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I have wrote this post so many times over the last two years and deleted it because I thought someone might see it or realise its me.
A little bit of back ground I had what I thought a great life a missus who I loved and thought we would be together for ever two wonderful kids, as everyone you have ups and downs but on a whole I thought we were happy, together for just over 23 years.
She came into a unexpected inheritance which we thought would change our lifes or rather I did, well it did change our lifes she decided right after a family holiday she was leaving me which she did, allready packed when I got home and gone.
Around a few weeks later she told me she had brought a house and we needed to sell the family home quickly.
Which we did, my son lived with me while this was going on and my daughter for a short while. The house sold and I moved out back to my parents on a Wednesday and then on the Friday my work suddenly shut down had been there 24 years.
I am now living at my parents because I can't afford a house on my own, went a bit crazy brought another motorbike which I have not used (going to sell it soon), a mountain bike and a transporter.
My ex doesn't speak to me anymore and neither does my daughter apart from my birthday or Xmas or father's day actually last time I saw and spoke to her was fathers day.
My son is amazing and we have been going out on mtbs once a week mainly to FOD in the van, enjoying this massively until I crashed collapsed a disc in my back, massive bruising and fluid on my back, got myself back healthy and have just been to Scottish borders for a week with my son ( omg what a place).
Not sure why I'm telling the Internet all this information but I am sick of being alone, lost and crying every morning (mornings are the worst).
I have another job but miss my old work colleagues as it was like a family,
I used to go to the gym with my son 5 days a week but when the house sold he moved in with his mom and joined a David Lyodd gym the three of them. I have recently got back into gym 3 days a week and entered my self into a couple of mtb races to give myself drive and focus. ( always found if I have entered something I will train for it). Anyway I could go on sorry but it kinda felt good to write it here. Thanks everyone and any suggestions or help will be great fully received, I cant let myself become another statistic.
Keep talking to anyone that will listen, when you run out of those, come here.
Hope it helps to get it off your chest at last. Life really hurts sometimes, doesn't it. Glad you're managing to stay out of that black hole, goodness knows it's tempting to sink into it sometimes. STW has your back 🙂
Man that sounds tough. Anyone would struggle with all that, so you deserve huge credit for coping and for taking positive steps to help yourself. The gym, the planned races, asking for help on here. Do you have friends, even old ones you could reconnect with? Whereabouts are you? Life is in turns awful, mundane, awesome on repeat and in no particular order. When it's awful, remember it won't always be.
I wouldn't say im doing well some days just existing, and I have really struggled, work colleagues etc see me as a joker childish etc but its all a front ( even though I am that person when happy),
The friends one is hard because I left old friends behind when had family, and mostly did things with my exs side of the family.
That still continues just with out me which hurts sometimes because I have just been cut out it seems.
I have one true mate but have not seen him in over a year.
Just back from Golfie, glentress etc and quickly booked another week up there soon hence the other posts about sleeping bags and books, because I'm going on my own hopefully be good for me and hope I can but it behind me and move on, have never been away on my own so hoping I cope and not just sit there upset.
I have one true mate but have not seen him in over a year.
Give him a call, go and see him. Arrange some rides with people on here. Do some evening courses or new hobbies to meet other people.
Hells bells, some stormy seas there fella. As bloke says, reach out to folk, they just might be sat there rueing losing touch too.
Just back from Golfie, glentress etc and quickly booked another week up there soon hence the other posts about sleeping bags and books, because I'm going on my own hopefully be good for me
Give us a shout and I'll meet up with you for a ride/beer/coffee whatever.
Just sent you a message.
Singlespeedstu, I brought your stumpy evo from you a good few years ago now, still got it and buying it was what made me want to come and ride up there,I nearly sent you a message before going to take you up on offer of a guide, I will pm you closer to me going, thank you.
I know you did Dave. You seemed like a decent guy when we met so it'd be great to show you round.👍
I’m not in your head so can’t understand the pain, but there’s still a lot of positivity in your post (your son, your mountain biking, your push to recover from injury, continued employment). Channel it and expand it - it’s within your grasp. Respect for posting and hope you got something out of writing it.
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Alongside being a loving father, riding your bike, reconnecting with an old friend, and the incredible forum support…
… perhaps consider Andy’s Man Club or Man Gang where you can confidentially talk and meet other men and share your struggles, on a weekly basis, anonymously if you prefer
Well done for reaching out, it’s really impressive that you have managed so much, it’s good to get it out and to acknowledge the very real pain and struggle
You’re not alone, and whilst it may feel hopeless at times, we’ll hold that hope for you
We believe in you
Take care of yourself
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I think a lot of us are going through some tough times in one way or another at the moment, so you're not alone.
Definitely reach out to your friend, and the clubs suggested by SYZYGY are a good shout too. Beyond that don't be afraid to speak to a professional, for some people it can make a big difference.
Wishing you all the best mate 👍
Wow, what a sh!tst0rm you've had to endure - I'm not sure I could deal with it, so well done for making it through this far. It can only get better from here, right? 🌻
Thank you for all the messages I do really appreciate them.