Squirty cream , is ...
 

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[Closed] Squirty cream , is there anything worse to be served in a restaurant ?

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As above , just had nice meal out , Lemon Tart for dessert and it comes accompanied by a mound of squirty cream . Totally ruined the Lemon Tart for me and was wondering what others had had which had the same effect . Sensible answers only please .


 
Posted : 02/04/2014 9:22 pm
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Chips that have come from a freezer bag. My pet hate.

Well, one of them....


 
Posted : 02/04/2014 9:24 pm
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I once ordered an espresso which turned out to be lots of Nescafé and a little bit of water (confirmed by the girl serving us after I suggested the coffee was a bit rank). I don't mind the odd cup of Nescafé, but 5 spoonfuls in 50ml of water is pushing it a bit 🙂


 
Posted : 02/04/2014 9:25 pm
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Smash instead of mash potatoes. Disgusting!


 
Posted : 02/04/2014 9:28 pm
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Squirty cream should be only ever licked off in the bedroom. Only sensible option.


 
Posted : 02/04/2014 9:29 pm
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Cheese straight from the fridge.


 
Posted : 02/04/2014 9:30 pm
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A sprig of parsley as 'garnish'


 
Posted : 02/04/2014 9:34 pm
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Sangria with tinned mixed fruit.
Spanish omelette with chips in it!
Both served in Fuerteventura in Spanish run/ owned restaurants.


 
Posted : 02/04/2014 9:41 pm
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Chips in anything like a coal scuttle/flower pot/bucket etc.
Just stick em on the plate!


 
Posted : 02/04/2014 9:45 pm
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"Fries" instead of chips. Love chips, me. Proper chips mind.


 
Posted : 02/04/2014 9:46 pm
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Squirty cream should be only ever licked off in the bedroom. Only sensible option.

have you had a rib removed so you can do that?


 
Posted : 02/04/2014 9:47 pm
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Grapes without grape scissors.


 
Posted : 02/04/2014 9:49 pm
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Tinned heinz mac and cheese - decanted into a dish and served as chefs own....
spean bridge hotel im looking at you !


 
Posted : 02/04/2014 9:50 pm
 pb2
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squeezey cream wins hands down, yet another fffing useless American food tech product --- btw food and technology should not appear in same sentence, food equals natural, tech is man made and in the context of food usually synthetic crap !


 
Posted : 02/04/2014 9:51 pm
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grape scissors

Wow they really exist- I googled 😳
Every day is a school day


 
Posted : 02/04/2014 9:51 pm
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there's nothing I like more than the breakfast buffet when staying at a hotel... BUT when they serve up scrambled eggs made from powdered egg it makes me want to get punchy


 
Posted : 02/04/2014 10:02 pm
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Let's face it .. We really cannot make good coffee in this country..

'Chocolate sprinkles on top?'

NO NO NO


 
Posted : 02/04/2014 10:09 pm
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[i]Squirty cream should be only ever licked off in the bedroom. Only sensible option.[/i]
[i]have you had a rib removed so you can do that?[/i]

You obviously have had little sexual experience with another person, for you to even think that.


 
Posted : 02/04/2014 10:13 pm
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You obviously have had little sexual experience

I saw Eurotrash once - does that count?


 
Posted : 02/04/2014 10:20 pm
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Tea Bags.
Cheap crap sausages in a proper breakfast
But in general anything served by an establishment that has photo's of the food.


 
Posted : 02/04/2014 10:22 pm
 dux
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About 18 replies and we're off, haha. Good old STW


 
Posted : 02/04/2014 10:25 pm
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brakes - Member
Squirty cream should be only ever licked off in the bedroom. Only sensible option.
have you had a rib removed so you can do that?

You really don't have much imagination, do you?
Hmmmm, a cute, willing partner, several cans of spray cream...


 
Posted : 02/04/2014 10:29 pm
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are you flirting with me?


 
Posted : 02/04/2014 10:35 pm
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Brakes, no-one's ever, ever gonna flirt with you till you know the proper secret of squirty cream.
& No, Eurotrash does not count.


 
Posted : 02/04/2014 10:47 pm
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Crab curry that turns out to be a dismembered crustacean with hot sauce on it, very difficult eat - especially when crackers and crab fork aren't provided!


 
Posted : 02/04/2014 10:51 pm
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are you flirting with me?

Flirty Cream?


 
Posted : 02/04/2014 10:53 pm
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Squirty Flirty Cream.

Dirty too.


 
Posted : 02/04/2014 10:54 pm
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spean bridge hotel im looking at you !

Oh no don't ruin this for me, I think the takeaway there is fantastic.


 
Posted : 02/04/2014 10:57 pm
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grape scissors

Paging Chewkw


 
Posted : 02/04/2014 11:00 pm
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cheap sausages /make/ a proper breakfast.

Guilty pleasure of mine.


 
Posted : 03/04/2014 12:54 am
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Chef
Ramsey [s]Neil - Member[/s] has spoken. Lolling at Brakes 😀


 
Posted : 03/04/2014 1:02 am
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Bought an "Irish coffee" once, well disappointed when it arrived with squirt cream floating on the top.

I remember when squirmy cream first came out, even the cat didn't much like it!

Worse thing in a restaurant to be served, I'd have to go for tinned fruit when you expected fresh,


 
Posted : 03/04/2014 1:21 am
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Chips that have come from a freezer bag. My pet hate.

The Ivy uses McCain.


 
Posted : 03/04/2014 2:36 am
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Spaghetti in a chow mein, rather than noodles.


 
Posted : 03/04/2014 4:35 am
 LoCo
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Squeeze/aerosol cheese.


 
Posted : 03/04/2014 6:15 am
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Slightly off topic but what about "home made" stuff in a restaurant. Who's home was it made in? Unless somebody lives in the factory/resturant then I doubt it was home made


 
Posted : 03/04/2014 8:17 am
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My most horrendous food experiences have all taken place in Peterhead. A colleague and I were staying at what was, at that time, the "best" hotel in town. At dinner, she ordered the veggie option. I don't recall how it was described on the menu, but what arrived was a frozen supermarket quiche served on top of a pile of Heinz spaghetti hoops. Best of all, it arrived at the table under a cloche, which the server whipped off with a flourish: tah-daaaaah!

I once ordered an espresso which turned out to be lots of Nescafé and a little bit of water (confirmed by the girl serving us after I suggested the coffee was a bit rank). I don't mind the odd cup of Nescafé, but 5 spoonfuls in 50ml of water is pushing it a bit

Oh, man. This reminds me of another Peterhead experience. I made the mistake of ordering a cappuccino. What I got was one of those Nescafe cappuccino sachets, topped up with about a litre of boiling water. Looooooooooooooxury.


 
Posted : 03/04/2014 9:22 am
 tomd
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My most horrendous food experiences have all taken place in Peterhead. A colleague and I were staying at what was, at that time, the "best" hotel in town.

Not the Waterside Inn by any chance!?


 
Posted : 03/04/2014 9:25 am
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Slightly off topic but what about "home made" stuff in a restaurant. Who's home was it made in? Unless somebody lives in the factory/resturant then I doubt it was home made

Home made = Made from ingredients on the premises
Home cooked = Heated up on the premises but made elsewhere.

Complaining that the chef who made the food doesn't live at the restaurant is hopeless pedantry.


 
Posted : 03/04/2014 9:36 am
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Not the Waterside Inn by any chance!?

Heh heh...yeah, that's the one. Sampled its delights yourself have you?

Another fine dining experience in Peterhead, this time in the local prison, which at that time was basically a medieval leper-colony for sex offenders. When lunch time came around, my colleagues and I were served a platter of thoroughly depressing sandwiches, lovingly prepared by the jail's residents. Now, when working with such populations, you have to resist making negative assumptions, but we all glanced at each other and it was clear that we were all hoping the same thing, i.e. that nothing [i]too[/i] exotic had been added to the ingredients list.


 
Posted : 03/04/2014 9:47 am
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squirty cream

In the restaurants defence, could it have been the fresh stuff done with a gas cannister rather than pasteruised "Anchor cream substitute". The former's forgivable in a busy kitchen, fresh whipped cream is a PITA, but supermarket crap isn't forgivable under any circumstances.


 
Posted : 03/04/2014 10:02 am
 emsz
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Re heated rolls or shop bought bread

Without being a snob if a chef can't make bread.... Cafes are seperate though, if I'm going to a cafe for eggs and chips I expect 2 slices of thick white.

That whole whipped cream thing...can I suggest Nutella? 😈


 
Posted : 03/04/2014 10:03 am
 tomd
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Heh heh...yeah, that's the one. Sampled its delights yourself have you?

Yes it's an absolute dump. Mercifully we're now banned from staying there for work. I kind of admire their business sense though - they have invested zero in the place since it was built in the 70s but can still charge £100+ a night because of the demand in that area. They're also guaranteed a few weeks a year when it will be jammed out when there's a problem flying people to the rigs.


 
Posted : 03/04/2014 10:03 am
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Does anyone remember the squirty chocolate mousse? My brother and his friends had an outdoor food fight with the stuff, and it killed large areas of the lawn...


 
Posted : 03/04/2014 10:03 am
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Frozen packet veg dining in a reatsurant attached to a market garden !
Best one ever was during a expedition race, came across a 'cafe', woo hoo it had a decent coffee machine so ordered a coffee. Watched in slow motion awe as the lady filled the group head with cheap Nescafe powder then ran the water from the machine through it into a cup. The piece de resistance was then adding skimmed milk ! To be fair it was rural Tasmania but still ....


 
Posted : 03/04/2014 10:15 am
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Nothing wrong with a bit of squirty cream at times, both in a restaurant and at home... Depends on the restaurant, though - I wouldn't expect it at some upmarket place.

Stuff made using frozen veg is a pet hate, when you see all the perfect little cubes of watery carrot you just know it's not been cooked fresh.


 
Posted : 03/04/2014 10:34 am
 tomd
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One thing that gets me is the wild and varied intepretations of "fresh seasonal vegetables".

Fresh seasonal vegetables are not potatoes (fried) or a few dried out frozen peas.


 
Posted : 03/04/2014 10:41 am
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thisisnotaspoon - Member
squirty cream
In the restaurants defence, could it have been the fresh stuff done with a gas cannister rather than pasteruised "Anchor cream substitute". The former's forgivable in a busy kitchen, fresh whipped cream is a PITA, but supermarket crap isn't forgivable under any circumstances.

POSTED 1 HOUR AGO #

The difference is pretty obvious , even I can tell .


 
Posted : 03/04/2014 11:34 am
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But in general anything served by an establishment that has photo's of the food.
This is my rule of thumb. Any photos of the food and we don't go there.

emsz - completely agree with you about having decent bread. Even a toastie should be served with nice crusty home-made bread.

Another pet hate is iceberg lettuce - yuk!


 
Posted : 03/04/2014 11:45 am
 D0NK
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As above , just had nice meal out , Lemon Tart for dessert and it comes accompanied by a mound of squirty cream
You didn't specify? Since the invention of squirty cream at every family meal out I've had to listen to my dad ask "is that proper pouring cream with the apple pie/whatever?" when the dessert menu came out.

I now do the same
I am becoming my dad
🙄


 
Posted : 03/04/2014 11:55 am
 murf
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Warm, flat juice served straight from the 2 litre bottle.
Reasonable looking Chinese restaurant too!


 
Posted : 03/04/2014 12:29 pm
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[i]Chips that have come from a freezer bag. My pet hate.[/i]
I prefer frozen chips that are deep fried (pub chips) over chip shop chips. Oven chips are evil though.
The liquid cheese that you get with cinema nachos are the most artificial thing I've ever tasted.


 
Posted : 03/04/2014 12:39 pm
 gogg
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Bull Semen, can't stand it myself.


 
Posted : 03/04/2014 1:09 pm
 gazc
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we once ate out at a decent looking place in vienna whilst on a trip. unfortunately my 'chefs special' turned out to be funny shaped pasta mixed with baked beans, hot dog sausages, meatballs, chopped up PEK tinned pork and wierd squirmy things (mushrooms???) all lathered up in a red coloured syrup (possibly tomato but can't be sure). at the time i wish i'd had the same as my girlfriend - schnitzel which looked like dried up roadkill!


 
Posted : 03/04/2014 2:06 pm
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I quite like squirty cream. Best served squirted directly into the mouth. (Rule 34?)

Will I die?


 
Posted : 03/04/2014 4:33 pm
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[quote=coolhandluke ]Worse thing in a restaurant to be served, I'd have to go for tinned fruit when you expected fresh,

Tinned fruit with squirty cream FTW


 
Posted : 03/04/2014 4:40 pm

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