[Closed] So Englebert Humperdinck is going to be our Eurovision entry....

I saw this on FB and assumed it was a joke. How wrong I was.
I though eurovision was about new talent, not washed up coffin dodgers?

It's not as silly as it sounds. In some parts of Slovakia he's revered as a living god figure, apparently, so there's a few votes right there.

If we're up for another battering from Europe, Israel and Kazakhstan 😐 let Engelbert take on for the team.

I can't hear his name without seguing into Eddie Izzard.

His name changed from Gerry Dorsey to Engelbert Humperdinck.

I mean, I just wanted to be in the room when they were working that one through: "Zingelbert Bembledack! Yingybert Dambleban! Zangelbert Bingledack! Wingelbert Humptyback! … Slut Bunwalla!"

"What?!"

"All right, Kringelbert Fishtybuns! Steviebuns Bottrittrundle –"

"No, Gerry Dorsey! I like Gerry Dorsey!"

"No, we can't, who we got? Zingelbert Bembledack, Tringelbert Wangledack, Slut Bunwalla, Klingybun Fistelvase, Dindlebert Zindledack, Gerry Dorsey, Engelbert Humptyback, Zengelbert Bingledack, Engelbert Humperdinck, Vingelbert Wingledanck –"

"No, no, go back one!"

High time we started taking the piss out of Eurovision properly.

Next year we should send Davey Jones.

Its actually even better than it first seems. Englebert will be singing a little ditty written by the bloke who wrote "You're Beautiful" for James Blunt

What's not to like? It really is a dream ticket! 😀

He's got to wear this - he just has to!

[img] [/img]

That'll teach Europe to diss Blue. 👿

martinhutch - Member
High time we started taking the piss out of Eurovision properly.

Next year we should send Davey Jones.

Both of the DJ's I know of are "in a locker"... :-/

Eurovisyawn

Touch of genius.Not like it's a music competition after all.

I think it's a genius choice. Eurovision is supposed to be fun, so let's have a bit of fun with it.

I went to the semi-finals last year in Dusseldorf. Brilliant night, what a laugh 🙂

One of my mates is married to a Swedish lass who apparently, like her country folk, goes nuts for Eurovision. Back home they have huge parties and all the other bollocks that goes with it.

All very harmless I'm sure, but please, do get a life.

[i]Back home they have huge parties and all the other bollocks that goes with it.[/i]

What do you mean 'back home', we have them here.

[i]All very harmless I'm sure, but please, do get a life.[/i]

Or indeed, cheer up you cynical s0d.

Back home they have huge parties and all the other bollocks that goes with it.

Have you ever been anywhere near the Village when its on?

That pic is very revealing - clearly he sired Wolverine and possibly the idea of collagen lip enhancement...

Eurovision is supposed to be fun

I think it's only the English who think of it as a bit of a joke. Everyone else seems to take it far too seriously. If you're not going to win, nuls points is the only respectable result.

I've seen that photo before somewhere.

[img] [/img]

Eurovision is ace I luv it

Where else can you get an evening of really bad europop and completely biased voting. It's best with the subtitles on. We generally have a party pick a country out of hat and use it as an excuse to get massively pissed.

Isnt that what it's for?

[i]Eurovision is ace I luv it

Where else can you get an evening of really bad europop and completely biased voting. It's best with the subtitles on. We generally have a party pick a country out of hat and use it as an excuse to get massively pissed.

Isnt that what it's for?[/i]

Amen sister!

I dunno what it's for, but it ain't for me!
It's some kind of parallel universe where I don't understand the music.

GENIUS

We have a Eurovision Party every year. Get in the booze and nibbles and watch the obviously bent voting.

The scoring formula goes like this.

1) If you can hear the sound of them revving their tank engines. – 20 points

2) If they could cut off your gas supply at the flick of a switch - 18 points

3) If they were once a part of the same nation (forgetting the small issue of genocide and ethnic cleansing) – 16 to 8 points

4) If they share the same hatred as you of the English – 6 points

5) If they are Ireland – 5 points

6) If they tolerate your illegal fishing in their coastal waters – 4 points

7) If the singer flashed her gusset* – 3 points

8 ) If the singer was an idiot dressed in some sort of tin foil covered gnome costume (France in other words) – 2 points

9) Folkie type song with a violin or accordion – 1 point

10) If you are a former imperial power**, member of the UN Security Council, rich industrial nation, if you are Israel or Belgium, if they are underwriting your national debt or actually paying for the production of Eurovision – 0 points

*A German gusset will get no votes from the Greeks (see point 10)

**Malta will always give the UK 12 points or more.

So, the winner will be a Ukrainian who plays the accordion and flashes her pants, irrespective of whether she can sing or not.

what emsz said but tbh i usually go to "village" friends houses.
HtS
Genius 😀

Your cynicism and abject failure to comprehend the subtleties of Eurovision baffles Engelbert:

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Engelbert is GREAT Britain.

😉

Harry - my cousin is a big gambler. Once, on the morning before the Eurovision, he basically ran through exactly that logic, did a quick overview of the present political climate, and then (correctly) predicted the winner. He'd put 20 dabs on them at 25-1.

All without having to listen to any of the god-awful songs. Result! 😀

Tis true! The winner will be from the former Soviet Block or Yugoslavia. The only thing that will prevent this is if the Fins put on a girl on girl floor show to the sound of violins.

LoLing at Harry I'm sure there was a girl singing a couple of years ago that I'd seen in an erm....video.

Got a link?

Tatu?

Urghrovision

I remember being impressed by the 2006 Moldivian entry, with the girl managing 4 costume 'changes' in the space of one song:

A German gusset will get no votes

This is proof of that.

Soundly beated by a tuneless Turkish lady with facial hair dressed as a penguin.

Soundly beated by a tuneless Turkish lady with facial hair dressed as a penguin.

When you put it like that - why [i]wouldn't[/i] you vote to see it again, if only to check on your own sanity?

Her facial hair was dressed as a penguin?

Yes. A Penguin.

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Epic Sax Guy is still soloing away from a few years ago

My first pet goldfish was called Englebert.

I heard on the radio this morning that his last hit was about a Lesbian Seagull, so I'm expecting great things for the contest.