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Simple one really: following on from the "would you bollock a RLJer". Just passed a heavily pregnant woman smoking. I dallied and she went into a shop.
Wanted to say something, didn't.
Would you?
No
No.
It's completely wrong and irresponsible, and is likely to harm the baby, but in the street I wouldn't say anything as it's not 'our place'.
In surgery, then yes, I'd chirp up.
I do the same for obese people too.
DrP
I'd give her the 'look'
Same as the mums who smoke to and from school pick up walking with their kids....
It's sad, cos there's a certain "look" that children of smokers have. It affects their facial features. My nurse girlfriend can actually spot them.
Poor kid.
Would you "have a word" with any other smoker?
Some women do get more attractive during motherhood, they develop a shinny rosy glow....as for them actually smoking a cigarette, if they are that stupid a balanced and reasoned conversation with them in public will probably not go down well.
No.
Had the misfortune to catch one of those "benefits Britain" programmes the other week - mum with 9 week old baby on her shoulder while she stood there smoking and two toddlers with coke in their sipping cups 🙁
only if i was absolutely certain that i was as perfect a human being as i could be, without a stain on my character either in the past present or future. so ,yes. 😀
there's a certain "look" that children of smokers have. It affects their facial features.
*looks in mirror*
I'm intrigued. Any clue as to which features become altered...?
It's sad, cos there's a certain "look" that children of smokers have. It affects their facial features. My nurse girlfriend can actually spot them.
do you mean alcohol foetal syndrome?
Could we just draw up a list of the behavior we disaprove of, particularly when undertaken by a member of the underclass, and for some reason think we have a right to tell people they can't do? Then we can asign a sliding scale of ways to show our lofty Blairite, Nu Labour, Islingtonite style disaproval, running from:
a) A tut, with a barely perceptable shake of the head
to
z) The full on intervention of social services to have their children removed, forced sterilisation, and being forced to read the Lifesyle section of the Guardian. Even the bits on vegan cooking, recipes for placenta's and the beneficial effects of yoga, until they've seen the error of their ways
only if i was absolutely certain that i was as perfect a human being as i could be, without a stain on my character either in the past present or future. so ,yes.
Should totally have done it, then 😉
do you mean alcohol foetal syndrom
Do you mean "fetal alcohol syndrome" 😉 😉
Would you "have a word" with any other smoker?
No*. I guess in this case I kinda decided I shouldn't, but it did make me think.
*Although as an occasional smoker myself I have had many discussions about it being bad and stupid and have encouraged/helped others to quit.
by a member of the underclass, and for some reason think we have a right to tell people they can't do?
How do you know she wasn't just hopping out of a Range Rover? [no she wasn't]
Interesting though, I mean, if I had said something along the lines of "you really shouldn't do that, it's very bad for your child and they don't have a choice in it"
She might have said :
"**** off"
or
"I actually didn't know"
or
"I feel so bad, it was only one and I haven't had one in months and I don't think I'll have another"
Or just ignored me and thought about it to a similar effect.
Interesting.....
I'm going to guess on the first answer. With the possiblity of esculation into full on Def Con Leave It Darren, He's Not Worth It
DezB - Member
It's sad, cos there's a certain "look" that children of smokers have. It affects their facial features.
bobbins
foetal alcohol syndrome, yes, smoking, no
so two members of my family smoked whilst pregnant.
it was a bit chavy of one: she is a bit chavy.
the other one 'managed the risks': she is a doctor.
people judged them on completely different set of rules; which had nothing to do with science and everything to do with class; how british!
[i]Do you mean "foetal alcohol syndrome" [/i]
Oh probably, close though eh. I never listen to her anyway. (So she tells me)
[looks like i can't be spellin anywayz]
Binners - what makes you think she was a member of the underclass ? Your prejudices are showing a bit there. Reading the OP he says nothing about her wearing a pink track suit and humming Britney Spears songs.
She could have been a company director of a successful internet business on quick break and doing her own shopping ??
the other one 'managed the risks': she is a doctor.
How did she do that then?
[i]Wanted to say something, didn't.[/i]
what/how other people do/say/behave is NONE of your business.
I wouldn't say anything - everyone is entitled to their own (legal) choices, no matter what you or anyone else thinks.
people judged them on completely different set of rules; which had nothing to do with science and everything to do with class; how british!
That's what makes this country so great!
what/how other people do/say/behave is NONE of your business
That can't be true. Well, it can be, but would you ignore someone stealing a bike?
Anyway, as I said I didn't speak, I just wanted-to. Are you sure you wouldn't want to [even if you decide not to]. Further, for some people it is their business - Child Protection, for example.
At least the next post mentioned the legality of it being relevant.
Surprised no one has advocated a Hoof-in-the-slats?.
Is disappointed...
[i]Binners - what makes you think she was a member of the underclass ?[/i]
Only people on benefits can afford fags these days.
That can't be true. Well, it can be, but would you ignore someone stealing a bike?
If they were stealing their own bike, yes. Because thats the analogy here. You're allowed to do pretty much what you want to yourself. Which, unless we've recently become some bible belt, holier-than-thou state of the midwest, includes any temporary passangers you're carrying.
Would you carry this protection of the unborn through to banning abortions? Or are we just stopping at smoking? How about the odd glass of chardonnay? Imprisonable offence?
You may not like that, but thats the way it is. You're entitled to employ that most English of secret weapons though - you can tut all you like 😉
the other one 'managed the risks': she is a doctor.
...How did she do that then?
Her options may have been
a - fags
or
b - injectable 'fun time', booze, and ropey tattoos.
Ergo, a is lower risk.
DrP
I think that smoking while pregnant is tantamount to child abuse and should be treated as such.
Though I also now think it should be illegal to smoke within X meters of a child (where X is a distance scientifically determined to be out of range of passive smoke in still conditions) or to smoke within a private residence where children live or reside regularly in the same way it is illegal to smoke in a car with a child.
Im an ex-smoker so not anti-smoking however I am very anti inflicting it on children.
Where do the middle class, NCT red wine drinkng breast feeders fit in to this situation?
There's so much information about the negative affects of smoking whilst pregnant is one more voice going to make a difference?
Would you carry this protection of the unborn through to banning abortions? Or are we just stopping at smoking? How about the odd glass of chardonnay? Imprisonable offence?
As with the terrible case of the Women recently who suffered an assault and lost her child-to-be the accused has been charged with crime of 'child destruction'
I think once you pass the point of abortion (24 weeks) then child abuse of a child-to-be should be a crime as you have past the point of no return then and barring accidents or incidents etc that child will be born.
You're entitled to employ that most English of secret weapons though - you can tut all you like
If that fails a letter to the Mail should do the trick.
OK binners/nickc how about if they were hitting the child? I mean injuring it in some way, not just a spanked arse.
[i]how about if they were hitting the child? I mean injuring it in some way, not just a spanked arse.[/i]
What? In the womb?
I think that smoking while pregnant is tantamount to child abuse and should be treated as such.
What... give them their own TV series and a knighthood?
Though I also now think it should be illegal to smoke within X meters of a child (where X is a distance scientifically determined to be out of range of passive smoke in still conditions) or to smoke within a private residence where children live or reside regularly in the same way it is illegal to smoke in a car with a child.
😯
Blimey fella! I also have to say one_happy_hippy, that you don't sound very hippyish. Or indeed very happy. Your vision of what people should and shouldn't be allowed to do, and what they are subsequently punished for, wouldn't be out of place in North Korea.
If you're doing something to your own unborn child, then surely its you who has to deal with the fallout from that, every day, for the rest of your life. Nobody else. So as such, its nobody elses business!
*awaits predictble argument about state support*
state support
You called?
What? In the womb?
Can be done. But I was talking about a child that had been born.
If you're doing something to your own unborn child, then surely its you who has to deal with the fallout from that, every day, for the rest of your life. Nobody else. So as such, its nobody elses business!
How is it different to say walking up to your own child and dousing them in acid or exposing them to a substance that could cause long term illness as you as the parent has to deal with it every day for the rest of your life, until they are 18 when the poor child has to deal with it for the rest its life?
Are you actually asking me to explan the difference between having a crafty fag, and dousing a child in acid?
Hang on a minute? Are you Ian Duncan Smith?
Crikey back in the 50s all our mums were puffing away at work at home in pregnancy. It didn't do me any harm. Cough, cough.
It's a sliding scale of harm, but drinking heavily, smoking or doing drugs whilst pregnant in this day and age is just plain f&ckwitt skanky and is the preserve of the same type of people who let their dog's crap on playing fields, or drive without a license or insurance.
I don't subscribe to the ethos of let people become as fat, or lazy or skanky as they want, as it's their business - the end result often means the rest of society have to pick up the bill, either financially or otherwise.
[i]Blimey fella! I also have to say one_happy_hippy, that you don't sound very hippyish. Or indeed very happy[/i]
and there's 2 of him 😆
[quote=thomthumb ]so two members of my family smoked whilst pregnant.
it was a bit chavy of one: she is a bit chavy.
the other one 'managed the risks': she is a doctor.
people judged them on completely different set of rules; which had nothing to do with science and everything to do with class; how british!
I presume from the way you phrase it that people judged them in the opposite way I would - I'm struggling to comprehend the mentality of somebody with medical training deciding to "manage it", but tempted to give the other the benefit of the doubt of not really understanding the issue.
I don't subscribe to the ethos of let people become as fat, or lazy or skanky as they want, as it's their business - the end result often means the rest of society have to pick up the bill, either financially or otherwise.
Presumably you'll be rsponsible for writing all the new rules then, telling everyone what you deem it is that they now can and can't do, and ruthlessly enforcing your new code?
Have you thought of moving to Syria? I believe there's a group over there who share your opinions on freedom of choice. Pop on a flight to Turkey and its just a quick hop over the border. Make sure you don't indulge in any behavior that anyone else disaproves of though. You might find yourself in a spot of bother.
Say it as it is mate 😉
Sad truth is, some f&ckwitts need saving from their own actions.
Please don't give me the PC handwringing crap. We live a free country and I'm not suggesting we turn it into some police state.
Had the misfortune to catch one of those "benefits Britain" programmes the other week - mum with 9 week old baby on her shoulder while she stood there smoking and two toddlers with coke in their sipping cups
What's wrong with having coke in a sipping cup, even if you are a toddler?
It tends to blow out of the cup when you breathe out.
[img] 
[/img]
How many of your parents drank and smoked heavily and you chaps are still alive.
Leave them alone.
Yeah the dead ones post on another forum.
Yeah the dead ones post on another forum.
Oh, wait, is it grit.cx?
Leave Grit.cx alone. They are way cooler as they do bendy bikes and lady things 🙂
Oh, wait, is it grit.cx?
😆
No.
Let them cull themselves.
In all honestly I want every effort of the entire STW team to succeed in every way.
But that one was just an open goal 😉
^^
I demand STW pulls your 'P'
Grrrrrr
It's sad, cos there's a certain "look" that children of smokers have
About 80% of the population my age, bet you couldn't spot me...
I would just like to see smoking banned, **** taxing them just make them illegal.
Then again I would also like to see cannabis legalised.
Some women smoke when pregnant simply because they have no idea it is harmful. I mean it's not widely known is it? All it would take to get them to stop is a little bit of friendly advice from a well meaning stranger.
Seriously, if you speak to someone about behaviour like that who are you doing it for? Them? The unborn child? They've doubtless heard it all before a million times and if advice from family and health professionals has had **** all effect why would advice from a stranger? So who are you doing it for? Yourself is the answer. You want them to know that you disapprove so that you can pretend to yourself that you did your bit. Way to go big man.
Easy tiger. I didn't say anything, I am aware of the fallibility of my impulses.
This thread is about your thoughts, not mine [you have them already - concerned but ultimately un acted-upon].
Easy tiger. I didn't say anything.
I know. Just felt like a rantette. It wasn't directed at you. 😉
You want them to know that you disapprove so that you can pretend to yourself that you did your bit
Actually this really interests me. Why do some people assume that there is no such thing as altruism? My thoughts were along the lines of "doubtless she'll be angry, but I don't care if she is cross with me if it is of benefit to another".
Now, this may be a form of transparent self-delusion, was I not aware of my own subconscious impulse - make myself feel good by imparting the advice? Or could it be that I really want to be of use in the world? Might there be a possibility of a good outcome? Yes! Might it me slim? Yes! Might I get a punch in the chops? Yes!!
Still the thoughts and motivations of both myself and the woman are, well, interesting to me 🙂
I know. Just felt like a rantette. It wasn't directed at you.
'S OK - I decided to have a right go at Knog earlier.
Was the 9 months before this thread was revived a coincidence.
Or was it revived so we could check up on the smoking lady's baby ?
Actually this really interests me.
It is interesting. True altruism might exist but if it does it's probably quite rare. In the case we're discussing I think 'having a word' might not be motivated by desire to do good but by anger at seeing something you think is wrong.
doubtless she'll be angry, but I don't care if she is cross with me if it is of benefit to another".
My point is that it wouldn't have a benefit although altruism isn't dependent on the act being successful.
I wouldn't have said anything.
Certainly left a friendship significantly 'cooler' when I found a friend had been smoking whilst pregnant; or maybe it was my comments to her that had that effect. Either way, no, I wouldn't comment to a stranger.
Well we need someone to do the $hit jobs.
Can't have everyone go to Uni.
Hooray for pregnant women who smoke.
Student told me me his Mum is addicted and can't stop smoking around him. He reeks, I thought he was smoking from the whiff of second hand smoke.