[Closed] So - this proposing to marry someone thing - advice?

... she even has a list of who she would invite to the wedding on her phone

A bit scared tbh

Seems like you've got it covered. 🙂

[img] [/img]

If she's called Louise... Run!

Is her name Louise ?

Damn

A bit scared tbh

If you're scared of saying something nice to her are you sure that getting married to her is a good idea? 😉

I proposed to my wife on a golf course*.
I went down on one knee to mark my ball on the green and she got the wrong idea.
I just went with it as she was beating me by four holes at the time.

*This bit is true.

[img] [/img]

[i]Suggestions/dos/dont's appreciated[/i]

Don't.

Madrid eh?

You could offer to take her up the Plaza de Colón

Don't.

I went full on - bought the ring (now that hurt), romantic location whilst on a bike tour, down on one knee etc. etc. - she nearly had a heart attack.

We had been together for 13 years though, so I was pretty sure she'd say yes .. and the jeweller said 'if she doesn't like it we'll work something out'.

I suspect the something was one of my kidneys.

You could offer to take her up the Plaza de Colón

Trying to remember the name of the british scientist who was driving to a dinner party with the woman who'd later be his wife and said to her

"Just so you know - we're engaged"

Congratulations 🙂

Go the whole hog ... find a nice location, memorable, think of some very nice things to say about the life you want together and being happy you have found her - never want to let her go etc ...

As above down on one knee

I did all of the above second time round. There was no element of surprise as plan was to ask at top of Rockerfeller Center and on first attempt agter a very nice dinner I was told tickets where all sold out for that day and to come back tomorrow - we had a very good laugh with the ticket sellers about this not being "part of the plan"

BTW wife to be choosing the ring is perfect !! Just fyi you can tell shop budget (in advance) and they will show rings to that plus you can negotiate the price. You can save a lot buying the stone from a wholesaler, settings are relatively cheap.

[quote=jambalaya ]Congratulations
Go the whole hog ... find a nice location, memorable, think of some very nice things to say about the life you want together and being happy you have found her - never want to let her go etc ...

or do as I did, last orders called in pub asked if she fancied another drink or wanted to get married. Typical woman wanted both, 28yrs married now

It doesnt count useless you get a dusty patch on a knee.

And

Have you ask her old man for her hand ? .... I think this is a lovely touch myself

Good luck

Oh ... and be prepare once you've asked her to then not speak to her for the next half hour !!

She be on the phone to her mum and best pal.

It doesnt count useless you get a dusty patch on a knee.

I was in ski boots, couldn't kneel down that far...

[b]ninfan[/b] 😆 - sounds like a plan... but would she say yes if I took her there with no warning... 😉

[b]Ro5ey[/b] with my knees , I might not get up again...

[b]jambalaya[/b] 🙂 was at the top of the rock 2 weeks ago but on a stag do.

Of course - it's going to rain this weekend in Madrid...

Be careful about where you put the emphasis in the sentence "Will you do me the honour of being my second wife". You don't want it to look like a best-of-three scenario. 🙂

Just go large on the romance: Harbourside restaurant, candlelight, great food and wine . . . winner.

Novelty proposals (scuba diving etc) are a bit naff.

Have you ask her old man for her hand ?

I did this with Mrs B's father, over Sunday lunch in a country pub. Frankly, he was a bit too keen.

Be careful about where you put the emphasis in the sentence "Will you do me the honour of being my second wife". You don't want it to look like a best-of-three scenario.

I always introduce her to people as "my first wife"

Keeps her on her toes.

I went with nag them till they said yes, there's only so many times a person can say no.

Have you ask her old man for her hand ?

I hadn't. She made me phone him on the spot and check it was ok.....

Novelty proposals (scuba diving etc) are a bit naff.

😆

I was proposed to in a fake restaurant in London, surrounded by People I thought were out for dinner but were actually "extras"

How that for novelty 😆

Talking of second wives and Ski boots

I got married to my 1st on top of a mountain in the snow.... it went down hill from there....

Boom tish ... a bad joke and looking back it was. We were both very young.

Still I had a really good morning boarding waiting for her that day.

I hadn't. She made me phone him on the spot and check it was ok.....

I said 'I guess I'd better ask your Dad'

She said 'WTF has it got to do with him?'

So I didn't as such (we told her parents together when we got back).
And a valuable lesson in marital harmony was learnt.

I was proposed to in a fake restaurant

Wow. 😯 I'm actually slightly lost for words. 😉

Crack on btw OP, we're on tenterhooks here

ninfan - sounds like a plan... but would she say yes if I took her there with no warning...

I think I would go for the "don't tell her what it's called, just propose by the beautiful waterfalls and statue in the beautiful city of Madrid", and take lots of photos

Then plead ignorance - securing it as a fantastic dinner party conversation for decades to come 😀

[b]nealglover[/b] bloody hell. respect... or were they enforcers to make sure you said the right thing?!

Just change your facebook status.

Remember the key principles of a wedding....

Aisle

Altar

Hymn

Wow. I'm actually slightly lost for words.

So was I !

Nealglover getting ready for a big night out...

[img] [/img]

😛 not far from the truth (at least for that one weekend)

I presume, after the "reveal" everything since has been real 😯

I proposed to Mrs Scud in a little italian restaurant next to Central Park on one knee, the whole thing was slightly marred by the "Worlds Campest Waiter TM) for some reason going absolutely batshit and waiving his arms around like he was trying to land aircraft on the flight deck and bursting into tears, he then proceeded to bring my wife flowers and pretty much sat at our table, so after she'd said yes, we barely got to say anything to each other for the next hour... i think he was angling for an invite to the wedding to.

I asked Mrs officer's parents their consent. I think they were more surprised than she was!

Go for a nice meal, then pop the question just as the starters arrive. She'll run off to ring her mum, and you can eat both starters.
Worked for me.

Check the classifeids for anyone selling some decent running shoes.
Buy them.
Use them....

All the best. Someone always said you have to go down on one knee..... If anything be careful how you set yourself up. Set the bar too high and then you've set the expectations for life to come!!! I am evidently always failing these days. Though I think (probably get flamed) women no matter what they say always like to be spoilt and pampered.

Was in LA when I bought the engagement ring. However, credit card company calls home back in Vancouver, my wife (gf back then) picks up. She says how can I help, they say we would like to speak to me. She says he is traveling and in LA, CC company say they have a big expense on the CC for XXXX amount. She says 'oh' and proceeds to ask them for more details concerned about the expense and they proceed to tell her where at!!! 😯 😯 Phone banking back in Canada wasn't as strict as it is here.

She didn't tell me until much later after I had proposed.

I proposed to my wife on a golf course*.
I went down on one knee to mark my ball on

You know that thing where you read a sentence with some words from the line below?

I had a plan to propose to my wife in Edinburgh. I had a half bottle of Champagne in an ice sleeve in my rucksack, we'd walked around all day and the plan was to go up Arthurs Seat to look at the town as dusk fell and all the lights came on. And ask there.

But when i suggested it, my the girfriend's words were '**** off, I've walked all day and my feet are ****ing killing me'

So we went to a pub instead, and the moment was lost.

I proposed the next morning in a Travelodge in Leith, and we toasted ourselves with champagne that had got warm overnight. She also told me to get up and stop being a **** when i tried to kneel down.

Have you ask her old man for her hand ? .... I think this is a lovely touch myself

Not sure where you are but if it's close(ish) then the jewellery quarter in Birmingham is good value for rings and loads of choice.

Mrs M's response to me asking was 'of course I will you doughnut' ....... such a romantic 😆

I hid a ring in a Christmas cracker, when we pulled the cracker and it fell out I got down on one knee and proposed in front of Mrs F's whole family. Very cheesy, but she loved it. Took us twelve years to actually get married though.

If you've already talked about it in open terms and are starting to arrange the invites then what is the proposal for?

Opinions may very - I'm not too keen on the idea of women as chattels.

It's a nice little tradition, people like it. What's the Harm.

Ps: nobody who does this actually thinks of women as "chattels" either. Hope that helps.

what is the proposal for?

See above. Nice tradition, people like it.

Can't help much as Mrs Z says that I never actually asked her to marry me.

Seems odd that we both popped into the registry office one Saturday morning.

Needs more imagination.

Get down on your knees, both.
Start some cunning linguistics.
When she starts screaming "Yes! Yes!" hand her the ring.
(She'll be clutching your ears, so make sure you don't get scratched)

Best not to do this in front of her parents...

Just do it when it feels right, you both might be doing something random together, but it feels right.

Good luck. Love is one of the best things in the world.

Jeebus you lot. What are you like!

I keep telling my partner of nearly 30 years that we should get married as she will get a better slice of my pension when I'm dead.

She keeps telling me to f-off and she doesn't want to get married.

Neither do I for that matter.

But my pension rules say that if we are married she will get half when I die, a quarter if we aren't married.

One knee, ask dads permission, romance.......FFS!

We never got engaged. We just decided that after 6 years it would probably be best to be married.
That was in 1975. Still going well. Still doing everything we were doing then. Except smoking.

Stag!Stag!Stag!Stag!

Where're we going? Core sorting it out?

Ask her dad for permission, make sure you pop the question at the end of the break, not the start, pick somewhere with a view, go down on one knee. Simples. 🙂

Went to Edinburgh only because I had a load of Sheraton hotel points from working away so free hotel, went to Ducks restaurant and was that nervous that I waited till everyone had left and the waiters were wanting to go home, got down on one knee and really made a hash of it I was that nervous! Mrs RNP made me sit back down, compose myself and ask her again. Properly.

And so began married life!

I think there's a lot to be said for not stressing this too much. Because you're almost always these days "proposing" to someone you've known for ages, have had quite a bit of intercourse with and is likely thinking it's about time you got round to it, there's this tendency to make it into a massive Instagram-able moment, and then you've got to do it all over again with the wedding (which is at least a slightly big deal).

As long as it looks like it isn't a totally spur-of-the-moment thing and you're serious, then if she's happy about it it will be quite a happy occasion. 🙂

[/i]It's a nice little tradition, people like it. What's the Harm[i]

I've always found it a bit strange we still give women away as if they're objects owned by the males. Bit caveman isn't it?

I didn't see it as giving someone away, rather asking her Father (or should that be parents nowadays) if they would consider you suitable for their daughter.

of course, it creates an issue if they don't but in those instances i suspect you would have an idea not to ask anyway

following on from my edinburgh proposal, i took my future / prospective FiL a bottle of whisky back and asked if he'd consider swapping his permission to marry his daughter for it. Nearly broke my arm the speed at which that transaction was concluded.

If tradition isn't important any more, can i vote we do away with 'the giving and receiving of rings'? Expensive, annoying, prone to getting lost......

[img] [/img]

I have just seen this, which is a killer line if you and your girlfriend are Cactaceae.

😀

I like that. Might well use it. She spent a few years in Mexico. Already planning to nick Cougar's (I think) Rick Astley vows...

Not going to ask her dad, that would annoy her, or her kids ( who will be ok with it - their dad is remarrying soon) but will give mine a heads up, already mentioned it to them. Haven't told my 21 year old I want him to be best man yet! And he will be in Prague next year so stag location sorted... 🙂

The cheapo fake ring has arrived - just need to work out a location now. Plaza de Colon would make a good story... 🙂

The Cacti/Cactus thing, doesn't really work does it ?

It's saying you are ready to stop being plural (together)
And start being singular (alone)

I know it's a bit pedantic, but, you know. Standards etc 😉

hmmm... true... and she'd spot that too

Plaza de Colon would make a good story...

Please please do this

"Well I took her up the plaza De colon and seemed like a good time to pop the question"

I took my Mrs for a meal to the pub where we had a our first date, then the pub we had our second date.

Planned to ask her at the first one, but bottled it, so second pub was plan b, bottled that too.

Leaving pub b, I noticed the Big wheel thing that was in the centre of Sheffield at the time, though about getting the Champaign VIP room as plan c, but bottled that too.

So just waited until we got home, just said I wanted to ask her something, we both sat down on the sofa and I got the ring out of my pocket and asked. Simples but boring! 😀 She was over the moon.

I just couldn't bring myself to the down on one knee thing in public, she probably wouldn't have liked it either to be honest.

[i]Rick Astley vows...[/i]

This is just sick. I don't know what they are, but I do not approve. Unless, of course the wedding cake is to be made of pure cheeeese.

It's a nice little tradition, people like it. What's the Harm.

Ps: nobody who does this actually thinks of women as "chattels" either. Hope that helps.

As I said, opinions vary. My FiL was adamant that he wasn't giving his daughter away ("she is not a possession" were his words).

Last time I went shopping with my wife was ring choosing in Hatten Garden - the pub lunch break was OK.

I did the dead in Picadilly Circus by that Anteros statue - bleugh....

Have you ask her old man for her hand ? .... I think this is a lovely touch myself

Opinions may very - I'm not too keen on the idea of women as chattels.

This^

My Fiancee's old man (whom I have met once for all of a few hours) banged on about "waiting for him to phone and ask". She told him he may have to wait a long time.

Pick somewhere with a nice view/aspect. I did it in the car 'cause it was pouring with rain in Sma' Glen and then renacted it at the Scott Monny Edinburgh when the ring came through. I knew I would have to let her choose her own.

Popped the question on the roof terrace bar of the Circolo de bellas artes.

She said yes. 🙂

I may have made a rookie error by getting a fake ring which looks like it has a really big ruby. Poor expectation management 🙁 Jewellers going to ream me this coming weekend. Hey ho!