Scalpel free vasect...
 

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[Closed] Scalpel free vasectomy.....

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Just reading through the notes.......

"You may wish to bring some interesting reading material" - means what exactly, I wonder. Ernest Hemingway while it's tool time downstairs?

Sperm test after 16 weeks and it can take 25 ejaculations to, and I qoute, "clear the pipes". Won't I go blind? Her indoors will only help so far I'm sure.

Your experiences gratefully received gentlemen - but pain doesn't phase me (especially with the Tesco whisky deals on)


 
Posted : 02/12/2010 10:43 pm
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Two bricks. Doesn't hurt. Well, not if you keep your thumbs out of the way...
<boom, tish>


 
Posted : 02/12/2010 10:46 pm
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I could never be bothered to do the post-op test. The possibility of having another kid seemed like less hassle than trailing over to the hospital with a bottle of ejaculate.


 
Posted : 02/12/2010 10:50 pm
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I could never be bothered to do the post-op test

A license to **** legitimately! That's what the post-op test is.


 
Posted : 02/12/2010 10:55 pm
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The deed is done.
Chatted to the doc and nurse while listening to sizzling and smelling burning flesh. Saw the smoke rise from downstairs and had to point out that I could feel it - prompting another needle into the gristly orb.
Dentist tomorrow.
Merry Christmas.


 
Posted : 22/12/2010 8:26 pm
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How did they do it if it was scalpel free?

I had "the scalpel" a few weeks back. Everything was reet after a couple of days. My nut-sack looks well 'ard with its dueling scars.

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Posted : 22/12/2010 8:29 pm
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Hats off to you. I really could do with getting done but i have a fear of blood tests let alone someone plum juggling with their scalpel or laser.

I have no bottle 🙁


 
Posted : 22/12/2010 8:33 pm
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How did they do it if it was scalpel free?

Injected local > 'punched' a hole > pulled tubes through > cut n burn > tucked them back in.

All in under an hour. Got in early as the bloke before me didn't show up.


 
Posted : 22/12/2010 8:38 pm
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[b]PUNCHED A HOLE![/b] 😯

I'm glad I had the knife! 2x10mm cuts, over and done in 25 minutes.


 
Posted : 22/12/2010 8:42 pm
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Oh God i feel sick...............


 
Posted : 22/12/2010 8:43 pm
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Its quite an intersting op to watch, I saw mine. It didnt hurt, just felt slighlty delicate for a while afterwards.

Thats a lot better than hearing from some girl that your now a dad.


 
Posted : 22/12/2010 8:45 pm
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Cracking bit of timing as I'm just about to make the first steps to this myself. How does one proceed? Do you need to start things rolling with a visit to the GP and a chat or is there a more direct route?


 
Posted : 22/12/2010 8:47 pm
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Its not the pain that does me , its the thought of it all i seem to be quite squeamish nowadays, which seems daft as i have a number of tatoos on my arms and chest. Although an injection into your plums must smart a bit??


 
Posted : 22/12/2010 8:49 pm
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How does one proceed? Do you need to start things rolling with a visit to the GP and a chat or is there a more direct route?

A lot depends on where you live. The NHS waiting time where I am is very long so I went private. Start with your GP though as they will be able to give you an indication of waiting times and what local clinics there are.


 
Posted : 22/12/2010 8:53 pm
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Thanks avdave2. Would it be rude to ask what sort of plum pummelling pricetag I should be expecting for the private option?


 
Posted : 22/12/2010 8:58 pm
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I had the knife about five years ago now.

What I still remember was that the local was no worse than one from the dentist. The small incision was totally painless, could just hear the scratching noise.

Now, what I did feel was the strangest sensation ever. Clearly the Surgeon needed a little slack in the tube prior to literally snipping with the scissors. As he pulled to get something to work with there was no pain, just the most unpleasant sensation that reached up from the area to the pit of my stomach.

Sadly the other side had just the same sensation. I walked out quite happily and then whilst waiting for the wife outside started thinking about it. Nearly fainted.

##edit## it still gives makes me shudder now thinking about it


 
Posted : 22/12/2010 9:08 pm
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Do you need to start things rolling with a visit to the GP and a chat or is there a more direct route?

You can discuss with the GP and then go on the list for free but that can take a while, or book in privately and get done at a time to suit you for about £400-500. Google 'Marie Stopes' as one example.

I discussed long and hard with the wife whether 'we' would prefer to save the £500 and get butchered by an enthusiastic amateur in the back room of the surgery after morning rounds, or stump up and be done in comfort by an expert. Needless to say, I was soon at the GP asking to go on the list. After some probing questions she agreed I was a suitable candidate and then dropped the bombshell. They'd decided to contract out their list and instead when I'd worked to the top I'd get a call from someone at Marie Stopes to book myself in and avail myself of their facilities. It was about a 6mo wait but then I got the full private treatment, tea, biscuits and all. Although as I've said a few times before, once you're laying naked from the waist down on a table with your nuts pulled through a small hole in a sheet and painted brown, I couldn't give a flying **** if they we're offering tea, biscuits, cake, or champagne with canapes; I wanted it done, fast, and be out of there without making further eye contact.


 
Posted : 22/12/2010 9:09 pm
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The possibility of having another kid seemed like less hassle than trailing over to the hospital with a bottle of ejaculate.

Is your local hospital across a crocodile infested swamp, or was your motivation for having it done a little bit lacking?


 
Posted : 22/12/2010 9:39 pm
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watch it? no chance, I spent the entire 20 mins reading the sign above my head and you know what? I have no idea to this day what it said!


 
Posted : 22/12/2010 9:46 pm
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Out of interest - how long before you're back on the bike? Sadly enough that's the only thing putting me off! :mrgreen:


 
Posted : 04/01/2011 7:00 pm
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2 - 3 weeks typically.

Although there will be heroes along who will tell you they rode home from their ops.


 
Posted : 04/01/2011 7:18 pm
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Cheers, guess that's my only excuse (off for the whole summer) out of the window.


 
Posted : 04/01/2011 9:08 pm
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No hero here for sure, but op on Dec 22nd, few days easy time, fell walk on Boxing Day, two hour mountain bike rides (a bit gingerly at first) on 27th and 28th. I believe I've been lucky.


 
Posted : 04/01/2011 9:22 pm
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Luked 2, Err, not that it's exactly a nice thought but you do know each spherical object can have up to three tubes to deliver the little swimming fellows ?

I was tested afterwards and i am still loaded for bear !!!

Not looking forwards to going back for the doc to have a right good rummage about for the missed ones. Ouch.


 
Posted : 04/01/2011 9:59 pm

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