[Closed] So my mum died - that cancer shit really is horrible...

sorry for your loss.

Dad going through 2nd bout of chemo 😐

Sorry to hear that Danny, thoughts are with you. RIP Ms BGoode Snr. 🙁

I'm really sorry for your loss.

Sad news, just remember the good times with her.

Nothing really prepares you for it.

Take it easy.

Ah, jeez oh, sorry to hear about it. All the best from us, hope family is all OK.

Ugh. My condolences. I lost my dad last year and it was a messy, drawn-out affair. It's probably little comfort, but there's worse ways to check out; I'd have swapped a champagne breakfast for trawling the streets looking for a confused nursing home escapee any day. Genuinely sorry for your loss.

both my parents taken by the big C before their time, death really is a shitter. Thoughts and stuff. 🙂

Tough times Danny. This place has many special qualities particularly in times like these. My thoughts are with you, she sounds like an incredible lady with a genius sense of humor and strength of personality. We leave nothing behind but our kids, she's done her part now do yours.

So sorry to hear that.

**** Cancer

Sorry to hear 🙁

So sorry for your loss.life's too short.

@cougar. On balance you're right. I know that if I had something terminal I'd at least want it to be quick.

I'm also fortunate to have been able to say goodbye properly and there was just enough time for her to make peace with one of my sisters who hasn't been speaking to her for years.

Yep, we've all got to go sometime and if there's one thing is learned it's life is short. Enjoy it - I know my mum did to a large extent.

Making peace was another cool thing to do. I have a family situation where I would like that to happen, however a lifetime of stubborness (a quality I recognise) is getting in the way. Thanks for sharing.

@jambalaya - the stupid thing about it though is my sister lives in Australia and she had been over at Christmas and refused to see my mum. Even then we suspected something was wrong even though we hadn't had the diagnosis.

So she wasted 2 weeks she could have spent with my mum then and then flew back to Oz only to have to fly pretty much straight back again.

Life is definitely too short so if it's mainly stubbornness that's getting in the way of reconciliation (as it was for my sister and mum) then one party or the other just needs to back the **** down. Easier said than done I know!

Sorry for your loss mate.

Grief is a strange one - sometimes it's much easier to talk to strangers.
Might not seem like it now but it does get easier, I promise.

Take care of yourselves everyone - email in profile if anyone just wants a chat.

Love to all.
Pete.

Sorry to hear the news Danny, sounds like you did her proud though and all was at peace as well as it could be in the circumstances.

Never will forget that Scarborough puncturefest charity ride!

Dan

i am very sorry for your loss (cannot think of anything else to write 🙁

My thoughts are with you Danny.

So sorry dannyb.

Condolences Danny

Sad at your loss Danny.

Really pleased that your sister managed to make peace with your mum though - my dad (and mum) both died of cancer. My younger sister had a difficult relationship with Dad and never really resolved it with him.

All the best.

Life is indeed a c word

My deepest sympathies to you and your family.

Sorry for your loss Danny, you've said it all really. She didn't suffer long and she passed away at home with family surrounding her. (My sisters, mother and I were with my dad when he passed and I still view it as a huge privilege)

Lost my mum to cancer when I was 16. She suffered for a long long time, more than anyone should have to. She was diagnosed as terminal in the August and given 4-6 months. She lasted till the July. In incredible pain all that time. On my 16th birthday I spoke to her on the phone. She and I were in tears as the cancer had spread to her brain and she was trying to wish me happy birthday but the cancer or the drugs prevented her from saying her words in the correct order so what she was saying was gobbledigooK. It was tough.

Lost my mum 3 years ago to the C was a nightmare.

I lost both my parents to the big C. Mum when I was 16, dad 10 years later. There's not much anyone can say that will help. Time is the best healer, although I doubt you'll think that just yet.

I found that once the funeral was over, I could look to the future. Before it, all I could think about was the loss.

I do know that I've never felt so alone as the night after my father's funeral. There didn't seem to be anyone I could turn to if a problem arose, even my wife. You get over such thoughts in time.

Sorry to hear your sad news 🙁

OP thanks for the background, I will keep trying

Sorry to hear the sad news.

In our community, culture and belief we consider this a good death. i.e. no unnecessary suffering.

Sorry for your loss.

I lost my father to motor neurone a few weeks ago. He was also at home with family. Not once did he complain either.

Some awful diseases about.

However the district nurses and carers were brilliant with us. The only thing that isnt working is the out of hours care when you want to contact a dr to come out but it not serious enough for 999.

So sorry, thoughts with you. 🙁 +1 on what Zanelad said.

I can't say much except that I sympathise deeply. I lost my dad to cancer one year ago this coming Sunday. It really is tough, but the kindness of others can make it just a little more bearable.

In the meantime, it sounds like she was a good example. Try not to forget.

Best wishes.

Very sorry to hear that mate.

You're right, it's a proper shitter. Sorry for your loss.

Lost my dad in October to it. It was a long time coming but relatively quick in the end, 2 weeks from the final hospital trip with diagnosis to gasping his last spaced out on morphine at home. We're also luck to have medical friends and family - basically od'd him at the end.

Those two weeks were brutal - it could have been months, we just didn't know. But every two days was a step closer. Before the first morphine needle went in he was already half away with the fairies but he gave my sister one of his knowing winks and went to sleep.

The only hint of a grumble was sitting there one night, he just said "what a silly business". I understood that as "cancer's a f*****g pain in the tits".

Big man hug to you Danny.

lost my dad 18 years ago to bone cancer and I still miss him every day as he really was my best mate, my mum went through breast cancer & chemo 3 years ago and I just found out my mum has lesions on her lungs so needs more chemo 🙁
One of our number on here (not going to say who) lost his wife of 39 years to Leukemia earlier this month in 7 days from diagnosis!

[i]"cancer's a f*****g pain in the tits"[/i] just what my mum said then she added but I don't have any tits left.

Sorry for your loss, my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer 2.5 years ago, fingers crossed she's ok now but we think about the event everyday and every routine scan is a scary time.....
All the best and please do keep talking about how you feel

Feeling your loss Danny. Lost Mum & Dad in 12 months to cancer. Has taken me about 20 months to start feeling happy again.

Stay strong, remember lots and laugh out loud about the good times.

But as you have all said cancer sucks.

Have a look at the socks Morevelo are currently doing.

Cheers guys. Got really are the best bunch of complete strangers I know.

I sorry to hear about all the people others have lost too. Love doesn't make much sense, death even less so.

I just thankful that there are a lot of good memories to look back on (unlike with my dad) and we know we helped her in the end and gave her the send off she deserved.

Rip you mum. My condolences to you and your family. Cancer should just f right off. Miserable nasty horrid pointless disease.

All of our family have died of either cancer or heart attacks, when my mum died suddenly of a heart attack, a freind of hers at the funeral said,as time goes by youll be so glad your mum didnt suffer, its a shock but its better than seeing somebody strong and full of life slowly dieing.

at the time i thought what a silly thing to say, then watched, as my dad first got cancer, went blind, deaf, incontinent,get MRSA and C DIFF and to see him every week going weaker and weaker, numerous numerous different treatments where tried and failed, he was moved from ward to ward, hospital to hospital.

My thoughts are with you at his sad time, be strong, cry and remember all the happy memories of your mum.

Cancer can go get ****ed. Lost my father to it when I was 2, lost my step dad to it last year, his brother too a few weeks ago. Mum just had hysterectomy due to cancer. Its shit. Good luck with the next few weeks.its a tough time xx

It's a cruel disease. Absolute respect to your mum for facing it with dignity, compassion and a wicked sense of humour.

Celebrating a life lived and loved to the full is precious. Preserve the memory. I lost my grandmother at a month short of her 95th birthday to Parkinson's Disease. There's barely a day I don't think of what she brought to our lives. It tempers the dreadful couple of weeks of suffering she endured defying the prescribed Liverpool Care Pathway. Her heart was strong to the end. Wishing you and yours well.

Over the last 18 months I've watched my best friend go from smashing me up hills on bikes, through countless rounds of chemo and radiotherapy and finally a stem cell transplant. On Monday he phoned me from hospital (where's he's been for the vast majority of that time) to say the cancer had returned and he probably had less than a month to live.

Having to witness him go through the last year and half, through endless oscillations of hope and despair, has broken my heart. I'm sitting here now knowing that my best friend in the World is unlikely to make it to 36 and that his little boy probably won't remember him in later life. It's just so so sad.

Hi Danny. I lost my mum to the big C 2 years ago, weeks after my wife lost her older sister. It was a crap few months.
It is difficult but time heals.
Thoughts are with you.
Steve

I've nothing to say that hasn't already been said - and better than I could have said it too.....
However, you're in our thoughts and Karen and I send you every good wish possible at such a sad time. That didn't read how I wanted it to, but you get the idea.

So sorry for your loss.

My Dad is currently in remission after having a good deal of the inside of his mouth removed. My Mother in law is fighting a brave battle she knows she won't win. As others have said, Cancer is a four letter word. We have had a lesson on stoicism and bravery from both.

Feel free to share. Many have walked this path before you and will lend an ear.

Love and peace.

On reading this thread I just want to say, I'm sorry for everyone else's losses also. I don't have better words.

Sorry for your sad loss. I lost my Mum 8 years ago to cancer. Time has helped but I still miss her a lot. Cruel timing as well as my daughter was born a few months before her diagnosis (first grandchild) and was 18 months old when she died. They would have had so much fun together as they both enjoy(ed) similar things.

Really, really sorry for your loss sir 😥 had the same myself, not nice. My mother went from enjoying her retirement, (even though it was only two years) after more than 45yrs in the pub trade, into the shit life of cancer, to dying in less than two years 😥 To see them disentangate into what you and remember them is heartbreaking 😥

Also echo what project said above ^^ my dad died at 65 (I was 20 at the time) so you kinda remember them as how they were. Obviously this doesn't mean anything to you but I really do wish you all the best for the future, I know it's a cliche but time is really a great healer. Over time you tend to forget the (relatively) bad times and remember all those good times. The birthdays, the Christmas's etc, etc. All the best sir !

Best wishes to you Danny and everyone else who has been affected by this awful disease.

Thoughts are with you Danny.
I am just at the start of the grieving journey, my dad died of bone cancer on Thursday, bed bound for the last six months.
Watching him deteriorate slowly has been painful. Bas***d cancer!
His was a secondary cancer after catching prostate cancer slightly too late (as men do!) two years ago, and it was only the tumors that flagged the primary up.
Not trying to hijack the thread, but keep on top of any symptoms of cancer if possible.

crofts2007 - Member

Thoughts are with you Danny.
I am just at the start of the grieving journey, my dad died of bone cancer on Thursday, bed bound for the last six months.
Watching him deteriorate slowly has been painful. Bas***d cancer!
His was a secondary cancer after catching prostate cancer slightly too late (as men do!) two years ago, and it was only the tumors that flagged the primary up.
Not trying to hijack the thread, but keep on top of any symptoms of cancer if possible.

Crofts that's exactly how my father died, I sat with him the day before he died and we just talked as much as he could manage, it was heart breaking seeing the man who helped you grow up reduced to being hoisted up to have his nappy changed & really scared.

I'm right on the point of crying now but the in-laws might wonder what's going on?

Oh and I have regular PSA checks these days.

I found out today that there is very little hope for my mum,two weeks ago I was giving her and my dad a lift to get their caravan sorted out for the summer and two days later she was in hospital and hasn't really opened her eyes since,havent said a proper goodbye where I know she is awake and listening and never will now I suppose,that is starting to get to me a bit,sorry for rambling,just wanted to write it down,no idea why,confusion I guess.

My thoughts are with you Danny and everyone else who has been affected by this s****y disease. I have no further words except group hug... 😥