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Apologies for the downer and hopefully the thread title was enough warning.
Mrs Danny is a nurse and is working this morning. Text her to see how she was getting on and she's had a patient die and as the senior nurse on the ward she's been the one who had to tell the family.
It's upset her greatly and I don't know how she does it. I know I couldn't.
Hats off and a glass raised to all those doing difficult jobs today - puts it all in perspective.
It’s awful part of the reason I’ve been off for 3 months is very much having to do that, on special occasions like to today it’s 10x harder. Make sure you are just there for her when she comes in.
Big up for those emergency and essential workers today!
Big respect to anyone who looks after people and has to deal with this.
Makes sure Mrs Danny is looked after later.
Oh I will be. First Christmas on years she's been really looking forward to as well.
At least our families are all coming round so hopefully the afternoon will still be fun.
Yeh, MrsPants is at the hospital just now, too. Unlikely to see any deaths as she's on the labour ward but every now & then the shit hits
worse than all that, apparently she's dressed up as an elf
It's a terrible terrible part of their job, I picked Mrs W up from work one Christmas morning after her shift, she'd had to tell a 2 yr old parents that she'd died just awful. 🙁
No idea how she does it, and it's never taken into account t the toll that that side of medicine has in the staff, it just grinds them down eventually.
I guess all we can do is listen if they want to talk and suppy a cuddle and wine when they get home eh mate.
Know the feeling sadly.Im a police officer working night shift last night and had to go visit a family's home to tell them their son was killed in a car crash when he was driving over to see them for Christmas.
Hard part of the job and impossible not to get caught up by it. 😥
All you can do is be there if she needs to talk and offer a cuppa when she get home.
on the other side of life, mrs b delivered the 1st christmas baby in aberdeen at 2am today.
She's currently in bed, to do it all again tonight. We'll have a manic couple of hrs of eating present swapping before she heads out again.
Anyone whose job involves delivering life shattering news like the above gets my utmost respect. Must be heartbreaking and inside a peice of you must get broken each time.
Big hugs and time out required imo, try not to force xmas joy onto anyone who is not feeling festive. and tea, obvs.
I used to be a nurse, a long time ago now. Not a pleasant part of the job telling people that their relative had died, made worse for me in that I have a tendency to smile in stressful situations. I used to always worry that I would smile inappropriately, which would make it more stressful... I always appeared to keep this under control, but it used to make an awkward situation more so.
One consolation was that relatives, since they had come into a hospital, usually had some inclination that death was a possibility, I think keith74 and the police must have it much harder.
Dealt with a road death on Christmas day once. Granny had been at the son's house for the big family celebration and crashed and died on the way home. Had to tell the family on the day, then return all her presents and arrange formal identification soon after. One of the most difficult things I've ever had to do. I thought it didn't bother me too much at the time, 'cos I'm a hairy arsed traffic sergeant who just gets on. Truth be told, this one pops into my head every Christmas. Will be glad to retire in under 2 years, no one is impervious to tragedy.
since they had come into a hospital, usually had some inclination that death was a possibility
Mrs Danny works on a post surgical ward so unfortunately quite often they have come in expecting their relatives yuk be better.
But yes, sometimes it is not unexpected which helps a bit. Don't know the circumstances of this one yet.
Yup that’s me downshep I try to be old school and get on with it despite telling staff not to do that. It’s took a horrible toll on me and caught up big time. Still I’m in a far better place than I was a little way to go yet though.
Telling relatives that a loved one had died was always the worst bit of the job for me too, so a big shout out to Mrs DbG today and anyone else who has to break the worst news ever.
Locally a chap killed in a flat fire on christmas eve and a chap killed in a rtc with a bus stop in liverpool overnight, also a freind has died of a brain tumour.
Big thanks to the emergency services for being there over christmas.
That's a tough start to today OP.
Daughter working her first Christmas Day right now as a newly qualified Nurse. Other daughter back to work tomorrow as a
junior doc. It has really made me appreciate all of you and your relatives who do this kind of work, and all the stuff - both good and bad - that you see and deal with daily.
My job can be tough at times with plenty of public contact but it doesn't compare to what they do.
I've huge respect to anyone who works for the NHS, or Emergency Services etc, but really can't see the point of this post.
It's a given, surely and can't be easy, but what the heck is the point of posting this today?
Got these two texts this morning...
Puts it into context
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It's a given, surely and can't be easy, but what the heck is the point of posting this today?
Because it deeply upset Mrs Danny and I and wanted to get it off my chest - is all.
Hence trying to make the title as obvious as possible not to read if you didn't want to read such shit
I have nothing but respect and admiration for those who work in nursing and the emergency services. Big Christmas hugs and best wishes to them all. Nurses are brilliant and kept Mrs Funk and me sane when Funk Jr was born. We almost lost him twice in the first fortnight.
Two weeks ago they were once again amazing. Mrs Funk rushed to hospital with sepsis and pneumonia and Lil Miss Funk with bronchiolitis at seven weeks old. Long shifts with a full ward and they were still there for us.
It's a given, surely and can't be easy, but what the heck is the point of posting this today?
My guess is Danny felt empty and useless not being able to help his wife and looked for support, he reached out here and has been offered in praise as well those saying how tough it is. Maybe you could have just moved on.
It's a given, surely and can't be easy, but what the heck is the point of posting this today?
I would have thought that was glaringly obvious, at least to more empathic people.
You didn’t have to open the thread, let alone read it or comment.
Give her a big hug dannybgoode and tell her how much her efforts are appreciated. It definitely takes its toll over the years. I've just spent two weeks working on a tragic case with multiple child fatalities. Today is the first full day off in 13.
This may not makes sense but what's affected me most, is understanding how little affect it's had on me. And that only hit me today.
Danny, all you can do is be there for her at the end of the shift. It will seem to you like it’s inadequate - but it will be what she needs immediately afterwards.
I have been there many times, Mrs JAMJ has been a nurse for 14 years and mostly on older adult psychiatric wards where people often end their lives and the teams build strong relationships with the people in their care.
It’s tough, but from your posts here over the years, I would be confident you will do the right thing.
As a Paramedic, I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve had to tell family the worst news. It never a gets easy. Fellow colleagues are always good to talk to, but it’s not always the answer for everyone. To Mrs Danny, if there’s any concern get help, you don’t have to deal with it alone
I remember when a student Paramedic asked if they could come with me as I broke the news that despite our efforts their loved one was dead and we couldn’t do anything more. There was a lot of shouting and screaming from the relatives which left my soon to be qualified colleague somewhat shocked. Fortunately they were able to witness a different situation where the family were calmer. Both situations left them with quite an impression. The ability to react to the family and their questions can be very tricky
In total awe of you guys.
Thank you.
I've just spent two weeks working on a tragic case with multiple child fatalities.
GMP? If so, that's a particularly shit one mate.
This may not makes sense but what's affected me most, is understanding how little affect it's had on me. And that only hit me today.
It makes perfect sense. I had this about a year ago. It really threw me actually.
Its a part of the job and doing it well can help the bereaved. I only have to do this in the context of old folk and expected deaths and its still hard but knowing you have done the right things, said the right things and made the passing as close to " a peaceful dignified death with your loved ones close" helps both the staff member and the bereaved.
give her a hug.