked grease in the bearing. The quick test had taken them over a col with a steep long descent and they'd clearly dragged the drag brake all the way down.
Customer: hi, I'm after some of these as spare parts (puts item on counter)
Bike shop: what are they?
Customer: arrow tips
Bike shop: err, no.
Not quite on the same theme, but I've had folk come in asking us to repair a watch. A clockwork watch, not any type of bike computer. And another wanted us to solder the handle back onto his teapot. We also had a cat lady looking for a buff for Tiddles, as a sort of body warmer. She was particularly keen on the ones with reflective stripes. We had a couple of conversations about it over a week or two as she was determined to show us photos of the cat.
Glad to be away from the high street now, used to work in one of the countries busiest shops selling over 100 bikes a week every week. Many tales of mothers insisting their darling son hadn't been smashing his rear mech into stuff for months before the hanger gave out, despite the obvious scratches, or hadn't been skidding, the tyre just wore out prematurely. Working for a big retailer it was easier just to fix for free a lot of the time otherwise they would go to customer services and they would end up wasting more of your time anyway.
Also steriod fuelled hardmen just deciding they didn't want the bike after 6 months, inventing faults and being aggressive till they got a refund. I once refused to sell a second bike to one like this when he came back a year or two later. His wife said 'I don't blame you' or words to that effect.
The more rewarding ones were like the bloke who came in kicking up a fuss about his brakes 'not fit for purpose' or the usual bullshit, only for me to spin the bars 360 , removing tension from the cable and making them work as intended.
Some also quite bizarre things like a brand new full suss, not a mark on it, apart from its snapped clean in half. A BMX with a thick layer of corrosion on every single metal part, steel and aluminium, even the valve caps installed after the bike left the shop, but otherwise it was like new.
You also had the ones who were either an engineer, or showed their mate who was. 'pedal fell off, thread can't have been machined right' you've got the right pedal in the left crank there mate.
Good times.
Working at Halfords, older man comes in with brake failure on his cheap & nasty Halfords special with cable disc brakes.
First issue: brakes were squeaking
Corrective action (by customer): lubricate brakes including pads & rotor with WD-40
In fairness it solved the squeaking...
We sold bikes so it counts....
We also sold windsurf kit and wetsuits. Lady rang up and put in an order for a custom wetsuit. The numbers on paper looked 'impressive'. The wetsuit came back and boys in the shop were in awe - can this even by physically possible? Lady booked to come and pick up the wetsuit and test it out. We literally fought each other to work the shift. One lad even came in to hang around even though he was not working. She got the chest and waist measurements the wrong way around. It was not the look we were hoping for.
Had a guy come into the shop with his bike, forks bent, down tube bent, head tube split away from top tube, front wheel touching rear wheel(!)
Wanted the frame replaced under warranty.
I asked him what he had hit, “a brick”
“Was the brick connected to several hundred others?”
Turns out he’d been going along the seafront at (according to three of his friends who’d already been in the shop to tell us) an absolute minimum of 30mph and hit a cast iron bench.
Apparently he barely slowed, but the bike stopped dead, if you get my drift.
Warranty claim refused.
“Ring ring”
“Hello”
‘Is that ****** cycle centre?’
Yes
‘You’ll need to change your phone number’
Oh, why is that?
‘I’ve just had someone dial my number (which was one digit different) but they were looking for you, it’s the second time it’s happened this year’
Yeah, ok then, we’ll change the number we’ve had for decades, no problem mate.*
* didn’t happen.
I’ve had folk come in asking us to repair a watch.
A bike shop once welded my crampons and got me out of a short term hole. Long live the bike shop 🙂
Back in the day me and my mate used to spend a lot of our day hanging around in the lbs.
I always remember the 2 young lads who came in claiming the cleats had torn out of their (Scott iirc) spd shoes.
Jim, LBS owner "Have you got the receipt?"
Lad "No"
Jim "How long have you had them?"
Lad "Few weeks"
Jim "Do you do jumps in them?"
"Nooo!"
"I think you do"
"Well er, sometimes"
"One last thing - why are they full of talc?"
"Er, they were a bit smelly"
They were absolutely rank!!
To be fair, I think Jim did try for a warranty replacement. No idea of the outcome.
We had a Kona brought in that had obviously been ridden at speed into something very big and solid. Top and downtube both buckled. Guy claimed he was Just Riding Along when he hit a pothole so just for a laugh we stripped it down and sent it to Kona’s warranty dept.
The letter that came back from them was one of those genius comedy-rude ones. Managed to be devastatingly rude while actually sounding reasonably professional. He didn’t get s replacement frame.
so you warrentied my mates kula deelux then.
kona sent back a very offensive letter regarding that.
the thing was he genuinely did just ride it across a rooty section in the middle of an SXC race at fort william when it folded up like a brompton
the sids, the wheels and all the other exceedingly light KCNC componants were undamaged and went on to live full and hard lives on the replacement frame