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It goes like this..... Dec 2011 I started dating a woman who'd just been dumped by her husband of 15 years. I was described as her 'rock' and we were a couple. Three months later she got 'confused' and dumped me saying she wanted space... only to be back on my case within a few days saying she made a mistake and we got back together. I then learned the night after she dumped me she went for a drink with another fella and it turned out he was boring.
We moved in together fell out, she moved out in April this year and we carried on seeing each other and things were OK, but the same problems hung around. We're both quite hot headed and when we argue boy we went for it. We ended up falling out again 10 days ago.
I desperately love this woman and she's admitted she loves me but we can't live together.... I've spent the last week feeling quite ill and convinced another charmer who goes to the roller rink she works at has seen a crack and gone for it. Friday night I came out of Pizza hut with my daughter and her car (financed by me, in my name) is parked outside a pub.
Temptation got the better of me and I went in, I knew there was someone else involved and there was. She was sat with a guy who's a bit of a nice guy but also renown for being a bit opportunistic. I confronted them, poured my soul to her in front of him and left. We spoke yesterday morning and she told me she loves me but it can't work. I've begged her to talk to me, giving me hope that we could meet up on Tuesday night.
I went for a skate tonight and she wasn't working, even though she said earlier she would be. After some driving about and calling her she told me straight. She's in a departure lounge with this fella. He was offered two places on a family holiday and they were going 'as friends' and was sorry for hurting me, but now I know the truth. I'm devastated, I feel like a total pratt. She's a trainee beautician and has waxed this fellas back on a few occasions and chatted with him at the roller rink. I don't think anything was going on before we split, she just craves attention and he's pounced as soon as she's announced she's single.
Now, the relevance to the thread is this. In January, here 9 year old Yaris was having issues so stupid me suggested trading it in for a new one. So the £1800 trade in was agreed and we bought a brand new one that costs £200 a month. Now we've split up she's saying I bullied her into it and whilst she's paying for the car I now have 2.5 years to be tied to this woman, because of a car.
She's off with him on holiday and I have a spare key. I could probably just about get what is left owing on it, but she'd be left with nothing for a new car. Should I even stop and think about this or shall I go get the car and just do it??
I have the documents of ownership etc so it's above board.
It's your car so sell it.
****in 'ell. Car-crash T.V. this.
Seriously, sell the car and move on. She's a wrong'n.
and has waxed this fellas back on screw occasions
Euphemism of the year.
Your car to do with as you see fit
As above. But make sure you video her when you inform her of this course of action. Then post it on here
You don't actually say who's name the finance agreement is in? If its solely yours then go for it, but not if its joint. Also who's lead on the insurance?
Also factor in the cost of a new main key.
You are better off without her in every way.
Just walk away and if the car is legally yours then you can sell it. But, you will need to give her back the £1800 that she put in at the start by way of the part ex.
Use these 2 weeks wisely and read what you have written in your post pretending it's not you posting. The relationship has already failed and you have given it more than enough of your time.
In a years time you'll realise that you did the right thing.
Jesus...
Do people actually rollerskate nowadays?
Wow.
I see your future on Jeremy Kyle. 😉
She obviously isnt into you. Hence the dates/casting around. Plus get tested.
another charmer who goes to the roller rink she works at has [b]seen a crack and gone for it[/b]
😯
Dont do anything rash with the car, at least get a few valations before you sell it, as you only had the car since Jan with £1800 trade in it may not be worth what you owe.
Might be better to keep hold of it for a little longer.
Its tough but the best thing to do is not to make any rash decisions that you may regret in the near future.
She on the other hand is a total wrongun, no doubt.
Classic stuff, trainee beauticians at the roller rink. The NE is a true throw back to the '80s.
What do you think they are doing on holiday?
You don't go on holiday with someone out of the blue. Unbeknown to you she has probably had this one simmering for a while.
The best you can do is wait until shes back and speak like an adult- the car needs to go thrn you can get on with your life. I think you've kept going back as you thought she was a victim messed up by her husband. Maybe there was more there than meets the eye/you were told about breakup?
Pizza Hut, Roller Rink, Yaris, waxing, trainee Beautician?! Obviously made up.
[quote=damo2576 ]Pizza Hut, Roller Rink, Yaris, waxing, trainee Beautician?! Obviously made up.
Shame on you, feel the man's pain (not literally) time to get a cheap Yarris 🙂
zokes - Member - Quote
As above. But make sure you video her when you inform her of this course of action. Then post it on here
Yep post any vids you have 😉
North East, skating you say?
What would happen if she stopped paying?
a roller skating back waxing two timing Yaris driver, what a catch.
Three months later she got 'confused' and dumped me saying she wanted space...
At that point, you should have jumped out the nearest window.
She's a trainee beautician and has waxed this fellas back on a few occasions
Is this a euphemism, or do manly northern men regularly prep up like this?
£200 a month for the next 2.5 years - in women terms quite a cheap lesson...
But, is it worth that for a shag everytime she decides she fancies you again - obviously we've no pictures to be able to make a 'value' judgement?
Or if you've signed the agreement, and want out, take it back and sort out the finance and/or keep the car. You'll need to sort out the insurance and get a supplementary V5 (if her name is on it).
At that point, you should have jumped out the nearest window.
But only if you were on the ground floor...
EDIT: In fact, a door might just be a safer option all round
As for refunding the £1800 deposit... Presumably this would be reduced in line with the overall depreciation in value? Bit dull but don't get generous whilst getting 'shafted'...
Bit dull but don't get generous whilst getting 'shafted'...
It's his semi-ex missus who's getting shafted, it seems...
If you let her, this woman will lead you around the garden path for years. It may hurt, but console yourself with the fact that it's been a lucky escape and feel sorry for the next poor bugger.
I wouldn't sell the car out of spite/revenge. Wait until she gets back and tell her what needs to happen; you sell the car or she buys you out.
Otherwise;
[img] http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTcrjYqp6_iIOHQzqzR0by7H1zVxCgU3Pcin6fH0AAv2tZHejyZpg [/img]
Whilst doing an image search for judge judy, I found this and thought I'd share........
[img] 
[/img]
😯 😯 😯 😯
Are you a door mat? Maybe you should buy her a house while she's on holiday?
Either keep the car and use it or sell it. Have nothing whatsoever to do with her again. If you do she will walk over you.
As for refunding the £1800 deposit... Presumably this would be reduced in line with the overall depreciation in value? Bit dull but don't get generous whilst getting 'shafted'...
Also, a knackered 9 year old Yaris wasn't worth £1800 when you traded it in anyway.
A discount off the new one was shifted across to your Part Exchange valuation to make you feel better.
(People don't generally like being told what their car is [b]actually[/b] worth, so this is common practice)
(People don't generally like being told what their car is actually worth, so this is common practice)
As an aside, in the crazy car market that is South Australia's, our beat up Hyundai Getz (that I grudgingly paid $5000 for six months previous when we first got here) had shot up in value to over $9000 when we traded it in for an ex-demo that Land Rover were desperately trying to shift 😯
You ?~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~miles~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~? her
Get shot of her fast.
No 'just friends'
No texting
No 'bumping' into..
As has been said, this cow will make your life a misery if you let her.
No hole is worth your sanity.
...oh, and judge judy?
I would.
(I bet she's got some ace 'outfits'!) 🙂
Fnarr.
if she needs the car to get to work she'll be mighty angry! can she get a bus? cycle? 😛
but get her gone, you say you love her but you argue, what you are feeling is loyalty, it isn't love. get shot of her.
If all the car details are in your name, sell it and don't answer any of her calls. Screw her £1800 deposit, was there any proof that she provided it? That'll teach her to go around messing people's lives up. Karma big time 😈
Where's the roller rink in Newcastle?
As ever, Goldie Lookin' chaion have the answer:
Run. For. Your. Life.
It's not, it' in Wigan where I live.Where's the roller rink in Newcastle
+1 to the comments about the trade value being skewed by not showing a discount, it was worth about £1500 tops. She can swivel for that, her father's already told her to hand the car back to me so I need to do this to protect me from being lumbered with a car I don't need and £200 a month for the pleasure.
daleftw - Member
Where's the roller rink in Newcastle?
Fancy, erm, getting yer back waxed like pet?
so I need to do this to protect me from being lumbered with a car I don't need and £200 a month for the pleasure.
Great, whatever, just make sure you video it!
😉
This has almost as much potential as the 19 year old and the hired (but non-insured) R32 thread on pistonheads!
Sell the car and change the locks at home. This should get the message across to her I'd think.
IF I was the OP I think I'd become a hermit, sell everything and live in a yurt, shunning all human interaction.
Clearly whoever he gets involved with be it personal or professional just seems to turn into a disaster, if his posting history is anything to go by.
This has almost as much potential as the 19 year old and the hired (but non-insured) R32 thread on pistonheads!
Link please 🙂
Sell the car.
In fact, sell your house, move to another town, change your phone number. Hell, emigrate. I hear Australia is nice this time of year.
In short, RUN! She sounds like a complete disaster area.
While you're at it, give yourself ten hail Marys for getting yourself in this mess.
Hell, emigrate. I hear Australia is nice this time of year.
Nope, it's shit. Don't come here 😀
I think she has 2 options.
a) she pays up and keeps the car, puts the finance in her own name or whatever
b) you sell it and give her back what she put into it.
I think out of courtesy you should tell her what you plan to do and give her the option of taking the car (and the finance) off you, whilst reimbursing you for anything you have paid towards it. She should, however, get what she has put in to it back.
She hasn't behaved very well at all, but that does not mean that it's ok to withhold money or sell her car without notice. Two wrongs not making a right and all that....after I left my ex partner, he left me paying off a loan that I'd taken out for him to help because he was in mortgage arrears, stating that I "forfeited the money when I left him". Money and relationship issues are separate things IMO.
Link please
Was a good read for a couple of days.
Has there been a follow up thread with any updates?
She hasn't behaved very well at all, but that does not mean that it's ok to withhold money or sell her car without notice.
It may very well transpire that it never was her car, he just let her use it
Flippin heck, the PH thread is now at 40+ pages! I was on top of it until about 20... Gives me something to read at lunchtime...
OP - sell the car, everything of hers that you might be in possession of etc. Forget about it. Move on... Sounds like a slag.
How old are you? Forgive me, but you sound very young. I'd say you have your own psychological issues which keep you drawn to this girl. I think you may have low self esteem and little or no self-confidence. Do you come from a troubled home background? Sympathies.
This girl is poison for you. I know it's all exciting - fighting and then amazing making- up sex, but it's doing your head in.
Sell the car, if it really is legally yours, give her some of her stake back - maybe a grand - she can easily get new wheels with that. And never have anything to do with her again.
Do you come from a troubled home background? Sympathies.
This has to be a contender for most patronising post EVER on STW, no?
This thread has such potential, please don't let it fizzle out...
She has been knobbing him for months - you don't on vacation "just like that"
Sell the car. Shag her best mate ...
If she's reasonable and you're up for it, maybe ask her for the main key when she gets back from her... friend... holiday? It'll be tough to flog that bad boy otherwise.
She has been knobbing him for months - you don't on vacation "just like that"
I would. 😳 But, then, I haven't been abroad in 10 years, so I'm an easy [s]crack[/s] target.
Surely taking the car on a tour of the local dogging spots and leaving some used "Evidence" in the back would be suitable.
Don't forget the note "Apologies I had to use the car as mine was having a service and I needed to keep up my appearances. I'll clean it when I get chance."
The V5 is not proof of ownership, only who the registered keeper is. If there is outstanding finance on it, then much like a house it belongs to the finance company. You can, without prejudice return the vehicle back to Toyota and call-in the loan irrespective of Insurance and V5 details. Tell her to bog-off
I can guarantee you that she WILL NOT keep up any repayments - first 2-3 months she will, then she will be short one month, then nothing the next.... been there done that, so has a mate..
To the OP: to correct Shibboleth's incorrect interpretation: I am not patronising you, just extending an empathetic virtual hand is all.
dooosuk - Member
> http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&f=23&t=1316567&mid=49649&nmt=Got+stopped+driving+without+insurance+in+an+R32+please+help%2E
That R32 thread is just getting good - I'm 7 pages in and new evidence indicates it could be genuine - who knows how it'll end!
[img] 
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It must be a pretty tough thing to go through knowing that she's away with someone else. If I was in your position I'd like to think that my advice to myself would be to maintain my dignity and show the respect that she should have shown to you. But I think that if you wait and tell her of your wish to separate and get rid of the car/debt on her return then she'll play to your emotions to keep what she wants.
So maybe tell her, prepare yourself her response and then do what you need to sever ties. For what it's worth, I've never been able to do that with any degree of ease so good luck.
Sell the car, buy a 9 year old Yaris and give it to her to cover her loss. Find out what colour she likes first. Probably best not to go back her to be honest, sounds like a pattern....
Sell the car and buy her a biscuit, more like.
I think she has 2 options.a) she pays up and keeps the car, puts the finance in her own name or whatever
b) you sell it and give her back what she put into it.
c) just say sorry and let the [s]loser[/s] OP keep paying for the car whilst being a bit more discrete about her "back-waxing" activities
Don't sell the car; it isn't yours. Nor is it hers with the finance I assume is outstanding. £200 a month on a new car? No doubt there is a balloon payment at the end, too.
Read the small print on the Finance docs, there will be clauses for getting out early. Don't expect them to be great for you; usually 50% of payments trigger a release.
The best you can hope for is to walk away with nothing.
And keep walking, plenty more fish on the beach and everything. She's toxic.
The Piston Heads R32 thread [url= http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&f=23&t=1316567&mid=49649&nmt=Got+stopped+driving+without+insurance+in+an+R32+please+help%2E ]link[/url] is epic. It just keeps getting better and better, a real roller coaster and worth a read. I followed it live and I couldn't believe the sheer stupidity of some people.
Back on to Roller Girl.... She's a guaranteed wrong un so walk away with what little dignity you have left. You'll need it to drive the Yaris 🙂
shermer75 - Member
Sell the car, buy a 9 year old Yaris and give it to her to cover her loss. Find out what colour she likes first. Probably best not to go back her to be honest, sounds like a pattern....
I think you mean find out what colour she likes and then get one in a violently different shade?
Dear OP,
You have made our day, on top of a great thread read , dozens of male STWers now feel so much better about their own relationships , many thanks( toddles off to make missus a cuppa and gives her a cuddle)
My tuppence ha'ppeny - ring finance company explain situation and possibly give the car back , DONT go back to her as she is gonna shaft you financially and emotionally
Another one will be along soon enough who will actually respect monogomy
You own it and financed the debt then pull your socks up and sell it !
And put the money in your Daughters account.
another charmer who goes to the roller rink she works at has seen a crack and gone for it. 😯
<tryingtobenice tryingtobenice tryingtobenice oh f-ck it>
GROW. SOME. BALLS.
<tryingtobenice tryingtobenice tryingtobenice oh f-ck it>GROW. SOME. BALLS.
And get them waxed.
Surely this is an option - soup kitchen!
That PH thread was a disappointment in the end. Went all STWish and got closed. Now we'll never know...
Check the finance, if it's less than 14 days ago you may be within the cooling off period.
hypnotoad - MemberCheck the finance, if it's less than 14 days ago you may be within the cooling off period
Try actually reading the first post in the thread before making [s]useful[/s]useless suggestions.
Check the finance, if it's less than 14 days ago you may be within the cooling off period.
Wow.
Didn't even read the first post.
Well played sir 😉
Waynes World- you know its got an underground cult following? You'd think by now people would find it abit dated/sad.
Cassandra...sha-wing!
Move the car to a mate's house where you can park it out of sight? It's yours after all. Then you get time to sort out finances and sell / return or whatever. And she can't do nothing.
You idiot O.P.
Sell the car and dump the b&tch.
Move on with and there are plenty of fish out there.
You love her. She doesn't love you. You found out. Thank god. It hurts but you'll live.
Never date a woman who is just divorced! Wait till a year min or you'll be the rebound.
Keep all receipts and loan details in case she takes you to small claims court for the car.
MICK
sell the car and move on. cut the ties and be happy.
that 200 quid a month can buy you alot of things. put it towards a new bike or a holiday for yourself and go enjoy yourself instead of making yourself ill over something which isnt going to work....EVER
LIVE AND LEARN