Shit dunkers...
 

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[Closed] Shit dunkers...

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Digestives... Too big for my mug. Zero texture once dunked.


 
Posted : 24/08/2020 8:51 pm
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Ginger snaps. Absorb tea quickly and after that it's game over.


 
Posted : 24/08/2020 8:54 pm
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Agreed, digestives ain't wot they used to be. However, you need a bigger mug.


 
Posted : 24/08/2020 8:54 pm
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you need a bigger mug

Get thee down to sports direct!

Pink wafers.


 
Posted : 24/08/2020 8:57 pm
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Digestives… Too big for my mug. Zero texture once dunked.

You need to work on your technique.


 
Posted : 24/08/2020 9:07 pm
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Dunking? You filthy animals.
No soggy crumbs in my coffee.


 
Posted : 24/08/2020 9:21 pm
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Gluten free rich teas.

Can't be done .


 
Posted : 24/08/2020 9:30 pm
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Carefully remove a thin segment from the left hand side of the digestive - no more than necessary to for it to then fit into hot beverage vessel. Using a quick in and out motion, immerse the hot beverage in the digestive.

HTH.


 
Posted : 24/08/2020 9:33 pm
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Ginger snaps. Absorb tea quickly and after that it’s game over.

Getting them in your gob quick is where the sport is, if you like to live on the edge.


 
Posted : 24/08/2020 9:41 pm
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Plain chocolate digestives. Snap in half, fold choccy sides together, then dunk until chocolate melts a bit. Scoff.


 
Posted : 24/08/2020 9:55 pm
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I never thought of folding them together. Genius.


 
Posted : 24/08/2020 10:04 pm
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You can fold them for increased density, but the critical mass will be waiting for you at the bottom of the cup.


 
Posted : 24/08/2020 10:09 pm
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Gluten free rich teas.

Can’t be done .

You found a worse dunker than rich tea.

Well done.

@alpin stop drinking from a dolls tea set and get a proper mug. I'm sure you have a local Sports Direct equivalent in the peoples republic. Or just use a stein.


 
Posted : 24/08/2020 10:12 pm
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With digestives and ginger snaps you have to use a quick dunking technique, followed by a small pause to let the beverage moisten the biscuits inner. Similar to weetabix you don’t want them soggy but you don’t want them too hard.


 
Posted : 24/08/2020 10:13 pm
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Biscuits?  I thought this thread was going to be about anal sex?


 
Posted : 24/08/2020 10:39 pm
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Thread title = worst Pornhub search ever. Probably.


 
Posted : 24/08/2020 10:40 pm
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Hobnobs. Dip me again, I'm going nowhere me son!


 
Posted : 24/08/2020 10:43 pm
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Beat me to it, I was going to say Hob Nobs. Absorbs half your brew then immediately disintegrates back into it.


 
Posted : 24/08/2020 11:14 pm
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Dairylea Dunkers

An abomination of dunking and cheese.

I think that might even beat your gluten free Rich Tea, which doesn't count because it's clearly just a piece of pale cream hardboard.

Now if you want some proper it's so wrong it's right dunking may I recommend a bacon and cheese baguette dipped in some strong black coffee.


 
Posted : 24/08/2020 11:15 pm
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Now if you want some proper it’s so wrong it’s right dunking may I recommend a bacon and cheese baguette dipped in some strong black coffee.

Hardcore! But only if the cheese is Stilton.


 
Posted : 24/08/2020 11:29 pm
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The thin Arrowroot biscuit. 0.2sec optimal dunk <—- Exceeding this by even a trivial amount will leave you with a nasty stain on your sofa/carpet/cat

A rich tea finger can be a tricky dunk, but a fruit shortcake will suck at some hot tea like a parched prole in Patmos, dissolving the sugar and instantly loosening the structure at key weak-points (ie the currants)

The effect is worsened on account of the decorative edge, lending a greater-surface-area which in layperson’s terms = more weak sugary biscuit-edge to soak up liquid much tea soon. What a mess.


 
Posted : 24/08/2020 11:40 pm
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Figgy rolls?
Mrs whatsername coconut maccaroons?

Jaffa cakes work a treat I know that much.


 
Posted : 24/08/2020 11:47 pm
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Surely the only dunking going on in middleclasstrackworld is

Standards need to be maintained, after all


 
Posted : 25/08/2020 12:08 am
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Binners, clearly your mate ^^^ has a different sort of dunking on his mind.

Regarding biscuits - only ginger snaps; never, ever in coffee; only in black tea.

Anything else is the devil's work - never green, peppermint or any of those vile herbal/fruit 'teas'.


 
Posted : 25/08/2020 12:20 am
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trail_rat
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Gluten free rich teas.

Can’t be done .

It can, as long as the milk is dairy free and the tea is some sort of herbal bullshit.

I got excited when I saw the gluten free rich teas and hobnobs, ooh, another thing that I thought I wouldn't be able to eat again, lovely! Got them home, tucked in, remembered I don't like rich teas and hobnobs even when they're not made of millet, whatever that is, and sawdust.

PS, forget all that shit, tesco's own brand GF orange choccy biscuits are literally just round Club bars, so damn good.


 
Posted : 25/08/2020 2:45 am
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First time I watched that Peter Kay set I couldn't move. Just brilliant. The Marriiine of biscuits!


 
Posted : 25/08/2020 7:19 am
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Greggs Yumyum, the true king of dunkers.


 
Posted : 25/08/2020 7:58 am
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Apparantly the trick to successful dunking is all in the angle of attack. You want maximum surface area absorbtion without penetrating so far you weaken the structural integrity. IIRC the scientific evidence* says a shallow angle of attack at <15deg is optimal.

Greggs Yumyum, the true king of dunkers.

I'll take your Yum Yum and raise you a doughnut from Tantrum.

*I'm not just talking out my hole here, this is really a thing.


 
Posted : 25/08/2020 9:27 am
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In a previous job we investigated this.

Much to our surprise Custard creams were very reaisliant.

I also managed to sink digestives into a colleagues mug of tea when he left it at his desk. Ended up in him either thinking there was a biscuit in the bottom of the cup and digging about with a spoon. Or not realising and necking his tea with said lumpy surprise.

Most I managed was 2 biscuits in one cup.

(This was retalliation for him sticking banana to the ceiling).


 
Posted : 25/08/2020 10:23 am

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