Spurious nicknames
 

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Spurious nicknames

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I'm Tom.  I acquired Wombat at school when it was discovered that Dante Gabriel Rossetti had a pet wombat called Tom.

Don't get used much apart from here


 
Posted : 03/01/2025 6:30 pm
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A couple from school

Our assistant head and one of the science teachers was called Nipper. Yep you guessed it, he was very small. Quite weird being a second year at secondary and towering over your teacher.

English teacher was called Monty, partly I think related to the military, he was head of the CCF cadets. I was friends with his son (both his sons attended that school) after I left school.

My house teacher was Cholor- had to be said in a sort of loud and forced way, his name was Mr Batchelor.

German teacher was Penfold, he had a slight resemblance to said character from Danger Mouse.

I vaguely remember we made the noise of a cracking whip about one teacher, perhaps insinuating he was into bondage, never enquired further on that.

In fact noises were used more than nick names at that school I think.

I may have posted this before but the funniest one I heard from my brother in law in the last few years was a person at his work place is known as Just eat , let's just say he likes his food I believe and is called Justin. I shouldn't find it funny as I'm not slim myself but I couldn't help but laugh quite loudly . Nick names can be bloody cruel sometimes.


 
Posted : 03/01/2025 7:54 pm
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We also had Trip Hazard for the shortest one of the team.


 
Posted : 03/01/2025 9:58 pm
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I've a mate called Pat who's a fireman. I call him Postman Sam.


 
Posted : 03/01/2025 10:51 pm
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And there was Byron Byron Byron (said fast).

On the first day of school a teacher asked his name and he said Byron. Teacher said but what's your first name and he said Byron. She said Byron Byron? It wasn't, but we decided it would be all of his names.


 
Posted : 03/01/2025 10:58 pm
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Many from school would get me a ban if used on here now different times ! But 2 spring to mind .batpig old male French teacher always wore academic gown and had small upturned nose. Gnasher..a classmate with larger than average teeth . Concord  classmate with larger than average nose  could go on but they get really bad

kids can be nasty bastards


 
Posted : 04/01/2025 9:55 am
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Surprised nobody's told the Bob the Bridgebuilder joke yet.


 
Posted : 04/01/2025 10:27 am
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I sing in a professional ensemble. We sing a pretty eclectic mix of music from sublime harmony stuff to arrangements of classics, but one of the tenors can’t stand still. I can’t normally see him when we’re on stage, but was watching a video of one of our shows and realised he was actually doing actions and more or less dancing to various numbers.   I’ve started calling him “Bez”


 
Posted : 04/01/2025 10:32 am
binners and binners reacted
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We still trying to out do each other with made up names? Noice.


 
Posted : 04/01/2025 10:38 am
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My English teacher Mr Richardson was called Peanuts

We had a geography teacher, Mr. Clark, called Clank. This became "Clank the ****" as he tended to walk around with one hand thrust suspiciously deeply into his trouser pocket.


 
Posted : 04/01/2025 12:15 pm
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Oh, we had an electrician named Raymond at an old workplace. Known as Ray of Light.

Also not spurious, I'm ruining my own thread.


 
Posted : 04/01/2025 12:45 pm
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More non-spurious teacher names.

Staple Neck - teacher with, you guessed it, a pock marked neck.

Monotone Jim.

Cough Cough.

Doris. Reminded us of Doris Ewell from Please Sir.


 
Posted : 04/01/2025 1:49 pm
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Guy I know from school is known as Empty-head.

He was shot in the eye as a kid,  and the airgun pellet apparently had to be removed from his brain. Aside from losing the sight in one eye, he made a full recovery and maintained his less than average academic career  .. on returning to school a less than sympathetic teacher commented in front of the class that he had avoided permanent brain damage because he had an empty head.


 
Posted : 04/01/2025 6:27 pm
 ton
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where to start.......

lad i worked with.  Blackdog.  his was always blacker than yours.

lads i played rugby with.    Baba, he hate a nugget of horse pooh for a bet. Bolly, because his head was harder then a ball bearing.

pot knob, because his todger was longer than a pint pot.

2 mates from school. big pie and little pie. surname is Beilby.

my nickname at school was fenella.   refering to my prominent chin.


 
Posted : 04/01/2025 11:17 pm
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Friend from school was known as 'Gramps' - His name was Paul Arnold, which became PA, which became Grandpa, hence Gramps

We had a science teacher known as 'Moylab' - he had a very Johnathan Ross voice and used to bellow 'Get out of moi lab!' if you dared walk in before lesson time...

There were other teachers: Plug, Beppo etc who were all 1970s comic book-related...


 
Posted : 05/01/2025 12:11 pm
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A lad at uni, Richard, was known as Biscuit. It was long after I'd left and lost contact that it suddenly dawned on me completely out the blue that it was because his name was Rich T.


 
Posted : 05/01/2025 12:22 pm
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I also knew a lad at Uni called Richard and nicknamed Biscuit. But he wasn't Rich T; his was because as a naive 18 year old an american exchange student invited him back to hers for coffee and he excitedly agreed and said that he'd go back to his room first as his Mum had sent him off to Uni with a big tin of biscuits to help him make new friends.

'Trish' was hoping to get something in her that night, but it wasn't milk chocolate assortment, and the nickname stuck.......


 
Posted : 05/01/2025 1:00 pm
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A lad I went to school with was known as Skoda. Apparently his dad had dropped him off back in primary school one day and kids being cruel, one mocked him for driving a Skoda (late 80's). The name stuck despite the car not being a Skoda at all


 
Posted : 05/01/2025 1:43 pm
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as a naive 18 year old an american exchange student invited him back to hers for coffee

That's exactly the sort of thing I'd have done.

One time in a nightclub, a really hot girl started dancing with me. This never happens. She leaned over and whispered sultrily into my ear, "do you have a girlfriend?" Totally misreading the situation I replied "yes, I'll go get her!" and was mystified that she'd gone when I returned.


 
Posted : 05/01/2025 1:52 pm
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Used to work with a guy known at Topper for fairly obvious reasons. He was also called "big job" because he'd only ever do one project at a time and when challenged on it, his response was "yep, but it's a big one"

Used to know a guy at school called Dave Etherington. Also heard people referencing someone called Pringle who I didn't know. Few years later, I found out they were one and the same. He was nicknamed after the golf jumpers he wore.


 
Posted : 05/01/2025 2:42 pm
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