My 24 year old son lives with us, he runs his own business and earns good money. We charge him £250 rent a month which we think is cheap. He’s kicking off that it’s too dear , just wondered what other parents are charging?
If the kids are working then they get charged £500 a month (which we don't tell them we're putting in savings for them as a deposit for when they move out). £250 is an absolute steal.
I've recently seen rooms for rent in my area for 900 a month which shocked me, cheapest crappiest flats are over a 1000, electricity is typically 100+ a month i would say.. basically he's paying less than 10 a day. What you charge is your decision. But i'm hoping when it comes to it with my lad, to ask for a realistic amount, and perhaps save a chunk on his behalf..
Its way too easy to get used to the lifestyle when living with mum and dad, and not appreciating how expensive the real world is.
That being said, £250 a month if bringing home £1000 would be ok, but if he's doing decent money then i would say not so much
Tell him to look into how much living on his own costs. I'm assuming £250 covers more than just rent.
Then tell him "you're 25, get the flook out and get a life"
You're charging the same at £250 as what we charge our post-grad working son. Not popular but begrudgingly accepted (and this reminds me he hasn't paid yet this month). Be interesting to see other opinions on this as it caused a lot of debate when we were figuring an amount
I paid my parents 200 quid a month over 20 years ago when I was getting paid just above minimum wage. He doesn't realise how good he's got it. Maybe get him to ask his friends who don't live at home how much they pay.
As above, guessing that also includes utilities and food?
It's a hard lesson to learn, but he'll need to at some point.
A quick assessment of Gumtree ads will give you an idea of rental prices. Round here, rooms start at about 500.
If he's on proper money then that really needs to be reflected in his rent. It's a hard lesson but it's going to be a harder one when he finally leaves and sets up home.
Saving a chunk of what he pays you to give back is laudable
Tell him to jog on?
Cynical hat on. Whats he upto thats making twofiddy a problem?
As above if that includes food and bills it's an absolute bargain. Even if it doesn't it's still cheap.
I was paying £200 to my parents 30 years ago.
In the real world it would be 3-4 times that.
For me it depends, £250 isn't much but if otherwise he'd be using it to save for a deposit etc. and if you don't need the extra money then it seems a bit daft. If he just spending money on nights out and holidays etc. then charging him rent makes sense (whether or not you need the money, but if you don't then save it to help him out later when he grows up a bit and wants to move out).
£20/week in 1986 when I moved out, that’s £86/month, which on the BoE calculator, comes out at £252/month now, so thats about right. I was on basic workers pay then, so if he’s earning more, he’s taking the pish and should be voluntarily paying more.
Make it his problem to solve, not yours
ask him to give you a number, with reasoning and breakdown. To include food, council tax, utilities, insurance etc if you’re covering them. Some indication of savings for a longer term solution.
and evidence of where else he could live for cheaper.
if he’s running his own business this should be easy. Then put his bills up to match!
Also, I think saving it all to give back is a fabulous idea if you can possibly afford that , tbh
More context needed.
Why is he still at home? Is it to save up or he can't be arsed or are there reasons he still needs to live a home?
Is that Inc utilities, or food, or share of council tax/house insurance etc?
And what is 'money'? Minimum wage, living wage or more than that?
And what's he doing with the money he doesn't give to you - save it up & live like a monk or lots of toys and a car that's more than an A to B tool?
I paid my parents 200 quid a month over 20 years ago when I was getting paid just above minimum wage. He doesn't realise how good he's got it.
Make that thirty years ago here.
Thanks for the reply’s , basically it’s what we thought . He’s a clever lad , has his own gaming online business which is worldwide and he’s into crypto/investments . He doesn’t waste his money.
A pal had this issue with his son some years ago. He suggested that instead of the monthly board (very similar amount to you) he could go 1/4s on the house and bills...and "you'll own 1/4 of the house when we die".
'Ooh that sounds good...so what will I have to pay?'
"Well, there's the mortgage at £800 a month...so £200, Council tax at £160 a month, another £40, gas and leccy at £140 a month so £35, food at £500 a month, so another £125....what are we up to so far ? £400, broadband, sky, insurance blah blah...so c £500 a month....but in 30 years you'll own 1/4 of the house."
'Can I just carry on paying board please, dad?'
We were asking 10% of take home pay or thereabouts for everything all in - so last two were paying around £200per month, so £250 seems about right to us.
i never paid my parents anyything and wouldnt dream of charging mine, theyll be gone soon once they have houses etc and wife will miss them like crazy so im happy as we are for now
Rooms usually £100 a week round here, plus bills and food.
If he's saving to get his own place with the rest of his money, fair enough maybe. If he's spunking it on gaming or partying, he needs a wake up call.
Affordability tests on mortgages used to be a third of income? Prepare him for the real world and take a third of him. Save half. Give him a nice lump sum when he moves out.
he’s into crypto/investments
In the light of events across the pond this week, he's probably taken a bath. Our son is home due to long covid, no rent but he's expected to cook once a week and muck in with the chores (all of which he does without grumbling despite some days having less energy than a 5W LED).
i never paid my parents anyything and wouldnt dream of charging mine, theyll be gone soon once they have houses etc and wife will miss them like crazy so im happy as we are for now
Sometimes needs must & other times it's good to teach your children about the cost of daily life.
I was paying about £350 a month for my room/bills/food/laundry as a student. 30 years ago...
And that was even including the £100 a month discount from the rent as i collected the rent from the other tenants and kept the communal areas clean...
£250 is probably about a third of what he'd be paying in a shared house today.
i never paid my parents anyything and wouldnt dream of charging mine
Quite a lot of my mates had that, going straight to work at 16 or 18, living at home, shiny car, lots of clothes, no living expenses, moving out with a girlfriend or some mates after a few years, a few of them ended up back at home with £20-30-40k in debt, bankruptcy, a wardrobe full of clothes that they can't afford to go anywhere to wear... and in a few cases, a drug habit or malnutrition.
i never paid my parents anyything and wouldnt dream of charging mine, theyll be gone soon once they have houses etc and wife will miss them like crazy so im happy as we are for now
Sometimes needs must & other times it's good to teach your children about the cost of daily life.
It's a tricky one - you love them and want to support them, but sometimes that means opening them up to the harsh facts of life. We were always clear that if they weren't studying and were living at home, our two would be paying a chunk of income in rent, even if we saved it for them.
And for many families, there isn't a choice.
If the kids are working then they get charged £500 a month (which we don't tell them we're putting in savings for them as a deposit for when they move out). £250 is an absolute steal.
I'm confused by your logic. You're saying your kids get charged zero, so £250 is cheap?
Thanks for the reply’s , basically it’s what we thought . He’s a clever lad , has his own gaming online business which is worldwide and he’s into crypto/investments . He doesn’t waste his money.
so he can clearly afford £250 on life essentials!
£250/month is < £8.50 per day. I suspect you could easily quantify the showers, washing/drying clothes, food, computers running etc and get to that sort of daily cost of a 25 yo living in your house, before you even need to say and he should be paying a proportion of fixed overheads like insurance, council tax, heat/light etc.
If young people have not been brought up to expect to pay their way or with no appreciation of the true costs then I blame the parents 😉
You are basically subsidising his crypto gambling - if that’s what you want to do I’d negotiate a share of the upside!
wouldnt dream of charging mine, theyll be gone soon once they have houses etc and wife will miss them like crazy so im happy as we are for now
Eldest is in Halls at Uni in Edinburgh so a room with en suite and shared kitchen is 750 a month, no utilities to pay but has to buy and cook his own food. If you're near Edinburgh do you have any spare rooms 🙂
25! • Running his own business! • earning good money!
FFS what's wrong with kids nowadays - I couldn't wait to get my independence. I'd rather have had less free cash but live in my own place.
You need to downsize so there isn't a bedroom free for him! 😀
My daughter moved out at 17. She's currently home with us for a bit while she re-sets a few things, but I know she'll be off again as soon as she can.
i never paid my parents anyything and wouldnt dream of charging mine, theyll be gone soon once they have houses etc and wife will miss them like crazy so im happy as we are for now
If they’ve got a sweet deal like that they might not be gone that soon! My view would be that every extra month I subsidise my kids is probably two month extra I need to work to make my pension contributions… obviously some people already have a very comfortable retirement in hand so throwing money at kids is probably fine, but I wonder if anyone who’s kids were still at home in their late 20s paying nothing looks back in their 60s and wonders if they should have saved more so they could retire or at least wind down earlier.
"My view would be that every extra month I subsidise my kids is probably two month extra I need to work to make my pension contributions…"
Your pension above your kids? Maybe don't have kids..?
i never paid my parents anyything and wouldnt dream of charging mine, theyll be gone soon once they have houses etc and wife will miss them like crazy so im happy as we are for now
If they’ve got a sweet deal like that they might not be gone that soon! My view would be that every extra month I subsidise my kids is probably two month extra I need to work to make my pension contributions… obviously some people already have a very comfortable retirement in hand so throwing money at kids is probably fine, but I wonder if anyone who’s kids were still at home in their late 20s paying nothing looks back in their 60s and wonders if they should have saved more so they could retire or at least wind down earlier.
Maybe just me, but that's a pretty bizarre outlook on life.
My niece is paying 700 for a room in a shared house here in Bristol, which is pretty much the going rate. I'd say 250 is pretty token these days.
I was paying about £350 a month for my room/bills/food/laundry as a student. 30 years ago.
But that's a bit harsh! My uni accommodation in 1999 was £160 plus food. Ok, it was in Salford, but still...
I paid 1/3 of my imcome to my parents when living at home and working
I think that its right and proper to do so
I paid 1/3 of my imcome to my parents when living at home and working
I think that its right and proper to do so
As in so many ways it hugely depends on the child. Going back 40+ years as a lot of us will be doing, then moving out wasn't as expensive relatively as it is now.
I know my daughter (22) saves a lot - she's got ISA's, LISA's, Pension and is really careful with money. If she was out pissing it up the wall every weekend that skew our viewpoint massively.
Your pension above your kids? Maybe don't have kids..?
Adult kids, with (apparently) well paid work?
Not quite the same thing. If mine turn up on my doorstep with no money, no job, it's free. When they're earning full time money they can pay (part) of their way.
But that's a bit harsh!
Not really, it was a private rental. With my own room/kitchen. And only sharing a shower with 3 others, not the dozen or more i would have been in halls. (Which would have been terrible, converted offices from the 60's. So bugger all sound deadening and weird smells.)
Also 65 a week, not including food for an on campus location. Think it was 100 or 105 if you added the half board option. Only available in the on campus halls. Off campus halls were either 4 miles away (condemned buildings) or 10 miles away with a free bus. That only ran every 30 minutes.
The 350 was for everything i needed.
And i just googled the old offsite halls which were at the wrong end of a bus route, they've been closed/abandoned now. No one wanted to live there.
We charged £250 pm to cover additional costs (food mainly), but that was part of a plan to buy a home. Put the balance of market rental rate less £250 into a LISA and get them out into the world where they belong 🙂
We were asking 10% of take home pay or thereabouts for everything all in - so last two were paying around £200per month, so £250 seems about right to us.
That's what we do with our eldest.
Your pension above your kids? Maybe don't have kids..?
Hmmm. "Kids" in their late twenties. I think he's got a fair point. Not being able to retire in your 60s due to subsidising capable grown up adults does seem a bit messed up
I was paying £200 a month when I moved out in 1992. For some perspective I then bought a one bedroom house for £39k with a mortgage of around £250 a month. Seems like £200 a month for rent may be a bit out of date now in comparison...
Adult kids, with (apparently) well paid work?Not quite the same thing. If mine turn up on my doorstep with no money, no job, it's free. When they're earning full time money they can pay (part) of their way.
Exactly this. Post 18, when I was in full time education and during term time - it was free. When I was working, I paid. They were the rules of the house. It was never a lot, but enough to show willing.
I didnt know at the time but I got it all back years later when I was 27 and buying my first house, for which I am hugely, hugely grateful.
"My view would be that every extra month I subsidise my kids is probably two month extra I need to work to make my pension contributions…"
Your pension above your kids? Maybe don't have kids..?
No I very much have kids - 21 and 17 who I am supporting through education, I'm probably going to be supporting the younger one until 2030 at least. Every £ I give to them is a £ I can't pay into my pension which means I either have to work longer before retiring or have a poorer standard of retirement. All of us make these value judgements even if you are unaware of them - they might just be more carefully thought out if you actually do the maths rather than having some sort of emotional "my (adult) kids come first" response. I don't grudge supporting my kids at the moment, but if my child was living at home with enough surplus cash to be investing themselves (as the OP's son is in Crypto) then a serious conversation needs to be had about what sacrifices are being made by whom.
Maybe you have inherited wealth, a far better pension than I do (which is fairly typical of most private sector employees), or are too young to actually be thinking seriously about retirement and what adding £250/month extra to your pension for 5-10 years does (depending how young you start, how lucky the stock market is, whether you are a high rate tax payer - thats probably 60-150K more in your pension at retirement; for many that might be the difference between retiring at 60 and 65... that's quite a hit to take because you want your kids to have an easy start to adult life. Since we all have parents, I can certainly look at them glad they were able to retire before 65 rather than subsidised my 20's...
I hope you understand when your children do a cost analysis against the time spent wiping your arse and wiping the dribble of your chin in your old age -v- how much they could pay into their pension instead based on the hourly rate they should be charging you. And then decide you are too expensive to maintain! 😀💩
He’s a clever lad , has his own gaming online business which is worldwide and he’s into crypto/investments .
Is he running his online business from the family home, and does that alter how much people think he should be paying?
I don't know why any parent would use the broken UK housing market as a yardstick for charging their kid rent, that's damn cold if you ask me. (Nor do I understand why anyone that believes people need to be disciplined to live in a harsh world decided to create new people forced to live in it, but I'm fully aware that view puts me in a minority).
I would say, whatever if costs for him to live at home, charge him that (food, a share of the bills, some sort of fund for general and unexpected maintenance, a contribution to morgate payments). Otherwise, you are just using your kid as a source of passive income.
Your pension above your kids? Maybe don't have kids..?
I dont think the deal is to subsidise them indefinitely.
I hope you understand when your children do a cost analysis against the time spent wiping your arse and wiping the dribble of your chin in your old age -v- how much they could pay into their pension instead based on the hourly rate they should be charging you. And then decide you are too expensive to maintain! 😀💩
im quite comfortable with not expecting or even hoping either of my children are going to do that. However if I was thinking that my investment in my children was going to reap returns in old age I’m not sure I’d be trusting it to a 25 yr old with crypto investments who didn’t want to pay for running costs of the house!
I would say, whatever if costs for him to live at home, charge him that (food, a share of the bills, some sort of fund for general and unexpected maintenance, a contribution to morgate payments). Otherwise, you are just using your kid as a source of passive income.
I don’t think (m)any people have been advocating milking them for all you can but there are undoubtedly additional costs of having an extra 25yr old living in your house. At one extreme if that person stops you downsizing their cost impact could be quite significant.
(Nor do I understand why anyone that believes people need to be disciplined to live in a harsh world decided to create new people forced to live in it, but I'm fully aware that view puts me in a minority).
I had children specifically to pay future taxes to look after the people who were too selfish to have their own offspring to care for them 😉 there’s always a different way to spin your superiority!
We charge ours 25% of take home (the same as I was charged when I left education) and of that a third is put aside for them for when they move out, but they don't know that yet.
Even at those rates they have way more disposable income a month than either myself or my wife have, so it only seems fair.
Check his room for care home brochures 😉
TBH do you need to charge him anything ? its almost like saying you arent family, you are a tenant.
To not charge rent/board to an adult working child is a luxury many can't afford to contemplate.
Let's wind the clock forward 10 years and look at it another way. Your kids have a house, due to whatever circumstances, you are having to live with them while still working - would you expect to get away with not contributing anything?
To not charge rent/board to an adult working child is a luxury many can't afford to contemplate.
Let's wind the clock forward 10 years and look at it another way. Your kids have a house, due to whatever circumstances, you are having to live with them while still working - would you expect to get away with not contributing anything?
I think the important question is, do you charge them something that resembles the actual cost of having them there, or do you base it (however loosely) on market rent? Why anyone would do the latter with their kid I've no idea
(Nor do I understand why anyone that believes people need to be disciplined to live in a harsh world decided to create new people forced to live in it, but I'm fully aware that view puts me in a minority).
I had children specifically to pay future taxes to look after the people who were too selfish to have their own offspring to care for them 😉 there’s always a different way to spin your superiority!
I've no idea how you think superiority comes into this. I personally think making it through life is pretty damn tough, and that's the major reason I will not have children. Most others don't feel the same way and hence have no problem having kids, but some do seem to feel similarly and have kids nonetheless
Its way too cheap imo.
If you want you could put him on an expotential curve increase. So every year he sticks around at Hotel Mum&Dad its going to cost 30% more than last year.
Still take years to get to the level of renting a flat for himself , then put the rent into a ISA for him as a house deposit so he doesnt fall into the poverty trap of renting a house at more than the monthly cost of a mtg , as he cant get a 25% lump to put down,
He doesn’t waste his money.
He doesn't waste it on rent, at any rate.
What's his game plan? Is he saving up for a deposit on his own place, or is hoping to live off Bank Of Mum And/Or Dad until you die at which point he gets a free house? That would rather colour my decision.
I paid 25%, including any OT and had to show my mother my wage slip each week to prove I wasn't trying to short change her.
My son currently pays £30pw and has for the last couple of years. I didn't put it up this year as he's paying for driving lessons. The original plan was to save it for him in the future but cost of living rises put paid to that.
Can't remember exactly figures but I paid a percentage up to a certain maximum amount as my hours varied with the seasonality of the work and if I had a well paid month it was probably that I was mostly at work on site 😆
I saw all this 'rent' again as rental deposits and latterly legal fees when buying.
It was about budgeting and appreciating the benefit of a stocked kitchen as me being home nearly doubled the food bill.
All a far way off with many variables to say if I'd do the same for my offspring.
