[Closed] Stupid names for kids

I don't get why anyone would want to name the kid after Otis the Aardvark - it just reminds me of the Otis & Marvin Reeves & Mortimer sketches.

A man yelled out:

"Keats! Byron!"

At his children in a sports club soft play the other day.

I had to stand up to have a look.

He didn't [i]look[/i] like a fan of the young romantics poetry movement, it has to be said.

Like choosing a name for a dog, when naming a child you should always choose a name that you would be comfortable yelling across a playground/park/supermarket aisle.

Additionally with a child you should also consider whether they would have trouble being introduced as a Judge in later life.....

Imagine a news reporter reading this out "Preciding over this land-mark legal case is Judge T-Fanny Loser Smith."

Really?

Taking your advice on this one Simon. Funkmaster Mk3 is due in November and shall be called Shep or Lassie.

Definitely Joaquin and not a Portuguese Joaquim?

Fantastic......!

When I eventually get sick of Teaching and smack one of the little blighters, I'd love to have "Judge Funkmaster Mk3" preciding over my case!

OR Judge Jools

Nope... no Quim in his name... It was Joaquin. No Spanish heritage either.

So in the abscence of further information I went with Wha...King.

Do Spanish people really pronounce the Letter J as Juh?

There was a Siobhan in my form at college and in our first lesson, the teacher was reading the register and pronounced it "Sigh-oh-barn" 😀

Do Spanish people really pronounce the Letter J as Juh?

Don't think so. I worked with a Juan, he was Spanish and it was pronounced Wan.

I look forward to my offspring overseeing your trial 🙂

I too like Isambard.

Isambard is a great name..... Few yrs ago we had a family move in near to us that were a bit pikey.... eventually ciarian got arrested........He fitted the stereotype perfectly

Isambard?

i preferred his middle name Kingdom Now there is an awesome name. I made tentative enquires but was vetoed at an early stage.

So in the abscence of further information I went with Wha...King.

Do Spanish people really pronounce the Letter J as Juh?

Which was close as it's Wahkeen but in his case his parents chose different. So no idea what bob is on about.

About 10 years ago it was meeting 2 lasses called Sara and Sarah except they used the pronunciation of the other one...

Having grown up with a lot of Lukes and Leia's there were no Jabbas sadly.

These days most of it makes Shardonai seem normal.

In New Zealand it got a bit ridiculous..... so they are actually having to ban certain baby names. A selection:

Justice - 77 rejections
Lucifer - 7
Lady - 4
. (in name) - 3
Christ - 3
* (star symbol) - 1
4real - 1
Anal - 1
Mafia No Fear - 1
MMMR - 1
Pryncess - 1
Queen V - 1
Queen Victoria - 1
Senior Constable - 1
Using brackets around middle name - 1
V8 - 1

Why would I make this up drac? I have students called Joaquín. My son's best mate is Joaquín. But you know best, I've been saying their names wrong and they are really called wah keen 😆

Wolfgang - wolfgang was a nightmare coming out of his mum, he cried for the first 18months solid, and as I understand it today is still a nightmare at 6 years old.

Bet they wished they had called him Steve.

I taught a PTR - pronounced Peter - dad had apparently done to many e's in his youth. as you can imagine PTR was a LTTL SHT

There was a Siobhan in my form at college and in our first lesson, the teacher was reading the register and pronounced it "Sigh-oh-barn"

There was a really snooty girl at university who when we did the meet and greet at the first opening lectures was not best pleased when I said "What sort of name us sio-bHan?

Unfortunately, my stupidity was over-ruled by her outright snootyness, and her new nickname stuck to her. It could easily have become my nickname had she not had a personality like a pet stone.

Some friends of ours sold their house to a couple with two daughters called Vendetta and Calamity. Poor bastards.

I guess this thread is heading towards Jayden then? ( Hayden, Cayden, Caden, Logan, )

Although recently I did meet a young Beryl and Sidney.

Why would I make this up drac? I have students called Joaquín. My son's best mate is Joaquín. But you know best, I've been saying their names wrong and they are really called wah keen

I didn't say you made it up just no idea what you're on about as the traditonal spanish way is Wahkeen.

Now this is interesting.

http://www.babynamespedia.com/pronounce/Joaquin#German

It seems Jo-a-king is the German way.

OK drac. You're invited to come and take the register in my class. Let's see how they like your pronunciation.

Clue. The spanish pronounce every vowel sound as written. You're mixing it up with Hollywood Spanish.

Unusually, we've got this far without anyone claiming to actually know the urban legend that is Pocahontas McGinty.

OK drac. You're invited to come and take the register in my class. Let's see how they like your pronunciation.

Are you in Catalanoia?

Clue. The spanish pronounce every vowel sound as written. You're mixing it up with Hollywood Spanish.

With what?

So now I'm saying it the German way. You couldn't make this shit up 🙄
I live in Spain mate, I can do a vox populi today if you like. See how many people say wah keen.

So how do you pronounce quinoa?

just seen your edit:

Are you in Catalanoia?

Catalanoia (noun)
The feeling you've been speaking Spanish wrongly all these years 😆

So now I'm saying it the German way. You couldn't make this shit up

No I said that appears to be the German way and interesting the Catalan way which might explain why some Spanish use it that way. I'm still puzzled or interested in how when the traditional way seems to be Wahkeen that you say in Spain it's not?

So how do you pronounce quinoa?

Isn' that supposed to be Kee'wah but I'm probably going to be told that your kid's best friend it's and calls is Jack.

So how do you pronounce quinoa?

😆

In Waitrose, it's KEEN wah. But if you actually want to buy some in a shop in Spain, you're going to have to say ki NOH ah. As I mentioned - every vowel must be pronounced as written, there are no silent letters like in French or English.

So while I don't doubt some people are called wah KEEN (they probably also shop in Waitrose), if you actually say that to a [b]Spanish[/b] 8 year old called Joaquín, you're going to get the same look as when you try to buy KEEN wah.

That makes sense but why is the Joa not Wah if the Spanish pronounce as a H'Y like sound?

Isn' that supposed to be Kee'wah

IIRC that's the pronounciation in Quechua - which I don't speak.

Same way we don't say Wan for Juan - there's two vowels in there so it's more like hu AN (hard to express in type). So Joaquín is, by extension, ho a KIN, though you may hear the 'ho a' as 'hwa', depending on the speaker's accent and how tuned in your ear is.

Same way we don't say Wan for Juan - there's two vowels in there so it's more like hu AN (hard to express in type)

I think that's part of the problem, trying to type the phonetic as how I read and say it, to how someone who is fluent says it might not work.

So Joaquín is, by extension, ho a KIN, though you may hear the 'ho a' as 'hwa', depending on the speaker's accent and how tuned in your ear is.

Yeah see that's just it I hear Hwa, wah is really bad way to type it oops, but I certainly don't hear Juh as in Joe.

IIRC that's the pronounciation in Quechua - which I don't speak.

It's a Quechuan word which has been Anglicised as Keenwah, and Spanglified as Kinoa, neither being wrong. My point was only to highlight that you can't walk into a Spanish shop and buy Keenwah - they are much more blinkered about pronunciation. Britain has a much greater mish mash of accents, so we tend to try harder to understand what the speaker means. French and Spanish will tend to just put their hands on their ears and sing lalalala until you say it their way 😉

Drac, the diminutive/shortening of Juan Carlos (eg the previous king of Spain) = Juanca which is particularly funny for Brits.

There's a wee girl in my wife's nursery called Maeve. When chatting to the child's mother, my wife was corrected on her pronunciation of the girl's name. It's "Ma - eve" apparently, and the mother gets very annoyed at people pronouncing it wrong.

My wife deals with this sort of thing far better than I ever could.

C.

I have a friend called Aonghas.

Any non-Gaelic speakers want to have a crack at pronouncing that correctly?

Juanca which is particularly funny for Brits.

😀

It's "Ma - eve" apparently, and the mother gets very annoyed at people pronouncing it wrong.

There's another way?

Maybe after years of taking, writing and pronouncing names I can get some easily but I struggle so see another away to pronounce Maeve.

I work for an insurer, one of our investigators went out to a "travelling family" to try and take a liability statement after a road traffic accident.

He asked the woman what her name was and she pronounced it "with-an-e", so he thought he had misheard and that she had said claire "with-an-e" or similar and that she was just clarifying how to spell it.

SO he asked her to spell "with-an-e" for the formal statement and she replied....

"Y-V-O-N-N-E"

I grew up with a kid called Digger.
And was at a kids event a couple of weeks ago and was reading through the kids names from a local school. I found the name Le-a. So assumed it was pronounced leea or Leah. Nope the teacher informed me she was called ladasha. Yes the - was pronounced dash.

I have a friend called Aonghas.
Any non-Gaelic speakers want to have a crack at pronouncing that correctly?

I'm guessing Angus?

Maybe with a silent 'g' 😯

The BBC sets a bad example; if your name is coming up on the credits and you want to make it stand out, change the spelling. So plain old John becomes Jonn and plain old Mary gets changed to the Gaelic Maireid.

Maeve = May-v, as far as I've been brought up to pronounce it.

I have an odd name sufficiently odd to have only met one person who shares it in my life and am aware of a single fictional character who has it. Despite my mum's strenuous denials I am sure she named me after the fictional character as she was a big fan of the radio show.

Is it Rollo, as in King Rollo? My mate has that as his middle name.

Maeve = May-v, as far as I've been brought up to pronounce it.

Oh yeah.

I have an odd name sufficiently odd to have only met one person who shares it in my life and am aware of a single fictional character who has it. Despite my mum's strenuous denials I am sure she named me after the fictional character as she was a big fan of the radio show.

Goon.

I have a friend called Aonghas.

Any non-Gaelic speakers want to have a crack at pronouncing that correctly?

I'd guess Angus too.

I'd guess Angus

And you'd be wrong.

Neither is it the most commonly guessed effort of Ay-ong-a-hass.

It's actually pronounced the same as Innes.

It's actually pronounced the same as Innes.

I've mentioned this on here before when the topic comes up but there were boy/girl twins at my daughter's nursery who were called Blade and Trinity.

I'll fess up to having given my kids "stupid" names. Only as their middle names, if that gets me any redemption. Eldest has Bodhi (as in Point Break and buddhism, and as in Bode Miller if he could spell) as one of his middle names (Andrew is the other) and the youngest has Ziggy Bob as his two middle names. I think we got sillier the second time around and so he got two 🙂

They have sensible first names and can use their weird names if they become rock stars or street artists. If they want to be doctors or lawyers they can use their first names.

I'd like to apologise to all here that I may have offended by doing this to them 🙂

I used to know a chap called Hastings. Trainee lawyer, absolutely smashing chap, and every bit as posh as you'd expect.

I'll fess up to having given my kids "stupid" names. Only as their middle names, if that gets me any redemption.

Seeing as though we are confessing I'll join in. My sons middle name is Hendrix. I love Jimi, Mrs Funks dad's middle name is Henry and her mum's family are German. Killed three birds with one stone there. He also has an uncommon forename, but it's a proper name, just really old and no longer popular.

she'd just had her 7yr old daughter's eyebrows tattooed on

Is facial tattooing of a 7-year old even legal?

I know someone who has just had another child and one of their two middle names is "Danger".

That's fantastic. "Danger is my middle name... no, really, look"

took me ages to work out how to pronounce Niamh

Why? It's like the batteries innit...

Aw, bless little Nickel Metal Hydride.

there's two vowels in there so it's more like hu AN (hard to express in type). So Joaquín is, by extension, ho a KIN

Why's it not ho-a-koo-in then?

Eldest has Bodhi (as in Point Break and buddhism, and as in Bode Miller if he could spell) as one of his middle names (Andrew is the other) and the youngest has Ziggy Bob

Would've been more professional if you'd named the second one Doyle...

Any non-Gaelic speakers want to have a crack at pronouncing that correctly?

Throatwarbler Mangrove

I'll join in with jnr#2 who is Xavier.

Even though we and he have repeatedly explained how to pronounce it to his teachers, they still go with the American version, rather than Spanish or French. Happily he's known as Xavi or Xav though.

I will claim the credit for getting the 3 kids initials past the fun police though; XJS, WMDS, IRS...

I know a lad whose parents names him Aeneas.
Its pronounced Neil, or at least that's what he says when you ask his name.

It seems Jo-a-king is the German way.

Almost. The German equivalent is Jochen, pronounced YohChen (with the CH pronounced like the Scots pronounce Loch - a gutteral chh from the back of the mouth/throat)

Pinetree Jr is called Ruaridh as both my wife and myself are Scottish and really liked the name. Would be great, except we live in Plymouth...
"Rudy? Roorid? Roderick?" We've had some belters.
Best one was in the early days - I was out walking in the park with him early one morning (after much sleep deprivation) and a lady stopped to say hello:
"Who's this then?"
"This is Ruaridh" Being so tired I must have slurred the first two words, as she responded with:
"zuhroory? that's a lovely name"
Proves one of two things: A) She has terrible taste, or B) People will nod and smile through anything.

Almost. The German equivalent is Jochen, pronounced YohChen (with the CH pronounced like the Scots pronounce Loch - a gutteral chh from the back of the mouth/throat)

Jock?

Jock?

Sassenach...

Sassenach

How do they get that with a J?

How do they get that with a J?

It's a silent J

Ah!

Gealic is more confusing than Spanish.

Gealic is more confusing than Spanish.

Scottish or Irish?

I don't even know if we're joking any more... Have i genuinely misinformed you?

It's a silent J

I thought Bob was the silent one?

took me ages to work out how to pronounce Niamh

Why? It's like the batteries innit...
Aw, bless little Nickel Metal Hydride.

I laughed (as the dad of a Niamh)
Not many Niamhs are born in France, I'll tell you that (for justification she does have an Irish passport)
They have a field day trying to pronounce it 😀

[quote=perchypanther ]I have a friend called Aonghas.
Any non-Gaelic speakers want to have a crack at pronouncing that correctly?

ho a KIN?

I believe the correct spelling and pronunciation is : ye ken?

I thought Bob was the silent one?

LOLZ

I believe the correct spelling and pronunciation is : ye ken?

That's if he's from Edinburgh

Judging by what some of my mates have called their offspring in recent months, the current fashion seems to be picking a bunch of letters and forcing them together then worrying about how to pronounce them later...

Can't put them here as it will show up in any Google searches they may do in later life. And one of the mates is a fellow stwer... though hasn't been active for a while.

Re the NZ names -

IIRC you may not register a name in NZ that confers any kind of rank - therefore no Judge, Justice, Prince, etc.

I also think there's something about it not being offensive but aside from that it's fair game, hence the legendary Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/546018/Court-orders-name-change

VERY NOT SAFE FOR WORK or kids!!!!!

Lee Mack on Irish names.

Aw, bless little Nickel Metal Hydride.

i wonder if she has any siblings?...probably called Nicad and Lipo 😆

one of the kids in my sons class has a sister called Princess...when she was born her parents had some vinyl decals with her name, birth date, weight and baby picture made for their car...the dad looks like a slightly sober version off Shameless and the mum looks a bit Waynetta Slob...proper chavvy!! 😆

you cant beat a bit of Moon Unit and Dweezil Zappa though 😀

I don't even know if we're joking any more... Have i genuinely misinformed you?

😆

Thanks to my parents I've never felt particularly welcome in Wales.

I'll see myself out.

Allan

No time to read all of this but i was recently in a shop and got served by a young lady called 'Shalamar'
Do i win ?

No time to read all of this but i was recently in a shop and got served by a young lady called 'Shalamar'

No time to read all of this but i was recently in a shop and got served by a young lady called 'Shalamar'
Do i win ?

[img] [/img]

Thanks to my parents I've never felt particularly welcome in Wales.

I'll see myself out.

Allan

My name's Alan and I approve of this joke.