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Drinking from the tap....
Drinking from the juice/milk carton...
Licking the jam spoon...
Not flushing afte a pee...
Making a sandwiche on the worktop..
Eating sandwiche while wandering around the house...
Not deploying air freshener after an "Eartha Kitt"
All the above are subject to serious repercussions in our house...
I hope that's all the problems you have.
All the above are subject to serious repercussions in our house…
Swoon....
Wiping your manhood on the curtains after a "it" wasn't appreciated. Relationship advisor suggested taking things to a "new high" in the bedroom at the last session - apparently this was not what they meant.
OP is this stuff you ban folk from doing or vice versa?
Where do you stand on Dutch ovens?
Not deploying air freshener after an “Eartha Kitt”
Assuming said 'Eartha' was deposited where it should have been, air freshener just makes things worse. Opening a window is surely a better option?
Don't you dare unplug my device from charging to borrow the charger seems to be an adolescent no-go zone in ours.
Walking around naked when the in-laws visit.
Discussing politics other than undying support for Corbyn when one of the in-laws is around.
Walking through the house with 'outdoor shoes' on.
Not putting a mug in the dishwasher after a cuppa.
Not replacing loo roll on holder when it runs out on you.
All the above are subject to serious repercussions in our house…
Is this a cry for help? Are you living in a domestic totalitarian hell and want to find a way out? What are the repercussions exactly? And what's the situation with washing up.
All the above are subject to serious repercussions in our house…
Christ, you must be a pain in the ass to live with (assuming you're the repercusser and not the repercussee).
I think the OP means he's the one suffering the repercussions.
I get moaned at for crapping in the downstairs loo as it's for guests. I get moaned at for crapping in the main bathroom as it's the kids' bathroom. I get moaned at for crapping in the en-suite as my wife uses it.
I guess I won't see how far I can push this until I crap in the sink.
Incorrect spelling of "sandwich" is a hanging offence around my place.
Drinking from the tap….
Drinking from the juice/milk carton…
Licking the jam spoon…
Not flushing afte a pee…
We have four cats, this happens every day!
I could add 'licking your arse on the chopping board' 😉
Leaving the bathroom door open after having a poo.
Asking questions or any form of discussion with any person having a poo.
Bathroom door to be locked whilst having a poo otherwise errant 2 yr olds are known to wander in and declare 'poo Daddy, wash hands Daddy' GET OUT!
I do 5 out of 7 (don't do the top 2), is that good?
Pissing in the sink (any sink, but quite partial to the kitchen one) and bike maintenance in the living room are both activities I enjoy doing to demonstrate my 'man of the house' status though I'm obviously not stupid enough to do either if there is even a vague chance of getting caught.
Where do you stand on Dutch ovens?
You usually don't stand. Badoom-tish. I'm here all week, folks... 😀
I am the offender in our house, not a cry for help just idle curiosity...
pissing in sinks and out of windows- proper working class that
I’m guilty of pretty much all of those to be honest. When do I receive my cushion?
Drinking from the tap….
Tis where the water comes from.
Drinking from the juice/milk carton…
If it’s the last bit it saves on using a glass
Licking the jam spoon…
It’s about to get washed. What type of mad man wouldn’t lick it?
Not flushing afte a pee…
Saves water
Making a sandwiche on the worktop..
Tis what they are for
Eating sandwiche while wandering around the house…
I have no viable reason to do so, but still do it
Not deploying air freshener after an “Eartha Kitt”
Air fresheners are the devil and one of the most ironically named products.
I feel for you OP. Sounds like you live with a control freak
Not keen on a Dutch Oven as physical damage can occur, prefer a "drive by" approach.
air freshner ?
i bet you have a magic tree hanging from the rear view in your car an all.
Chemical smell is not fresh !
Walking through the house with ‘outdoor shoes’ on.
Or indeed going outside with your slippers on!
Air fresheners are the devil and one of the most ironically named products.
I've pointed out to my current partner that they don't freshen the air, they just make it stink of shit and air freshener, the only smell worse than shit.
Wearing shoes. My and my girlfriend's dads both insist on it downstairs, tramps.
Wiping "it" on the curtains is my only sure-fire way of driving a woman wild in the bedroom!
Wiping it on the curtains?
One my my favourite threads on the whole internet.. I didn't even need to click to know what it was. Simply glorious.
prefer a “drive by” approach - I do believe the correct term for this is 'crop dusting'
We have kids (7 & 5), therefore all the above and worse happens on a regular basis.
Wiping it on the curtains....
Please gentleman can we not have some decorum and use the appropriate verb...
Zuffle
sorry, I seem to have walked into the Michael McIntyre thread.....
Eating sandwiche while wandering around the house…
I thought the whole idea was that they're portable
Taking shoes off when going to someone's house (or my own if the OH is in), why? Do you not plan on hoovering for another month?
It's like eating from a pan to avoid washing up a plate. I go to a restaurant, I keep my shoes on and I eat off a plate with cutlery. I get home, I keep my shoes on and I eat my dinner off a plate with cutlery. I don't leave the plates in the cupboard to avoid getting them dirty or wearing them out and I don't mind the minimal amount of dirt caused by clean shoes.
The exception that proves the rule is eating dinner from the pan in my shreddies. Or indulging in what the Finnish describe as kalsarikannit (or the more easily translatable pantsdrunk) . At that point I am not being classy, and I'm not wearing shoes.
My OH proudly shits with the door open and produces unflushable dangers to shipping which are left for the next user. She still likes to moan about my standards of behaviour ...... (and refuses to poo anywhere except home just in case).
Taking shoes off when going to someone’s house (or my own if the OH is in), why?
This like saying that it doesn't matter if you get shit on your trousers because you can have a shower anytime. Better to avoid having shit on your trousers in the first place then the shower is just for daily build up and stop it being spread anywhere.
This is before we even get to the point of kids playing on the floor or sitting on the floor etc.
Does noone else pee out the window? I do when someone is in the bathroom.
I guess living a couple of floors up in a tenement puts a different spin on it
Garde-loo baby!
Does noone else pee out the window?
I want to as the bedrooms poke out of the roof so there's a bit of slate (well, tiles) and some gutter below my bedroom windows... It faces out onto the well-lit street though so I haven't dared yet.
As for the kids bedroom, same arrangement but I'd be scared of them imitating and falling out, especially the girl.
We always take our shoes off when we go into the house, but I always say to guests (and mean it), not to worry. It does mean I do it by default when I visit anyone else's house.
Part of 'being comfortable' for me. I'm not one to take my shoes off in the office or in the car, or on (short) flights or anything though, that's a bit odd.
I’ve pointed out to my current partner that they don’t freshen the air, they just make it stink of shit and air freshener, the only smell worse than shit.
I'm so glad seemingly so many share my long held view. Absolutely make things worse. Bleugghhhh!
We have cream carpet on the stairs and upstairs, if you're going up there the shoes come off.
Otherwise we have a quite a liberal household thanks to my wife albeit I wasn't brought up that way. I insist on having my privacy in the bathroom though.
I was caught out by the MIL as I was sitting in my briefs working on Friday as she came upstairs to use the loo. Because I was on a con call earlier I didn't hear her arrive.
We have cream carpet on the stairs and upstairs, if you’re going up there the shoes come off.
Never understood cream carpet. It’s just begging to have stuff spilled on it. Current house has wooden floors. It’s great especially with having kids. Bought a stair carpet last year and just asked what was the toughest, easiest to clean one available and bought that 😀
This like saying that it doesn’t matter if you get shit on your trousers because you can have a shower anytime. Better to avoid having shit on your trousers in the first place then the shower is just for daily build up and stop it being spread anywhere.
This is before we even get to the point of kids playing on the floor or sitting on the floor etc.
Do you poo yourself when you go to a restaurant? The office, gym, train, pub, anywhere else with carpet?
How do kids (of the sitting on the floor age) cope at school / creche / nursery?
Flushing toilet with lid up. I long believed it was only necessary after a dump but no, there's urine particles to worry about as well. Still accidentally forget.
Lol urine particles. I hope you are taking the piss...
Do you poo yourself when you go to a restaurant? The office, gym, train, pub, anywhere else with carpet?
Analogies not your strong suit?
I grew up in a shoes on household but was converted to a more scandi way of living and am now an ardent shoes off kind of guy (even if I do enjoy pissing in the sink- there are limits).
Licking the jam spoon
Right in the night.
Never understood cream carpet
Me neither, stains far too easily when doing almost any kind of bike maintenance (when no-one else is in, obvs, nothing like working against the clock)
Making a sandwiche on the worktop..
Eating sandwiche while wandering around the house…
Where the hell else would you make a sandwich? Sitting on the loo? Sat wearing just your keks watching the telly? Lying in bed?
And a sandwich is a handmeal designed to be eaten on the move.
I’m still confused by the capitalisation of House. I thought it was a parliamentary thing being discussed on the OP.
Does noone else pee out the window?
Yikes! Had kind of forgotten about it until I read that, but I have, once - garage has a tin roof and it made a fearsome racket, not doing that again.
I tried weeing down the garden to show the foxes whose garden it is, but I think they just took it as a challenge.
I get moaned at for crapping in the downstairs loo as it’s for guests. I get moaned at for crapping in the main bathroom as it’s the kids’ bathroom. I get moaned at for crapping in the en-suite as my wife uses it.
I guess I won’t see how far I can push this until I crap in the sink.
Crap in the sink mate. Post the photos here for the bantz. You'll be lionised forever on here after your missus murders you with the nearest hatchet.
Where the hell else would you make a sandwich?
CZ, the missing word that would clarify this is sure to be "directly". As in making a sandwich directly on to the worktop. I am a fan of chopping boards, bread boards, and cheese boards, but have still made a sandwich directly on to the worktop once in my life before I realised it was much easier to sweep the debris in to the bin if you use a board of some kind.
HTH.
And a sandwich is a handmeal designed to be eaten on the move
A sandwich is a meal designed to be eaten whilst sitting on your arse playing cards without getting your hands greasy.
It’s very invention was because someone wanted to minimise the amount of movement required.
One my my favourite threads on the whole internet.. I didn’t even need to click to know what it was. Simply glorious.
Never seen that before, I've now bookmarked the mumsnet classics section and am gradually working my way through.
It's better entertainment than this place!!
That Penis Beaker thread is pure comedy gold!!
People are sooo weird!
Jam spoon? You must be posh 😄