[Closed] So you're lost in the wilderness...

the wilds are somewhere near Bridgend

how long would it take to walk to bridgend?

about 45 mins.

a week tops.

But why couldn't you just walk out to the nearest town?

You don't know Bridgend is there.

That's just a geographical pointer. 🙄

not too long........the smell wafting from all the chippy's and curry houses would drive me to surrender 😀

I dunno. Am I in the UK?

I'd like to think I could figure out how to trap rabbits, not sure how I'd manage foraging through the winter though.

How hard would it be to trap rabbits?

Would you strip bark from the copse of trees to form some kind of trap mechanism - or chase after the little blighters with a rock?

I dunno. Am I in the UK?

Yeah, you're near Bridgend - but you can't see Bridgend and you don't know it's there.

Do I have to fight off the Welsh mutant hordes while I am foraging and getting frisky with rabbits?

Given that there's no hope of rescue, that means no humans, no humans mean animals won't be scared of humans, so just walk up to the rabbit and kick its head in.

@Molgrips you planning on trapping them to pet and for company or to eat 😯 😉

I thought you were vegan, or is that somebody else on here?

Wait until night and head in the direction of the glow in the clouds?

vegans, aint they from outer space?

Do I get a book and luxury?

And Kirsty Young?

Wait until night and head in the direction of the glow in the clouds?

The Irish Sea has been described by Greenpeace as the most radioactively contaminated sea in the world with some "eight million litres of nuclear waste" discharged into it each day from Sellafield reprocessing plants, contaminating seawater, sediments and marine life

Wait until night and head in the direction of the glow in the clouds?

Nah, you're too far away for that.

As far as you're concerned, Bridgend might as well not exist.

So...

I figure use the knife to hack branches from the copse of trees, make arrows with those, then chew bark until it becomes a nice stringy mass, suitable for making into string, chop off a longer branch, BINGO, bow and arrow. Must be a nice cow or two hanging around. Those things could keep you going for ages.

I'm no Ray Mears but I reckon a couple of weeks shouldn't be a problem. 😀

As far as you're concerned, Bridgend might as well not exist.

As far as I'm concerned it doesn't. Where is it anyway? Somewhere tropical?

Can I ask how I got to the wildnerness? And just how do I plug in a record player to play me 8 discs anyway?

vegans, aint they from outer space?

Yeah. You've got to be careful of their poetry.

Pick up knife
Cut wood
Whittle Ray Mears from Cut Wood
Use Ray Mears

WIN!

Just to clarify, if your walking away from Bridgend, are you heading towards the Rhondda?

If so, i'd imagine this would have the potential to drastically increase the time within the 'death zone'

Fresh water = fish. I'd go fishing. I'm fairly sure I could lash up some sort of fishing tackle.
Autumn = Blackberries and apples

Sure a fire would be possible if I could find dry kindling

That's a start....

The fire might be tricky as it's raining and now source of flame other than some kind of Ray Mears thing with sticks and stringy bark.

Would there be any shops nearby? Perhaps for matches ro one of those disposable BBQs, although that might be tricky if you have no money.

I thought you were vegan

No, I think that's MidlandTrailquestGraham and a few others.

Spruce roots for cordage btw, they are ready made and should be available in the western Valleys and Vale of Glamorgan area.

The fire might be tricky as it's raining

Nah, just look for a burning car. Use the resources available to you.

Or failing that, the birch tree is your friend.

I think I'd get by just fine.
But within a few days I'd of sussed the area well enough to know there's civilisation nearby and worked out a way to utilise it.

Some Welsh water is a bit ropey, so I'd boil it off and filter it through charcoal before using, but as it rains loads, is make use of rain water.

Rabbits, I might make use of barbed wire to catch some, but would probably work on finding some wire and make a snare or two.

It's winter so a good supply of wood needs to be gathered and kept dry.

Foraging wouldn't be to bad, fungi, nuts, fruit can all be harvested.

However, its the UK,

Can I ask how I got to the wildnerness?

Actually, that's a pretty tragic story.

A gorgeous blonde pilot knocked on your office door this morning and asked if you'd like to see what the skies above Bridgend looked like. She nudged and she winked, so naturally you looked at your day's workload, shrugged, smiled enigmatically at the pilot and followed her outside, where her biplane was waiting. 'That's convenient', you thought as she gave you the eye. So off you flew. It seemed as if nothing could go wrong.

Suddenly, 1,500 feet above the Rondda, the blonde pilot coughed and said 'sweet cheeks I don't feel so good' before slumping down in her seat and drooling. With the plane nose-diving, you do what any red-blooded STWer would do - jump out of the plane and hope TJ wasn't right all along about the non-existence of God.

Fortunately, you landed on molgrips' rabbits. No harm done. All the equipment mentioned ^^^^ fell out of the plane, so the game's not quite lost.

As you were.

I think I'd get by just fine.
But within a few days I'd of sussed the area well enough to know there's civilisation nearby and worked out a way to utilise it.

Some Welsh water is a bit ropey, so I'd boil it off and filter it through charcoal before using, but as it rains loads, is make use of rain water.

Rabbits, I might make use of barbed wire to catch some, but would probably work on finding some wire and make a snare or two.

It's winter so a good supply of wood needs to be gathered and kept dry.

Foraging wouldn't be to bad, fungi, nuts, fruit can all be harvested.

However, its the UK, therefore its just a matter of getting mobile, and being self sufficient on the move, till you find help.(if that's what you need).

Did you also fall through a time warp into prehistoric Britain? That would explain why you can't just walk to the shops.

Did you also fall through a time warp into prehistoric Britain? That would explain why you can't just walk to the shops.

This whole Bridgend pedantry thing is missing the point.

Okay, let's say Neath.

walk west, you'll get somewhere

You could have specified the time-warp, that'd have got the point across without pedantry.

Okay, time-warp it is!

Okay, let's say Neath.

Towards Swansea or Merthyr Tydfil?

How far back does it go? Cos if it's iron age, there'd still be help fairly nearby, and you might even get by with your schoolboy Welsh. We could specify say, Neolithic or earlier, but post ice-age maybe. There'd certainly be more game around.

Til my insulin runs out I guess. Otherwise I'd be doing OK.

what would be the furthest you could walk in a straight line in the UK without coming across a road or a town?

How far back does it go?

That's what i was wondering. According to Wikipedia, there's been a roman settlement in Neath since 70AD, so there's bound to be some help. I reckon you could make a bit of money with the swiss army knife as the Romans would love that.

Their swords were pretty rudimentary, so incorporating a fish descaler would be useful, and the screwdriver could come in handy for servicing chariots etc.

[img] [/img]

what would be the furthest you could walk in a straight line in the UK without coming across a road or a town?

No, you have decided to stay in one place, coz it's cold and raining. That was your choice. Live with it. 😀

Now, what's your first move: rabbits, fish, a stray cow?

A sheep...we're in Wales.

Okay, but are you Ray Mears enough to catch said sheep, incapacitate the beast and - ahem - do what must be done?

Plus side is you'd have a jumper when you were done - top survival choice, that.

The water source is massively helpful as you can go for ages (weeks) without food assuming you carry a half decent amount of fat (I do).

But the quality of life would be poor unless one can secure some quality nutrition. Again, the water source is helpful because it may attract edible animals and support nutritional rich plants. But not having the knowledge and skills to exploit that, I would probably not live that well or long.

I bet Ray Mears is just desperate for a global catastrophe.

fresh water and shelter you say.

i would likely just sit on my arse, sipping water and carving little garden gnomes from the wood supply, till i was rescued by japanese tourists.

Not sure how many stabs of the swiss army knife would be required, those knives are pretty small...but yeah I'd kill it if i was hungry.

I've never really trusted Ray Mears...no one can be that fat living on just bark and nuts.

And you're right a nice jumper too...although full of holes after stabbing the sheep to death.

Ok.

Let me get this right.

So I'm stuck in 70AD Neath.

I thnk I'd top myself..

I'd have to think hard about which I'd prefer out of 70 AD Neath or 2012 AD Neath 🙂

Well.. if I were allowed to roam a bit, I'd head for one of the Ogwr streams higher up as there'd be trout, which can be caught easily without a line or hook.

I'd also try rabbits. But there weren't any of those in neolithic times, so I'd have to look for other eatables. Beavers perhaps.

70AD. Neath. So wild haggis are still inhabiting Wales at this time? I'd catch a few of them to help feed me while I hike to Londinium and bag me some prime real estate.

Neath was a bad choice.

We should never have left the Bridgend area. 😥

desperate to eat some beaver are we molly....

😆

if it were me in that situation i'd drink lots of water and urinate everywhere to scare off the predators, then entice the local population of tribal women from round the corner to come party with me in my shelter.

its raining so they'd be all wet and nekkid.

on that note, its raining so it'd be wet beaver. is that harder to attain?

Are there any zombies in this scenario?

So I have to stay in one place cos Bridgend doesn't exist?

Simple. I'd cut off my own leg and roast it. I reckon it'd keep me going for a few days. Might even make a steak and kidney stew.

It just seems too much effort running after rabbits or sheep......

Are there any zombies in this scenario?

Not yet, but the day is young.

Fancy your chances against Welsh zombies with a penknife and access to a fresh water supply, do we? 🙂

Is it the blonde pilot?
was that what the drooling was about?

We're not sure yet if she managed to bail. Damn, she was pretty, too. Be hard to fight her off, even if she was a zombie...

Zombies?

Are we talking the type of Zombies from Dawn of the Dead in the 1978 original or the 2004 remake?

Very different kettle of fish.

It's Wales. I'm more worried about the zombie sheep.
[img] ?w=300&h=185[/img]

Welsh-Roman Zombie hybrids armed with pen knives & water balloons??

WTF???

That's not bloody fair!

That's not bloody fair!

You don't hear Ray Mears complaining... 🙄

[i]So you're lost in the wilderness...[/i]

Don't worry, I'm sure theres an App for that 😉

The title of my next thread may be...

[i]I don't own an iphone... Will I die ?[/i]

You don't hear Ray Mears at all...
Until it's too late

😀

Nah, first thing I'd do is set ingenious Ray Mears traps around my bivouac. Always one step ahead of the game, me.

Then I'd go cut arrows with my penknife and find myself a cow. Zombie or otherwise, that's good eating.

Ray Mears is a zombie?!

Ahhh mannn...

Now we are totally screwed..

Ha, most folk here wouldn't know what to do with an animal they'd just killed. It would be a mess with probably quite a bit of waste too.
🙂

What about the plane? Did that come through the time vortex? If it did then I'd find that as it would still have my packed lunch in it somewhere, plus lots of salvageable bits.

Although knowing STW the tyres would probably out of fashion already and hence no good to man nor sheep.

Ha, most folk here wouldn't know what to do with an animal they'd just killed. It would be a mess with probably quite a bit of waste too.

Yeah, that was what I was thinking originally, before the Bridgend/Neath conundrum and the zombies side-tracked me... could any of us live off the land, even if we had an iPhone?

Is the time vortex still open?
And is it stable?

More importantly, do I have a companion called Amy Pond?

Let's settle this time vortex thing once and for all.

Said vortex closed when you fell from the plane. The unconscious blonde pilot and plane fell through, too.

Don't give up hope. You're well versed in time travel lore and you believe the vortex will reopen - until then, all you have to do is survive.

As you were.

[i]could any of us live off the land, even if we had an iPhone?[/i]

Depends if theres an app for recharging said iphone by plugging it into deer droppings as I've heard that soil doesn't have the correct apple port.

And if the plane has made it through the vortex, then was the plane taking off from or landing onto a conveyor belt at the time ?.

Ha, most folk here wouldn't know what to do with an animal they'd just killed. It would be a mess with probably quite a bit of waste too

I know the theory. Although I had to throw away a good deal of meat on the sea bass I did the other day.

Does the plane still fly btw?

What's wrong with the pilot? Will she come round eventually, and is she hot?

If she is hot, are there any guidelines one whether she's 'up for it'?

[i]Does the plane still fly btw?[/i]

Bird hunting with a plane ?.

Ask her? It being modern day 70AD and all that

Does the plane still fly btw?

It's toast. You checked.

What's wrong with the pilot? Will she come round eventually, and is she hot?

If she is hot, are there any guidelines one whether she's 'up for it'?

Mysterious ailment. It'll pass. Trouble is, she landed in the next valley, so you're not sure if you'll get a chance to 'get it on'. For background purposes, it should be said that she bears an uncanny resemblance to Maryam D'abo c. [i]The Living Daylights[/i].

She even has a cello. Perhaps she could use that to whack over aggressive bears/wolves or whatever predators come a-knocking in the middle of the night. She's no damsel in distress, is our Maryam.

For fire you could use the still smouldering wreck of the plane. The blonde will be just about medium rare if you hurry up.

[i]If she is hot, are there any guidelines one whether she's 'up for it'?[/i]

Put it away. Theres plenty of time for that later. Esp if you show yourself to be proficient at providing shelter in the form of a small country pile with no less than 6 bedrooms, a different iphone for every day of the week and food via your live in, double michelin starred chef.

If you've pulled all that off. Then by the power of reverse Engineering, being so proficient and successful, will make you more handsome, overnight. And theeennnn, you can get busy with the babe.
🙄

Are we restricted to the Paeleo diet? Solo will be pleased.

How long does it take to walk to Bridgend?

You don't know Bridgend [s]is there[/s]

Ah, ok. Might be worth the trek to the other valley.

Just checked, bears were extinct in the uk in the 10th century, so that is a real risk.

The cello is an interesting development though, the strings could be useful to use as bow string but that would make after dinner entertainment less enjoyable.

this is easy.

First, disregard this stay where you are nonsense - doesn't work for Ray Mears, won't work for me.
Find something cute and furry. Kill it, eat it, wear it's skin. Chicks really dig that sort of thing (forgive the language and attitude, but it's the 70's, you want to blend in)
Then find some people. Start killing them till they see sense and you become their leader, then find a bigger group of people and repeat.
Keep repeating until the group is the one that calls themselves the Romans.

Congratulations. You are now a god and your time machine awaits

Are we considering the possibility that someone will follow us through the time hole and rescue us?

Excellent alpha male tactics from BigButSlimmerBloke there... he'd definitely be a good bloke to have around in a one-way time travel adventure to Neath or possibly Bridgend. These attributes have been noted.

Are we considering the possibility that someone will follow us through the time hole and rescue us?

No, think Tron Legacy. The access vortex opens and closes. Once it's shut, it's shut and you can't get back, not even if you are Jeff Bridges.