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Why in every TV show or film is there ALWAYS someone that is being sick? I don't want to watch someone throwing-up
If you've not noticed - trust me, it's there
When calling somebody it takes a millisecond to find the correct number, nobody has multiple attempts to unlock their phone or gets distracted by a random WhatsApp notification.
Asking the passenger to steer a car or HGV at high speed, even if they are a twelve year old who's never driven before, results in a swerve that is easily brought under control.
Everybody rents warehouse space substantially larger than required. This includes everybody from government agencies to criminals planning their heist.
Having read all through this thread I'm starting to wonder if maybe movies aren't real. I've this nagging feeling that well maybe they are just all made up.
Actors that speak in terrible accented English to indicate that they're Italian, Russian, French etc.
Stop it. Either speak normally or use subtitles.
Having read all through this thread I’m starting to wonder if maybe movies aren’t real.
Acting is just lying anyway.
People being chased by a dog, and outrunning it.
Always getting USB sticks in the correct orientation at first attempt.
Finding and downloading the necessary files on an unknown computer faster than I can even turn my computer on.
Totally mismatched cars having an exciting chase.
Always oversteer, never understeer, and the untrained driver being able to drift round every corner better than Ken Block.
the untrained driver being able to drift round every corner
better than Ken Blocknearly as well as a STW member.
Never answer the phone with "Hello *INSERT NAME* how are you? Long time no speak..." and other such niceties that make the world go round.
They also rarely answer with a goodbye or action - the call just ends on a statement...
Whenever you see someone carrying a suitcase it's obviously empty.
Totally mismatched cars having an exciting chase.
the nineteen speed gearboxes fitted to every car in every Fast and Furious movie
Never finishing their drinks before they leave the pub
Having walked into the pub, not had to queue, not had a discussion about who's round it is, who wants what etc but just strolled up to the bar and said "4 pints please" and the bartender gives them 4 pints of unspecified liquid.
In all the marvel films, the main characters are all super strong and basically invincible, yet they insist on fighting each other by punching and throwing each other around. Why doesn't Thanos just grab hold of Thor or whoever and just pull his bloody heady off.
That would be inappropriate
Baddies hiring an elite force of ex special forces mercenaries to guard their top secret fortress lair only to discover they couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo
Also on die hard 5 million the other night the elite band of ex special forces mercenaries tried to blow up the programmer with a planted c4 device rather than just shooting him, WHY? It'd hardly look like an accident. I suppose they were worried they'd miss (like they did when the bomb didn't go off). Gah!
In all the marvel films, the main characters are all super strong and basically invincible, yet they insist on fighting each other by punching and throwing each other around.
They have bloody spaceships with laser cannon, but they still run out into a field to stab each other with pointy things.
space-ships that meet in space have agreed beforehand which orientation is Up
space-ships that meet in space have agreed beforehand which orientation is Up
Kubrick got this right in 2001 (and explained the gravity) - flight attendant using velcro shoes, shuttle syncing rotation with the space station on arrival, gravity due to rotation of said station. So unusual in a film that it really stands out.
- Never catching a sleeve on a door handle.
- Never forgetting why they went into a room
- Shutting Dead peoples eyes has been mentioned - Apparently this cant be done (Mrs is a paramedic, im not a murderer)
- Shocking someone with no heartbeat.
- My wife would add anything vaguely medical to this list as none of it is very accurate.
- being able to just instantly send vast amounts of money between bank accounts to bad guys, whos bank lets them send over 100k without jumping through about a million hoops.
- My overall number one though is police going to catch the bad guy whos in hiding and putting the sirens on before they arrive.
They might aswell ring them and let them know they are on the way.
In all the marvel films, the main characters are all super strong and basically invincible, yet they insist on fighting each other by punching and throwing each other around.
Achually! They’re not.
Totally mismatched cars having an exciting chase
THIS!!
"I'm the goodie evading the cops..I drive a suped up Mustang with NOS and rocket boosters.
Oh poop, the police in a 1976 Fiat Panda are gaining on me..."
DrP
I like to play spot-the-impending-car-wreck-later-in-the-show, when watching BBC dramas. Barrister character driving an 18 year old Mondeo? That'll be rolled in a bit. Baddie in a new S-Class, he'll be fine.
I've never left my car unlocked or my car keys "hidden" under the sun visor.
I like watching the other vehicles in car chases, and the extras in public places.
I also like watching driving scenes and trying to spot if they are:
a) in a studio with a backdrop or CGI
b) on a real road but being driven with their car on a flatbed
c) driving on a studio or otherwise artificial or closed road
d) actually driving in the real world
I'm terrible for that. Also seeing if the same cars pop up regularly. Clive Russell's E46 is part of the Paris traffic in the first Bourne film...
...oh, and none of the cars in the Hitman's Bodyguard are actually registered, and the baddies' Cayenne has a plate that can't exist.
When they order a pizza, but when the pizza guy turns up they have no cash and have to awkwardly try and work out some alternative form of payment.
You'd have thought that when deciding on ordering the pizza they'd know they'd need some form of currency or maybe just pay for it online in the first place
crazy-legs
Full Member
Never finishing their drinks before they leave the pubHaving walked into the pub, not had to queue, not had a discussion about who’s round it is, who wants what etc but just strolled up to the bar and said “4 pints please” and the bartender gives them 4 pints of unspecified liquid.
Similar walk into a bar sit at bar and immediately asked what they want...no dank and distant "changin' the barrel" or too busy washing glasses to look your way...
Walk into a diner and a good chance that rather than a dog eared menu you get a whole new philosophy on life from underutilised overskilled kitchen staff
Also seeing if the same cars pop up regularly.
Isn't the re-occurring Volkswagen in Bullitt famous for this?
c) driving on a studio or otherwise artificial or closed road
There's a bit of forested road that seems to be used for the majority of car crashes in UK dramas. I've always assumed it was somewhere like Millbrook. Once you've seen it, you really can't not see it.
Yeah, Millbrook pops up a lot.
Bond rolls his Aston there for instance in Casino Royale, despite just having left Monaco.
Never finishing their drinks before they leave the pub
In Barfly (in which Mickey Rourke played the writer Charles Bukowski), Bukowski played one of the drunks in the bar, but he had to teach Rourke how to behave like a drunk because Rourke didn't drink. There's a scene where Rourke's character got into a fight with the bartender and gulps down his beer before going outside to fight. On the first take, Rourke took a sip of a new beer, put it down and walked outside. Bukowski had to explain to him that no drunk is going to walk away from a full glass of beer and then they reshot the scene.
Something else to look out for is the pipe gun that is often used to flip cars over (that fires down out of the engine bay. I first saw it on an Indiana Jones way back, and it doesn't seem to have changed much. Clearly visible at 19s in this clip:
Not stupid per se - but why not at least try and hide it?
Car remote locking making a “Beep-Beep” noise.
Nobody does an early morning fart whilst waiting for the kettle to boil.
Nobody lock/unlocks their computer screen.
Every window in Paris (France, apparently) has a view of the Eifel Tower.
I like to play spot-the-impending-car-wreck-later-in-the-show, when watching BBC dramas. Barrister character driving an 18 year old Mondeo? That’ll be rolled in a bit. Baddie in a new S-Class, he’ll be fine.
British TV dramas are particularly bad for that. You know that only £500 scrappers are going to get crashed.
There’s a bit of forested road that seems to be used for the majority of car crashes in UK dramas. I’ve always assumed it was somewhere like Millbrook. Once you’ve seen it, you really can’t not see it.
It is Millbrook. Top Gear and The Grand Tour used to use it a lot too.
They used to hold a cycle race there too which is how I've come to go around it!
There's another "car crash road" shown here:
you'll recognise it from loads of other TV stuff - Casualty etc have used it a lot.
Thermal imaging that sees through walls to count the baddies. Nope. That's not how it work.
Nobody lock/unlocks their computer screen.
Or more frequently, nobody has to do a pin or fingerprint ID on their mobile before they make a call.
Vehicles crashing through things and coming out unscathed on the other side. Gates, barriers, checkpoints, marketstalls, small trees…Any and all of them would result in severe damage to the car rendering it an instant write off and maybe a slightly dented checkpoint. It’s designed to stop a vehicle you moron, it will not let you drive through it at 80mph!
crazy-legs
Full Member
There’s a bit of forested road that seems to be used for the majority of car crashes in UK dramas. I’ve always assumed it was somewhere like Millbrook. Once you’ve seen it, you really can’t not see it.It is Millbrook. Top Gear and The Grand Tour used to use it a lot too.
They used to hold a cycle race there too which is how I’ve come to go around it!There’s another “car crash road” shown here:
you’ll recognise it from loads of other TV stuff – Casualty etc have used it a lot.
Yeah, the alpine track is used mainly, was where the aston's got destroyed during casino royale, which i believe was at a time where AM and Millbrook were owned by the same parent (Ford?)
Brain MRIs where they just tell the patient to "Lie Still" or "try not to move.
In every one of my Brain MRIs (seven and counting) I've had my head in cage so that I really can't move. Also these MRIs always seem very spacious compared to the ones I'm used to.
the ability of storm trooper armor to protect the said trooper from a blaster hit.
People getting injected or drinking sedatives and falling asleep in 2 seconds…
TBH when I got put out for an op I think I actually said to the person this is quick,it was like my switch had been clicked to off, more than 2 seconds thou but pretty quick.
When they order a pizza, but when the pizza guy turns up they have no cash and have to awkwardly try and work out some alternative form of payment.
I've heard of some of those sort of film scenarios *ahem*
Any chase involving cars and motorcycles. Car can easily keep up with the bike. Any car being chased by a motorcycle is just silly.
20 stone muscle men running after powerful cars, finally catching up with them the other side of the city, not out of breath at all. And then attacking the car and occupants with success.
People jumping out of moving vehicles at speed and without injury. So how come if I fall off my bike at low speeds, I can end up in A&E?
Little people beating up big people.
Imagine the films we would get if all of the above complaints were sorted out. Very long, boring and realistic.
Imagine the films we would get if all of the above complaints were sorted out. Very long, boring and realistic.
Another good video here about how they do explosions in film:
shinton
Free MemberWhenever you see someone carrying a suitcase it’s obviously empty.
Yes, and drinks like takeaway coffee cups always empty. Some ****er pointed it out to me and now I can't "un-notice" it.
Now dear reader, you can enjoy it as well.
baddies can start any car by touching two mysterious wires together than dangle below the steering wheel!?
and pub scenes where nobody pays for their drinks!
Pub scenes where people don't pay for their drinks? Been out on far too many nights with people that think drinks are free...
6 1000 shooters
Things that don't seem to happen in TV and films so much now, but did in everything from the 1970s and 1980s...
Car crashes and occupants crawl from wreckage and hurry away before it explodes into a ball of flames.
Stupid real-life things that don't happen in films and TV...
Characters pull up outside their destination, then spend 15 minutes pissing about with an app trying to pay for their sodding parking.
Tends to be from older Westerns, but every gunshot has a ricochet sound.
Car crashes and occupants crawl from wreckage and hurry away before it explodes into a ball of flames.
In Korean shows it's the opposite. They have a low speed crash in a modern fully safety equipped car, then end up dead with the only visible injury a small cut on their head.
And the fact that nearly every main character was orphaned as a child in a car crash. I suppose rear passenger safety is a lot better than front in Korean cars. That and the fact that in every single show one of the main characters gets run over crossing the road makes me think that roads in Korea are flippin dangerous. But the healthcare is great because they always make a good recovery. Despite all the office politics and business crises the hospitals go through, the patient care is excellent.
People (often police detectives) visiting a hospital and managing to park directly outside the front entrance.
Also, when they get inside they will interview a dodgy doctor who will insist on continuing to walk though the corridors grumpily answering their questions while holding a clipboard. He will then tell them he's very busy and that the conversation is over. We will later find out he's a baddie.
On their way out they will encounter a helpful nurse (possibly also holding a clipboard) who will impart a vital key piece of evidence but is sorry that she can't help in any other way.
fire protection systems in buildings – how many times have all the sprinkler heads magically starting spraying water out even though there’s no heat anywhere near them🤷♂️
Depends on the system, we have ones at work that do that if you so desire.
Baddies hiring an elite force of ex special forces mercenaries to guard their top secret fortress lair only to discover they couldn’t hit a cow’s arse with a banjo
They covered that in Ronin!
Car crashes and occupants crawl from wreckage and hurry away before it explodes into a ball of flames.
It may have been a scene in Fitzcarraldo where a proper solid ball firing cannon, made solely of metal and wood fell off a cliff, rolled down a hillside and.........burst into flames as it rolled. They must have been transporting it full of gunpowder for safe storage, I guess.
Similar walk into a bar sit at bar and immediately asked what they want…no dank and distant “changin’ the barrel” or too busy washing glasses to look your way…
To be fair, that's my experience of bars in the US.
Car remote locking making a “Beep-Beep” noise.
To be fair, that's my experience of cars in the US.
Another good video here about how they do explosions in film:
I'm fast coming to the conclusion that there's no question which cannot be answered with a Tom Scott video. He's like the STW of YouTube.
Whenever there is a shot of a ship, there is a fog horn sound effect (even if it is bright sunlight)
In a standoff/gunfight, neglecting to try and goad the bad guy into emptying thier magazine so they can be picked off when forced to reload.*
*doesn't work if the guns have those special infinate magazines.
Instances where a character just needs to not be in the film anymore, so they cross a road... and get utterly wiped out by a bus or lorry. And none of the remaining characters are remotely bothered by this perfectly natural event.
I always wondered how many people have cooked slowly in a burning car because nobody would go near it, knowing it was definitely about to explode.
Yak
Full MemberThat stormtrooper effect – all sorts of armour and weapons, but no good.
So, they're in a universe with energy blasters that can just go through armour, and light sabers that can just go through armour... so armour's tricky. But white-armoured faceless stormtroopers are still going to be scary and intimidating.
Just look at fully kitted up police, especially in the states- it's not a uniform that's exclusively designed to protect, it's also designed to intimidate, de-humanise the wearer, and create a Wall Of Steel rather than a Bunch of Guys.
whenever there's a external countryside view, there's ALWAYS a Red-Tailed hawk calling somewhere nearby to show that they're outoors so you can hear birds
we don't have red-tailed hawks in europe. or asia, australasia, africa, maybe not even south america...
Whenever you see someone carrying a suitcase it’s obviously empty.
I wasn't party to it but our drama group once did a play involving loads of suitcases where, on the last night, some meany filled one with bricks just before it was to be carried onstage. 🙂
I smiley-face about it - in reality I'd be super-pissed if someone did that to me!
One of the things that distracts is the sounds they use for cars. WTF can't thy record the actual car and tailor it what the car is doing? Classic one last night (well, several) while watching "Stay Close" (despite the earlier poster feeling it was a pile of shite, we have been enjoying it. It's a drama and you ignore most of the stuff that's been described above because we all know it's not real life): Car pulls out of the drive, sound department provide car noise (wrong car) or car accelerating away, despite the act that the car barely accelerates and pulls over to the side of the road to stop.
Oh, and mortal humans (well, the heroic lead) that can evade fully automatic weapons firing straight at them yet can pick off a baddy several hundred feet away with a single shot from a pistol.
And..... 🙂
Been out on far too many nights with people that think drinks are free…
Perhaps they are regulars at Club Tropicana.
Instances where a character just needs to not be in the film anymore, so they cross a road… and get utterly wiped out by a bus or lorry. And none of the remaining characters are remotely bothered by this perfectly natural event.
Well known fact that you can never simply "move house" or "change jobs" in order to not be in a soap opera any more, you have to be killed in a spectacularly implausible set of events.
On which note, following said implausible set of events, there's never any news coverage of it. No wall-to-wall media presence camped by the train wreck / gas explosion / grisly murder scene / tragic parachute accident site.
It just gets discussed in the pub - after you strolled in and said "4 pints please"...
there’s ALWAYS a Red-Tailed hawk calling somewhere nearby to show that they’re outdoors so you can hear birds
see also: Northern Pacific tree frogs for "any" jungle and The Common Loon for when they need creepy bird sounds for that remote lakeside cabin...
Stupid things that they do on TV and films
I’d be super-pissed
Speak like this. Surely no-one uses phrases like this in real life?
Can we rename the entire thread? "Silent Witness: Episode plot lines."
I’d be super-pissed
Speak like this. Surely no-one uses phrases like this in real life?
I watched some cyclocross on Eurosport a few weeks ago. The American commentator added 'super' onto anything and everything in every single sentence, with no apparent irony that I could detect.
What winds me up is it is necessary to kill the family/favourite animal of the 'hero' at the start of an action movie to somehow justify all of the shooting that is to come. Whenever a movie starts and there is a happy family seen you do wonder who is about to die unnecessarily
Surely no-one uses phrases like this in real life?
To be fair, that’s my experience of oh I can't be bothered any more.
They never lock cars except when locking the car means a keyt character is trapped inside
Last time in the US, I did notice people didn't lock their cars. Might have been because it was Tennessee and if touched someones car there was a fair chance of getting shot or the noticeable police presence. In their brown/gold cruisers I thought only existed on TV
I’ve never left my car unlocked or my car keys “hidden” under the sun visor.
Standard means of returning our work hire cars in the 90's. Leave it outside the house with the keys on the visor.
Any film involving archery...always done badly 🙁
Except Brave of course.
Loose like this ....
Slight tangent but while watching (I think) the latest series of Star Trek / Picard, loads of the Romulans had Irish accents. If they were speaking English then what happens between now and the future for a planet light years away to have developed this? Does the Irish film industry grow massively, overshadowing Hollywood and so that's where they all learn the language much like many none native English speakers now speak with an American accent?
Or
If I remember from many series back, they have a universal language translator implanted in the listeners ear, who in the federation decided that the Romulans have that accent and why don't the Klingon have a high pitched Brummie accent? No one would take them seriously and they'd be far less terrifying.
Similarly, if there's no up or down in space, how come all spaceships fly in the same orientation?
I'm not the easiest person to watch a film with.
Any chase involving cars and motorcycles. Car can easily keep up with the bike. Any car being chased by a motorcycle is just silly.
It's not cut and dried which will be quickest. Have a look at stage times for the Dakar (on stages where the bikes and cars follow the same route), the Baja and the TT course.
On the Dakar Peterhansel used to set outright fastest times on tight stages (despite not having a co-driver and doing his own navigation) but was beaten by cars on more open stages - the cars were beaten by the trucks on dessert stages till they changed the rules as trucks beating cars was embarrassing.
On the TT course the bikes are quicker than any car so far - a 600bhp rally car.
So it all depends which bike is chasing which car over what sort of terrain.
My car used to make beeps when locked but I found a way to turn that and other "features" off.
If you are sick of silly implausible Hollywood nonsense try some Euro nonsense instead, it's generally lighter on silly beeps, computer graphics, explosions etc. and has more realistic sex.
One really silly thing is way too many characters smoke, one character in a series I've been watching is cast as a smoker who still chain smokes having survived cancer and losing a kidney. No other character has yet dared grab the cigarette, put it out and say "you know that's illegal in here you stinking polluting *****".