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Just had my vasectomy, that was an interesting experience. 😐
I've got nothing better to do today, so I'm going to overshare. I walked in to the surgery at about 9.45, shook hands with Dr Khan, then met the two middle-aged female nurses - right, I'm sure they've seen it all before, better get on with it then. Lower half off, lie on table, chat about work whilst having your bits shaved and disinfected, that was very strange. After the anaesthetic kicked in it was mostly just mildly uncomfortable, a general rummaging sensation with a few twinges, accompanied by the unpleasant smell of your own insides being cauterised. Once it was done I had the opportunity to view the excised vases (vasae? vasii?), they were 4-5 cm long, about the width of a gear cable outer, white and lumpy. Cool.
The whole thing took about 20 minutes, and probably rates somewhere between a root canal filling and dinner with the in-laws in terms of unpleasantness, so far: the anaesthetic hasn't worn off yet. But I've taken my co-codamol so hopefully it won't be too horrible.
I've got the sofa booked for the next day or two, and am sat with a load of junk food ready for some serious Netflixing. Hit me up with some puns, jokes, horror stories about your own snip, or just take the piss, whatever.
Do not google scrotal abscess.
I repeat, do not google scrotal abscess.
A mate had one.
He wasn't a happy chap (and neither was his chap).
boys and their bits 😕
I drove myself home and for the first time ever regretted the heated seats in the car.
I had it done 2 yrs ago, best bit was waiting room banter beforehand. I went alone but some blokes had wives there taking the piss.
Comedy gold
Do not google scrotal abscess.
*adds item to list of things I definitely didn't need to know existed*
Bookmarked! Going to get it sorted after this year's racing is done. Heard lots of stories about aches down below that go on for months, putting me off a bit 😕
The fun starts when you have to **** into them little bottles and send them off, they say they'll keep in touch ...they never write.. they never phone ....
Sounds terrible - you really should have much stronger painkillers and round the clock care for at least a week...
Rachel
ps - If mintimperial gets to overshare, does that mean I can???
pps - welcome back Emsz from wherever you went o/
They obviously gave you sufficient anaesthetic before they started cutting, for which you should be grateful. Sometimes they underestimate how much is required. Sometimes they repeat this mistake while still on the first plum. And then again on his neighbour. Bastards.
They obviously gave you sufficient anaesthetic before they started cutting, for which you should be grateful.
Actually they did have to top me up a little bit on the left hand side, it was a bit wince-inducing for a moment or two there. Sounds like you had it much worse though. 😯
If mintimperial gets to overshare, does that mean I can???
Go for it, I'm all for an equal-opportunities discussion of reproductive plumbing in general.
Try and stay off the pain killers as they could make you constipated and “straining at the stool” could blow your newly fitted cylinder head gasket.
Stay off the bike for a week or so. I rattled my knackers on the nose of the saddle about 10 days post snip and had to lay in the dirt and have a little cry for a while. Not my finest moment.
I am considering getting this done this year. Reading the above has not encouraged me to speed things along at all, or boosted my enthusiasm.
Proper wary of having my bits messed with.
Rach,
things to do, y'know...
ooh can we all overshare? although I suspect Rach is gonna win
[i]although I suspect Rach is gonna win [/i]
We've reached the 'overshare on stw' quota for today, haven't we? Please say we have 😉
First **** afterwards was a bit odd. It felt "gurgly" like what happens when you are finishing a milkshake.
I'm seriously considering this, I couldn't possible cope with another baby like our second 😉
How long were you on the waiting list minty?
Ugh brant takes an early lead!
Stay off the bike for a week or so.
Yeah, I was planning on two weeks or so minimum to be on the safe side, don't want an infection. Might play on the BMX first rather than anything with a high-saddle...
First **** afterwards was a bit odd. It felt "gurgly" like what happens when you are finishing a milkshake.
Hahahaha, christ... 😆
How long were you on the waiting list minty?
Couple of months but apparently they normally turn it round quicker than that, I think the surgeon went skiing or something.
I just blew a puff of dust
[i]First **** afterwards was a bit odd. It felt "gurgly" like what happens when you are finishing a milkshake.[/i] 😆 😯
What????
I just can't face it...
Gawd, it sounds just awful, I picked a mate up afterwards and he said the worst bit was the 'tugging' sensation.
😳
It's not for me.
[i]the worst bit was the 'tugging' sensation.[/i]
For me it was the sound the scissors made.
Sort of scissory but with distinct visceral overtones.
Rapidly going off the idea, maybe celibacy is a better option
The worst part for me was my 3 yo jumping on my lap the day after and kneeing me in the fork. Mum didn't appreciate my entirely reflex action of throwing him across the room.
When the doc said "help me with this knot, press your finger here...".
God, imagine if blokes had to have smear tests, you'd never hear the end of it. 😆
^ Imagine if we had to give birth!
I had mine done in my local surgery after seeing the doctor for a 5 min consultation!!!! .. After we had twins I thought it's the best way forward? My partner took me to the surgery, parked outside was a tractor(I live in the FOD) so not a unusual sight. Was in and out in less the 25 mins and everything was fine until I was changing nappies on the bed and the babies kick out as they do..... Omg! But never less...I lived to tell this tale!!
emsz - Oh don't - they've started hassling me for one again...
Glad to hear things haven't moved along much in the 20 years since I had mine done! I drove home - 20+ miles on country roads "briskly" flat out on the Sofa before the anaesthetic wore off, G&T in hand, wife and kids detailed off on life support tasks for the w/e, back to work on the Monday! No shaving for me which made the cauterising something of a fire risk! Its a weird sensation squinting down the length of your body to see smoke rising from your crotch. I was rowing competitively at the time, missed one outing mid week, back in the boat the following w/e. Spectacular bruising when it came out....
[i]imagine if blokes had to have smear tests, you'd never hear the end of it.[/i]
you don't hear too many tales of prostate examination on here from the more mature posters.
I think there's something inherently funny/squeam inducing for blokes around having their bits either interfered with by medical professionals or being smashed into stationary objects
Wasn't Dr Genghis Khan was it?
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Sounds like thegreatape had the same surgical team I had. Bastards!
I got the entire female staff population gathered round - and quite a few passersby who had been given spare uniforms - who all wanted to admire and comment on how well I had shaved beforehand. I mean, how hard is it?
Although someone I know managed to slice his sack open with a beard trimmer in preparation for his snip. Shocking hand-eye coordination for a BA pilot.
Another mate decided to get circumcised at the same time. Something or other got infected. Three months off work wearing nothing but extra big tee shirts.
Try not to enjoy your wife's gratitude at this very physical manifestation of your commitment to your relationship* until you have healed properly.
See if you can find the vasectomy episode of Home Improvement. Comedy gold that all men will appreciate.
* I haven't the heart to tell her I just didn't want any more kids!
You want prostate tales? You can't handle prostate tales.
Worst bit - the small of bacon as they cauterise the tubes...
All female team for me too. Too old to be embarrassed though. Pretty much pain free, and no infection. No regrets.
My mate had a severe temperature a few days after his. Thankfully he actually had flu rather than an infection down there.
prostate a piece of cake ( toast actually after the act) its the bowel cleansing that we dont want to talk about.. i ve had the probe and the doctors finger... best ever though were the 'scrotal lumps' went to docs.. got these lumps in my scrotum .. ok the docs on holiday the stand in will see you..middle aged grandma type asks me to go behind the screen and drop em lie on bed someone will be in to examine me.. in walks 25 ish blond, white blouse short black skirt extremly attractive young lady.. i was in heaven for 10 minutes.. i ve been back twice since..
Don't forget the ice. Some for your G&T and some regular ice packs down there will help reduce the swelling and improve and speed up your recovery.
My procedure went really well, a friend on the other hand got an infection which led to an abscess, but you don't want to know about that. 🙂
bloody hell... some horror stories there. Mine was smashed out in 15mins... tiny little injection, 1 little cut, a little tugging (not in a good way) and over & done. Drove myself home and carried on as normal. A little achey for 24hrs and then not even a thought since.... that was 18mths ago!
Best decision ever.
All female team for me too. Too old to be embarrassed though. Pretty much pain free, and no infection. No regrets.
Funny how you really don't care when you get older. Had a bladder inspection that involved a camera being shoved down the eye. All female team. They even did a quick prostrate check while they were down there.
Mine was a breeze
Got driven home afterwards, but would have been fine driving myself home.
Back to work the next day on my Brompton.
Worst bit was the endless samples I had to take in. I'm sure they do it just to pi55 us off!
Worst bit for me was submitting samples. Because it was deemed "non essential" I had my snip done out of area or face an 8 month wait. All was fine until I had to submit my post snip samples which had to go to an associated hospital within the health authority which did the op. The problem being, I live fractionally over the "submit within an hour" parameters they were looking for.
This meant having to have a Jodrell Bank outside the comfort of my own home. While I wasn't really comfortable with the prospect of emerging triumphantly from the hospital gents with a post episode boner and a warm phial of jizz, the only other option was the back of my van (which thankfully is limo tinted). Having to hand the phial to an attractive technician and seeing the "Eugh its still warm!" expression on her face, is not the easiest thing to explain. Her subsequent realisation when she cross checked it against my address only clarified that it was fresh. They also have to ask when the sample was produced so when I'd reply "oh less than 10 minutes ago in the car park" always raised an eyebrow and much disapproval. Worse still was that it took a further excruciating six of these visits, until I was officially declared semi-skimmed!
Apparently in the US, they have developed a technique where they fit little clamps (like tiny little Klippits!) on the tubes instead of cutting them. Hope they hurry up and introduce that on the NHS, sounds far better!
redted 😀 😀
[i]Hope they hurry up and introduce that on the NHS[/i]
We'd get the economy version;
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I'm hoping they perfect [url= http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reversible_inhibition_of_sperm_under_guidance ]this[/url] before I need one.
Prostate Tales sounds like the worst saturday morning cartoon ever.
Mine was fine, just a bit weird chatting as they cut'n'stitch your goolies.
Shaving till you're left with a baby mole isn't much fun either, not the cackling from the wife whilst doing so.
Sample time coming up, but they seem a bit more relaxed 'just get it to the desk before 10:00' .. not sure they've warned the desk..
Managed to pick up some horrible fluey stomach bug whilst there which actually did floor me a few days later. Never go to hospitals, full of sick people.
Oh, the joy of the high speed sample dash...
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I'm getting this in a few weeks. Day before my shift starts (firefighter) so I don't think I'll be in for the days at least. Reading the "pleasant" tales above has made me slightly less confident and easy going about the whole thing.
Prostate Tales sounds like the worst saturday morning cartoon ever.
It is!
The team are all matter of fact. The registrar/consultant had a firm approach to the manual prostate check. He was cleaning his hands before I had got my trousers back on!
The houseman in Urology was a very pleasant looking young lady of Asian descent ably assisted by two long-term nursing women. Face the wall Sandwich we're just going to insert the long ultrasound probe where the sun don't shine. Now the anaesthetic. This is the sound the biopsy needle makes as it does it's thing (industrial upholstery staple gun type noise). We'll just take the 12 samples, no.6 went into a bit with all the pain receptors still firing.
All done and sit up. Leak blood from your maps eye!! OMFG what are those hideous things (net underwear, disposable) and the largest sanitary pad I have ever seen, no wings mind (I felt cheated). Just wear this for the next 6 hours. I didn't feel like sky-diving or roller-skating with my new fashion garb.
Don't forget to take the antibiotics to stop infections we have just perforated your rectum 12 times which is not the cleanest part of you. You'll also pass blood in both urine and ejaculate for up to 6 weeks (strawberry shake anyone?).
By comparison the snip was a doddle.
I have to go back for another biopsy soon this one is under general and involves a big needle through the taint (perineum) with your legs in stirrups (yeehaw, ride 'em cowboy). I get to have a week off work to recover too. Lucky me.
Toughen up lightweights 😛
I rode my trail bike(650 single) 35 miles to the hospital appointment as the local place had a long waiting list. Nobody told me about taking shoes ,so I walked up to the table in the backless gown and a pair of MX boots(imagine Mad Max going for the snip) 😉 .
While the Op was going on I had a laugh with the surgeon and nurses about house bricks being clapped together,and was all the shaving really needed,it all went fine,no big deal.
Out the building ,back on the bike and down the road ,all good.
No bruising, no issues ,and not much pain after the meds wore off.
But ..a week later I stood up on a desk at work to open a window and for some crazy reason ,jumped back down to the floor 😯 oh lordy,that was not a smart move 😥 🙂
Toughen up lightweights
One of the nurses said she'd recently had someone ride their bike in and back about 10 miles. She did use the adjective 'dickhead' though 😀
I hope the OP isn't local to me as his vas will be in a pot on my work bench when I get back from lunch
Was grand for me. 6 weeks min off the bike was the hardest part.
"baby mole" 😆
La la la not listening. 😯
Shame one of the posters on here didn't have the snip before having children seeing as he cant be bothered paying maintenance for them
Taddy Wrangler eh R D?
Harry_the_Spider - Member
Oh, the joy of the high speed sample dash...
Not needed as they aren't looking for motility (that's a fertility issue) just presence of sperm, doesn't matter if they are dead or not. If they are present in your semen sample the procedure hasn't worked.
Not telling my tale again, other than it obviously differs by clinic whether you need to be shaved or not. I didn't need to be.
My mate is a particularly hairy - like Chewbacca in a wig factory - and before he had his, another mate forged a letter from the hospital telling him he needed to have shaved and washed the immediate area before going in. Apparently the surgical team nearly pissed themselves laughing when he stripped off to reveal his unChewbaccanaccas looking like a deforested compound has been carved out of virgin rainforest. And then again when he produced the letter and they all realised what had happened.
Oh and mine was a piece of piss
Even when the anaesthetic wore off during it didn't t hurt (felt like someone flicked me ball)
Miss Houns was in there with me and stepped in to help when the nurse on duty went off out
I skipped out of the room and could easily rode my bike after
Just back from chat with the surgeon prior to mine, apparently there has been a cancellation so I'm booked in for next week, rather quicker than expected but good to get it done.
No shaving beforehand required apparently but i'm rather concerned that the stats for 'failure'( tubes rejoining of their own accord) are quite high I thought, 1 in 2000, and the only way you find out is when your wife gets pregnant!
Not needed as they aren't looking for motility (that's a fertility issue) just presence of sperm, doesn't matter if they are dead or not. If they are present in your semen sample the procedure hasn't worked.
See this really confuses me, having seen the results of the op. They're not messing about, they take an inch or two of pipework out and then burn the ends shut, how the heck are sperm going to get around that? And yet they quote a 1/2000 failure rate. Do the surgeons just get distracted half way through and forget to do the second ball or something?
[Edit: mangoridebike, is that right, the tubes rejoin? Blimey.]
rOcKeTdOg I'm in Huddersfield. What the **** do you do with people's second-hand vas anyway?
[i] What the **** do you do with people's second-hand vas anyway? [/i]
Post lunch snack by the sound of it.
wwaswas - Member
What the **** do you do with people's second-hand vas anyway?Post lunch snack by the sound of it.
Naah...[url= http://singletrackmag.com/forum/topic/101-uses-for-an-old-inner-tube-thread ]the answer is here. [/url]
Everything was going fine, chatty nurse talking rubbish to keep my mind off what was happening etc. when he then tried a "sample cut" to make sure the anaesthetic had kicked in - it hadn't..
The next couple of days were uncomfortable to say the least. I then went back to the doc when things hadn't quite "healed", showed him the wound and his reaction was just "Oooh, now that looks painful!"
Another week off work, and the infection had died down. Made slightly more bearable by the purchase of GTA4 which I hammered
I can still remember the look on the surgeons face as he stood over me holding the anesthetic syringe -"you might feel a small prick" I said to him. Anyway he wasn't laughing when I goose stepped into his face as he rummaged around in side a bit too vigourously.
They don't seem to use stiches these days,I was just to told to "pinch it together". We'll that didn't work, my other half found it hilarious when I asked where she kept her panty pads :-). It only wept for a couple of days and no pain to speak of. Root canal filing was far worse.
rOcKeTdOg I'm in Huddersfield. What the **** do you do with people's second-hand vas anyway?
Look at them under the microscope to make sure they are actually Vas, coz if ur other half gets pregnant post op you can't say & sue the NHS for not getting the right tube to cover your OHs infidelity embarrassment (it used to happen!) Other trust might not routinely do this
Look at them under the microscope to make sure they are actually Vas
Ah right, fair enough. Ever caught them sending in the wrong bits?
They don't seem to use stiches these days
Yeah, the surgeon was discussing that with the nurses, he thought it was a daft idea, so I've been put back together with good old fashioned stitches.
SNAP ,AND SNIP.
sitting on my sofa recovering from this morning's op.
No too bad so far, did need a top up on the anaesthetic which I brought to their attention with a bit of a shout.
Nurses wouldn't stop talking throughout, quite funny really, I asked them what topics they had on their list to keep my mind off it. Not as bad as I thought it would be.
What the **** do you do with people's second-hand vas anyway?
Never had a Pot Noodle?
Glad Yours went well.....I got electrocuted Twice!!! Told the daft surgeon I had pins in my ankle.....ok ok no problems he said.. and well the right side went fine but as soon as he touched the left I must of been two foot of the table in agony....stuck some more drugs in and bang...electrocuted again...was about to jack it in but for some reason let him give me a 3rd lot of drugs and it was over in seconds....all good now lol
typing pretty well for someone who had been electrocuted...
I wondered why I had to lie on an earthing pad
Pah!, try suffering with acute epididymitis. Wonderful complaint with seemingly no end, not helped by useless NHS ................
Just whip 'em off?
Pah!, try suffering with acute epididymitis. Wonderful complaint with seemingly no end, not helped by useless NHS ................
Caused by the snip....?
Unfortunately for me, my fear reflex meant that after trying for 45 mins of trying to catch and clamp my blx, the Dr said "No, this is not going to work. I'm going to refer you to get this done under general". So, the snip was not an issue.
The post op samples were though. I live a fair bit away from the hospital and had to provide warm samples. Have you ever tried to crack one out in the toilets in the gym at work when Josie the cleaner knocks on the door to check if anyone is there. Now, I've never had an issue having a Sherman before, but this time I did!
Got myself overly worried by the Liver biopsy, but it was not an issue. Flexible uroscopy - nurse holding my hand said "Don't worry, they all shrink like that". Picolax followed by the camera round to the small bowel was not an issue. Must say I am not looking forward to the prostrate biopsy......
SNAP ,AND SNIP.
*gingerly high-fives surroundedbyhills*
Well the anaesthetic and painkillers have worn off, bit achey but otherwise fine. Only problem is this weird headgear they gave me for some reason...
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