[Closed] So, my girlfriend left me

Sorry fella. (Presuming fella so apologies if not!)

Do you know why you have split?

I'm very sorry to hear that mate.

Would you like to talk a bit more about the circumstances or just have a manhug?

edinburgh relationship support out in force 🙂

It will get better,not much use at the moment i guess but it will.

Sorry to hear that, it will get better.

Try to see the positives in any situation, always helps me 😛

Chin up fella.

mine ended our relationship at new year. it is/was shit, but things are getting better.

it will get better, i promise.

Sorry to hear that mate. Its heartbreaking when you dont see it coming. But (and its an old cliche) but time is a great healer. It will get easier and better.

potentially lots of things as causes - money, living situation, me commuting and working long hours, lots of things taking their toll on the pair of us but we had always managed to sort it out in the past, where as this time their was no reasoning with her about changing the situation, no warning, effectively stopped working with me on the relationship and left me in our house climbing up the walls. There are elements i can understand from her perspective, but all these issues would be quite easily solved in the next 18 months when I finish my MA.

Really appreciate just being able to talk to people and keep my mind off the worst of it really (manhug optional)

Been there mate, sorry to hear it. Things do get better I promise.

The advice I'd give is keep yourself busy with old or new friends and you'll be happy again.

"Manhug", chin up, all the best fella.

*hug*
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That cat does not seem to be a willing volunteer to that hug.

By the sounds of the MA studies, you have a good life ahead and have had to struggle to get there. You will move on and be a happier person for this. Old cliche, but what doesnt kill you makes you stronger!

You will meet someone more in tune with your world and look back at how much better things got after this.
😀

Girlfriend leaves you but you have to move out? Sorry to hear.

thanks guys.

Hopefully going to crash at a friends house while his parents are away for a couple of weeks, while trying to find somewhere more central to live.

Hoping it will be better once i get into a more stable routine

Why are you moving out??? If her parents are closer then get her to go...

She left you so why did you have to move out ?

well, the house we live in belongs to her grandad, and i can't afford to pay the rent there and commute, so it doesn't really leave me much option.

I couldn't bring myself to stop in that house anyway, going back to get the rest of my things is going to be hard enough as it is.

Kind words, positive vibes, hugs.

A lady I was (stupidly) fond of dumped me on my birthday a couple of years back.

Find a version of a song called "Station Blues/Sittin on Top of the World"... there's a good one on a CD titled "Shake Hands with Shorty" by the North Mississippi Allstars ..........and play it loudly

And now she's gone
And I don't worry
'cos I'm
SITTING ON TOP OF THE WORLD

One door closes..... but there's now time for a whole load of bridleway gates to open.

1. If she's insisting you move out stop paying any rent right now.

2. Have a beer.

3. Focus on the MA and get yourself a distinction.

4. Have a lolcat
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Not much consolation but at least you don't have kids to massively complicate the issue. You can make a clean break and everything gets easier with time.

Sorry matey, try to think positive, think of it as a fresh start, a new life etc, try to get excited about the new things to come. Sometimes change is good!

Sorry to hear that chap:(

Get out and ride.

Seriously- get soaking wet and windblown, push yourself harder than ever up the hills, forget the brakes on your favourite downhills- go night riding and howl at the moon- there's nothing like a bit of forward motion and physical exertion to help you move on.

Oh and girls will love the crazy look in your eyes

or something.. 😉

Get off the forum, do what you'd advise others to and make sure you have a roof over your head. We'll still be here after you've done all that.
Good luck, it'll get better. You WILL be fine.

Remember, it will get better. My last split was in Nov 05 - got "evicted" and had nowhere to go having sold my house the previous year. Ended up crashing at various mates' houses for 4 months; just me, my dog Bert and a car full of stuff. Ended up being a pretty interesting adventure all in all.

Having had one particularly bad late night experience of having to leave an alcoholic so-called mate's place in the middle of the night, I'd say plan ahead and see who'll to put you up. Sleeping in one's car in winter is not fun.

But once you're back in the swing of things and getting out and about keeping your mind occupied, then you'll soon be sorted.

Chin up.

Well thanks for all the advice. I am well in the process of finding another place to live near university - but the accommodation office doesn't open again until tomorrow.

I've found a room available in a couple of weeks time at the royal college of music, which i am hoping to rent for about 6 months before planning to move in with one of my course mates hopefully. I know it's effectively halls of residence, but it's the cheapest way to not be miles out of town and get stuck into a tenancy (that i can find at the moment anyway).

If you're studying at the RCM, you could try writing a blues.

You seem to have completed the first line already (judging by the title of the thread).

Nah, i actually am at the royal college of art, it's just they do share an amount of accommodation as the RCA doesn't have it's own. I study innovation design engineering - designing products and cars and services.

(((((hugs)))))
🙁

shit happens. Go with the flow. You'll feel better sometime or other or never. make some good mates and have some fun...

what did you do?

Man hug here,sadly youll never understand womens timing.

Best wishes for the future .

Chin up mate. About all that can be said really, time heals etc, but wont mean a lot to you for a while. Youll come through. You sound a sound enough chap.
I'd be planning a nice long road trip for your summer break. Stash some cash away now & hit the road for a month of hassle free biking around the country, further if funds permit.

Hugs and all that. Seems like loads of this happening ATM, couple of my friends, housemate. Time of year or something?

Nicolai Helius AC.

How old are you ?

If you're less than 35 you're better off without... Loads of fun and opportunity if you're in your 20's....

I had a great time right until I was 34 and met my beautiful wife...

Being newly single aswell I might have a theory...is it mtb'ers that are abhorrent to the fairer sex or just mtb'ers who also post on stw.We need statistics.

Another making arrangements to split up here - there seems to be a rash of it on STW recently...

hugs (in a manly way...lots of back slaps and stuff) Chin up. The sun will come out tomorrow and you'll feel better, much better.

the_lecht_rocks - Member
Nicolai Helius AC.
How old are you ?
If you're less than 35 you're better off without... Loads of fun and opportunity if you're in your 20's....
I had a great time right until I was 34 and met my beautiful wife...

Not entirely sure that came out right! Lol

😆

Ha! TLR - Helius AC indeed (or, carbon crisis bike)

I'm 25. Can relate to what you're saying mind.

potentially been offered a very good internship for the summer, so hopefully that will pan out nicely (and i'll get a load of riding done, and sort my rally car out!)

As people have said keep yourself busy busy busy. We've all been there and it's the grieving cycle. Wrap your arms around a bike and take it for many a spin, there's a lot of counselling within riding a bike and clearing your mind of the nitty gritty detail will make it easier to face the decisions you are facing.

Basics first, accommodation for you and your stuff, then move in, living on your own is very empowering, being self sufficient and knowing you can be when sh1t hits the fan makes you more confident you can survive.

Then get that MA finished in peace and get a good job... And just ride ride oh and ride! It's good to clear your head.

Pinches, a let me give you critique of the situation (See what I did there? Critique, geddit? Oh go on, it's been an age since we had a good critique......)

OK, so it's over, but at the least it's over before you have too many commitments (Children/house/pets etc).

Best of luck old chap, and chin up, eh?

@OP - from what you say it sounds like she was having doubts for some time but was too weak/kind/cared for you too much to actually do the deed. She has now done you a favour by ending it and won't be wasting any more of your time.

Happened to me many years ago. Started to do all the things I'd always wanted to do with my life and never looked back. Had a blast.
Throw yourself at all the things that make you happy, and as has been said, time will sort it all out and at least you now know the truth...

Oh, and you'll get dead good at riding if you ride all the time 🙂

so now single again and in university halls.... 😀

Don't give them names! 🙄

Hope things work out for you mate. Many people will be able to give you stories of overcoming heartbreak, my break-up prompted some world travel and meeting my now wife. Much happier now then I ever was back then.

One tiny bit of advice....Don't get hammered and then call said departee late at night, in tears, begging her to come back. Losing your dignity this way only make it worse. Trust me.....

I broke up over Xmas. Currently happier, having spent £1-2K on 3 new bikes and a heap of running and camping kit.

I broke up over Xmas

TJ will be back, don't fret. 😉

so now single again and in university halls....

😀 +1 😀

😀

Sorry to hear that man. I hope you can find some comfort somewhere and move on to a better life.

My ex left me then came back, then left me then came back then left me again, this went on and on and I thought I would never be free from the shackles of this "bad romance" till I found out he was seeing many different women up and down the UK....I realise now I should never have given it a second chance, never mind a third, fourth, fifth, etc.

I know it hurts, but I learned what is for you won't go by you, and I am sure one day you will be able to look back and see the pain in a different light. Be safe.

HUG

plenty more fish in the sea.

25 is good. If you can say good.

If you said '40's' it'd be a different spin on things.

Go out, rediscover friends (we always push them aside don't we?).

so now single again and in university halls....

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You, student halls...what were they thinking?

i think a crisis bike purchase is probably on the cards. Having said that i've buried my head in my rally car i started building 7yrs ago and stopped when we met pretty much - suddenly it looks like the car should be finished by the end of the year and i'll be able to use it over the summer.

I really appreciate some of the comments, and other peoples experiences are helping loads, Thanks STW

TJ will be back, don't fret.

Genuine lol.

McHamish, he's not that much of a looker, sadly! 😉