[Closed] Silliest thing you have done using motorised transport

In Ibiza in '97, riding a scooter and trying to catch up to a mate who was driving a convertible so I could grab on to the door and he could pull me along. Was doing about 40mph with one hand trying to grab the car. Then I hit a grid....

Needless to say I didn't manage to grab the car, though I did grab the floor pretty hard, smashed my collar bone and took most of the skin and flesh off both knees. Didn't have an e111 or insurance so just had to home repair and live with the pain, which was bloody painful, for a month or two.

Didn't learn my lesson either and had a good few more crashes over the next few years, by 2001 the wife just barred me from scooters.

Also in the car with my dad when he was so pissed he couldn't stand up. He had a Porsche and we (he!) were racing a Corvette along Lakeshore BLVD in Toronto through rush hour traffic for a good 10mins. He thought it was hilarious, I was terrified, I think the chaps in the Corvette were probably smashed too. I was most definitely sobre.

11 in a Lada Estate to the pub one night in remotest Galloway.
Driving a minibus (empty apart from two staff heading for a driving test) down a 1/5 hill that was grippy when I ccled up at 7, but had frozen over by 8am with the dawn freeze...cue a 200m long slide bouncing off snow banks....

😳

Hitching a lift back to our campsite from Nice with a couple of guys who proceeded to get pissed up in the car and almost killed us with a huge wipeout while driving through roadworks at 70+ mph 😯

Tried driving on the M25......

Decided to go a bit Colin McRae in my first car on the forest roads near home. Overcooked it over a blind crest and slid off on the following slight right hander. Car got stuck so I rang a chap I knew that had a recovery truck, took him an hour and a half to find me. He pulled me out of the ditch and then I somehow managed to lock the keys on the boot of the car (Mk3 Fiesta, doors were locked, boot locks when closed) so he had to tow me back. Found out the next day that a log in the ditch had gone through one of the bottom suspension arms. Ended up costing about £350 which as a student I couldn't really afford.

Night driving with no lights.

Actually very calming by the silvery light of a full moon

Dived through the open window of a moving taxi pulling away from the lights by The Library in Leeds. I don't remember it but photos exist.

Night driving with no lights.

(My hand is up)

Climbing through window onto car roof.
Standing on the roof while at 40mph
Lying down on the roof at 60+mph
Driving down some country lanes, turned off lights to see what it was like. 😳
BJ's and sex while driving to KFC... Yup classy 8)
Racing various out of my league cars and winning through wreckless driving.
Drifting round some round-a-bouts along a straight road, drifting round another round-a-bout, pulling up to my friends house with smoke coming off the wheels... Then I noticed the smoke was flashing blue. I got banned for that and it was a blessing really. Calmed down a lot after that and keep it to the track.
I'm pretty sure there is a lot more, but it was hazy daze back then.

I would like to see that these were when I was 17/18.

I once had a go in a Hillman Imp.

Almost binned my C-max understeering through this corner.

[url= https://maps.google.co.uk/maps?saddr=Skelton-in-Cleveland+TS12+2BQ,+UK&daddr=Peebles,+Scottish+Borders,+UK&ll=55.363411,-2.494787&spn=0.000012,0.006738&gl=uk&panel=1&fb=1&geocode=FReDQAMd_erw_ymdpQf4WOR-SDHUcysEsiVFPw%3BFc8yUQMd1kTP_ylTzXUFmJKHSDGP3EI73x1_-Q&dirflg=d&t=h&z=17&layer=c&cbll=55.363369,-2.494923&panoid=0VFbvVQVAlnlEgZpaOoBBA&cbp=12,32.29,,0,17.24
]Google streetview of the A68 switchbacks, just over the border[/url]

I was probably too fast, it was dark and I simply didn't expect another corner, but the tyres were fault too, the outer layer just crumbled off, ended up looking like this!

[url= https://farm9.staticflickr.com/8296/7774871124_f6f5f1c977_c.jp g" target="_blank">https://farm9.staticflickr.com/8296/7774871124_f6f5f1c977_c.jp g"/> [/img][/url]
[url= https://www.flickr.com/photos/7614571@N05/7774871124/ ]DSCN8783[/url] by [url= https://www.flickr.com/people/7614571@N05/ ]thisisnotaspoon[/url], on Flickr

got my first car (a banger) while still at school - we used to hang on to the spolier while wearing roller blades and drive about the streets! managed melt a few roller blades wheels.

I'd kill my kids if i saw them doing that.

Flew to San Francisco from Manchester, via frankfurt and had a hire car when I arrived in SF, then had an hours drive to Walnut Creek

It was dark, i'd been travelling for 18+ hours, I'd never driven on the other side of the road before and drove a fair way down the freeway without any lights on (my car had automatic headlights)

I was pretty close to tears with fear, following massive HGVs on the grounds that if they could fit though the gaps I could :/

Also, there's a list of crap cars I've driven:

Early 1980s Metro: It bounced, had sagging doors and a steering wheel that was practically horizontal.

1989 Ford Sierra GLS: Awful. The engine was lusty but the chassis felt as though it was designed by two different departments, without talking to one another. The owner was a designer at Ford and confirmed that indeed, the front and rear suspension of the Sierra was in fact designed in separate countries.

1989 VW Polo: The brakes...oh God, the brakes...no brake servo, VW couldn't be arsed to fit one in the Polo when they designed them for RHD.

1989 Saab 9000 Turbo: Slow. Veeery slow...nothing happ...WHOA! Plus the gearchange was awful.

1973 VW Type 2: If the engine is noisy, depress clutch and stir gearlever. Release clutch. If the van is still rolling forwards without any extra noise, then you're in the right gear, otherwise repeat.

In winter with snow on the field, tying an old kayak to the back of a Ford Sierra and being towed around the field at way too high speed, using the paddles to somehow stay alive...

Rachel

TINAS - link doesn't work but I think you mean the three bends just after you cross the border on the way to the Glentress area.

I had a hairy moment on that same road earlier this year. It had been raining so the roads were still damp and there was a Jazz (I think) in front doing about 40mph coming up to [url= https://www.google.co.uk/maps/ @55.3477058,-2.4656459,3a,75y,121.85h,70.44t/data=!3m4!1e1!3m2!1sb47LfENvVtmk-C1006XSCg!2e0]this[/url] corner so I decided to go for the overtake as you can see traffic coming the other way for quite a distance. I wasn't expecting a river running across the road which nearly aquaplaned the car into the side of the Jazz. I still don't know how I didn't crash but I like to think it was just a case of "a dab of oppo and I was away" Troy Queef stylee.

Honda C90 that had an throttle cable that was too short, as I result when you turned right it opened the throttle a bit. Net result was I ran it into a hefty dry stone wall and my fingers got smashed

Holiday in Majorca. Friend drove the hire car to the bar. He got immensely drunk, decided he was going to drive back to the villa. 3 of us spent about an hour arguing with him, trying to get the keys from him, trying to get a taxi etc
As another lad had 'only' had about 5 or 6 bottles of beer, he drove. The driving was fine, but I still regret getting in. I should have distanced myself from all that

Not me, but a good friend drove from Knaresborough to York and back (about a 36 mile round trip) with no brakes in his Mk II Ford Escort.

And when I say 'no brakes' I mean none at all, not just slightly rubbish. He'd removed the shoes all round whilst doing some maintenance then remembered he had to get to college.

Somehow, I have no idea how, he managed it without incident.

More immediately[i] after[/i] using motorised transport- doing a biketrackday at Knockhill, on a drying track, I stupidly braked into a bit of standing water and lost the front end at, probably, somewhere around 90mph. Landed very gently and just got on with sliding, no bother. You slide for quite a long time, from 90, it's pretty surreal and oddly relaxing on a big wide open bit of tarmac especially when you're used to the sound of a basically unsilenced vtwin a foot from your head... I totally lost my bearings, thought "I must have stopped by now" and tried to stand up, while still sliding along at (at a guess) about 40mph. Instant massive terrifying cartwheels and somersaults of death down the track 😆

Night driving with no lights.

Hands up who's done that, just to see what it's like?

You just have to hope you don't meet someone coming the other way doing the same thing.

(My hand is up too 😳 )

Maybe holding onto a mate's car on my bike when I was 17. He told me we did 60mph.

Or maybe driving a van full of party go-ers back to a road, along miles of precarious remote forest tracks before I had a driving licence, and so intoxicated I was barely able to see. (It's OK, it wasn't a public road!).

19 year old just passed my test got myself a awesome Vauxhall Nova in Green with a hint of rust. Driving along Rivington at 0200 in the morning thinking i was Michael Schumacher. Took a bend too fast and flipped it onto its roof. Got My licence revoked and was told to take a extended retest.

27 year old, got caught doing 97 mph on the the m65 on Suzuki GSR 600 in the rain. I thought the BMW Estate was trying to race so i let rip. The BMW turned out to be a Unmarked plod. Got a £327 fine and banned for two weeks. No points and kept my licence. I'm now looking for something more sensible.

Climbed out of the window of a P100 pickup onto the upturned hull of a sailing dingy on the back of the truck while being driven at 50+ down the side of Loch Lomond, I might have been a bit pissed!

MkII Scirroco GTi in the snow at night with no lights at stupid speeds over the Cotswolds very sober though!

Milkie - Member
Climbing through window onto car roof.
Standing on the roof while at 40mph
Lying down on the roof at 60+mph
Driving down some country lanes, turned off lights to see what it was like.
BJ's and sex while driving to KFC... Yup classy
Racing various out of my league cars and winning through wreckless driving.
Drifting round some round-a-bouts along a straight road, drifting round another round-a-bout, pulling up to my friends house with smoke coming off the wheels... Then I noticed the smoke was flashing blue. I got banned for that and it was a blessing really. Calmed down a lot after that and keep it to the track.
I'm pretty sure there is a lot more, but it was hazy daze back then.

I would like to see that these were when I was 17/18.

Seems we had the same early years on the roads!....awful stuff to think about now, its why i dont have kids...i know what the little shits will get up to!

I get my kicks legally now driving on blues and twos in emergency vehicles.

Bought a bike that had been sitting in a guy's garden for a couple of years. The end snapped off the throttle cable but the bike seemed ok so I used a pair of pliers to hold the cable and off I went round the block a few times, pulling back to go faster. Changing gear was fun.
In the dark, lights off, yes.
Italian motorbikes are the best - Aprilia Futura had a sidestand sensor that would cut the engine if you put it in gear with the stand down. Good idea until the usual quality Italian electrics kicked in and the bike decided the sidestand was down and stopped the engine. Again. And again. And again. Solution to get home was to drive with my hand on the clutch and at the first sign of trouble, clutch in, switch it off and back on again, restart engine, drop a gear and let the clutch out. Decided on the quick way home so was sat at about 70 doing this faff every 3 or 4 minutes.

Running a stag do event for a farm manager type a few years ago on one of his farms. Him and a load of (getting more and more drunk throughout the day) mates. Us and a few of the farm staff trying to control things a bit...
Pulling donuts in a 200k+ combine harvester.mnot me driving but was a bit mental! Had an old Landrover on aircraft tyres for pest control, bugger all grip but it didn't destroy the fields. That, our WMIK and a Mule quad, plus one of the guest's Merc 4x4 thing all full of tipsy posh blokes armed with paintball guns. The stag on a quad in a fox suit, with 4 smoke grenades taped to it. He got a head start and then the carnage of the 'fox' hunt over around 1500 acres started.
It was pissing it down, soaking wet recently harvested fields. Nothing teally had any traction. I was driving the WMIK, keeping to the tracks as much as possible and trying to stay below 40mph. The Merc went past me at one point, on the actual field and must have been doing 60+. He could barely stay in a straight line and when his front bumper parted company with the rest of the vehicle it nearly took mine and my front passenger's heads off. Thank god the WMIK has a central bar on the roll cage where the windscreen should be!
I have no idea how anyone didn't get killed or at least seriously injured that day. Still, they tipped us nearly as much in cash as they had paid for the whole event and got us blinding drunk once we'd wrestled the vehicle keys off them...

Honestly. Drove drunk. At uni, had borrowed by dads car for the weekend. Car in uni car park, me slaughtered in the Union, intent on walking home when I met an friend who had failed to find a cab to take him home to the other end of town. I volunteered to drive. I got him home and me home safely. But I know I was hammered and it would have taken very little to put me in a horrible situation.

On a similar note, some nasty morning after driving. You know the score, 2 or 3 am finish the night before then driving at 9am to football the next day. Not good.

I now won't drink if I have a car, nothing at all. I also won't drive for 24 hours after a session either. I may be being paranoid but I can live with that.

I was a teenaged pratneck racing another of same along canal towpath - him on Yamaha Fizzer, me on Kawasaki X1, I overtook him of a narrow muddy section, lost it, bike slid into the cut, me half in holding on to my pride and joy (read shabby uninsured nail) while sparring partner legged it back the other way. I managed to drag the bike out under the glare of nearby unamused fisherman.

Think that's it, apart from reversing Shogun with L plates hard into side of ambulance. 😳

Driving while tired is probably the stupidest thing I've done.

Done plenty of skitching on my skateboard, that got pretty hairy fairly often.

Been pulled on my my snowboard, by land rovers, snow mobiles, electric taxi in zermatt, moto x bike and a quad.

Went to a party and forgot my money so borrowed a mates car and drive the 4 miles back to my house. On the way back to the party the "chemicals" started kicking in sooner than expected. Just about made it back before lift off. 😯

Bouncing my brothers GS750 (bored out to 860, with a Yoshi racing kit) off a stone dyke doing "60 mph very fast" certainly wasn't the smartest thing I've ever done. Especially as I didn't have a licence, insurance or even have my helmet strapped up. Also considering I'd already almost binned it half a mile back on a previous corner....

Yup, that was pretty silly really.

Lane splitting on a motorbike on the m4 at 120 with traffic stopped. For several miles. I had to get off at a service station and wait for the traffic to clear. I just couldn't help myself. Probably the most fun I've ever had.

To make it weird my parents were driving the other way going to heathrow and said that they saw me. No comment that I was doing anything in any way unusual...

Drove to and from School when I was 15, left the Car on a nearby Housing Estate.

I went to Hull on a train once.

Bought a turbo diesel VW.

Oh yes. Ran over a policeman on the motorbike. Defused this dangerous situation by going mad and calling him a *. To be fair, he was a *.

Mid 80s working as a motorbike courier.

3 up on a CX500 (I was in the middle), none of us wearing helmets, me tripping my nuts off on acid.

Headed up the M32 out of Bristol for a laugh and raced a Ford Capri, got up to about 90 with the bars weaving like crazy and my laughing my head off and screaming like a loon.

Lots of similar antics but that was probably one of the stupidest.

So glad my kids aren't as stupid as me.

matt_outandabout -
11 in a Lada Estate to the pub one night in remotest Galloway.....

Rolled my Lada. Well, half-rolled it - it wouldn't go fast enough to roll all the way over.

I once changed my trousers at 60 mph down a country road, between Southwell and Hockerton if anyone knows it.
That was bloody sketchy in the extreme!
On the same bit of road, as you come out of Southwell, there's a hump backed bridge over the river Greet. I could get my car well off the floor over that at will.....
I've been in my car, with me doing the pedals, front passenger steering and rear passenger changing gear.
I did a reverse flick to turn round on a side street in Nottingham once.
I use to regularly get a 26tonne Volvo loading shovel sideways coming down off the stockpile. It's quite graceful actually, but you've no chance of getting to back if it goes wrong!

Not me but my mate:
Back in the 80's my mate and his twin brother were occasionally a 'handful'. On this occasion their mum and dad were away on holiday but, knowing what their sons would try to get up to, the dad removed the steering wheel from his fairly new 928.
Fast forward a few days and we'd been to the grand national and had wobbled back to our local (which was within walking distance of most of our homes) for even more beer. At about 10pm there's the sound of a car flying up and down the country lane the pub was on.
'I know that sound' says mate #1 and we rush outside to see the fathers 928 heading back up the road with his brother in the drivers seat.
Little bu99er had grabbed a two pairs of molegrips from the garage and clamped them onto the steering shaft and was using them to steer!

Pretty much my entire early driving career. I grew up in South Africa, where drunk driving is pretty much socially encouraged. I don't know how I survived really. Passenger rides were the worst looking back. In a friends car in the wee hours of the morning, all of us hammered, with him clocking up well in excess of 60mph down suburban streets, not stopping at junctions, but just backing off a bit and flashing his lights. Peer pressure meant we were being cool about it, but that was just being at the fate of someone else's dice roll.

It took me skipping a red light in broad daylight (unfamiliar roads, only one traffic light was working, due to the others being clobbered out of the ground by drunk drivers, and the one working light was at a precarious angle and obscured by a tree) and t-boning a brand new Mercedes with my aunt's car while stone cold sober to wake me up.

Coming back from a good judo convention/week of partying in Wales in the 80s me an the mates managed to drive a fair few miles down the motorway in mk1 RS Turbo with every one asleep including the driver 🙂

I did manage to spin a few Porsches back in the day....as you do...

aged 15, driving/rallying a mates rover 400 around his farm in the snow, I clipped a corner of the barn, but the car seemed to be ok so kept going - 20 minutes later doing about 70mph across a bumpy field the left front wheel rips itself off and throws us into a wild spin - we both walked away, but was very thankful for the seatbelt which I had put on 20 seconds earlier, as the steering wheel and my door fell off!

regularly get towed to the nearest decent hill on my skis when it snows - 40mph doesn't half feel fast when you can't see what's coming!

working on old Jense, which my dad was in the process off splitting for parts, we decided to see if we could work out why the engine was miss firing and generaly not working, so we took the car out of the garage and fired her up - my job was rev the engine, but what he failed to mention was not to go to 100% as the throttle stuck. A year later we were still picking up pieces of Chevy v8 from the garden.

the list is long and embarrassing
took a morris marina for a test drive from the garage I worked at at weekends and rolled it 😳
'drove 'back from pub to party with about 15 mates crammed into mk 2 escort 4 in boot! took 2 to drive it
came off moped fs1e on roundabout having just got round it and scraped pedals for 1st time went back for another attempt scraped a lot harder as it slid down the road.
lost a mates new to him C1 slalom boat from roof, it ended up against crash barrier still in one piece. I am lot more careful now though

Had my 1st car at 13 in 1969 (a 1960's Ford Popular) & used it to 'learn to drive' in an adjacent disused quarry. I later got a Morris 1000 & took the bumpers off & we once coerced a lad to stand on the rear bumper mounts & hang on to the roof gutters while I drove like a loony round the quarry. He was covered in lime dust & could hardly breathe.
After I passed my test it was time for stupidity. Went to a party in Durham with a mate who was also driving, we both had 4 or 5 pints, raided the buffet, filled our cars with pork pies, sausage rolls & a couple of girls each & proceeded to race each other through Durham with the girls chucking buffet food out of the windows as we overtook each other.
Did a ride in Hamsterley one day & decided we wouldn't let Mark back in the car so we locked the doors & slowly eased out of the car park, Mark jumped belly 1st onto the bonnet & was hanging on to the wiper arms. I drove him up to Hamsterley village at 40mph hanging on.
My list is endless!

Caught having sex in a car?

Anyone?

OK, just me then! 🙄

maico 490 on the fire roads and trails in the Brecon beacons ... scared me shitless !
went 1 better 2 years later on an IT495 and broke a leg 🙂

Crashed into my own car. Can't quite remember the details. Alcohol may have been involved 😉

[i]Caught having sex in a car?

Anyone?

OK, just me then![/i]

Outside Beamish museum? & a picnic spot near Causey Arch, Stanley, Co. Durham?

Naa, not just you.

Edit, The Causey Arch one was me & GF in the FRONT of a Mini Pickup. Bout a 1968 model.

Next.

Oohh, years ago, 3 R1's and a Blade - Manchester to Alicante in 1 trip. Literally flat out for an entire day - just mental. At one point I glanced, very briefly, in the mirror. Just happened to be the exact moment a car indicates to pull out a mlie or so down the road. Mate in front rolls off the throttle and sits up. I look back and pass him by about an inch, at 170+. One inch further to the left and we're dead. No question. Wierdly, what I really remember is that past 170 ish with chin on tank it all goes kind of cartoony fast and sort of sucks you in. I left a day early and cruised, relatively, back.

50 mph on my roadbike hanging on to the open window of a mates car... not that daft until you hear the police siren.
Fell off a car in NZ was doing ok until my brother handbraked it round a bend. Still have the gravel in my arm 20 years later

8 of us on a tuk-tuk to go to the local pub in srilanka. Bit of a squeeze.....

Caught having sex in a car?

Anyone?

OK, just me then

I'm not saying where or when, but I'm pretty sure some STWers saw me.

To make matters worse it was a Lacetti, Top Gears reasonably priced car!

Swapping seats with the driver by climbing out the window, over the roof and back in again.

Me and my mates having shit box cars and nudging each other whilst driving.

Driving back on the M1 from a particularly exhuberent bug jam, in convoy, no sleep for 72 hours, mostly chemically assisted (it was the year the Prodigy played) and hydration provided by cheap french beer. Our friend in a split screen camper going up and down lane 2 providing the convoy of 8 Beetles in lane 1 with the remainder of the beer between the cars. There was roof surfing at some point too.

Quite a few stupid things thinking back

- 3 of us in car on a country lane, put the car in second and pointed it straight and all jumped out, left it a few seconds then raced to see who could catchup and jump into the drivers seat first.

- 8 cars abreast racing down a disused runway

- usual antics in the snow, getting a drift on.

Rental Luton overloaded with booze lost on a roundabout.

Not at all worried about Brian in the back.

Young, broke and trying to keep a Ford Fiesta XR2 in tyres as a boy racer....my father told me somewhere that couldnt be beaten for price, on the saturday we set off together, father and son chewing the fat and bonding about cars....I had 4 new tyres put on the beast for a price i was very happy with....

....on the way back i went down a hill which banked right and then rose again, the suspension bottomed out, the new tyres offered bugger all grip and the back end came round on me....we found ourselves sideways in the road looking out of a side window at oncoming traffic, to this day i'll never know how i was able to save a slide that was that far gone, the car came back in line, i moved us onto the correct side of the road and a deathly silence descended on the car....seriously the silence was deafening.

By the time we got home, about another hour together in the car....in silence naturally, my nerves were shredded....i'm guessing my father, being a wise old owl knew exactly what he was doing, i parked and got out of the car....from across the roof of the car he gave me one of those 'dad' looks and just said "dont do that again"....enough said, message received loud and clear so to speak.
I was embarrassed my this episode of driving for literally years, he never had to say anything about it but whenever the topic of crap driving would come up he'd just give me the look and i'd want the ground to open up.

True jedi parenting skills there, how do they do that?!

My brother took a friends moped off a big dirt jump in a park, flat landed it and snapped it in half then fled from a police officer.

Can't say I've done anything particularly stupid in a vehicle, according to the copper that rang on occasion when I was young I was the "clever one".

A long list of things I won't admit to on a public forum, but....
Driving over my own leg on honda atc 200 trike was highly amusing to all spectators!

Started off with me treating country lanes like I was rallying with the encouragement of my mum who was supposed to be be teaching me to drive. Kind of set the tone for the rest of my teens and i shall say no more. Back then I thought I could drive a real car like I would my RC cars and for the most of it I actually could. Scares me thinking about what I used to get away with.

Aged 16 or so riding pillion on a mate's 1000cc bike, never having been on a bike before. He was doing up to 120mph, and never touched the brakes, just dropped it down through the gears to slow down. That was pretty hairy.

Then hiring a moped in Phuket, about 17 years later, with that pillion ride being my only motorbike experience, ever. I managed a steady, controlled pull away from the hire place, got to the end of the road, slowed down. Checked both ways, nothing coming, start to turn right... except I somehow twisted the throttle too much as I was cornering, and as I was accelerating rapidly leaving my intended trajectory I panicked and just kept adding more throttle! Came very close to ploughing straight into the nearby shop window but managed to hit the brakes and get it under control.

When we moved to NZ we got a Subaru Legacy (4WD), I thought I'd take it down a gravel road to test it out... going round a steady left bend I dabbed the accelerator to try to start drifting (had no idea if that was how to do it, just sort of made it up as I went along). Cue big fishtail down the next 100m or so, no idea how I didn't end up in a field, and very lucky that nothing was coming the other way.

Ok - in the 90s I had a Nissan Sunny GTI R the 4wd group N rally car version (made imprezas look steady) and was working in Chertsey near Heathrow - and one summers night after midnight did 238 miles back to North Yorkshire in 2 hours 36 minutes - averaged over 100mph - not that impressive well I stopped for fuel 🙂 same car coming from newcastle down to scotch corner was followed by a Police BMW 5 series and in the traffic officers words "speeds in excess of 150mph" and I got off with the offence as he wrote down the wrong SP code?
Sold it that week and don't think I have done more than 90mph in 25 years - and yes I would take my kids out of the will....

I did a handbrake turn on a narrow country road an hour after passing my test... about 50mph in the dry, in a mini metro - it bounced a long way but somehow didn't roll.

Ripped the exhaust clean off my mini going through a ford up on the moors. 20 mile drive home, sounding like a F1 tractor and some quality flashes from under the bonnet.

A lot of ours were regular group things: Lights off, yeah, regularly. While racing home from the pub in lines of 3 or 4 cars. Trying for the record between the Kentucky and a nightclub, while eating 3 pieces of chicken and a portion of spare ribs and steering with your knees.

Once drove a load of people home from a party I was staying at. Had no intention of driving anywhere, was totally wasted and didn't even know I'd driven them 'til the next day when somebody told me. That was by far my stupidest moment.

One of my mates once turned his engine of to save fuel while freewheeling down sutton bank in N Yorks. Quite a sharp bend at the bottom, especially when your steering lock is on 😆

Teenagers - ****ing dickheads 🙄

Racing a 911 wondering why he kept looking in his mirror at me, then I realised I was at 135mph with my bike still on the roof rack.

As a teenager driven through a town centre using the choke as cruise control on my parents car while my legs were out of the window.

Slid thru a garden wall on a motorbike only for an old school mate come out of the house to pick me up and say I was the seventh thru the wall that year.

Lots n lots more.

Three weeks after passing my driving test and three days after buying my first car, a V8 Land Rover.

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Wheelies in my AEC Militant.

I drove my mum's car into my dads car.

I also crashed into a tree in Tescos car park doing 4.5k of damage.

Dude, you got outdragged by a traction engine

I forgot the time I got the Falcon sideways on a gravel road in NZ that had cliff up on one side and very big drop to the sea on the other. Over corrected and came round the bend fish tailing to find a truck coming the other way. No idea to this day how we missed it or didnt go over the edge, I had my eyes closed.

Not me but a local lad tried crossing his legs over and driving- put his car through Carpet Right window.

I was in my old works Transit pick up (when they were still RWD) and on exiting a round-about thought I'd see if it would drift. Cue what seemed like the longest fish tail in the history of man, I have never spun a wheel from lock to lock so quickly in my life!

The car stuff was when I was young dumb and full of...you get the idea.. But there's no excuse for the stuff I did on a motorbike when I passed my test later in life in my late 20s.

Taped phone to bars pointed at speedo to see what I could get.... 158 if you must know.

My sister lived 100 miles away in Milton Keynes, I could do it in less than an hour.... You work out the average speed.

Treating front facing speed cameras as a delimited area.... There are no front reg plates on a bike remember.

I'm ashamed to say this only stopped this year (I'm 37) when I got a dirt bike instead, I'll likely never own another big CC sport bike again, I just can't rein it in on one so it's best I don't ride on the road anymore.

Riding a micro scooter being towed by a Lotus Elise.

Speeking of incredulous journey times and average speeds.

Middlesbrough to Wokingham, google says it takes 4 hours 30min.

Got a lift in a friends CTR, did it in 4h30. After stopping in Castleford (which isn't on the way) for fish and chips, and calling in on his mum and dad to have a cup of tea to wash the chips down.

Plenty whilst in the army. Donuts in trucks (Canada).
Jumping from truck to truck whilst moving at speed (Gulf War). Airborne for nearly 20mtrs (N. Ireland, flattened the sump and seized engine).
J Turns in a Nissan Patrol (N. Ireland - Armagh helipad, needed to be flat out in reverse and ended up on 2 wheels).
Lisburn to Aldergrove (Belfast International) in less than 15 minutes. Any one that knows that route will appreciate the challenge and the fact it was done in a police spec Vauxhall Omega.
Now I rarely speed and just shake my head at other peoples stupid driving.

Burned out the clutch on an old Talbot my brother and I were given. Cut a hole in the housing and welded the plates together.

Seemed to work fine until about ten minutes later there was a bang and several holes appeared in the bonnet, like it had been machine-gunned from underneath. Never found the bits of clutch.

Speeking of incredulous journey times and average speeds.

Middlesbrough to Wokingham, google says it takes 4 hours 30min.

Got a lift in a friends CTR, did it in 4h30. After stopping in Castleford (which isn't on the way) for fish and chips, and calling in on his mum and dad to have a cup of tea to wash the chips down.

I love stuff like this, its what the magazine Performance Bikes used to be about until it went all grown up....how fast can we get a Hayabusa to the Bosphorus?....how fast can we get a GSRX-1000 round the M25?....can we get a big heavy ZZR1400 to win the Cannonball Bike Run? (to be fair they got 3rd!)....the ring leader was a journo called Dale Lomas who i'm sure wasnt right in the head....sadly for my love of that magazine he went to the Nurburgring, fell in love with the place, had a bad crash and gave up bikes....he's done well though, runs a fleet of hot-hatches from there as hire cars/demonstrators for people wanting to drive the 'Ring in something other than their own vehicle!

172 on a motorbike one early morning, but I wasn't happy unless a journey got into triple figures for speed.

Silliest, hanging out of a mates merc getting my knee down whilst hanging out of the passenger door.

Back when I was a mere slip of a lad (sixteen) a mate's Dad asked me whether I'd been on the back of a motorbike before.

"No" I replied, quite innocently.

An hour of pillion passenger riding later, I returned giddy and impressed at the performance a 305cc bike carrying a total of twenty two stone could msuter.

A few years later, same friend's Dad bought himself an 1100cc machine as a retirement present and offered to take me out on the back of it. Just before we hit the A133 he explained that could keep station with a McLaren F1 all the way to 120mph. Being forewarned didn't prepare me for the savagery of the acceleration that felt like it was trying to wrench me out of my seat. I'm not ashamed to admit that I clung to the bike and to my mate's dad for dear life. I've no idea how fast we actually went, because I couldn't see the speedo. Even if I could it would have been academic as my eyes were clenched shut.

When we returned home, he casually announced that he'd only opened the throttle two thirds of the way. I've never felt like such a wuss in all my life.

Circling a roundabout on a GSX Suzuki at about 60 well leant over I cracked the throttle wide open -- just to see what would happen?
What happened was that the seat dropped six inches or so from under my arse. I rolled off the throttle and it came back into line smoothly. When I got home I found lots of squiggly marks on the side of the tyre.

I once bet some friends I could turn a scrap moped into a motorised skateboard. I did it and survived riding it. Most others who had a go on it lost varying amounts of skin.