Since 2020, do you feel changed?

Yes, but I split with the ex at the start of the first lockdown and since have a house to myself and changed job.
A better relationship with my son also but....

Was thinking the other day I actually remember lockdown fondly. It was sunny I played in the garden often with son between lessons. I'd go to the shop early and it would be relatively organized.

The world seemed calmer.
Now a lot of people are angry and places feel cramped.

In my case, I think the anxiety is age related and nothing to do with Brexit or Covid. It had certainly kicked in before either of those (in fact it led to me stopping work just before Covid appeared). When I look at photos of what I used to do I'm often amazed that it's me.

I think lockdown made me more cautios and anxious about travelling, largely because we wemt on a couple of trips when it was possible to do so and got hit by post covid travel chaos, last minute changes to covid health certification reqirements etc. I now expect the worst.

Also more recently on medication which reduces my oomph and increases anxiety.

Yes, but it is hard to tell what changes were the result of COVID/Brexit/world events and which would have happened anyway.

I've lost a lot of drive or ambition to progress at work, and am far more settled in my comfortable job without killing myself to chase a promotion, and looking back I think the might stem from burnout from overwork in 2020 and 2021.

I'm hugely pessimistic about the way the world is going and what sort of life my kids will have. I can't tell if that is something special about the 2020's or how every parent has always finds reasons to worry (cold war, millennium bug, etc etc).

I used to take good health for granted, but now having seen various friends and neighbours have struggles (especially with their kids), have far more appreciation that it isn't a given and we are very lucky.

Edit: after re-reading that, I think the upshot is that I appreciate more the need to enjoy life while things are good, and not waste it away. Very cathartic to think about, thanks.

OP + 1. It could be age (48), but I really don't like how I am at the moment. I seem to lurch from worry-crisis to worry-crisis.

Less time on the internet would probably help

With 4 kids aged 7-13, I don't have time to worry about other stuff!I

No changes felt here. But then I worked normally throught Covid so did not suffer  from lack of social contact. No friends or relatives had anything more than a mild dose of Covid.   Apart from the fact it was a waste of 2 years with un-necessary restrictions on outdoor activities it was no big deal. Obviously other experiences differ.

Interesting thread.

Travelling I feel more inclined to go to other places to get away from my locality (familiarity breeds contempt etc) - so no increased anxiety there. And have travelled much during the pandemic (when we could) and just after a lot to fix all that.

But ...

Much more indecisive and wobbly over certain choices - how much of that is due to getting older and dealing with all the big political hits - with seemingly no hope in site, dunno.

I think with everything you have to push against the inertia of being too comfortable in not doing much or decline does kick in.

I've definitely noticed my parents go through this. They raised us in the 80s & early 90s through Thatcherism, the Cold War, the fear of nuclear fallout, 2 iraq wars, and negative equity. They thought nothing of taking us through south east asia on a shoestring budget with no idea how we'd get home and seemingly no care for our safety (it would be called terrible parenting today, but it was amazing). They'd let my brother and I, when we were under 10, roam the west end of London by ourselves for several hours, with no means of contacting us and no idea where we were. They were serene and chill even though we had little money and they worked all hours of the day through worrying times.

Now, as they near their 80s they read the daily broadsheet, watch the news twice a day and have radio 4 on all day. They worry about the end of the world, and our safety every day, even though we're not doing anything anywhere near as risky as they did, and have a pretty comfortable life. I guess the end of the world is a lot closer for them, but I wish they wouldn't dwell on it so much and enjoy their health and relatively comfortable life.

Meanwhile I mostly worry about stuff like the quality of education and what my daughter will grow up to be - same as most other parents. For my own sanity I make sure I get some fresh air and exercise every day and maybe scan the BBC news for a minute a day, and take social media with a large pinch of salt.

Yep. Increased anxiety mainly based around a feeling that time is running out for me to do stuff I want to, before I get too old to do it.

3 months off during covid gave me a taste of what life would be like not having to work, but my anxiety comes from not being sure I will still be able to get out and about by the time I retire.

Currently having CBT to try and help.

Personally, I feel much poorer. Something that is only amplified when getting away from home, whether that be in the UK or elsewhere, so doing less and less of that these days. Work wise, nearly every day throws up something that has only become a problem in recent years, and would have been so smooth as to have been completely ignored before we threw up barriers with the rest of Europe. Rocky uncertainty with the RoW as well, but there always has been issues with planning, contingency, costs and bureaucracy when dealing with far flung places… but even that seems to hit harder now that we’re supposed to be looking to such places to try and claw back what we have lost closer to home.

Nope, I'd argue if I'm changed it's for the better. Although a little fatter, but working on it.
Had a few health scares but ok now.

It's all good

Yeah I have a lot less positivity for the future coated to a few years ago. That then impacts on the present because I often feel it's pointless trying to work towards far off goals.

It's probably baseless but it's hard to push away from that kind of thinking and I reckon it's more prevalent in our society at the minute so it feeds on itself amount groups.

Weirdly, as someone who's always suffered from pretty chronic anxiety, I found the lockdown of 2020 had the opposite effect on me. Prior to that I'd never leave home without some propanalol on me for my regular (sometimes cripling) anxiety attacks.

When we went into lockdown I just stopped worrying, even though I had plenty to worry about. It was bloody hard as I was a freelancer (so as far as the government were concerned neither employed nor self-employed), all my work stopped overnight and I wasn't entitled to a penny in furlough or owt. Essentially, I was *ed!

So its totally counter-intuitive, but I thought '* it! Theres nothing I can do about it, I have zero control over this situation, so I just have to get on with it'. I didn't take a single tablet from that pont on. I sort of reinvented my job (because I had no choice) and really pushed more of the stuff I really wanted to do (illustration rather than commercial design). I got a lot of support, not least from this place, and an amazing wife, family  and bunch of mates, but I sort of never looked back.

I realise I've been very lucky to have the skillset I have and be able to do that, and its certainly not been easy, but I'd say overall the experience has had quite a lot of positives. I look at the artwork I've produced over these last few years and I'm really proud of it. Would I have done it without being forced too? No. I'd have just carried on doing what I was doing. Its still really tough, particularly in the present economic climate but I feel I'm infinitely better equipped, mentally, to deal with it all than I was 4 years ago. My priorities are now very, very different and I certainly know who my friends are.

Less enthusiastic. About anything. Im clearly in a rut, and its above head height.

All of the above, anxieties have increased and have struggled to understand what a normal, balanced life looks like.

Im meeting a friend of mine next week whom I have seen since before lockdown.  She’s the most laid back person I’ve ever known yet in our text based arrangements she’s hinted and the difficulty, seeming lack of time, life challenges and anger she’s experiencing.

The world has changed for sure, it’s much less tolerant that pre Covid.

I got COVID in April 2020 and have had two chronic illnesses ever since. It was absolutely life-changing, and not in a good way.

I now have no social life and no energy to pursue my hobbies.

I wouldn't say I have become more of a worrier (I always was a bit) but "negative and pessimistic about the future"? Damn right I am....

Oddly, I had a great Covid, really enjoyed the time off work with my family.

Travelwise, if I wasn't married I think I could have given up on flying completely, the break from it made me realise how much I dislike the whole airport thing. I'm sat here right now in the Alps with the snow falling and very glad that my wife makes me get out of my comfort zone...

Politically it's hard to find any positivity, I can't see the two big parties allowing any meaningful change but I also can't see the point of ruining my life worrying about something I can't change. Same goes for the environment, do you bit but as you can only affect so much, I try to let it go.

I'm reading a book called Lost Connections that's worth a read.

The world seemed calmer.
Now a lot of people are angry and places feel cramped

This, but i wouldn't want to go back to those days.

I changed jobs in lockdown. Distance/e-learning doesn't suit me, I feel i struggled and have never got up to where I should be. That's triggered renewed problems with anxiety and depression.

Covid/Pandemic - I don't think so. So much else has changed in my life that I could not tease out just the covid stuff. If anything it might have me think the world more resilient - thinking back it's almost surreal how we were living. And now life is back to normal as if none of it happened. So maybe I'm more hopeful for the future than I used to be.

Brexit - yes, that changed me. It's made me think significantly less of a large number of people I share the UK with. To be blunt I used to perceive many of them to be stupid, poorly educated/informed with very poor judgment and this was mostly to the detriment of their own lives. I'd listen to my FiL with his naive thought processes formed from a small life and think, "god, you're a tool - but a mostly harmless tool". Now I've realised that if you put enough stupids together in a democracy and they are led to make stupid choices by persuasive people that prey on their stupid people prejudices there are enough of them that we all suffer.

Yes

Mrs TJ died in my care.  Hugely traumatic.   That has changed me for ever

Yes. Much worse. Maybe the lockdown and pandemic boosted it, so not the cause, but definitely worse. Social situations are so much harder, too.

The first lockdown was a strange period for me. As a social care worker the first priority was to protect service users from covid. So there was no contact with colleagues at work. The work was actually physically easier as the service users were not attending any of their usual activities outside the home. Outside of work I enjoyed aspects of lockdown Life in a small Highland village was peaceful. It was easy to get out without meeting anyone, in the quiet nature seemed to take over...I enjoyed that This was part of a change which I had been looking for within myself before lockdown though
As we began to open up covid inevitably began to occurr in my workmates and the service users. Brexit took effect and staff shortage became the norm at work. It had always been the norm for people to work extra hours, however I at the start of 2021, age 59 I decided that wasnt good for my health, so from then have worked only my contracted 30 hours per week.

I had a good lock down. Enough work to keep me busy, but not too much. Company from my wife and then daughter as well. I alternated walking and cycling for my daily exercise. We ate well and often in the garden. Towards the end i phoned all of my students. Not one had left the house since the start of the lock down. It was a good reminder of the divided world we all live in.

The return to work was harder with concerns over whether my wife could be vaccinated and how much of an issue her asthma and other complications would be. In the end she was vaccinated and had Covid less badly than me.

I made some fitness gains under the different work regime. So partly seeing the light and partly an improved financial situation means I now work 4 days a week. I’m 58 years old. My short term frustration is that back to back viruses mean that I’m currently just getting back on the bike after nearly 4 weeks off the bike. I’ll I’ve done so far is few short easy rides. But I know it just needs a bit of patience.

I had great trips last year on and off the bike and have some great trips planned for this year too.

So overall I’m in a better place than before the pandemic. Although I’ll never be as care free as I was in my 20s

I have had anxiety issues in the past. I would urge the OP to get help. Personally mindfulness has really helped. But there are lots of options. Treat it like a bad back. You’ll always have that back and it might constrain what you do. But get as much help as you can to mitigate the symptoms and live the best like you can.

Objectively, things are better for me today than in 2020 - I was very glad to be able to work remotley through COVID, didn't lose my job, and got a better one after. But I worry about everyone else. I feel like COVID turbocharged the trends of inequality and underinvestment that were aleady there: we fit 20 years of decline into 2.

I know about recency bias, and don't want to get into big P politics, but this really does feel like the late 1970s or early 1980s or the shagged out, Major years of open corruption and collapse of social institutions. FWIW elderly members of my family feel the same way.

Since Brexit, I’ve feel somehow bereft and experience a profound sense of political ennui.

The world is too big for you to fix everything. But you can fix something small. Even something as little as picking up rubbish for an hour a week from your local park will help everyone and make you feel better. If you do it for purely selfish reasons - good for you.

I think it'd be weird to have not changed at all over 4 years, especially when you throw a pandemic into the mix.

Living through covid changed me a fair bit, I've never had much trust in government or media but covid destroyed it completely.

I'm young, healthy, exercise loads and have a good diet. I'd had covid twice before being eligible for a vaccine. My thinking was I've had it twice (first time quite ill for a week, second time nothing much) so I don't need a vaccine.

When explaining my position to others the amount of backlash I experienced was crazy. I was called an anti vaxxer, anti science, selfish, a moron, stupid, a conspiracy theorist, I could go on. I was basically put into a camp with the nutters who think the vaccine was injecting them with nanobots or whatever.

The only argument that made sense to me was to get the vaccination for the wider social good, to stop transmission. It was a strong argument and I was on the fence for a long time. In the end I said no.

I still don't know if I made the right or wrong choice but I'll never forget the power of social pressure to comply.

MH taken a bit of a hit here also, along with motivation and aging stuff.

Lockdowns, UK politics and lack of progression at work all to blame I think

Lockdown for me was a great period, best it's been for probably a decade. The only improvement would have been the kids still being able to go to school. I had the freedom to work as much as i liked, but still getting to spend more time with the kids, great weather and no one around when you went out. So did 2020 change me? Yes. Ever since I've been hankering to move house; somewhere warm and very quiet please.

Short answer... yes.

I picked the bike back up in the summer after the first lockdown. This, I think, is the only way I avoided spiraling into a pit of despair. In fact I would go so far as to say riding bikes now is the thing that brings me most joy.

Every time I have to leave the house to be in a social situation it's a struggle to actually get out the door. Once I am out, I am pretty much making contingencies to ensure I have a get out plan for the time when I have had enough. Never went back to the office after lockdown lifted - I changed jobs during the first few month of 2021 to a fully remote job. I feel like I have had a total mental step change and while I know I will never commute again, I think remote working isn't helping.

Life is different now. Better in some ways, harder in others.

I feel absolutely no different to 2020 and before.

Similar to irc up there it probably helped that I had to work as normal through every lockdown (workshop environment), carried on riding my mountain bike at multiple locations on my route to and from work, only caught Covid in 2023 and don’t know anyone who it affected badly. To be honest, I enjoyed a lot about the lockdowns.

I’m an academic and my main admin role in 2020 was as chair of my department’s safety committee - so quite stressful, especially whilst reopening the department. I rode a bit more than normal in the working week during lockdown (from home), mostly as a way of managing stress. Once restrictions had lifted a bit and people were still working from home more than usual, I started riding a lot more in the surrounding areas (Dales, North Pennines). I still make the effort to ride midweek, every week, from home in the winter, sometimes a bit further afield in summer. I still work way more than my contracted hours (many academics do), but my head is in a much better place. That’s a positive lasting legacy of 2020 for me.

I can also relate to a lot of this. As others have said though it's hard to say to what extent things like lockdowns and Brexit have played a part and how much might just be middle aged ennui. But I do feel like I've slipped down from where I'd like to be in a few areas.

I feel I’ve changed for the better especially when dealing with customers. Before Covid I’d try and please everyone for the fear of losing them and often took on more than I could handle leading to late or last minute deliveries pleasing no-one.

Post Covid I’ve very much taken the ‘well the worst has already happened’ approach and now I can turn people away if the job isn’t worth doing or I just don’t want to do it without feeling any guilt. I’ve even stopped offering certain services altogether.

I’m less stressed as a result.

Moved house too as we realised we were bored with the house we’d lived in for 27 years. Been in new house 2 years and much happier.

weeksy

Nope, I’d argue if I’m changed it’s for the better. Although a little fatter, but working on it.
Had a few health scares but ok now.

It’s all good

Much the same for me.

My wife died in Sept 2019 after 38 years together and the final 10 years of me caring for her.

Thankfully I worked in an industry that was much in demand during 2020 so that took my mind off many things and also boosted my finances substantially.

2022 saw me made redundant, not a bad thing with 31 years service and a massive payout. Though a big health scare in late 2022 did see me question my own mortality!

Over the last 18 months I've mostly rebuilt myself and am in a new relationship where I now feel happy again.

yes, but for the better.

retired 3 years ago which was the biggest decision i have ever had to make, and so far it has turned out great.

also had 2 new grandkids since 2020 which was a big part of mine and my wife retirement.

we wanted to spend some good healthy years with the grandkids, rather than working to near death age and being to knackered to do anything with them.

also sorted a longterm serious health issue out. this has left me with a bit less fitness, but i have just moved my goalposts.

so all in all, everything is ok.

2020 put a stop to travelling for work, four years on and I've not gone back to that madness of always being on the move, it was bad for me, my family and the environment, a wake up call.

I retired, officially at least and only in one country, I'll have to make a few more class 3 contributions before being fully retired. It's an odd feeling when no-one expects you to be working anymore. Perhaps as a reaction I started building an extension and haven't worked as hard physically ever, and that despite a slow recovery from Covid in March 2020.

Much worse for me. Significantly less physically well (seem to catch anything), chronic tiredness (could be long covid), but also consistently unhappy and mildly depressed.

Brevity has.t affected me emotionally. Just another ridiculous decision made by a (very slight) majority I share virtually nothing with in terms of outlook.

I just wish I could get some sort of consistent health back.

I echo many of the feelings in this thread. Don't feel good about many things I used to. No time right now to elaborate. There was a better future, but people did things and now there isn't.

Sure am much more aware of the propaganda, lies and psychological manipulation of the population that governments across the world are involved in

I do. Some of it was expected, some less so.

I went on termination leave at the back end of 2019 with my official end of service landing in early 2020 wrapping up 24 years. Obviously with no idea what was coming down the pipe, I was quite happy taking my time to find a new career direction; filling my time with riding, DIY and dog fostering.

I did however underestimate the impact of the loss of identity, purpose and people leaving had on me, took some time to work those knots, some elements are still a work in progress; I found that dealing with that far harder to navigate than the pandemic.

The biggest impact that the pandemic and subsequent lockdowns had on me was indirect; the loss of friends to suicide as a result of the withdrawal of MH support and social isolation.

Yes. But nothing to do with Covid, which meant I was off work for two months, before going back and I was busier than previous, and work was really good, and very much caring for the staff.

Everything comes down to losing my partner suddenly and without warning, and it’s been very hard to deal with, as should be pretty obvious.
There’s something I read recently in an interview with a musician who’s work I admire, and whose latest album deals with grief and loss;

”Grief has no time frame”. Four words that express the reality better than I ever could, and better than pages of words ever could.

I’m coping ok, up days, down days, and settling into being retired, but thankfully not having worries about being able to afford being retired, which was always lurking at the back of my mind.

Yes. Experiences in the first half of '20 led to the acquisition of ptsd. Then, on a more positive note, I now mostly work from home for my main job and lately this has become more interesting as well, so those are net benefits of the overall change.

In many ways, I am a happier person but with new and changed issues, it's not all good. Ho hum...

The last few years have pretty much completely changed me, probably in the 90% range. Some of it is better but a lot is worse.

Just before 2020 I was:

In a stable and good job I liked, working 4 days a week for very good money. I had a few extra responsibilities above the basic job that gave me massive amounts of freedom to control my work/life balance.
Was in a happy place mentally having just come out of the end of a few years of therapy, medication control and dealing with a few external issues.
Was the fittest I had ever been, cycled to work every day and got out in the hills at least twice a week.
Had a decent group of friends.

Post pandemic these had changed to:

No permanent job after my old industry collapsed (delivered cash to banks and shops, the sudden switch to cashless by everyone brought forward the change by a good 5-10 years).
Destroyed my mental health thanks to the above and also due to the multiple lockdowns severely hampering my efforts to retrain as a HGV driver and then find permanent work.
Stuck where I live as I'm at the mercy of the rental market, social mobility has pretty much ground to a halt and led to me having to give up a decent job I found in 2022 as rents are so high and I couldn't sustain a 95 mile round commute any longer.
My physical fitness is pretty much destroyed due to most of the above. No more cycle commute, lack of free time and mental barriers have meant I have gone from 6 days a week outdoors riding in some form all year round to 2 outdoor rides so far this year in 3 months. I've put on well over 10kg of pure fat and struggle with anything that gets me breathing remotely hard. I'd be even worse if it wasn't for Zwift!
Have had to jettison some friends and others have drifted away to just being acquaintances thanks to events and behaviours during the various lockdowns. A few core friends have remained but my social circle, which was never big, has shrunk to a tiny amount and almost all of those people live all over the country and two on different continents.

I've got a few people I know that never knew me before the pandemic so they don't notice the changes in me, physically and mentally. Most of them have never seen me without a beard as I started growing my first ever one on the day the first lockdown started!

From the outside it can seem like I've done well out of the last few years: I have my dream car tucked away, a decent amount of savings put away, my new skills are in demand etc. But in reality I'm mentally broken, physically a wreck and living a life currently without direction or purpose. Some of that is down to losing my dad late last year but the vast majority of it is down to the effects of the pandemic and the response the country had to it. It doesn't help that the country gave a glimpse of how good it could be during the lockdowns, especially the first one, but has quickly forgotten that and come out the other side worse.

It feels like the past 4 years have ripped away everything that was good about my life and virtually nothing has come along to replace the void.

how good it could be during the lockdowns,

This is a huge point.   I remember not having to get up before 5am to travel any more, lunches in the sun in the garden, employers telling everyone to take it easy, observe breaks, spend time with family, checking in to see if you’re ok, spatious walks and bike rides,  barely any traffic, and every reason to have a barbecue and enjoy a beer at home (with amounts of bog roll available in mind).

Reflecting about what someone else said earlier in the thread, we are now in more packed environments, endless traffic jams, MS Teams is hugely invasive with mental health of work needing to be heavily managed, massive pressure from employers for “growth”, cost of living and political shenanigans, environmental disasters and even planes falling out of the sky due to cost cutting measures.

I thing the point about direction is important, I wonder whether the whole world is trying to fast to pull in multiple directions at once effectively causing a fractious and overly stressed society.