[Closed] "school bans triangle shaped flapjacks" shocker

It's health and safety gone mad, etc.

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woah, drac's fainted from shock(ah)

surely you're more likely to get hit by a corner when a four sided flapjack is thrown than a three sided one?

Ban Toblerone instead - damaged me for life, triangular chocolate is a sick idea.

So they haven't banned flapjacks in the shape of ninja throwing stars? Seems an obvious loophole.

Next time I make some for mini aracer to take into school I shall cut them into ninja star shapes. If you're going to throw them you might as well do it right.

Me too, i can put on 2 lbs just by looking at a Toblerone

This is what happens when children are allowed to eat their school dinners without wearing googles and hard hats.

maybe it's cover for the fact that in essex triangles are too complicated

edit: working took too long to post.

its nanny state ect ect,,, getting boring now

wouldn't it be better to ban 'throwing flapjacks' or indeed 'throwing stuff at people' rather than start an ever escalating geometric ban list, otherwise those pesky kids will be demanding rhombic flapjacks before long and they're a menace of acute angled danger!

Does this apply to sandwiches too?

If you follow the [url= http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/flapjacks ]How to cook flapjacks[/url] link on that page, it clearly says "[i]Flapjacks are chewy biscuits made from rolled oats, golden syrup or honey, fat (usually butter) and sugar. They’re baked in a flat tin and [b]cut into squares or rectangles[/b] while still warm[/i]."

Rules are there for everyone's safety. This unfortunate incident is what happens when you disregard them.

Does this apply to sandwiches too?

only stale ones...ninja throwing sandwiches are the only ranged defence against an enemy armed with week old baguettes...

[i]wouldn't it be better to ban 'throwing flapjacks' or indeed 'throwing stuff at people'[/i]

This man should be Prime Minister

steady there amedias - nobody's talking stale baguettes here. It's just a bit of fun. Let it go; he's not worth it

*checks crusty baps*

[i]crusty baps[/i]

Didn't she used to do the cookery on TV am?

nobody's talking stale baguettes here

not yet they're not... but mark my words, this will escalate....

today its flapjacks and sandwiches, tomorrow its a baguette, before you know it they'll be sharpened potatoes and blood will be spilled...

wwaswas - Member
crusty baps
Didn't she used to do the cookery on TV am?

Just make them circular. No corners to hurt the poor wee kiddies. At least in Euclidian geometry.

[i] sharpened potatoes[/i]

"Look Out! He's got a brocolli florette and he's not afraid to use it!"

[edit]
[i]
You taking the piss out of my eczema [/i]

just scratching the surface, really.

they'll revert back due the cost... you get twice as much as a rectangle.

Surely any ninja looking for optimal range and damage would be using ryvita crackers?

Shudders in fear at a future ripe with weaponised vegetables....

Oh Jesus, it's going to end up all durian and starfruit in the ghettos

there's no-win-no-fee gold in them there hills.

Oh Jesus, it's going to end up all durian and starfruit in the ghettos

And it'll be a nightmare at airports if the metal detectors can't tell when they're packing wheat...

Oh Jesus, it's going to end up all durian and starfruit in the ghettos

What a pointless ban.

Maybe the kid who got hit was gluten intolerant?

[i]Maybe the kid who got hit was gluten intolerant? [/i]

Why does gluten in that context sound like a swear word out of a Just William book?

"How did little Johnny react to being hit in the face with a Flapjack William?"

"I'd say he was gluten intolerant of it!"

From the Independents coverage of the story;

[i]Famously, Education Secretary, Michael Gove, was stopped from taking flapjacks - given to him by his wife - into a cabinet meeting in 2011.

He was detained by security at the time and told the flapjacks were a security risk and would not be allowed in the cabinet room.
[/i]

So there you have it, food based health and safety hysteria extends to the heart of government.

Make them boomerang shaped then the thrower has the risk that if they miss it might come back and hit them. That'll make them think twice.

Oh Jesus, it's going to end up all durian and starfruit in the ghettos

I'll have you know that Durian and Starfruit are fine, upstanding children and their mummy and daddy wouldn't dream of letting them ever going to the ghetto, Esher high street is the limit.

Famously

?

before you know it they'll be sharpened potatoes

Chips?

Oh Jesus, it's going to end up all durian and starfruit in the ghettos

Durian =
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Can i just say that this is my new favourite "news" story of all time!

I've been laughing so hard in the car listening to it unfolding on the radio that other people think i've lost the plot (they are probably correct)

And of course, as other have mentioned, where does one draw the line? Many years back a girl i shared a house with very nearly removed my eye with a stick of celery! Perhaps from now one all celery should be fitted with rubber "safety" caps like this:

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😉

I have to say this thread is simply crying out for some flapjack related puns.

Sounds like the caterers are using Ankh Morpork dwarves to create war flapjacks!

A little less baking and the come out softer when cool.

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DrP

From wikipedia;

[i]its odor is best described as pig-shit, turpentine and onions, garnished with a gym sock. It can be smelled from yards away[/i]

sounds like [i]ideal[/i] school dinner material, tbh.

Surely circular flapjacks are the answer; no corners? Or would their frisbee like shape make them better projectiles??

Round flapjacks? You're getting dangerously close to florentine petit fours territory there....

The square ones with corners dipped in depleted chocolate are my weapon of choice in a tight corner.

@thelostboy - circular flapjacks are clearly the most dangerous as they have an infinite number of corners (triangle = 3, square = 4, pentangon = 5 etc)

What we need is the two sided flapjack

I wish someone would risk asses our kids not being exposed to enough risks.
Oh hang on, they did...

.
.
(Summary: the Health and Safety Executive say we should expose kids to more risk.)

I have to say this thread is simply crying out for some flapjack related puns.

It's oatally outrageous.

Careful, I have a feeling that this thread will be rolled over and come to a sticky end.

Who throws a flapjack? That's where it starts, but I can tell thee where it ends: That's a criminal in the making.

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As far as i can tell, although the recent confirmation of the Higgs Bosun (sic) may have possibly shed new light on the subject, Flapjacks only ,fortunately, exist in basic 3d geometery. The thought of their possible pan-dimesional impact across fractal and inter-dimensional time and space is beyond worrying.........

You gotta love the comment:

[i]A spokesman for the Health and Safety Executive said: "We often come across half-baked decisions taken in the name of health and safety, but this one takes the biscuit. [/i]

America has states arming teachers in schools. UK a school bans flapjacks as someone got an owee.

I can't help thinking this is a bit if an early April fool.

To quote the news article

A spokesman for the Health and Safety Executive said: "We often come across [b]half-baked[/b] decisions taken in the name of health and safety, but this one takes the [b]biscuit[/b].

Edited: Just seen that "b r" has already picked up on this quote

Shudders in fear at a future ripe with weaponised vegetables....

before you know it they'll be sharpened potatoes and blood will be spilled...

Nah, sharpening them's no good, they won't fit properly down the barrel:

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http://potato-spud-cannon-gun.blogspot.co.uk/