[Closed] Strangest thing that has happend to you or that you have seen, while biking?

elderly naked (male) walking dogs in Hanchurch

Guy arguing with a lamp post.

Abducted by aliens

I saw a fox making sweet love with a badger.

Will they have boxs or fadgers?

Solo night ride a few years back, lights browned out towards the end, so rode into car park sans illumination, flicked lights back on so I could find my car only to spotlight a couple of the light on their loafers persuasion....(how to put this delicately?) ...... doing an impromptu and alfresco prostate inspection.

Also as OP Adult Stag in the mist early doors.... Absolutely awesome!

Oh yeah, nearly forgot, night ride in Rendlesham Forest on the anniversary of the UFO incident.... nearly got abducted by weirdos wanting me to take them to my leader.

Abducted by WCA

2 guys dressed in armour hitting each other with swords.

Numerous intimate encounters.

Heard, but didn't see, a werewolf.

2 men in the middle of a forest dressed in army gear carrying a canoe with a cardboard cut out of David Hasslehoff in it.

Had some guys shooting pheasants in the next field to where i was cycling the other day blissfully unaware they were raining pellets down on my head. Or Perhaps they were aware????

Whilst in my local forest.....a man in the ferns with a bike, with just purple pants on, with casual shoes and socks.................and when I say pants I mean Y fronts !! lol

I was shocked, but then a little worried......

The porn shoot i witnesed at moses gate country park is the pinnacle for me..

Oh and while some one mentioned UFO's....
If anyone oop norf remembers a headline in the bolton evening news in 1991 "UFO's spotted over Bolton moors"...

That might have been some moron in a blue mini 850 doing reverse donuts on Anglezarke car park firing army flares liberated from the stores out the passenger window... 😳

Once first thing on a misty morning, I rode into a clearing in the middle of Dalkieth country park and saw three deer stand up out of the mist and bound off again and disapear.

One of the strangest things I ever saw was 4 cadbury cream egg cars (smart cars in disguise) racing round Kelvingrove Park in Glasgow early one Sunday morning with Murray Walker comentating on a PA, a woman stood waiting to hand out free cream eggs but there was not a single spectator in sight.

Oh bum. I thought I had abducted an alien and it turns out to be DezB.

Sorry about the whole probe thing. Just an simple misunderstanding old boy!

A road sign in a french forest which said - in English

"If you here a loud whooshing sound, like a jet engine, leave the forest quickly and don't look back"

Imagine if you did abduct DezB though. What would you do with him?

Aside from the probe?

darn my google image searching skills are not fast enought today 😕
[img] [/img]

A wallaby. In the wild. In Oxfordshire.

(I have photos to prove it)

...other than that, one of the most bizarre things I've ever seen was a video on the web of some scots guy manically beating the crap out of some Kona frame bearings with an unsettling intensity. Sort of remided me of something from Silence of the Lambs. That was pretty weird. 😉

I took 5 ASBO kids on a 'social-development-day' riding on Cannock Chase...all went well until we got back to the carpark to see a couple going for it in the back of a horsebox, what I can't understand is why they didn't close the door or why they carried on as the ASBO boys whooped and hollered. The Chase can be a very strange place at times!

[i]darn my google image searching skills are not fast enought today [/i]

That is actually a [u]photograph[/u] of the day in question.

Strangest thing ive ever seen whilst riding was a pure white stag stood at the edge of a clearing with his head in the air....

Naked man.

bloke running scared (from what i have no idea) with only a dress shirt, open to the waist and shoes on - 3pm friday afternoon!!

Night ride on woodbury common chasing down a couple of mates (ok then, i had been dropped) when i hurtled out of control into a bunch of royal marines having a pow wow before going into play war games.

Riding on the moors and old mine workings past Lochwinnoch a couple of years back during summer when the ferns were high and my mate says 'It was round about here a couple of weeks ago that the Lochwinnoch Leopard was spotted!.' (and not for the first time) Makes you pedal just that little bit faster.

Also sheep crashing through the fern unseen, just off of the track, when you are out on the bike on your own.

Many night time startled (rabbit in the headlight look) people in compromising positions. Usually when there are loads of us out and just light up the place...

was riding my local trails a few years ago (shotover park in oxford) - came round a quick corner to meet some guy having a dump in the middle of the trail, luckily had enough time to swerve and miss him and the offending turd! 😯

also whilst riding saw some kids walking down a lane swinging a bloody pigs head about was pretty wierd

An little old lady taking a wizz in the bushes whilst holding on to her dog. Obviously just caught short and the poor old dear didn't know what to do with herself, eventually falling over in a panic.

I decided the best route was to ride on rather than go back to see if she was okay - I thought she may have been slightly embarrassed.

🙂

The Southern Yeti - Member
I saw a fox making sweet love with a badger.

Will they have boxs or fadgers?

Fox knows.

I've had to slam on the brakes for a defecating chav squatting by the side of a trail before. He greeted me with a cheery "Mornin!", as if pooing outide not 100 yards from a public convenience is the most normal thing in the world.

There's a herd of deer complete with a white stag near where I live too and I've found myself riding through the trees in the middle of a startled herd more than once. Magical.

Other highlights have included meeting a bunch of smartly dressed kamikaze Hassidic Jews on bicycles coming the other way who absolutely refused to give me an inch of space on the trail.

Up on the local woods a load of "role players" pretending to hit each other with swords then the same bunch on another occasion with a bloke tied up in just his y fronts?

Not really seen anything like the above. Never even seen a couple having sex.

A goblin (though he denied it)

Just remembered the best one - My neighbour in a car with a cucumber and a crowd of observers but not, interestingly enough, her husband.

We made eye contact across a crowded car park and I rode on.

Next day I had to walk past her house while she was doing the garden and I really struggled to make eye contact. Not sure why I was embarrassed though.

I've managed to create a pretty surreal sight. Towards the end of a ride in the hills coming back to civilsation, trail is close to a rambers pub so the woods around are busy with old walkers rambling almost out of site of the carpark then back to the pub high tea.

I jam a wheel into a rut and almost go over the bars. Somehow manage to get a foot down but my other foot and both hands somehow refuse to let go of the bike. I lunge forwards, fork springs the bike backwards and upwards and it tries to go over my shoulder, with my leg still attached The momentum keeps me hopping forwards down the hill in this strange yoga position head down looking backwards, bike and leg in the air, past the walkers, while I'm involuntarily shouting 'Jesus!' really quite loud. Eventually I stop but the bike just wants to stay up there for a while so I'm left standing on one leg still, head down. Then someone switches the gravity back on. The bike comes down and I collapse in a heap. As I get up the saddle rail hooks into the little clip that holds the camelpak hose on my should strap and I'm standing there with a bike that I can't quite figure out how to put down

I think I did much to foster spirit of mutual understanding and respect between mountain bikers and elderly red socks that day. No need to thank me, really.

2 possible winners -

1. Ouiji board with a dead crow nailed to the middle 😯

2. A blown up safe (subsequently reported)

When I was about 17, so in 1990 or so, having just got to Chanctonbury Ring I was lying next to the bike having a breather when two rather buxom, topless horse riders rode past 😯 😀

Few years ago, there I am quietly minding my own business, riding along a path in a Norwegian forest, when suddenly several bushes jumped up and pointed guns at me. 😯

T'was a bunch of young soldiers in ghilly suits doing their military training. 🙂

Their CO was a lovely blonde lass who gave me some hot chocolate and showed me her maps.

Happened upon a man taking "photo's" 😯 of a lady.
Plus I was chased by a fox!

Yep big group of role players here (hut woods), Gandalf, Hobbits the lot, found it hilarious till I realised there was quite a few of them, and I bet even blunt swords would smart a little....

There is some sort of 'secret garden' quite deep into lordswood surrounded by tall bushes. Complete with plant pots, bench, table, swing and mirror. Very odd.

Nearly got wiped out by a startled stag once, they are really really big close up.

No naked men, but I did once find two middle aged blokes 'chasing' each other....

Naked fella walking in the woods. Really made him jump back into the undergrowth.
Couple sh**ging in an open gateway next to a road - her on top didn't miss a stroke when i gave'em a cheer (not tha i was looking you understand!!)
Another couple sh**ging in a 4x4 - blocking the trail, had to squeeze past - squeals from inside!!- mate had a flat at bottom of trail - 4x4 came down & past us - fella lookin quite pleased with himself - "lady" lookin a bit red! We gave 'em a cheer & hearty applause.

Whilst going through a farmer's field, the farmer stopped us. We expecting a getoffmyland, but he asked if we could help him catch a cow and help deliver it's calf.

For the next half-hour we chased the cow, with a huge calf delivery device.[ a big metal cradle with a jack on it ]. Good job for us, we never caught the cow.

whilst on night ride had the living sh*t scared out of me by five armed bushes standing up in front of me then had very surreal conversation with the five bushes/paras about mountain bikes in the woods in the dark very very weird 😯
same woods has a large car park at one end always a good laugh to be had by turning off our lights and riding up to the nearest car and turning them on when right next to it 😆
but the one that really frecked me out was the red orb of light i watched dart around the sky and pass right over my head all with no noise when i was out a few weeks ago on a solo night ride 😯

Bike ride yesterday around Robins Wood/Ticknall and Aston on Trent.Came upon a canal barge with an 8ft spade/hammer device attached to the front,breaking a path through the frozen Derby/Liverpool canal.A sight to behold. 😯

Sheep playing hide and seek

[img] [/img]

Either that or they still think we're at war.

A ford Focus. Not that unusual but this was pre launch. I was cycling down a country lane with a mate when an all black car came past, it was going pretty quick for the roads. A couple of bends later it was in a bush, the body panels were mostly covered in black tape. We offered a hand to push it out but a stern looking hulk of a man asked us to be on our way, we watched from a nearby bridge and a following car (think it was a mondeo) turned up to pull them out.

Looking up from the trail and staring straight down the barrel of a gun is pretty freaky for a second, til you correlate it with the fact you're riding on army training land with a no live fire rule 🙂

any more of these? quite a funny read this one.

Mid morning man on man fellatio, wasn't even a discreet trail being about twenty metres from the road. One did the 'jump up pretending he wasn't doing what he quite obviously was doing' while the other just seemed to accept he'd been caught and gave a sort of gallic shrug*

* I have no reason to suspect he was actually French though.

Late October on the Meanwood trail, north Leeds. Converted van, crusty style parked up, campfire going, no one in sight. Hundred yards along, in a dip, big pentangle marked up and three scantily clad Wicca girls dancing around.

I'd rather yours than mine to be honest.

I found a man choking* in the middle of the woods one day

* I think he was choking. His friend was standing behind him doing what I assume to be the Heimlich manoeuvre, and the recipient of the service seemed to be grunting quite loudly at every thrust. It all seemed in control so i took another path and carried on.

Still not sure why both their trousers had fallen down though. Does that often happen during vigorous first aid?

When someone is choking I think you should reach into their mouth to clear any obstruction, maybe it was too far down and he had to try to push it out from the other side. Was he poking him from behind with a stick or rod of some sort?

Met a guy out with his girlfriend cycling and he asked if I had multitool with a knife on it. I said I did, I was apprehensive to give him it until he told me it was to cut off his girlfriends knickers that she was wearing under her cycling shorts (I presumed they were cutting in a bit)? To my surprise he just pulled her thong up above her cycling shorts and proceeded to cut away while chatting to me in a "matter of fact" type manner. The poor girl at this point was hiding her face in embarrassed going to her happy place I think. A few awkward moments later and I was on my way very bemused by the whole thing.

sherry - awesome !

Cos she fully couldn't stop and quickly take the ofending knickers off, I presume, Sherry? WTF??!!

Kangaroo hopping alongside trail, across trail, not spotting the barb-wire fence and "clothes lining" itself on it. Then again. Then working it out and hopping over and away...

Being warily eyed off by some emus as I go past. Then hearing some yells as they chased the folks behind - was quite amusing to watch, but not much fun for those chased, given emus can be vicious.

Coming down the trail after a trail build day, go over a little blind rollover to find a big Roo having a snooze in the run out! Not sure which one of us jumped up quicker or higher!

(I'm in Aus for anyone pondering emus or roos BTW...)

whilst on a moorland path with my son with sheep either side of us, all of a sudden the sheep ran towards us and created a circle around our bikes ! we were trapped ! well funny i thort they were going to eat us for thier lunch. hahhahaah

REALY! I thought Dartmoor had alsorts of wild animals roaming.

Many years ago in a farm near the kruger park, lifted the bike over a fence into what looked like an empty field and happily started peddaling across, the grass was above knee height, shortly after heard rumbling which grew louder and louder, I kept looking back over my shoulder but couldn't understand the noise, then suddenly I seen a head pop up out of the grass, then another and another, they had horns, turned out to be a hundred or so warthoggs penned in the field for hunting, turned out to be the fastest sprint of my life, thing is I had to go into another field to get away, but I never did find out what was in it 😛

Two large naked men in a Fiat Panda by the mast in Wentwood 😯

Rolling round a corner to see a field of kangeroos in the half-light of dusk (it was by Whipsnade Wildlife Park)

Riding with a badger running parallel at the edge of my light beam on a solo night ride - very strange hearing this thundering animal a few metres from you, but only catching occasional shadowy glimpses of it.

Whilst guiding in Spain, leading a nice middle-aged lady by a Seat parked off a track in a field - two heads popped up as we passed by.

Also while in Spain, frequently seeing the Spanish Red Arrows performing manouvres - they were based a few miles down the road.

While guiding in Grenada, riding past a drunken knife fight (it should be pointed out that a knife fight in Grenada involves machetes, not flick knives)

While guiding in Austria, leading a group of 14-18 yr old lads to a watering trough, only to find a gorgeous red-head sunbathing topless next to it. After greeting her with a cheerful 'guten tag!' she wished me the same, smiled and continued sunning herself belly-up while I tried to herd the group a few meters back, so that while their eyes were hanging out in stalks at least they couldn't at least touch.

There's more, but I really should do some work.

Oi Pimp! You can't say that without providing your mates with photos!

Chasing kangaroos down the singletrack in the woods near Castlemaine, Victoria with LondonScot (formally of this forum)

Joining the Blazin' Saddles shop ride one week a few years ago when I was working in the area and watching as a group of 20 or so lit-up mtbs descended on a car-park containing a single small car with steamed up wiindows and a young lady walking back to the car whilst pulling up her jeans. The occupant of the car was a grinning young man 🙂

this:

[url= http://farm1.static.flickr.com/214/455293898_d7df8209c6.jp g" target="_blank">http://farm1.static.flickr.com/214/455293898_d7df8209c6.jp g"/> [/img][/url]
[url= http://www.flickr.com/photos/pimpmasterjazz/455293898/ ]Mike follows James' 'Buttocks or Bust' lead[/url] by [url= http://www.flickr.com/people/pimpmasterjazz/ ]Pimpmaster Jazz[/url], on Flickr

If only I'd remembered this one yesterday...a Harrier jump jet, a few bowser/engineer type vehicles and some suprised looking RAF lads in a firebreak between two woods on Stanford Common. Apparently it wasn't that uncommon in the early 90s!

This was quite amusing:

[img] [/img]

Above La Manga Club in Spain.

[url= http://www.flickr.com/photos/pimpmasterjazz/2451033387/in/photostream/ ]We believe he was German.[/url]

whilst guiding over summer int he alps i can around the corner of a barn to see a woman preparing to take a load in her face. was funnier when the rest of the group came hurtling down behind me.

plenty of steamed up cars on night rides.

a group of cottaging men in the woods local to where i was living. i rode quite quickly that evening.

lots of encounters with ladies having a wee.

never anything x-files strange.

Lots of snakes too - warming up on tracks and roads in Greece and Croatia during Spring, and this lil' beaut of an adder in the North Downs:

[img] [/img]

[url= http://dairyofanineptmountainbiker.blogspot.com/2010/05/my-eyes-my-eyes-rinse-them-in-bleach.html ]5th Paragraph from the end.[/url]

If only I'd remembered this one yesterday...a Harrier jump jet, a few bowser/engineer type vehicles and some suprised looking RAF lads in a firebreak between two woods on Stanford Common. Apparently it wasn't that uncommon in the early 90s!

That won't be happening anymore... 🙁

Riding the Hampshire coast path near Barton on Sea on a sunny evening in the mid 90s. I came over a rise and saw a man in T shirt and shorts striding purposefully along the cliff tops playing a set of bagpipes.

A few months ago in some local woodland at night I disturbed a badger which ran off over a little ridge and then turned and popped it's head back up over the ridge to see what I was all about.

Following an owl through overgrown singletrack last summer.

Cycling along Skyline trail in Afan over the summer, with my mate a few meteres behind. To the left of me I noticed a guy squatting in a field. 2nd glance, I saw his trousers down (must be have got caught short on a walk I thought), 3rd glance and I a number of sheep dispersing from his vicinity!! It dawned on me, after the 3 glances that this must have been one of the infamous welsh sheep sh*ggers 😆 My mate caught up and we both were in hysterics!

Someone mentioned badgers earlier, not too long ago, ona local night ride, I chased for quite a few meters a badger. I'd never seen one so close before. I slowed down to give him some chance to escape 😉 I've also been almost touching distance to a number of deer.

one of the infamous welsh sheep sh*ggers

I've also been almost touching distance to a number of deer

I wouldn't take the moral highground if i were you!!

I managed to refrain from touching the deer, it was near the end of the ride and I'd have been a disappointment 🙂

Is it just me that has never seen a person in a compromised position in my years on night riding?

I raced a hare along the edge of a field downhill on the SDW once. That was pretty quick too.

I've never seen anyone in a compromising situation either...although I've seen a few couples with camera looking sheepish when I went past. But that might have been my active imagination.

Is it just me that has never seen a person in a compromised position in my years on night riding?

I never have, although I know the spots to avoid at my local woods for that. They keep themselves to a certain area between the road and carpark - it does have some trails but it's not worth the risk.

I once did have to squeeze by a small car that had drive up a trail containing two young folk at it, although I did not see the specifics, just a couple of embarassed faces 🙂

Langy, your guess is as good as mine! We were on a sustrans cycle path on a Sunday afternoon, so I think he/she thought it was the best option, who knows?

An old lady approx 80 squatting down for a pee on a bridle way just where it joins a road. And her man stood next to her on watch, not very well.

I've seen some strange things whilst riding my bike around Bolton.
One time I was explaining to an out of town friend that there a common trail side occurrence of condoms in certain 'scenic locations'. Just so he was aware... little did I know we were to see what we saw that day.
At the summit of winter hill there was a parked car, some lad in a ford fiesta had a blond in his lap - enough said there.... he gave us a massive smile and a thumbs up (the lass never came up for air).

Same ride, bit later on, we rode through a car park in Rivington (yes [i]that[/i] car park)... my out of town friend enjoyed the extra entertainment and now knew about dogging!

I have also seen a pimp and some of his clients 'working' in parked up cars on the road out of Belmont up past the blue lagoon. The pimp was not happy at us larking around the cars checking out the girls (generally of foreign origin)...

never been night riding up there, darnt! lol

I once saw a guy wearing a night robe, chasing a pet chicken 😯
calling it by it's name 😆