Speed Dating - come...
 

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[Closed] Speed Dating - come on STW, do your best/worst

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as STW is my go to place for advise, i thought it'd be good to ask you all for some ideas for speed dating.

I'm attending an event later in week, 4 minute per lady.

I'm a natter box and go down war and peace route.

How can i shine within 4 minutes without interrogating the poor women?

I can't rely on my good looks cos I ain't got any...


 
Posted : 15/01/2018 5:13 pm
 Drac
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I'm attending an event later in week, 4 minute per lady.

That’s a lot of foreplay.


 
Posted : 15/01/2018 5:14 pm
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If her name's Louise, move on.


 
Posted : 15/01/2018 5:15 pm
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Is this thread google cached from 1995 ?

😉


 
Posted : 15/01/2018 5:15 pm
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Just lick your eyebrows then wink at her.


 
Posted : 15/01/2018 5:17 pm
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Get Simon to go for you. 🙂


 
Posted : 15/01/2018 5:18 pm
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Ask them if they do car finance?


 
Posted : 15/01/2018 5:18 pm
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Ask them about themselves rather than talk about yourself.

Next?


 
Posted : 15/01/2018 5:20 pm
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Next?

Don't say that.


 
Posted : 15/01/2018 5:21 pm
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[url= http://singletrackmag.com/forum/topic/hoofing-strong-tyres ]
Ask them what rubber for hard riding[/url].


 
Posted : 15/01/2018 5:22 pm
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Some nobblies?


 
Posted : 15/01/2018 5:28 pm
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60% of the time, being the strong silent type works everytime.


 
Posted : 15/01/2018 5:34 pm
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I hope they don't tell you to sLing your hook


 
Posted : 15/01/2018 6:22 pm
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Smile, ask them about themselves but make sure you say something about you as well. Avoid wearing beige 😀


 
Posted : 15/01/2018 6:43 pm
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Best advice has already been given. Ask about them? Alternatively just rant about your ex


 
Posted : 15/01/2018 7:09 pm
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Avoid wearing beige

Ah.


 
Posted : 15/01/2018 7:10 pm
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[quote=Moses ]Just lick your eyebrows then wink at her.

Handy advice for those with long tongues. I presume demonstrating ownership of a long tongue is a guaranteed way of pulling?


 
Posted : 15/01/2018 7:21 pm
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Just say “how’s about that then” whilst puffing on a massive cigar.


 
Posted : 15/01/2018 7:26 pm
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Call her Duchess.


 
Posted : 15/01/2018 7:28 pm
 Drac
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Call her Duchess.

How will she help?


 
Posted : 15/01/2018 7:30 pm
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Posted : 15/01/2018 7:33 pm
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#doyouevensingletracksister?


 
Posted : 15/01/2018 7:33 pm
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Worst advice I ever heard was a woman at work advising a single bloke to 'just be yourself' He was a little upset when I told him, 'don't do that, you are an idiot, be George Clooney.' You could try that.


 
Posted : 15/01/2018 8:07 pm
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If she can't fill 4 minutes with talking about herself then is she really female? Bonus if you get a vegan. You won't even have time to say hello.


 
Posted : 15/01/2018 8:48 pm
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Just make sure you say, "Every day to me is christmas day".


 
Posted : 15/01/2018 8:52 pm
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I suppose that's an improvement on just coming once a year.


 
Posted : 15/01/2018 9:07 pm
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The other thing you could do, of course, is lie transparently and outrageously. What have you got to lose?

A mate of mine and I once did this on holiday in Glastonbury with a girl who'd latched on to us and we were trying to get rid of. We told ever more outrageous tales of international incidents and derring do. It culminated with us telling her we worked doing secret missions for the European Space Agency. She invited us back to her place. We said we would, but we'd have to contact our team to install emergency panic buttons in her house first. She agreed. We stepped outside to "make a phone call" and ran for the hills.


 
Posted : 15/01/2018 9:15 pm
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Wear a T-Shirt with "This is what a Feminist looks like" on it.
Or your Newcastle shirt, with "Ginola" on the back.
Be playful. Say things like, "Some people call me a Psychopath, but I prefer the term Serial Killer".


 
Posted : 15/01/2018 9:33 pm
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I presume demonstrating ownership of a long tongue is a guaranteed way of pulling?

Only if you can breathe through your ears.


 
Posted : 15/01/2018 10:17 pm
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Start with. "Who's looking after the countries kitchens while all you chicks are here?"
Or, "So... How long have you been a female impersonator for?"

Then just go with the flow.


 
Posted : 16/01/2018 4:53 am
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Dress in a suit, take a pen and clipboard and pretend your conducting a job interview.


 
Posted : 16/01/2018 5:43 am
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Joking aside, let the lady do most of the talking.

I'm guessing a lot of men just want to talk about themselves and not much else.

Be original, mock the situation if your a good joker. It is a funny diffusion to be in and the women will think the same. If you can get a woman laugh it's a good start.

Be enthusiastic even with the ones you instantly don't click with. Good training for the next and its the decent thing to do anyway.

Good luck bud! 🙂


 
Posted : 16/01/2018 5:53 am
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Pay her a compliment, just make sure it’s not ‘nice tits’


 
Posted : 16/01/2018 7:35 am
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jonnyboi - Member
Pay her a compliment, just make sure it’s not ‘nice tits

This

And

Ask them about themselves rather than talk about yourself.

Be interested in what they have to say and try and figure out what their thing is, eg I can see you have great taste in shoes, or you seem very artistic.


 
Posted : 16/01/2018 7:51 am
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Didn't we meet on the Tuxedo Royale back in the day pet?


 
Posted : 16/01/2018 8:01 am
 keir
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if you like one of them, get one of the other blokes to run up to her, pull her hair and say "my mate fancies you"


 
Posted : 16/01/2018 8:09 am
 muzz
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Hi, I'm just off a three hour turbo training session in prep for a 200k gravel ride in April, if you want to get with me you need to be cool but importantly enjoy me cycling too. (Whilst fiddling with the sore that has came up on your gooch


 
Posted : 16/01/2018 8:48 am
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Just lick your eyebrows then wink at her.

Handy advice for those with long tongues. I presume demonstrating ownership of a long tongue is a guaranteed way of pulling?

This raises a good point. Try to avoid mansplaining jokes to her. You'll look like a d1ck.


 
Posted : 16/01/2018 9:14 am
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Wear a gold paperclip on your lapel and some orthopaedic shoes.

Take smelling salts to revive her when she swoons.


 
Posted : 16/01/2018 9:21 am
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Wear a gold paperclip on your lapel and some orthopaedic shoes.

Then if you get something wrong you can say "well, I stand corrected."


 
Posted : 16/01/2018 10:06 am
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Depends where it is being held, but probably a fair few of the attendees will be in the nearest bar just beforehand. Why not go in and have a more relaxed chat with a few of them??


 
Posted : 16/01/2018 10:39 am
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Why not go in and have a more relaxed chat with a few of them??

Make it a doubly awkward 4 mins?


 
Posted : 16/01/2018 10:41 am
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Surely if you can go to a bar and chat to women then the speed dating thing is kind of unnecessary


 
Posted : 16/01/2018 10:43 am
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[quote=jonnyboi ]Pay her a compliment, just make sure it’s not ‘nice tits’

What if the only good thing about her is her tits?


 
Posted : 16/01/2018 11:01 am
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What if the only good thing about her is her tits?

"That's a lovely top you are wearing"


 
Posted : 16/01/2018 11:23 am
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"That last bird sitting there had great tits ..lovely pins and reckons that she bangs like a barn door in the wind ..can you improve on that ?"

Well the thread title did say do you worst too .. 😆


 
Posted : 16/01/2018 11:42 am
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Surely if you can go to a bar and chat to women then the speed dating thing is kind of unnecessary

But the bar will have a lot of single women in it who are looking for a single man. It also gives you the ideal subject to start a conversation with.


 
Posted : 16/01/2018 1:12 pm
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You could always ask if she could recommend any car finance deals?

That'll be £500 for the advice please.


 
Posted : 16/01/2018 1:18 pm
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wiggles - Member

What if the only good thing about her is her tits?

"That's a lovely top you are wearing"


My what a lovely blouse you have on...


 
Posted : 16/01/2018 1:22 pm
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[quote=bigyinn ]That'll be £500 for the advice please.

+VAT


 
Posted : 16/01/2018 2:08 pm
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aracer - Member
bigyinn » That'll be £500 for the advice please.
+VAT

Thank God you picked up the ball on that one!


 
Posted : 16/01/2018 10:36 pm
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Does this blouse make me look VAT?


 
Posted : 16/01/2018 10:43 pm
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Bonus if you get a vegan.

But how would you know? 😆


 
Posted : 16/01/2018 10:43 pm
 core
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No hoofing.


 
Posted : 16/01/2018 10:45 pm
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Tell her it’s your first time 🙂

A colleague of mine met her now husband speed dating, at the risk of posting something inapproproate she was a lovely girl and absolutely gorgeous. Good luck !


 
Posted : 16/01/2018 11:18 pm
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It’s all in the preparation. Take your time and make a lot of effort getting ready. You can never have too many pens in your pocket. Novelty socks - The Simpson’s or similar. Keys attached to belt with a mini-karabiner, Bluetooth earpiece and finish off the look with a wallet chain.

Don’t worry about speaking - women will be climbing over each other purely based on the above.


 
Posted : 17/01/2018 12:35 am
 JoeG
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Wear this shirt (NSFW) 😆

[url= http://www.betterthanpants.com/white-penis-shirt-t-shirt.html#! ]http://www.betterthanpants.com/white-penis-shirt-t-shirt.html#![/url]


 
Posted : 17/01/2018 12:56 am
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JoeG - Member
Wear this shirt (NSFW)

http://www.betterthanpants.com/white-penis-shirt-t-shirt.html#!

Haha! Genius.

And dodgy! 😀


 
Posted : 17/01/2018 12:57 am
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you can order it with the "design" on the back 😯


 
Posted : 17/01/2018 1:00 am
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Make sure you let them know the clinic has given you the all clear.


 
Posted : 17/01/2018 1:01 am
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"You don't sweat much for a fat lass".


 
Posted : 17/01/2018 9:53 am
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Wear a gold paperclip on your lapel and some orthopaedic shoes.

Take smelling salts to revive her when she swoons.

WOOF!


 
Posted : 17/01/2018 9:58 am
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tell her you have 2 e bikes
that should do it


 
Posted : 17/01/2018 10:01 am
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What about dating on speed?

Could make things more interesting and make the conversation easier 😆


 
Posted : 17/01/2018 10:12 am
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JoeG - Member
Wear this shirt (NSFW)

http://www.betterthanpants.com/white-penis-shirt-t-shirt.html#!

I used to have that shirt, but had to stop wearing it as it gave me a dicky tummy.


 
Posted : 17/01/2018 10:47 am
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dicky tummy

Well played. 🙂


 
Posted : 17/01/2018 10:59 am

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