So I've developed a...
 

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So I've developed a tic...

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Maybe not a tic, but a serious fidget. Just my fingers twitch and fidget while I'm sat with nothing in my hands, like watching telly. Got worse over the last year. 

It drives MrsMC mad. To the point that she can't bear to be able to see me do it, will go upstairs to avoid it/me, or like now has built a wall of cushions between us on the sofa so she can't see me. She thinks it's my anxiety, or a reaction to my meds being increased.

Safe to say this is causing some tension. I'm desperately trying not to twitch, she's desperately trying not to react.

Anyone got any suggestions? Do I just need a fidget spinner? Which one of us needs therapy?

 
Posted : 28/03/2025 9:58 pm
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I've been doing it most of my life. Good luck.

 
Posted : 28/03/2025 10:27 pm
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I think you both need to have an adult conversation, I guess it's nothing you have much control over & your not doing it to annoy her but it is causing her some irritation?
My late wife had along with many things from her MS, Proximal Reflex so when she brought her hand up near her face it would shake really badly often causing her to injure herself. It upset me but I knew there was little she could do apart from reduce the need for that. We worked around it and I helped her when I could.
Sounds like you could both do with the help of some medical intervention to bottom out the cause & effect.

 
Posted : 28/03/2025 10:28 pm
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Give it a name.How about binners!

 
Posted : 28/03/2025 10:32 pm
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Posted by: MoreCashThanDash
She thinks it's my anxiety, or a reaction to my meds being increased.

 

My guess is she ia right and you need to tell your GP

 

Are you still going to work?  Being heavily medicated to get you thru a day at work is not healthy

 

 
Posted : 28/03/2025 10:42 pm
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Posted by: MoreCashThanDash

Which one of us needs therapy?

It might be MrsMC is overly sensitive (personally I do react strongly to movement so someone fidgeting a lot would be extremely aggravating) and might benefit from asking a doctor (I havent so do as I say not as I do) but since you say it has got worse and there has been a change in medication I would start by asking your doctor for advice.

 

 
Posted : 28/03/2025 11:31 pm
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Speaking as a engineer*

If you're just sitting watching the telly or something equally inconsequential, could you try a bit of meditation or mindfulness to break the habit? 

*Who's advice would be much better applied to industrial maintenance, I'll be pleased for an actual expert to tell me I'm wrong.

 
Posted : 28/03/2025 11:47 pm
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Worth getting checked out, especially if there’s family history. 

 
Posted : 29/03/2025 12:07 am
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Get a Rubik's Cube.

 
Posted : 29/03/2025 1:30 am
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Encourage your wife to get a tac toe cancel each other out.

Also this is your chance to get a dog on medical frounds.

But seriously. Doctor.

 

 
Posted : 29/03/2025 6:42 am
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Posted by: tjagain

Posted by: MoreCashThanDash
She thinks it's my anxiety, or a reaction to my meds being increased.

 

My guess is she ia right and you need to tell your GP

 

Are you still going to work?  Being heavily medicated to get you thru a day at work is not healthy

 

I'm not sure 40mg of Citalopram is "heavily medicated", but you're right, a chat with the GP is the place to start.

A dog would probably create as much chaos as it would solve.

As for naming it, spending time sat on the sofa fiddling with "binners" is a truly terrifying mental image 😳 

 

 
Posted : 29/03/2025 7:46 am
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Does it coincide with JD Vance appearing on screen? I'm finding myself inadvertently making a fist at such points.. HTH

 
Posted : 29/03/2025 9:35 am
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I fidget all the time; drives my wife nuts (I say she has misokinesia, she says "sit bloody still")

We don't have a dog.  Makes you think

 
Posted : 29/03/2025 1:25 pm
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Posted by: tthew

Speaking as a engineer

So are you recommending a fidget spanner ?

 
Posted : 29/03/2025 2:34 pm
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Posted by: dyna-ti

So are you recommending a fidget spanner ?

No, I'm recommending my advice is worth what it cost!

 
Posted : 30/03/2025 8:12 am
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Posted by: tthew

Posted by: dyna-ti

So are you recommending a fidget spanner ?

No, I'm recommending my advice is worth what it cost!

Invaluable?

 

 
Posted : 30/03/2025 8:18 am
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Not necessarily a fidget spinner required but there are options here https://flappyhappystim.com that don't involve noisy actions that may help you with stimming.

 
Posted : 07/04/2025 8:01 am
 lamp
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If this has just developed, have you experienced a shock or has your stress levels increased recently? If so, look at managing the stress and see what happens. Also, try and optimise your magnesium levels.

 
Posted : 08/04/2025 11:17 am

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