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I put my room service tray in the corridor in my pajamas, and I don't carry my room key. One small slip and I'd be locked out in my pajamas.
danger ****ing with headphones in.
don't blow on your soup before slurping
Walk briskly with scissors
sneak up and startle a sleeping honey badger.
cycle commute through Leeds city center.
Ride my local steep enjooro trails in black kit.
Asking for bother.
Fart before checking resistance
Sometimes I put the recycling bins out without carrying a set of keys. If that garage door swings shut, I'm a dead man.
You wear pyjamas? All my hopes are dashed against a rock of despair.
Ride your CX bike on a Gravel route 😀
Full fat milk.
Yeah it's not dangerous unless you are naked
Once upon a time when I was very drunk on a Saturday evening, I snuck up to the open window of a police car and tickled the officer on the chin saying merrily 'tickle tickle'
I've never seen anyone with such a look of outright shock and fear in all my life... he was stuck rigid in his seat and I just staggered off chuckling to myself without further incident.
Come onto STW and either suggest:
[list][*]cars are rubbish and bikes are better[/*]
[*]that 29ers are a fad and we'll all be on 650b soon.[/*][/list]
😀
Diss Horas bike choice!
Always slide the room service tray out into the corridor with your foot to prevent any chance of being locked out. Also put the chain on so that when you sleepwalk for the very first time in your life it's not naked in a hotel corridor.
Remembering the tickle incident has just reminded me of another story from my Cardiff days...
My flatmate was intent on pimping up his room in rented accomodation, so went sloshing nitromors about without a care in the world. He decided to take a break, so sat down and in so doing, somehow a dribble of nitromors made its way down his arsecrack.
He was running about flapping his arms all over the place and letting out some eerie squeals, until he plonked his arse in a bucket of cold water.
molgrips - Member
I put my room service tray in the corridor in my pajamas, and I don't carry my room key. One small slip and I'd be locked out in my pajamas.
Similar story to how I met my wife - room service left breakfast outside my room. Went out in my pants to collect it and the door closed on me. Lift of shame to reception...
Fart in an empty lift.
Ikea backwards on a bank holiday! Try it if you dare!!
Once saw a room service tray alive with creepy crawlies in a hotel corridor, hoped they crept into the offenders room and crawled up their bottom.........pyjamas
I'm eating some nuts and raisins I bought at the london olympics (Best before 2012)
Remove three rotor bolts to save weight.
Ask your partner, whilst bagging up two dozen (at least) "100ml containers" under the close eye of an angry security officer at Heathrow, whether "she really needs all this $%^&"
I sit in my police car sometimes outside nightclubs with the window down. You would be surprised.
My flatmate was intent on pimping up his room in rented accomodation, so went sloshing nitromors about without a care in the world. He decided to take a break, so sat down and in so doing, somehow a dribble of nitromors made its way down his arsecrack.He was running about flapping his arms all over the place and letting out some eerie squeals, until he plonked his arse in a bucket of cold water.
Am I missing something here, whyyyyy would you nitromors your walls if that's what he did?
I sit in my police car sometimes outside nightclubs with the window down. You would be surprised.
That's just reminded me of another time when someone let the handbrake off an unoccupied police car outside a nightclub (which once again, had the windows open) and it rolled gently into the pillars of the local Freemason's hall.
Put the recycling out in the front garden in my pants.
Nowhere to put keys (that I'd countenance).
Am I missing something here, whyyyyy would you nitromors your walls if that's what he did?
He was nitromorsing the skirting board and the fireplace (a nice ornate cast iron jobbie which had been buried in a thick layer of minging off white paint)
Never did finish the job mind...
CaptainFlashheart - Member
You wear pyjamas? All my hopes are dashed against a rock of despair.
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NEVER put a next customer divider on the supermarket conveyor belt
I could end up with anything in my trolley!
it also really agitates some people
I sit in my police car sometimes outside nightclubs with the window down. You would be surprised.
looking for drunk lasses to "escort" home for a favour or face arrest?
You obviously missed jhj's post. Always pays to read the thread before making a juvenile remark
We weren't late for the ferry for the first time in ages. So we went to Sainsbury's for a few bits and booze and made sure we were late.
Tell ton it's centre not center
- Swap the thyme in the thyme jar with the basil in the basil jar. Then just sit back and watch the fireworks next time she/he is cooking!
- if someone says 'colour-scheme', hold up the index finger prompting them to listen as you correct with 'actually dude, we say colorway now'.
- Have salad for breakfast and Weetabix for lunch.
- Following the first kiss on a first date, wipe your lips triumphantly and state quietly, (as if to self) - 'back of the net!'
- Flip the front QR skewer and fit odd-coloured valve-caps, see if your riding buddies say 'no wayyyyy!!! You didn't!!'
- Close your eyes when accessing Netflix menu, press play and watch whatever you've unknowingly selected. Right through until the end! No cheating.
put the front QR skewer on the other w
The very thought makes my teeth itch.
mcmoonter - Member
Full fat milk.llama - Member
Yeah it's not dangerous unless you are naked
I'll keep that in mind...
🙂
Order something expensive from Dave Hinde.
We weren't late for the ferry for the first time in ages. So we went to Sainsbury's for a few bits and booze and made sure we were late.
I don't do late for this sort of thing, though picking up some beers on the way onto the Tassie ferry, we cruised through checkin (was really quiet) the lanes where you queue were empty then drove straight onto a the ferry at the back...
Ride with no tools, pump, or spare tube. 🙂
And maybe not a helmet, either. 😈
I went to Cask Pub and Kitchen for the first time last night.
So i'm saying - when your mate asks you if you want one, telling him to just surprise you.
I don't need fine tasting beer of that strength on a school night. I'm supposed to be riding to work this morning; I think bus and train will do.
My mate once lived danderously through nothing more than a simple wave.
I always get stopped and searched at airports. Always. On a trip with him, he stated that he'd not go through security with me! So he joined a queue five desks down. He got to the checkpoint at the same time as me, and waved. Security guy asked if he was with me.....
He got the full monty.
Ride on the road?
When you are at Cask Pub and Kitchens and someone asks what you'd like to drink, answer loud and clear "a half of Carling please".
Walk down some car park steps.
You wear pyjamas?
Not for sleeping, heavens no. I put them on to avoid embarrassment when the room service guy delivers the tray.
Took 12 items through the 10 item express checkout. Got a reprimand from the meddlesome ratbag behind who had counted them.
Walk down some car park steps.
Damn, beat me to it 🙂
[quote=Houns dijo]Tell ton it's centre not center
Ton's a second rower, lad, not a centre. they're much smaller and thinner, generally speaking.
Be me
That's just inhumane.- Close your eyes when accessing Netflix menu, press play and watch whatever you've unknowingly selected. Right through until the end! No cheating.
Rusty Spanner - Member
Order something expensive from Dave Hinde.
The tag is dangerous not insanity Pete!
I like to randomly copy someone in from our company global address list on a really dull email conversation
Took 12 items through the 10 item express checkout. Got a reprimand from the meddlesome ratbag behind who had counted them.
That's old skool...
...taking a full trolley through the self-service tills really gets people riled up!
When I'm walking up to a door and it's just closing instead of pulling on the handle to open it further I like to shimmy through it like Indiana Jones.
Ride your CX bike on a Gravel route
I do this with 28mm road tyres....ooohhhh yes.
....
....
I over cooked a corner the other day...I now have a TdF level road rash.
Flip the front QR skewer
There is a right way round? I just shove it in on the nearest side to where I'm standing.
I've been living on the edge for 30+ years!
Eat a phall?
*parp!*
Just take a look at these; the sight of them is almost enough to make me trip over. That 33% extra top step, followed by the flat bank to car park; nauseating.
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I put my room service tray in the corridor in my pajamas
Why not wrap the poor thing in a dressing gown? ? Or are you hoping someone wll wash them?
If you are asked - "Do you like my new hairstyle?"
Answer NO
Don't check your wheels before every ride. (Northwind says I is gonna die.)
Say you hate kids on any forum...
The wear indicators vanished before last winter on my commuter's rims.... and I live in a very hilly city! exploding rims imminent!
Take 11L of old engine oil to the council tip and sneak past the "5L a month police".
exploding rims imminent!
Especially if you've just eaten a phall.
^ 😆
I ordered a lamb madras last week and it actually peaked somewhere between vindaloo and phal. I think that ordering from there now qualifies as a dangerouscapade.
Ask the fat bird in a nightclub 'when's she due'
Don't check if your hummus is organic
Marginally exceed the speed limit in a well sign posted area.
Marginally exceed the speed limit in a well sign posted area.
And then post on a high horse forum....
Cross at a pedestrian crossing in Germany when the lit-up man is still red....
'ES IST ROT......ES IST ROT......!!!!'
'ES IST ROT......ES IST ROT......!!!!'
Yep, that one gets their Weinelstruddles in a twist.
Putting up a 'new topic' on STW chat forum
Eat a ripe pear at your work desk.
No napkins allowed.
I made a disparaging remark about Naim equipment on a hi-fi thread earlier..
Drive the wrong way along a 2 or 3 metre bit of the work carpark to avoid going all the way around the campus at 5 MPH and going over about 34 of the biggest speedbumps known to mankind - in fact one of the speedbumps is so high that it still has snow on it 😉
Security/faciclities/H&S bloke nearly implodes when he sees me do it 😆
Ride a bike on the coastal footpath past a certain mans house in Luccombe on the isle of wight.
He said he was calling the police to get them to confiscate my bike, who would then take it to the mainland and sell it. 😆
He was politely advised that they couldnt do that and would he mind telling them I was heading towards Ventnor and could they meet me there?
Drive the wrong way along a 2 or 3 metre bit of the work carpark to avoid going all the way around the campus at 5 MPH and going over about 34 of the biggest speedbumps known to mankind - in fact one of the speedbumps is so high that it still has snow on itSecurity/faciclities/H&S bloke nearly implodes when he sees me do it
Drive in reverse whilst eyeballing them?