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It really, really does need that bridge, and possibly played on a piano or accordion.
Work on the accuracy and consistency(pressure) of your fingering, it's all over the place.
The vocal sounds forced,it sounds like your voice is trying to work at a higher pitch and you're forcing it to go low and as a result, the overall timbre seems to drift about quite a lot. You might need to accept that you have a higher pitched voice than you'd like.
Having said all that, I quite like the lyrics and what the song could be with a little work though.
Exactly the same as when you posted it earlier today. So i've posted exactly the same response.
ah I forgot I'd posted it earlier!!
I do that......:)