[Closed] Stupid names for kids

Jesus weep. What were his folks thinking? At least teach the poor bugger to say it properly.

It's Wha...King if that helps.

bit judgey aren't you?! who are you to judge how people should pronounce their kdis names?

It's Wha...King if that helps.

How are the three full stops pronounced? Is it a sort of series of Khoisan clicks and pops?

EDIT or is this just a gratuitous case of swear filter avoidance? [hovers mouse over 'report post']

Is Simon your real name?
🙂

Coming from Simon Semtex 😉

Names are one thing. You can always change it. Just witnessed a mother in co-op chatting to the young woman on checkout about how she'd just had her 7yr old daughter's eyebrows tattooed on.

'Er wone ave to ave 'em dun again.

Girl on checkout - 'You had them tatooed?'

Mother - ' Yer - she looked like a f***** albino before she had them done '.

The woman on checkout responded with a pseudo-interested expression somewhere between a smile and a 'where am I?' panic. The 7 year old daughter looked unconcerned but her eyebrows looked like, well, not like eyebrows.

Really though I agree, I know someone who called their child Tobias which to me sounds like a name for pitbull. Though I'm sure it's common somewhere.

Tobias which to me sounds like a name for pitbull.

I wouldn't say that to a Pitbull's face.

LOL love it!

A bit judgey? You don't know the half of it. Ever wondered why there was a teacher always hanging around your table during exam invigilation?

Google...Games bored teachers play to keep themselves amused... LOL

Your really think that Tobias sounds like the name of a Pitbull? Does this dog also have a monocle, perhaps a rapier? Sounds like an okay kids name to me. It gets bonus points for being a real name that's not John or Dave.

Chavtastic names like Kenzie and Kade.

Google...Games bored teachers play to keep themselves amused... LOL

Well I know what one PE teacher out our school liked to play.

Had this recently with one of my daughter's classmate who had a very [i]unusual[/i] spelling of a relatively common name (so unusual in fact that I won't risk repeating it here in case it is a googlewhack).

I apologised for misspelling it (i.e. correctly) on her birthday card and her mum responded [i]"Thanks ok, it's not a normal way to spell it in fact am sure she will be the only person in the world that spells it like that! We like to make life hard for her lol and made it up ha"[/i]

So I guess for some it is an attempt to signal that their child is a unique and special snowflake, completely unlike all the millions of other children their age.

that's not John or Dave.

Thats the funny thing really. The OP is amused that someone has named their kid after a bloke in the movies and not done the more sensible thing of naming them after a transliterated version of ???????? or ??????.

The 7 year old daughter looked [s]unconcerned[/s] but her eyebrows looked like, well, not like eyebrows.

The 7 year old daughter looked exactly the same as she had for the previous five minutes because her mother has allowed her to have a fixed expression permanently tattooed on her face. There are a lot of really, really stupid people around. Never underestimate just how many there are and how stupid they are.

To be fair it's not ????? fault he's judgemental.

To be fair it's not ????? fault he's judgemental.

Or on such a short fuse.

We had a nieghbour who's daughter was called 'Tiffany'.

Nice little girl, very sweet.

The she started wearing a necklace that spelt her name 'Typhanni'

We moved.

Tie fanny, now that is a bad name. I honestly don't mind unusual names as long as they are real names and spelled correctly. Things like Tie fanny really boil my piss.

Then again, I'm not a big fan of standard names either. Every other man at work is Stuart, Matthew or Philip. There are loads of names out there yet the same shite gets used over and over.

Made up names, daft spellings or giving your child a pensioners name (Kenneth, Geoffrey, Arthur etc) should come with a punishment for the parents.

"It's pronounced JOE A KIN."

giving your child a pensioners name (Kenneth, Geoffrey, Arthur etc)

Yeah but by the time they are old enough to care all the pensioners will be called Stuart, Matthew or Philip. 😀

True Graham, true 😀

I just can't imagine a child called Kenneth!

I know a couple with a baby called Arthur and he looks like Benjamin Button. That kid was born old.

"Wha...King" I said.... only to be met with the entire class correcting me with a chorus of "It's pronounced JOE A KIN."

Has it occurred to you that this is a wind up? Is his other name pronounced "Owen-Ree"?

When we registered our child's name we followed after a little girl called ALLANFA DAN. You non welsh speakers may think that this is a nice welsh name but it actually translates into FIRE EXIT.

The parents were unsure of a name for their baby until they saw the sign in the hospital, hence naming her Fire Exit....

bit judgey aren't you?! who are you to judge how people should pronounce their kdis names?

If you think that's bad you don't want to know what he thinks of people that use the term 'judgey' :roll:. Maybe try Mumsnet if you want to use that type of language :wink:.

The parents were unsure of a name for their baby until they saw the sign in the hospital, hence naming her Fire Exit....

Reminds me of a doctor friend who had to convince a new mother that "Placenta" was not "a nice name for a girl". 😆

When my missus was in for her second C-section (the nice calm elective one) the couple in before us were planning to call their daughter "Hunny B" 😯

Note: thin hospital bed curtains are [i]not[/i] good at masking snorts or fits of the giggles.

When we registered our child's name we followed after a little girl called ALLANFA DAN. You non welsh speakers may think that this is a nice welsh name but it actually translates into FIRE EXIT.

😆 that is funny!

What's with calling offspring "Bear" ? 😯 What an utterly ridiculous name.

Edit: especially when you become an adult.

I know a kid called Beech.

What's with calling offspring "Bear" ?

Naming a boy Sue.

You could write a song about that.

I have a running bet with my BiL, we're waiting for the first Chlamydia or Alopecia to be spotted.

Thor is pronounced Tor but I get what you mean

I know a kid called Beech

Maybe it's his mother's maiden name and he's simply a son of a beech

My two favourites from work are Reebok and Le-a. No not Leah, as the mum explained to me after I'd had a stab. Le dash a.

It is in Spanish

😆

Since when the Spanish pronounce J as a Juh sound?

What's with calling offspring "Bear" ?

As in Liam Payne And Cheryl's baby?

"Bear Payne" probably sounds like quite a good name when you are giving birth.

Personally I think they should have gone with "Window" or "Sham"

Or Cam or Max 🙂

[i]My two favourites from work are Reebok and Le-a. No not Leah, as the mum explained to me after I'd had a stab. Le dash a.[/i]

I only clicked on this thread to tell my story of being told of a kid at someones school called Ledasha. I would have spelt it L-a . Same (poor) kid, surely?!

I always thought that 'Insertnamehere' (pronounced INS-URT-NAM-EHERE) is a lovely name for a girl. 🙄

Seriously though; it's not the kid's fault that the parents are wazzocks. I can testify that weird names aren't easy to live with, be they Chav or be they Posh.

Seriously though; it's not the kid's fault that the parents are wazzocks. I can testify that weird names aren't easy to live with, be they Chav or be they Posh.

Is your real name Joaquin? Go on, you can confide in us

Overheard in Pilsworth ASDA about 15 years ago...

"CANTONAAAAR! GET 'ERE!"

Yeah... you're right.... Far too judgey for my own good...

Just checked out Mumsnet...

Apparently some daft bint wants to call her son "Penis Beaker."

What you think?

Smells a bit fishy to me.

My eldest is Ethan... some people call him E-fan or even Eeef. It makes my skin crawl. Real grown up adults mind you. When he started school some of the other kids called him E-fan, but they were only 4... by 5 or 6 they'd mastered it.

I've a nephew with a badly spelt name (in my grumpy mind anyway) but he's a star of a lad so I let it slide 😉

Meet Kaos.

[img] [/img]

Just found out an old colleague has had a new baby boy and called him Isambard

Meet Kaos.

Oooh I hope he makes it to captain!

I have an odd name sufficiently odd to have only met one person who shares it in my life and am aware of a single fictional character who has it. Despite my mum's strenuous denials I am sure she named me after the fictional character as she was a big fan of the radio show.

I have never really felt burdened by it and it meant I never had a nick name at school as oddbod said "why give you a nick name when your given one stands out?"

I have given my son a pensioners name but we call him Harry on a day to day basis and Harold only at the Drs and when telling him off.

Since when the Spanish pronounce J as a Juh sound?

They pronounce 'c' as 'juh', hence

[img] [/img]

(obvs)

It's Mace.

I have an odd name sufficiently odd to have only met one person who shares it in my life and am aware of a single fictional character who has it. Despite my mum's strenuous denials I am sure she named me after the fictional character as she was a big fan of the radio show.

Bluebottle or Eccles?

Wait for the day you meet someone called Siobhan but pronounced Sigh-o-ban or a Sian pronounced Cyan!!

Used to work with brothers named kenson and Kayson....... never really thought that much about it untill nearly 2 years later we found out that their parents were called Ken and Kay!!!

Vinnyeh - Slartibartfast, is that you?

"Zaphod...?"

of a single fictional character who has it

Sherlock?

Jabba?

Groucho?

I never had a nick name at school

The thing is - back in the day kids had to have a nickname as there were probably at least 3 or 4 kids in the same class and a fair few more in the school who all had the same name as them.

I did a bit of work in schools a few years back and out of a year group of 40 no two kids shared the same first name (and nobody had weird or weirdly spelled names either). Just the other week I worked with nearly 100 kids from 4 schools and there were hardly any duplicates then too. When I was that age you were lucky if you could manage to get 4 people round a table without some of them having the same name. In my geography class we had a table where everyone was called Andrew.

Amongst the kids I was working with it didn't seem like anyone had a nickname - not just because of there being no repetition of names but because they all had names that were short and easy to say in conversation to begin with - there wasn't even the need to shorten them.

[url= https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_minor_The_Hitchhiker%27s_Guide_to_the_Galaxy_characters ]Take your pick.[/url]

Makes me a bit sad that my child naming days are behind me..

Harold only .. when telling him off.

[b][i]"'AROLD!"[/i][/b] surely?

[img] :large[/img]

took me ages to work out how to pronounce Niamh

Graham, can you please keep political photos out of this thread? Thanks.

I missed the goon show bullet by a hairs breadth they went for the Archers.
Defiantly the correct generation GrahamS , named after his granddad.

I know a couple who called their daughter Maybe, I queried the spelling expecting it to be May Bee (no better) but nope, it's Maybe.

I know someone who has just had another child and one of their two middle names is "Danger".

Geek baby name:

[img] [/img]

Time to re-post ...

🙂

From a family I saw at work once - if your family name is Sogi, don't call your child Kuntal.

No one ever believed me until I was at a party and bumped into a teacher from their school who could back me up.

but few of us would care to put it on our cards. It takes a Turk to do that.

cheekymonkey888
took me ages to work out how to pronounce Niamh

Why? It's like the batteries innit...

My brother in law wanted to call my nephew Axl as he's a huge G'N'R's fan 🙄

My sister managed to get him to accept it as a middle name, he's going to get bullied at school enough as he's got bright orange hair*!

Nothing against redheads, I like them but he's bright blood y orange, hopefully it'll calm down..

My dad saved me - mom wanted to name me Tarquin Hermes Trismegistus.

I prefer the good old fashioned Victorian names*.

Minty Badger, Scary Looker, Toilet and Susan Semolina Thrower are a few of my favourites!!

*According to horrible histories.

Since when the Spanish pronounce J as a Juh sound?

My point was, the kids were saying it more correctly than the teacher (if the child's name was Spanish, rather than being named after a movie star).

https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/Joaquín

I don't get why anyone would want to name the kid after Otis the Aardvark - it just reminds me of the Otis & Marvin Reeves & Mortimer sketches.

My eldest is called Edward. The registrar asked us "how are you spelling that"? I couldn't think of a different way, but he said you'd be amazed at the crap people try. He could make suggestions, but unless it was offensive he had to go with it!

The book Freakanomics has a section about a scientist (it's always the scientists) who called his sons Loser and Winner. Winner became a criminal and Loser a police chief. This adds nothing to the thread, but meh

Just found out an old colleague has had a new baby boy and called him Isambard

I quite like that!