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"There's a cycle path there, why don't you use it?"
Shouted by a fat bloke in a faux-by-4 this morning.
"Because it's shit"* was the best I could muster whilst in earshot.
Better would have been:
"You're in a 4x4, why do you use the road?"
"Why don't you use a gym?"
*the usual pavement covered in leaf litter, lamposts and gives way at every junction and roundabout whilst starting and stopping at random. Fine for a pootle, not so great if you actually want to get anywhere.
I once tried 'Same reason I don't pay for sex' in reply. Sadly didn't hear the response.
"Bike Wan##r!!!"
Which part of your 24.6 mile ride at 08:17 was that on?
#StravaStalker
thisisnotaspoon - Member"There's a cycle path there, why don't you use it?"
You should have replied -
[b] [i]"I know, and I don't even pay road tax!!"[/i][/b]
"But I'd have had to slow down" - given as a justification to pass really dangerously when hanging back literally a second or two (was passing a parked car with the road totally clear ahead) would have enabled the [s]manoevre[/s] [s]manuevre[/s] [s]manoeuver[/s] move to be completed safely for us all.
SMIDSY
Which part of your 24.6 mile ride at 08:17 was that on?#StravaStalker
Stalking via the STW group?
Nine Mile ride on the approach to the Golden Retriever.
SMIDSY
Probably your own fault for "coming out of nowhere."
Someone shouted "Dinosaur " at me on my road bike last week. No idea!!
Stalking via the STW group?
Guilty as charged!
Someone shouted "Dinosaur " at me on my road bike last week. No idea!!
Maybe looked like you had some sort of a saurass
Probably your own fault for "coming out of nowhere."
And not having a bell.
Dantsw13 earlier today
[img] 
[/img]
Oh yeah, a couple of years ago some angry driver was incensed that I had the temerity to ride correctly around a roundabout, making him wait rather than stopping in the middle of it and letting him pull in front of me.
Obviously reaching into the dark recesses of what passed for a brain, he managed to yell out what he considered to be the worst insult he had.
Still not sure how cycling round a roundabout provides evidence that someone is a "PAEDOPHILE!!"
My best of all time - big bin lorry clips me -
me: You hit me back there.
moron: No I didn't.
You all ride the wrong way on the pavements whilst jumping red lights, without paying road tax and having no insurance instead of riding on the cycle path with no lights with no helmet on.
I think that covers all the anti cyclist bullshit bingo.
"...averages XXmpg, on a run."
👿
Nine Mile ride
What were you doing on there? It's an awful bit of road, I daren't go on it. Either the woods or the housing estate for me. Or, in fact, the cycleway!
DezB - MemberMy best of all time - big bin lorry clips me -
me: You hit me back there.
moron: No I didn't.
Had similar.
"You pulled out in front of me"
"No I didn't"
"I hit the back of your car"
"No you didn't"
"Have a look, there's now a huge dent in your boot"
"No there isn't. Goodbye"
😕
What were you doing on there? It's an awful bit of road, I daren't go on it. Either the woods or the housing estate for me. Or, in fact, the cycleway!
It's fine. I use the track through the woods on the MTB when riding to Swinley, but not really an option on the road bike. And it's
miles from home to work so I'm not inclined to start meandering through Great Hollands adding more time!
The cycle path is pointless though. It doesn't start until TRL, ends at the golden retriever (where you could go into the woods), I'm on the road from Finchampstead all the way up New Forest Drive.
I'm riding along an empty main road, driver at side turning sees me approaching and waits until I'm right on him then pulls out, forcing me to brake hard and swerve out of the way.
"Sorry mate but you [i]were [/i]going too fast"
???
What so you thought you'd wait 30 seconds for me to approach then pull out the exact second I arrive, and that's my fault because i'm going too fast?! How does that work? I'm still puzzled by what kind of thought process got him to that conclusion.
"I gave you plenty of room"
"Yes that why you were close
enough for me to kick your car!
Or
"You just kicked an £80 000 car"
Get out and I'll ****ing kick you too
[i]"Sorry mate but you were going too fast"[/i]
Similar, old bloke overtakes and left hooks me. Give him credit, he did stop when he heard me shout, but the exuse was "I didn't realise how fast you were going". Jeez
"If you'd moved over I could have squeezed past!!"
(my attempt to explain that I was riding in the middle / taking primary at a crossing island specifically so people didn't 'squeeze past' at 40mph in a 2 tonne transit van didn't seem to help)
Eurgh, I really shouldn't get involved as it boils my pi$$.. however in the spirit of venting:
Me: (knocking on window at the next junction) Did you see me back there? You just pulled out on me and almost caused an accident. I had to slam my brakes on to avoid you
Driver: yes I did see you, I thought that you were going too fast!
Followed by..
Driver: my brother is a pro cyclist so I'm always really careful around cyclists
Me: clearly not, you were lucky you didn't put me in hospital. Use your brain next time
Ahh, where to start?? Flattering to imply that I might have been going over 30mph, then statements of care that fly in the wind of recent evidence whilst invoking the cyclist relation get out of jail free card. Not that I was squeaky clean, insulting someone's intelligence is rarely a constructive course no matter how accurate.
Aaand relax.
"I'm a cyclist too"
No you're ****ing not, you fat inconsiderate ****er.
After being deliberately forced off the road by a van driver:
Him: You were slowing me down (I was doing well over 30mph down a hill coming to a tight right bend that was *just* into a national speed limit).
Me: You could have killed me - didn't you hear me hammering the side of your van?
Him: Yes. You were in my way.
Me: (Punches him square in the face).
these things rarely end well, but this one did. Family of Dutch tourists close-passed me and a couple of kms later I caught them stopped at a light. Tapped on the window, Dad winds it down but won't look at me, just glares out the windscreen, so I speak to Mum.
"Hi, having a good holiday?"
"oh yes thank you"
"I just wanted to tell you there's a 1.5m minimum passing distance here in the Basque Country. You passed me a little close back there, and I wouldn't want you to have any problems with the police"
"that's interesting, we hadn't noticed. Thanks for letting us now" (Dad still fuming)
"No problem, hope you enjoy the rest of your stay!"
When they passed me again a bit further down the road they left me about 10m!
I was told I was speeding on a flat 40-limit road by some dozy **** - I'll take that 8)
I was offered chicken wings on my ride home from work on Wednesday. This was from the passenger in a car rather than its driver. I was offered the chicken wings whenever I caught up with the car or the car caught up with me. The passenger had a KFC bag so the offer may have been genuine. It may have been intended as motivation, "keep pedalling and I'll reward you with a chicken wing!"
Road tax, are drivers so stupid that they don't realise you can buy a car such as a Nissan Leaf that is 0 rated!!!!!
"You're upsetting my children" - not strictly speaking the driver, I think it came from the wife of the driver who got all angry and stepped out of the car to confront me (therefore upsetting his own kids in the process).
Get on the ****ing footpath. 😆
On another occasion some kind of grunting noises while waving a hammer in my direction. At almost 50 I shouldn't be rolling around in the gutter fighting a man with a hammer but he tipped me over the edge. 😳
mrmo - MemberRoad tax, are drivers so stupid that they don't realise you can buy a car such as a Nissan Leaf that is 0 rated!!!!!
Or one of these
[img] 
[/img]
[i]are drivers so stupid...[/i]
you need to ask?
For those in the Glasgow/Ed area, i was riding home from Glasgow to Ed and up on the Falkirk moors a ned car came up behind me, passenger wound window (windae?) down and asked me if I wanted to buy any drugs ! I declined and he wished me a good ride and they headed off down the road. Quite, quite bizarre.
Maybe he mistook you for Lance Armstrong
I was once called a fat barsteward by a chap in a car after I complained about his driving. My BMI is around 24. His must have been over 30. that made me laugh
after being stopped by a car because i was apparently on the wrong side when i took up the right hand position in a road to turn left - he insisted I should be by the kerb for reasons unknown. I gently explained the highway code - for he was very angry driver behind had also stopped as he did force me to stop. Anyway after a few minutes of increasingly angry and illogical ranting [for once the driver not me] he said
"I'm a cyclist too"
Me " what bike have you got?"
Him Emphatically shouting " A blue one!"
My laughter did not calm the situation.
I was reversing (in my car) into a parking space yesterday, person tries to steal the space by driving into the same space forwards.
I keep going (slowly) on the basis that the towbar attached to my somewhat scruffy 7 year old Skoda will come off better than the front of his nearly new A3 if there is any actual contact.
He winds down his window and shouts "****ing cyclist" at me before driving off.
I assume he must have seen the Tour de Yorkshire in my rear window.
I got called a * by a passenger in a tinted window Corsa because he didn't like me holding primary. The driver even slowed enough alongside me so he could lean out the widow and shout it clearly. I responded as maturely as I could with "So's you Mum!"
They then pulled up ahead to berate me and invite me to take part in some fisticuffs for calling his Mum a * while she was in the back of said car meanwhile she was reading the lads the riot act for being rude.
I've been offered a tow - passenger leaning out of the window. I laughed good-naturedly but declined. They didn't look like responsible people.
I confronted a HGV driver, after a particular close pass on the A308, when he stopped to drop off his cargo
Me. That pass was too close
driver. It obviously wasn't as you are still hear arguing with me
I reported the incident to his employer and got a £40 gift card for my near death experience
Just the once about five years ago going to work between Leatherhead and Ashtead.
Dark winter morning. No other traffic in sight.
Bloke and wife on the other side of the road walking typical Surrey black Labrador.
"Use the cycle path!"
Stopped and just shouted the first thing that popped into my mouth...
"F off and mind your own business you fat ugly c."
Wifey hurried him along.
Saw them again a few days later.
Silence...
Overtaken and left hooked by a friend of my mum while on my paper round.
"sorry, as you live up there I assumed you were going to turn."
Also, I used to have a recumbent with under seat steering. An overtaking driver yelled at me:
"do you work at BT then?"
(the research labs at Martlesham? Er, yes, I do. Good guess 🙂 )
Road tax, are drivers so stupid that they don't realise you can buy a car such as a Nissan Leaf that is 0 rated!!!!!
Road tax, are drivers and cyclists so stupid that they don't realise it hasn't existed for 80 years!!1!
(-:
On the motorbike, I filtered between a bus and a truck, guy behind me tried to follow, clipped one of them and bounced around between the two like a spacehopper falling down a well. "You shouldn't have gone into that gap, it was too small", he says. Impressive how much stuff falls off a GS when you do something like that though
mrmo - MemberRoad tax, are drivers so stupid that they don't realise you can buy a car such as a Nissan Leaf that is 0 rated!!!!!
Or a classic. For some reason, most people that say it to me, are driving little shitboxes and therefore pay less road tax than I do on my proper car, but it's a wee bit too elaborate to get into at the roadside.
Me: Hi Alan (neighbour old likes shoooting stuff) how you doing?
Alan: Why do you lot ride on the road?
Me: You lot?
Alan: Yes you know cyclist, bloody roads are busy you just get in he way.
Me: I suppose they are going places like you.
Alan: Yes but Playford(small village) roads are small you cant get past.
Me: Why are you going that way.
Alan: The main roads so busy, always jammed up.
Me: What with people in cars?
Alan: Bloody cyclists
Ita a simple world for some.
Need to get to work.
Need to get an Audi
Need to get likes
Need to get home and watch xxx
You and your logic can just **** off and do one.
bounced around between the two like a spacehopper falling down a well.
Thanks, you own me a new keyboard, this one is full of orange juice.
Nothing too spectacular for me, although I avoid busy roads if possible.
I heard some revving behind me approaching a traffic island in a built up 30mph zone.
I was in primary in good time as the white paint indicating a cycle lane was broken, and it was a pinch point.
There were also parked cars before and after the island.
The 'cycle lane' was only about half a metre off the raised curb anyway.
So it was one of those situations where you just ride right in the middle of the available space.
Turned my head right to see a car out of the corner of my eye almost mash over the bollards on the central island, and braking suddenly.
I flapped my right arm to signal to slow down.
Got along side me just after the traffic island and shouted, "why aren't you in the cycle lane, it's there for you!"
He sped off before I could compute and shout a reply.
On a club road ride we had a car full lads over take us hanging out the windows shaking beans at us etc. 200 yards later round the they're were stuck in the queue of traffic at the a T junction as 15 of us rolled up behind them. Funny enough the windows were shut and they were as quiet as mice.
Northwind - Member...
Or a classic. For some reason, most people that say it to me, are driving little shitboxes and therefore pay less road tax than I do on my proper car, but it's a wee bit too elaborate to get into at the roadside.
There. Is. No. Such. Thing. As. Road. Tax
🙄
The pedantry on here about road tax is becoming embarrassing to read! It's that thing you pay to use your dirty car.
There. Is. No. Such. Thing. As. Road. Tax
And even VED isn't a ringfenced tax so roads are paid for out of general taxation.
It's that thing you pay to use your dirty car.
No, it's the thing you pay to be able to keep your dirty car on the road. To use it you need the appropriate licence and insurance.
Good grief.
I had somone once overtake me a few m before a red light and cut right in so I couldn't get to the ASL - when challenged he said " the light was red" meaning he was stopping me from jumping the light
I have also had the "all cyclists jump red lights nd ride on the pavement when pointing out to a driver that they were in the ASL box. This while I was waiting at the red light in the road correctly!
"Sorry, I didn't see you, I'm late for the hairdressers"
Stupid bint.
The pedantry on here about road tax is becoming embarrassing to read! It's that thing you pay to use your dirty car.
It's important to challenge it, as it gives motorists the notion that they're entitled to use the road because they "pay for it" in a way that cyclists don't (ignoring of course the fact that most cyclists own cars too).
[quote=shifter ]The pedantry on here about road tax is becoming embarrassing to read! It's that thing you pay to use your dirty car.
unless your vehicle is not dirty in which case its free just alike a bicycle
Its also not been called road tax for getting on for a century so what you call pedantry is just factually correct.
I pay the full road tax for my bike £0 per year as I could with certain cars because the emissions are near zero.
Some of you need to update your "road tax" arguments a bit.
As of this year it is flat rate (after first payment), so the "I pay more for my car than he does" argument is out. As is the "low emissions" argument. (Electric is still free though).
https://www.gov.uk/vehicle-tax-rate-tables
Also I believe vehicle tax [i]is[/i] now to be ringfenced into a "road fund" for spending on the roads, but [i]only[/i] for the Strategic Road Network.
The argument you now want there is that the SRN is only about 2% of roads - 4,300 miles of motorways and major A(M) trunk roads that are mostly unusable to cyclists. Other roads are maintained by local authorities which we [i]all[/i] pay for via council tax and general taxation.
Also I believe vehicle tax is now to be ringfenced into a "road fund" for spending on the roads, but only for the Strategic Road Network.
How far will that go? Expenditure will still be substantially from general taxation.
Its also not been called road tax for getting on for a century so what you call pedantry is just factually correct.
T'was referred to as "road tax", however incorrectly, on the .gov website as late as this century, so you can forgive people's confusion.
i can but not if they are on here. Here its been done to deathso you are just wrong 😉
Should have been stuck on fuel years ago anyway.
Just remembered, probably the single most moronic thing I've heard a driver say. Tried to erase it from my memory as I still have to work in the same office as this dickhead.
"I don't mind cyclists, but they shouldn't ride in the rush hour.."
Good job he was talking to someone else and not me really.
Mr Woppit - MemberThere. Is. No. Such. Thing. As. Road. Tax
And essentially nobody else gives a ****. Smartarsed pedantry only puts people's teeth on edge for no benefit. Every time I hear a cyclist come out with this I cringe, there's no response less likely to be productive or more likely to piss people off.
there's no response less likely to be productive or more likely to piss people off
Your Mum pays less road tax.
cubist - MemberYour Mum pays less road tax.
We drove to the drive-in and she didn't have to pay
Because we dressed her up to look just like a Chevrolet
Some of you need to update your "road tax" arguments a bit.[b]As of this year it is flat rate[/b] (after first payment), so the "I pay more for my car than he does" argument is out. As is the "low emissions" argument. (Electric is still free though).
This only applies to new cars registered 1st April 2017 onwards though. Cars registered before then are still subject to the varying rates dependent on emissions.
Children, children, calm down!
Somewhere on a Max Power forum there's a "stupid shit that cyclists say" thread with a link to this thread now.
Everyone (on STW at least, thank god this isn't the real world) knows VED =/= Road Tax. Lets not have a pissing contest over who can be more analy retentive over the semantics of whther the tax is hypothecated or not. Bessides, if you really want to split hairs then not really a tax on emissions either, otherwise it would be directed towards the NHS and Environment Agency.
[quote=Northwind ]And essentially nobody else gives a ****. Smartarsed pedantry only puts people's teeth on edge for no benefit. Every time I hear a cyclist come out with this I cringe, there's no response less likely to be productive or more likely to piss people off.
Yeah, but it's always in response to a complete idiot, so pissing them off is about the best outcome you can hope for - and any alternate response is far too nuanced for them to cope with.
I mean the correct response is that drivers are subsidised by the general tax paying population, but how productive is that likely to be?
Errrm, so not wanting to be difficult, what is the latest approved STW response to the oily oik shouting 'Oi, Lycra ****a! You don't pay road tax!'?
"I don't pay your mum either"
Everyone (on STW at least, thank god this isn't the real world) knows VED =/= Road Tax. Lets not have a pissing contest over who can be more analy retentive over the semantics of whther the tax is hypothecated or not.
The majority does indeed think this but what they think is not true
Just because most people believe an error this is no reason to pander to it, repeat it or get all upset, and defend it, when the actual facts are pointed out.
The point is that VED ("Road Tax") is paid on the vehicle and not towards maintaining the roads, which is what the wealders of the couplet who use it as an epithet, think that it is...
"I don't pay your mum either"
Good thing I didn't have a mouthful of food or drink when I read that! At least my pad is wipe-clean, unlike Cougar's keyboard, though... 😉
That one I'll have to try to remember. 😀
Was called a 'lycra lout' once (whilst commuting home in my jeans).
After explaining that I had kids to get home to and that I didn't wish to talk to him any longer, I mentioned that I though he was a very strange little man.
Did the job shockingly well.
Do you men types not like being called strange or little? lol