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My wife is off to Australia for a fortnight and the kids are staying with me. Aged 8,7 and 2 1/2. Just looking for some advice about how to help the little one deal with mum not being around for a while. We've realised that it's important for Flo (the little one) to see mum leave and wave goodbye etc. rather than mum just disappear. Flo's very clingy natured and is going to be pretty distraught, but mum has been away for a night here and there in the past and I know I can help her calm down. The older two have been looking at the wall map with us and have a much better idea of the trip. They're old enough to understand, although I'm sure there'll moments of 'I want my mum..'. We've got Skype and have been thinking that every three days or so is probably okay. Question is this, is Flo seeing mum on Skype going to console her or upset her? Any experience anyone of a similar situation?
Kids are pretty resilient...just go with the Flo(w)!
A tip someone gave me once, doesn't always work, but frequently helps, is to acknowledge what they've said when they're missing mum, I.e. flo gets teary and says I'm missing mummy/ I want mummy!
You reply as a question; oh darling, you want mummy?/ you're missing Mummy?
This seems to work better than oh, she'll be back soon, or trying a distraction technique!
Good luck with it tho, take some time off work if you can!
Get a short term girlfriend with similar features to the wife?
Everyone's happy then....
DrP
+1 windsock's confirmation technique.
We left our 2.5 yr old and her sister 4 with my folks so we could get away for a few days skiing, we skyped a few times and we think it helped both them and mrsdt's.
Skype seems to work for us. A globe helps them understand just how far away it is, and let 5yr old understand why it was the middle of the night not day time (with the help of a torch as the sun)...
...and of course spoil them when mum is away so they think it is a treat, and you are superdad!
Worked away a couple of weeks once. Asked my son (about 6 or 7 at the time) if he missed me. He said he'd just forgotten I existed. 😥
Tell them she's died. Imagine their joy in a couple of weeks when she comes back!
(Assuming they're not familiar with zombies)
Both the wife and I away and kids with grandparents for a long weekend..? Decided not to FaceTime as probably easier to let her forget about us temporarily and have fun with grandparents.
Me moving to Australia a month before wife and daughter come down..? Will FaceTime every second day to talk lots. Have started explaining why I am going to be away and how she'll have to count up all the cuddles we are due and claim them back when I pick the two of them up. Definitely tell her what's happening and why. Mine is now looking forward to the 24 hours 'special time' with mummy on the flights down - shame mummy isn't...
That said, when we started talking about this, her main concern would be that I would be taking 'her' iPad with me...
Cougar - Moderator
Tell them she's died. Imagine their joy in a couple of weeks when she comes back!(Assuming they're not familiar with zombies)
😆 Post of the day! Surely Cougar's a top contender for an agony aunt spot at a national red top.
I'm way too ugly for a short term GF but some sound advice and thanks
We did a countdown calender and a picture a day which we sent to mum, though mine was just over 3years old. Wife was away for 36days on a training course. Skype and FaceTime every other day at Mum's insistence, think daughter would have been fine every week.
Mum is currently away again, little trickier this time. Skype/facetime not possible and unknown duration, job keeps delaying. We are doing picture a day and trying to keep her updated with expected timeframe. Kids are resilient though.
Good Luck
Nick
Some tops I find useful when left with the kids;
1) obtain a goodly supply of holy water, ash stakes and garlic
2) they can smell fear
3) yes their heads do go ALL the way round
4) do not under any circumstances allow them to repeat the same word, phrase or sentence in the mirror 5 times.
5) try and imagine that the trickle of urine down your leg when cornered by them is weakness leaving the body.
6) firearms are pointless, it simply annoys them
7) remember, to them ANYTHING is edible as long as it isn't green and on a plate
8) don't be frightened by long silences, be very afraid try and make it to your safe room
9) no room is wholly safe
10) whimpering and tears will only goad them on
Hope this helps =oD
Plagiarised and paraphrased from Mr Dave Turner's original
My advice would be to keep them busy and be organised. Being organised lowers the stress and makes things easier. Keeping busy will take their minds off mum being away.
Skype can help too so they can see/speak to her.
I'm way too ugly for a short term GF but some sound advice and thanks
Prostitute? Do we have to think of everything 🙄
gotta knock that one on the head ASAP start now...very clingy natured
😆Tell them she's died. Imagine their joy in a couple of weeks when she comes back!
Prostitute? Do we have to think of everything
Does every post on STW end up with coke & hookers??? 8)
Shame they aren't all boys.
We just turn the lounge into ThunderDome, that can last a few days entertainment-wise.
...very clingy natured
gotta knock that one on the head ASAP start nowYou can't just stop small kids from being clingy that's the way they are, you just have to adjust to it, they grow out of it if you treat them with love and care