[Closed] So my baby won't sleep

Woke every hour and a half until she was 11months. But it does eventually improve! And I bet if you repeatedly quiz the other NCT lot they'll break and admit "through the night" is nothing of the sort. Best advice is to roll with it (as hard as it is) and don't let it dominate you,

Alas yes, it does seem to get longer between wakes over time though. At 18 months we are on 10:30, 2:30 and last night the additional joy of 5:30

We take it in turns that way neither of us end up totally broken

Left field and only from experience with mine; not tongue tied is she? Mine couldn't feed fully as it was knackering for her so she'd fall asleep then wake up hungry then not feed enough but drop off as she was knackered then wake up as she was hungry then.........

Months and months and month that went on until we got it fixed. Like a different baby after that.

It's brutal but thankfully it doesn't go on forever. Our younger one finally started sleeping through on a frequent basis just before Xmas, when he was about 16 months old. Before that he'd wake at completely random times, usually just as my wife was going to sleep - which ended up giving her acute insomnia, that's taken the best part of a year to learn how to manage. 2016 was very tough...

Look after yourselves, try to stay sane, enjoy all the little delights despite the permanent exhaustion!

Is she waking Hungry? Have you started on any solids yet?

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Boob or bottle ? Ours was a nightmare until we started giving her bottles as well and boom long nights, esp one at 10pm which saw her through till 6 mostly. Worth a try.

A. Controlled crying worked miracles for us after 9 months of no sleep and the boy ending up in our bed at 0300. He learnt to self settle.

B. Dream feed a bit of milk about 2300 to get them through the night.

Went from no sleep to a kid who sleeps til 0600-0730. I'll take 0600. Its better than 0300.

Still have to go in occasionally but that's kids. Maybe once a week and it's usually an issue of a random poo or duvet on floor.

That's my experience anyway.

There's a big element of luck. We found they both slept longer once established on mush.

We still get the ever delightful 'Mummydaddy! I need to tell you something!!!!' at 0300 from the 6yo's room from time to time, and getting her to stay in bed until >0600 is a battle, unlike no. 2 who needs removing from bed with a pitchfork.

All my friends/NCT seem to have perfect sleepers too, gah

No-one tells you how bad they're having it.

Just spent last hour getting my 16 month old to sleep - consistently takes this long or longer. Last week she slept from 8pm to 7am - that is the first and only time since she was born. Every other night she wakes at least 3 times.

I'm a heavy sleeper so my wife beats the brunt. She's only slept more than 3 hours in a row on one occasion for 16 months!

Anyway, they are mostly all like this! Makes me angry and frustrated sometimes but she's such a little treasure so I get over it quick.

Our first slept through.
The second was awful for 18 months.
Keep it on the boob and soundproof the spare room.

Where is the baby sleeping? Separate room? Where are you sleeping?

Have your tried letting the baby cry? With both kids there came a time, at around 6 months, that we just left them to cry. We knew they weren't hungry, they were warm etc, and they quickly adapted and only woke for a feed once a night, stopping at around 9 months. I general we found that routine is key. Good luck and stay strong!

From the OP...

Still wakes at 11 and 3 for a feed but probably a couple of times in between too.

We'd give body parts to have this few wake ups. 7month old mini-cp wakes [i]every[/i]30 mins to 1 hour.

Never believe anything that comes from the rest of the NCT group parent's - several months of sleep deprivation does weird things to recollection of the previous night, let alone the last week/month/ reality of the world in general.

One of our 7 year olds still wakes quite regularly - sometimes two or three times a night. It's just shit you adjust to so don't expect an instant answer and automatic solution...

Sorry.

Ours is four now and sleeps through. As a baby though, he was a nightmare. Every hour or so he woke up needing boob. Moved him into his own room and the pattern continued. He also never [i]ever[/i] slept during the day (unless we went a long drive) so the house slowly fell apart round our ears. It really does get better.

Controlled crying did it for my twins. Took 3 nights which were very difficult but after that peace.

As above NCT / Mumsnet is awful for "competitive parenting". This place in general seems a bit more honest....

Sweajnr didn't sleep through the night until 18 months. Looking back (he's almost 3 now) it was a combination of not enough food and he was a light sleeper. We ended doing some controlled crying (which is awful but did seem to help) and really, really emphasizing routine. So exact same books etc from about 5:30pm onward. A white noise machine playing the ocean was / is also essential for him.

Having said that every baby is different and so what works for one won't work for another. Rest assured though that you aren't remotely an outlier at this point....

Our first slept brilliantly for the first four months; then it all went to crap till she was 2.

Bed at 8pm and she'd wake 45minutes later...you could set your watch by it. Then again at 10.30pm just after we'd got to sleep and again between 12am and 1am. She'd go back to sleep reasonably easy for those ones but the 3am wake up would take 1hr-1.5hrs to get her back to sleep. Then we'd be up at 6am for the day.

My Mrs wouldn't try controlled crying, which was what the sleep bible book recommended for our sleep patterns so we just had to stick it out.

I did what Olly2097 suggests. I slipped a 'dream feed' in about 20-30mins in before she woke - used formula - (don't tell Mrs Stuey) - it was the only way to get 6 hours kip.

I often wake up in the night wanting boob 🙂

Seriously though, my daughter was like this and it was hunger. Woke her up at 11 and fed her and she slept.

But mine (now 6 and 8yr ) get up early every day. Like 5.30-6. So ignore anyone who says it gets better 🙂

In my vast experience of parenting, a whole seven years, all I can contribute is...

"in time, this too shall pass"

Currently in the chair in our 6 month old asleep across my lap. She now manages at most 20 minutes in her cot. 3 months ago she would go for 2-4 hours. Sleep ruined by her getting her first cold followed by teething and her spending too much time on people. I haven't slept in my own bed for five and a half months now (we do shifts to cope)! It's crap and I've also had enough of it.

This one is much worse than her older sister, who herself was not great. Fortunately she grew out of it and is a pretty regular 7-7 sleeper now.

Just glad she is a very happy baby when awake.

I'm typing this whilst laid in bed next to my son, he's three next month. A combination of medical issues and other stuff has lead to him being used to having somebody with him. The wife and I take it in turns. Basically ones of us stays with him until completely broken and then we swap.

He's fine now, medically speaking and falls asleep quite quickly. As soon as you leave the room though he'll instantly wake up. We've tried all sorts of techniques to no avail. Tried controlled crying and he went nuclear, for hours, until he was shaking and really emotional. Tried that for two weeks and nobody got sleep. To be honest I quite nice staying with him. He won't be this small and cuddly forever.

Probably get accused of being a bad parent and emotionally scarring him for life. It's different when it's happening to you though. First two years were hideous for me and the missus, we got by on very little sleep. Surprised we didn't kill each other.

Sorry for the slight hijack.

As above. Routine. Is he getting enough to eat. Let then cry (tough)

@nixie kids aren't daft sleeping on / with mum and dad is reassuring. Need to revert to the crying tactic.

Best of luck

Yeah think that is coming. She has recently stepped up the crying intensity when she realises she is not on us. Headphones can only help so much!

Check for any hunger, development or illness and then I'd say give controlled crying a go. They're pretty smart little buggers these kids.

We did controlled with my first and it was hard. We'd let him cry for 5 mins then go in, settle him and walk out. Then we just did 10, 15, 20 minute gaps until it stopped. Never got to 25 and sorted it in three nights.

My daughter took 2 days and we never got past the second interval. She's a smart one though and always settled better for me as she knew mum would pick her up and cuddle her more.

If she wakes at 5 now for an early wake and mum goes on, she's up for the day. If I go in she gives me a look of 'shit, not you' and puts herself back to sleep for another hour.

First child didn't sleep through until she was five, controlled crying didn't work all, spent hours just sitting by the cot stroking her hand, trying to get her to sleep. second child slept through after three or four days, third child was not as good as second, but much better than the first. You just have to roll with it. The only thing I would say is bizarrely, the one who didn't sleep was a good toddler, and is quite a chilled teenager while the one who did sleep had unbelievable toddler tantrums and is a somewhat more 'assertive' teenager.

Our first was a rubbish sleeper, 2nd was a doddle though as you know what to expect. I'd rather have it that way round.

I've seen it the other way round and it doesn't look nice. I did secretly chuckle a bit though....

not just me then 🙂

Thanks for all the advice.

Re food she was breast only till 6 months then bottle since then. We started her on solids at the same time.

She has less milk than some of her peers so we thought it might be hunger but we have tried forcing it in but she refuses point blank.

She is still next to us in the bed side cot, we were in the process of moving her to her own room before Christmas but she was in hospital with Bronchiolitis so so we didn't have the heart to move her, but will do soon

People have recommended the cry it out method but not sure I have it in my locker at the moment but have to try something different

Thanks again!

Managed a sneaky night in the pub, hence the late reply

Blimey OP - I really feel for you. We have been massively fortunate with our little dot; he will be eight months soon and only wakes for a snack at about 3am - he sleeps from about 6.30pm until about 6am. We aren't doing anything different to you, apart from being in his own room. We moved him out at about 8 weeks despite all the official advise.

Good luck.

OP. Yup; Sadly it's just the way that it is. Tough it out. You'll be fine in a couple of years.

For what it's worth;

Babies/babbers/toddlers are a lot like the British Army:

They knock you down through a cunning mix of sleep depravation, noise torture, stress situations and overly endearing empathy. They enforce you into a strict regime of self committed subservience.

Their ultimate plan is to destroy you, dehumanise you, and bring you up in their own image.

Once you accept and recognise those facts . . . you will be fine.

good luck.

My six week old has just gone down after screaming at me since 9pm. Progress though as the screaming started at 7pm and ended at 3am a few days ago. Wouldn't be so bad but my 3 year old was a gem of a baby. Suck it up, it'll end. Off to bed, hopefully.

In a cot or do you co-sleep?

Both ours co-slept and now in their own beds. Neither liked the cot. We have been lucky I think. Both go down at around 730 and sleep through to 630 ish. Neither of our kids liked afternoon naps unless they were really worn out from play.

Babies/babbers/toddlers are a lot like the British Army:

They knock you down through a cunning mix of sleep depravation, noise torture, stress situations and overly endearing empathy. They enforce you into a strict regime of self committed subservience.

Their ultimate plan is to destroy you, dehumanise you, and bring you up in their own image.

This is so true

Just be prepared for the time they do sleep through. Because you won't, you'll be in there time and time again checking they're ok.

Bastards. Soft, beautiful, cuddly bastards that I love to bits.

LOL harsh but quite funny thread 🙂

We make it sound so wonderful and so terrible at the same time... all of us..

I have nothing much to add.. other than as someone said "in time, this will pass".

My boy is now 8 and my best friend.... We MTB every weekend, he's even teaching my to jump and drop 🙂

But mine (now 6 and 8yr ) get up early every day. Like 5.30-6. So ignore anyone who says it gets better

Got to agree. Our youngest is nearly 4 and still a terrible sleeper. Often up a couple of times a night. Last night oldest one was sick (lurgy going round), wife is now feeling jippy, I'll take the day off work and currently watching CBeebies drivel. But that's the way it is.

Sorry - I can't deliver good news either.
Our 5 year old is ok now (i.e. stays asleep) but CAN wake at 5 if she feels like it.
But our two and a half year old.....has probably slept through the night 7 times in her life.

She just doesn't. We're up 3 times a night. Hopefully it might get better at three, but I'm not hopeful.

It's just one of those things and you do get used to it.

This is why we are designed to have children at 18 or whatever and not 40.

No real advice here either as nothing worked on our daughter aside from long drives or walks in the park. We tried everything. She's 8 now and often says sleep is boring as you can't do anything. She's just very, very active.

What I will say though is whatever you do, find time for you and the Mrs. Sleep deprivation will put your relationship under massive pressure as you won't think straight. It's horrible but normal. My mum turned up with a chicken casserole one day and took our daughter out for a few hours. We ate then slept. It was amazing.

Be prepared. My five year old got up this morning, switched the TV and playstation on. Loaded up youtube and put the volume up FULL. The sound of Optimus Prime at 7am at full whack was an interesting experience for all of us....

Controlled crying worked miracles for us after 9 months of no sleep and the boy ending up in our bed at 0300. He learnt to self settle.

This worked for us to. Prepare yourselves, prepare the neighbours. But, if it works, it is like all your Christmases have come at once.

We gave her a big feed, dummy in a left the room. After 1 min went in, replaced the dummy and lay her down (no cuddles), then left her to cry for 2 minutes, then repeat 3 mins, 4 mins etc.

It was hard, it took a couple of hours and my wife and I both snarled at each other for it being my/her fault but eventually she fell asleep and then slept though the night ans subsequent nights

Keeping the expanding timings rigid really helps as it feels like a target (think the reverse of downward spiral on Sufferfest)

It worked for us, that doesn't guarantee it will work for you though. No harm in trying.

My 15 month old daughter has never slept through and is getting worse and worse. For a few month she would settle in her cot by being boobed to sleep and the wife and I would then have a few hours on the sofa together. After her 1 year jabs she won't settle in her room so my wife just goes to bed with her at 7pm.
My wife won't try any other method other than the boob, definitely not cry it out, a few times she's lost it and I've had to take over for 30 minutes but as soon as my daughter cries my wife can't stand it and comes back in. To be honest I get a good deal as I get the evenings to myself and sleep in the spare room, but I don't see as being helpful to our relationship.
During the day my daughter is amazing though, so it's all worth it, just.

So no advice from me, just solidarity that many of us are in a similar boat.

My friends son, who is about two and a half, has taken to waking up in the early hours and standing behind the baby gate repeating one of the two following phrases.

"Daddy dead" or "Goodnight ghost boy" 😯

Mine might be a restless sleeper and need one of us with him, but at least I get a kiss, followed by

"Goodnight Daddy, goodnight beard" 🙂

I know it works for some but the cry it out method to me, seems harsh. The way I see it is bub is calling out and if you let them cry it out then I interpret that as "well, they aint coming, they dont love me, sod it, I'll just stop and go to sleep". I'm sure there's a whole science behind it but that's how it seems to me.

I am [u]not[/u] criticizing anyone that does this, or has had success with it, just so that's clear!

Might be some helpful info here...
https://www.maggiedent.com/common-concerns/sleep-issues/

An interesting thing that came out when my wife was having counselling to deal with with the insomnia (brought on by our younger child's inadvertent psychological torture) was that the distress she felt being awake in the night on her own was related to those same emotions she suffered as a baby/toddler when her mother left her to cry at night, as was more the norm in those days.

It's only in recent times that human babies have slept without their parents - we've had hundreds of thousands of years of co-sleeping, so it's not unreasonable that many struggle to sleep alone.

Whilst I'm on my soapbox, did everyone know that Gina Ford doesn't have any children of her own?!!

I know it works for some but the cry it out method to me, seems harsh. The way I see it is bub is calling out and if you let them cry it out then I interpret that as "well, they aint coming, they dont love me, sod it, I'll just stop and go to sleep". I'm sure there's a whole science behind it but that's how it seems to me.

Alt view.

I really really want to be asleep, I'm so tired, and i just don't know how to do it, so i'll revert to my standard MO for any time I want something.

All the 'cry it out' exponents will say you need to check first for hunger, pain, too hot, too cold, shitty arse, and so on, but if none of those fit then it's probably just too tired. Learning the skill to self settle is part of growing up. Some kids just get it, others need 'training', which does sound harsh but it's no different to training them to use a spoon, or to use the potty. The yelling is only really uncomfortable for the listener and it's only yelling because that's currently their only mode of expressing anything.

[My kids are 10 and 12 now and still get really ratty when they're too tired; they now just express it differently. I don't think 'they're too tired, let me see if I can give them some food / read them a book and see if that stops the rattiness'. I tell them to go to bed (and stop being obnoxious little shits)]

the distress she felt being awake in the night on her own was related to those same emotions she suffered as a baby/toddler

Posts crossed; I'm less supportive for abandoning a toddler, who has far more complex needs - but also far more complex ability to string you along if they sense weakness, the little ****ers.

Joyful last night.
11:30 decided to have a night poo so clean up had a drink and back to sleep.
Then 3:30 he wakes up an starts sneezing. That was a strange one, then he wakes up at 4 for a short while.
Love the little git but damn it's annoying, then he goes and smiles at you at half 6 in the morning and somehow you forget it all

Scanning through the thread I thought for a moment that someone else was using the 'Frank Sinatra' method too...

Our elder one, who's almost 4, is a big fan of Sinatra (favourite song "You Make Me Feel So Young") and we just had about a week of her not being able to get to sleep because when she closed her eyes she kept remembering the (not very) scary thing from Wallace & Gromit. She wanted to listen to stories on her CD player but she kept appearing downstairs through the evening each night until finally falling asleep at 10pm or so.

Then I suggested she have some music to listen to. "Songs For Swinging Lovers" did the trick, she was asleep just after 8! It's rather pleasant heading up the stairs hearing that album coming out of her room, feels like I'm living in a cool film or something...

pat12- do you want a copy of this to have a read of:

[img] [/img]

I'll stick it in the post if you do.

It's quite old now but an interesting read in general to understand phases of sleep etc. even if it doesn't solve your problem. It describes numerous different sleep issues so you can identify your problems and then discusses how you can help resolve them.

I have an 11 month old who wouldn't sleep for more than 1.5 hours and it was taking its toll on me.

My wife got a "sleep consultant" which I thought was the biggest pile of shite going and a complete waste of £250.

Baby now sleeps 7pm to 7am every night with no wake ups.

Without question the best value for money I ever spent.

http://www.good-sleeps.co.uk

Pretty sure that's who we used

Edit - did not involve cry it out

No advice to give, but you asked for others' experiences.

First born slept through from six weeks - we thought "this is easy!"
Second born didn't sleep through for two years. Not sure we did much differently. Shows that they're all different.

Best of luck OP.

[img] [/img]

We got a copy of this. Utterly useless, but makes you laugh.

Your NCT friends are liars....

Check out the wonder weeks book. If I recall correctly (now at 17 months) there is a period of regression around 9-11 months where they start to wake more.

my kid's three and a bit years old now, and I think he's slept through maybe four times in his life so far. A couple of wake-ups per night is routine. We've tried a lot of different things to get through it!

Not exactly encouraging, but you can sort of get used to it, shellshock survivor and all that. I do worry about the long-term effects it could be having on my wife, who bears the brunt of it.

hhhmmmm I've got an order in for a new human to arrive this summer. Does anyone know if they do free returns?

Haha, my first is due a week after my 38th birthday 🙂
Interesting times ahead!

I've got a 3 week old so I feel your pain. Obviously still too young to be in a routine yet so just having to man up on the lack of sleep front.

Going to work on 3 hours sleep has been emotional - little sod has been impossible to settle until 2-3am except the last 2 nights. The wife has got her settled by midnight by bathing / baby massaging / playing white noise then a last min feed before putting her in the Moses basket.

Slept through until almost 3 then last night, then from 4 until 6. Best nights sleep I've had since she was born on NY's day!

I know it works for some but the cry it out method to me, seems harsh.

I'm a far, far better father when I've had a proper night's sleep...

The thing with controlled crying is that you are not really getting them to 'cry it out', you are instead letting them learn that it is possible to sleep without boob / feed / cuddle / dummy / singing / white noise etc etc. It is just about breaking a habit.

Lack of sleep is used as a form of torture. It is easy to joke about but it is damaging to relationships and potentially dangerous.

The sleep consultant mentioned above sounds good, I've also heard good things about them but I am also aware it is an unregulated industry so I would only go down that route with a good recommendation.

As above. Routine. Is he getting enough to eat. Let then cry (tough)

Not every kid is a manipulative bastard. Some are just really insecure. You need to be able to tell the difference before you start abandoning them.

I think at that age they haven't learnt to be an arse, so there must be something wrong if they cry. We don't believe in the CIO method, but different folks......

Is she crawling yet/getting exercise? Does she get enough to eat? Is she cold? Can she roll over? Does she do so when she sleeps?

Ours never slept for more than 2 hours until he was 13 months old.

It was a combination of the above.

Best of luck.

That's all I have to offer the OP.

Our 5 year old goes through unless his eczema is playing up. However the going through didn't happen until about age 4 though, prior to which he was awful at going to bed and awful at going through. Our second one has just started doing regular full nights aged 2 and prior to that generally woke once for a feed/change/still-sleepy-quick-back-to-sleep.

We're still woken up about 1 in 3 nights.

I hate the lack of sleep thing, it does my swede.

So glad that others have toddlers / older babies that don't sleep through. Broken sleep is the worst part of it. Like others have said make time for you and your partner. If anybody offers help, take it and then go to sleep.

4 week old baby here. Wish I hadn't read this thread 🙁

5 month old twins, used the controlled crying method about 7 weeks ago and now they're straight off at 7pm, they do still wake at about 2 but are then back off again till 7am.

Went to bed at 2200 last night.

Three year old shouting at midnight.

Six year old awake and shouting at 0445.

[b]@njee20[/b] - It's not always this bad, don't be disheartened; my five year old has been sleeping through most (not all, but [i]most[/i]) nights since he was six weeks.

I can [i]almost[/i] look at this thread and reminisce. Ours is 15 months and until a month ago was up several times a night. Now he either wakes up once at around 3am and goes back to sleep after a bottle until 6.30 ish, or (far worse) sleeps from bedtime at 19.30 until around 5.00. Manageable. This all goes to pot if he has any sort of upset though - cough, temperature, needs a poo, too hot, teething etc which is basically all the time 🙄

My sage advice would be:
1) it WILL get better, and you'll be looking back wondering what the fuss was about.
2) make time for each other. Sleep deprivation is horrible and will turn you (and your wife) into a crabby asshole. Make sure you find the time to be nice to your other half.
3) if you get a chance to have a lie in, grasp it with both hands! And return the favour some time.

It does get better. My 5 year old has been sleeping from 19:00-07:00 for about 4 years now.

@dooosuk Thanks very kind offer! I do have that book however, its in a pile with a few by Gina Ford, a couple of gentle sleep ones, some by self proclaimed baby whisperers and a couple of weird looking American ones. All marked must read when have spare moment (nine months and still waiting!)

Thanks for everyone's comments this thread has made me feel better, with out actually making me feel better 🙂

A friend of ours had a rule "What ever gets said in the night is forgotten in the morning" seems appropriate.

She is just trying to crawl at the moment and eating more substantial amounts of solids, hoping when either of those get established things may change.

She did sleep 8 till 12 solid last night but previous nights this week was up every 30 mins.

I did under underestimate how hard it would be (you can see why sleep deprivation is a form of torture). However i've never regretted it for a single second.

For anyone expecting... a) you might get a perfect sleeper, b) even if you don't the good times far outweigh the bad ones.

the sleep consultants look interesting, i think i will ride it out unless it really starts to impact my job/relationship then have to try a different tack.

Thanks Again

@dooosuk Thanks very kind offer! I do have that book however, its in a pile with a few by Gina Ford, a couple of gentle sleep ones, some by self proclaimed baby whisperers and a couple of weird looking American ones. All marked must read when have spare moment (nine months and still waiting!)

Thanks for everyone's comments this thread has made me feel better, with out actually making me feel better

A friend of ours had a rule "What ever gets said in the night is forgotten in the morning" seems appropriate.

She is just trying to crawl at the moment and eating more substantial amounts of solids, hoping when either of those get established things may change.

She did sleep 8 till 12 solid last night but previous nights this week was up every 30 mins.

I did under underestimate how hard it would be (you can see why sleep deprivation is a form of torture). However i've never regretted it for a single second.

For anyone expecting... a) you might get a perfect sleeper, b) even if you don't the good times far outweigh the bad ones.

the sleep consultants look interesting, i think i will ride it out unless it really starts to impact my job/relationship then have to try a different tack.

Thanks Again

That's a lovely post if I may say so. Our first since 6/8wks old has slept through the night (is 14 mo), waking more regularly only when ill. Reading this thread over the last few days however, has put the fear into me about number 2 being a 'nightmare' by comparison haha. Don't know why i'm doing that to myself but the above post brought me back some sense and perspective! The good definitly outweighs the bad, so i echo the above comments to those new dads out there!

The day times definitely outweigh the night time 🙂

Our two year old co-slept with us up until a couple of weeks ago. He was breast fed till 20 months and we only tried a bottle once and he rejected it immediately.

We tried the controlled crying thing twice and it broke our hearts, and we swore never to do it after the second try. It was horrendous for all of us, especially him.

The broken sleep has been difficult but manageable. Since weaning him off the boob completely he's stopped waking up for it in the night and he only wakes now if he's unwell, random poo, or is too hot.

It get better, everyone will have a technique that workes/worked for their child and no two children are the same. Do what feels instinctive and natural for you.

We met a family (parents both doctors) with a baby girl a little younger than our boy. While chatting about our kids I said he co-slept with us etc etc and their faces just lit up when they realised it wasn't so crazy after all...

They'd felt like they were seriously bad parents for doing it. The pressure to get your baby into its own bed and to sleep through the night is mental.

Totally. We gave up listening to all the tales of wonderful sleepers etc and equally did not take any joy when ours was good.
Do what you need to do, don;t be afraid to try crying etc. , we got a sleep person as well via Plunket (we were in NZ) and she sorted us out but we were broken by then. Teething starts it all up again but literally the day ours got her last tooth she went to bed for 12 hours and continues to do so - occasional nighttime invasions but brief and usually to answer a complicated question !

So glad that others have toddlers / older babies that don't sleep through.

My youngest didn't sleep through until she was 9. Quite often I'd be woken in the middle of the night to a high pitched, blood curdling scream. We think she used to have night terrors, as when she was a baby, she was fine, but from around 2 onwards was awake 2 or 3 times a night.

We did controlled crying with my eldest, and he has been fine ever since he was a baby. Broke my heart at the time though.

EDIT: - crazy thing is, now the kids sleep ok, we have a dog who gets up at 6.30 every morning, including the weekends