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Need something with the look and consistency of your average man juice....
I'll explain later.
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How much do you need?
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Energy gel is, I'm told, similar consistency
Wallpaper paste.
Cascamite wood adhesive.
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Sanex Dermo shower gel. Or make your own.
Seriously though, what is going on with that Sanex. I just spurted a little onto my hand just to check it out and it gave me deja vu.
Thought you were talking about whales. This topic isn't any better
After looking at that whale eating a kebab outside Wearherspoons last night there won't be anything resembling man juice of any description....
Except maybe that really stringy bile sick you get after the last contents of your stomach have emptied themselves over the high street. :puke:
Disappointed. Thought you'd been to the seaside.
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Cornflour and water are your friends here, I reckon.
Nope, watered down Ready Break..
Salad dressing.
Homemade (natch) and adjust the solids to oil/vinegar ratio for perfect consistency.
Some of you guys need to see a doctor.
Someone here has ridden a whale and done a big Huck of it... Can't remember who it was now
The Japanese generally eat it lightly steamed. Can't say it was the most pleasant gastronomic experience ever, but we eat eggs (of many species) happily enough, so I suppose it's just a matter of custom.
Egg white and water/cornflour mix. Add yolk if you're feeling ill.
piña colada cocktail mix (those just add booze pouches) is, I was once told, what the pros use when they need more than they can produce for a shot.
cloudnine - Member
Someone here has ridden a whale and done a big Huck of it... Can't remember who it was now
Shirley that was surfmat
I'll explain later.
It's later.....explain!
OP - I'm genuinely struggling to imagine what innocent, legitimate use anyone could have for a substance which is seemin' to be semen.
Did mrsfry put you up to this?
Prehaps the op is faking it for some reason?
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piña colada cocktail mix (those just add booze pouches) is, I was once told, what the pros use when they need more than they can produce for a shot.
Well, at least it will taste fairly okay
Rachel
Salty carnation milk
Lumpy bisto
(appointment booked)
There was a TED talk on this the other week, apparently cornflour mix is what they use to simulate sperm.
It's in here somewhere:
I'll explain later.It's later.....explain!
It's later than later. I won't be satisfied until I get a happy ending to this mystery 😉
Well done Perchy, the most bizzare ending to a scooby doo mystery ever.
😀 Lol - Ripping a gimp mask off the janitor. "I would have got off , if it wasn't for you pesky kids"
I was thinking more like Cluedo....
Goo-do - It was Professor Plums in the bathroom with miss-scarlett.com on the Ipad 😉
How very dare you! I never put anything up his 'This'
(Slides under OPs bed in a huff)
<runs off to check out miss-scarlett.com>
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😯 😯 😯 😯
Use the real thing and claim the jazz mags on expenses?
"Slides under OPs bed in a huff"
*Googles what sort of clothing a huff is*
Sweetcorn relish without the sweetcorn.
Sorry...unable to assist...I don't do average in these matters...it is high quality stuff - one and done kind of stuff.
silly me, I thought you were looking for [url= http://www.amazon.co.uk/Natural-Harvest-collection-semen-based-recipes/dp/1481227041 ]semen based recipes[/url] 😯
cheers_drive -
Sweetcorn relish without the sweetcorn.
Would it still be a bit... [i]yellow[/i]?
Don't worry Hammyuk said that's normal. He's a doctor after all 🙂
You should let him examine you. He might learn a thing or two 😉
Sudocreme?
Mines like cologne, just splash it on your face.. neck, hair, ceiling, pillow and walls.
I'm not a gynaecologist but I'll have a good [s]lick[/s] look at it for you 😀
Fake chap sap?
Got to be pancake batter this time of year, surely?
Add sugar and lemon to taste.
Poppadoms? Well it's what my curtains are like
Boiled sago pearls.
Bump for an explanation from alpin?
Another bump because alpin's online.
Goddamn you alpin, Finish me off. This thread needs a happy ending!
It's a long [b]shot[/b] but did he get his [b]money[/b]'s worth?
perchypanther -
Ripping a gimp mask off the janitor.
Is my new favourite euphemism 😆
Okay, alpin needs to explain all. I’m not used to being left without satisfaction!
Rachel
Alpin's logged in,he'll be coming to the forum in a couple of minutes.
he'll be coming to the forum in a couple of minutes.
He might be faking it.
I suspect he came earlier and he's all spent.
Long story, but I stumbled across the bike of a friend of ours just outside my workshop.
Along with another friend (who is in Berlin) we want to wind him up and think he's got a secret admirer.
I've got a postcard to attach to his bike, written in Italian, singing the praises of his behind. It'll be signed off with "Giovanni",friend in the Berlin's nickname. The postcard will be attached to the brake lever with a cable tie so he can't ride off.
This should continue for a few days, each time upping the ante... A banana cable tied to his saddle (he's from East Germany), under which is another postcard...
One of the ideas was to jizz on his saddle.
It should cum to an end towards the end of the month.... Again a postcard, with a picture of me and the Berliner sitting on the wall opposite taken from the perspective of where his bike is locked up... And then go for a beer....
I am underwhelmed 🙁
Aaaah.... the old cable tie / post card / saddle spunk gambit.
Why didn't you just say so? 😉
Now that this has reached a climax I can relax.
Should we cuddle?
...and there Your Honour rests the case for the defence.
As if this
(he's from East Germany)
explains this
.A banana cable tied to his saddle
WTF is a "Banana Cable"?
And why would it be a sign of sexual interest?
If you want to up the antie
Lube up the end of the saddle and leave a empty poppers bottle close by 😉