[Closed] Sacrifices for that dream home

One persons idyll is another's nightmare.

Same with priorities for what each person defines as happiness. As for where they are in life, age of kids, satisfaction at work.

FWIW at the moment, oil for central heating is dirt cheap. Doesn't sound as though you'll be too isolated if it's next door to a pub, so popping round for a bowl of sugar in your dressing gown and slippers still sounds like it'll be a goer.

What is your intuition telling you?

How important is affordability to you? Likewise logistics for school runs? Do you require approval from others?

Only you can answer those. My priorities matter not to your life decisions.

Just curious, cheers. Always keen to hear how people have got on after making moves that they were nervous about.

Lots of dream houses in the countryside near us, but it's the isolation for the two kids and the need to rely on the car for everything that would stop me.

Have a nice house in a nice village with excellent facilities on tap, midway between Nottingham and Derby for work and bigger facilities. 20-40 commute for both of us, half an hour walk to secondary school for Jnr.

"Nice" will do us for now.

My wife and i have been talking about moving and building our own but have yet to find somewhere.

We like being close to civilisation which has limited us. Short commute, public transport and walking distance to shops means we only need one car and even in the worst winter are not stuck.

Our current house is fantastic. All it needs is off street parking, to be a detached with a littke more privacy, a slightly bigger garden. Id like it to be a little lighter also.

I wouldn't compromise on commute. I do it twice a day. No point having a nice house if you spend 2+ hours a day commuting on top of 9-6 working.

Is it a dream home if you have to make large compromises?

Yep doesn't sound like a dream if you are compromising that much.
Oil heating is very unpredictable cost wise and can be very expensive.
I've had a house similar to the description, the rural thing can an issue for the days that you run out of milk or stuff like that.

I wouldn't underestimate the implications of an isolated location if you've got kids.
You don't say how old they are but our experience is once they left the village school where we live & went to the secondary in a nearby town their friendship circle was much more geographically spread. Our village has very poor public transport links meaning we're constantly taking them places - it's a sacrifice you expect to a degree when they get to that age but it can be a major inconvenience if they literally can't get anywhere alone.

We went through a similar dilemma three years ago. We moved from a small end-of-terrace in a village (pub, lots of friends but no shop) to a semi detached ex-farm workers cottage in a rather isolated spot. We have about a dozen other houses along the same lane within a ten minute walk. The nearest shop is about 20 minutes walk, and 25 minutes across the fields to the pub. Schools would be about 15 minutes in the car, and we both commute about 35 minutes each way. We are about 10 minutes in the car from three supermarkets, and a similar distance from a major railway station and town centre.

What we lose in convenience we gain in lifestyle. The house is only a 3 bed semi but with masses of potential to extend, which we are planning. We have just shy of an acre. We can see five other houses from our house, and are surrounded by fields and woodland. It is absolutely silent, with only distant road noise when the roads are wet, and we have miles of footpaths for walking the dogs. We absolutely love it, and wouldn't change current circumstances for the world.

Some people baulk at the idea of living in an isolated spot, and having to rely on the car for shopping. However, I'd like to venture that most folk will drive to the supermarket wherever they live.

I would like a pub and shop a touch closer, but with our limited budget and living in Hampshire we had to compromise somewhere. My advise is - if you think you can live with the compromises (and there will be some) then go for it...

Sacrificed easy access by rail to the nearest city to get a bigger place in a nice area with great schools.

If I end up getting a job there in future it'll just mean a nice long bike commute.

A 1-hour commute each way every working day would put me off

I personally would never sacrifice our personal wealth for the "big flash house". Hence the reason we live in a good sized, with big garden, 3 bed semi. Slowly getting the house sorted (been here 12 years 😯 ) but that's builders for you.
Full rewire, ensuite to our room, Windows and insulated board replaster this year.
We could go and spend 250k on a house but the mortgage would have to go up and be long term.

5.5 extra complete days of driving per year out of your life? No thanks.

It's a 10 hour round trip when I go to the office. That kind of thing?

The location, access and things for the kids to do (and schools) are a big part of the house fulfilling 'dream' status, along with amount of garden, rather than the building itself alone for me.

The place in the OP doesn't sound like a dream home

The one hour commute thing is odd. I never had a commute that short when I was commuting. It's hard to imagine somewhere you work could be less than an hour from somewhere you'd be prepared to live.

You have a very limited imagination.

t's hard to imagine somewhere you work could be that close to somewhere you'd be prepared to live.

Really? I have a 12min bike ride to work.

Live in central Cambridge, work is on the edge of the City, ride along the river to work every morning...

Personally I'd not call anywhere with an hour commute a dream home, as the commute would ruin it for me.

There you go. I'd rather hammer nails into my knees than live in central Cambridge.

I did commute from Tetbury to Cambridge for the best part of year funnily enough...

A great house with big gardens is my idea of heaven.

And lets be honest unless you live in a town, you need to drive kids everywhere anyway, or use public transport which can be just as annoying and inconvenient.

And kids don't need a leisure centre, bowling alley, cinema etc. A rural location can be a great playground. And kids don't flippin' visit each other and 'play' nowadays - they just message and facetime!

does it has a usable Broadband speed? with kids that would be the make or break in our house.

Don't go too hard on Cambridge. if you like the city life, then living in is not a bad thing. Cambridge is not _that_ bad a place to live.

Personally, I couldn't do it. I was born in rural Suffolk, grew up there and like seeing fields. My current choice of Papworth means I get fields less than five minutes walk away for the dogs and yet I am still close enough to work (Science Park) that I only have to waste 45 minutes in my car getting there on the days that I go to work.

Rural isolation can be nice (my mum has a farm), but it takes an age to get anywhere , broadband is typically rubbish and when stuff goes wrong, it's expensive. My mother has, for example, no mains water or sewerage and no mains gas. Electricity can be flaky and, as said before, broadband is dire.

On the other hand, she has a nice farm house and a garage that I would just about kill for. I just wish the ceilings were not so low!

I could pick any number of places within 15 mins of my office that would be perfect to live.

The one hour commute thing is odd. I never had a commute that short when I was commuting.

if you like the city life

As for running kids around, you'll find there's less to run them to. They do different stuff to urban kids.

As for running kids around, you'll find there's less to run them to. They do different stuff to urban kids

Yeah, I hated it when I was a teen. Great as a child.

I'm not sure it makes so much odds in the broadband age (assuming it's not that rural). Teens don't actually leave the house anymore do they?

As for running kids around, you'll find there's less to run them to. They do different stuff to urban kids.

From an adult perspective, I lived, as a younger man, about 40 miles from work and around a 45-60 min drive. Colleagues thought I was crazy until it was pointed out that they were probably spending just as long, albeit fewer miles, on the commute from their suburban box to the office as me, but they didn't have the relaxing rural lifestyle. I wouldn't put little sasquatchette through the same as me. I'm happy to live in an area where she's close enough to friends to have a good healthy social life.

I have the dream home in the country - lived here 20 years all my kids grew up here and I would not have done it any other way we are lucky with a village pub and shops within a couple of miles - but times change and the last kid is off to uni in the summer so we are selling up and looking to move into a local market town - atrouble is your requirements change as you get older - anyway if any one wants a small estate in north yorkshire here you go bridleway from the door http://www.robinjessop.co.uk/property/gatherley-house-moulton/

I wouldn't put little sasquatchette through the same as me. I'm happy to live in an area where she's close enough to friends to have a good healthy social life.

Same here. Lived away from pals down country lane when little. Had to wait until I was allowed to ride my bike up to the village.

Don't want my kids to be in same situation and I like being able to walk up to town myself anyway.

9 mins on foot to Madame's place of work. Junior on foot to excellent schools from 2.5 to 18. A short walk to the station which is also the regional bus hub. Town centre 2km. Pleasant residential area with local shop/services including a 50m outdoor swimming pool that is open year round. Bus stop less than 100m away. 90 up 50 down fibre. An extensive network of MTB trails starts 1km away.

Location is close to perfection, the house itself is small and the garden a bit bigger than I'd like. It was also cold, damp and in need of repair when bought. Small is beautiful because local taxes are per m2 and are astronomic. Small and now well insulated means tiny energy bills, about a sixth of what the solar panels bring in. Solar thermal too helps.

For the same cash we could have bought something flash with a swimming pool in the local hills. Life would have been a lot more complicated and I doubt we'd have been as active, especially junior who can get to band practice/the pool/athletics/skate spots/basketball/the disco/the cinema/music venues/most of his mates homes on his own.

The gable end of our house is visible in this pic:[img] &width=1000&height=750[/img]

I think the reality is unless you have an unlimited budget then there will always be compromise.

Mine is my commute. 45-55 minutes across to the other side of Dartmoor, but living on Dartmoor needs a shit load of cash and I don't want to live in the town I work (even more expensive).

I don't want to live in the sticks having grown up there, my wife does having grown up in the town. We've settled on a spot on the outskirts of town with good views and space but close enough to walk in. However it's tiny so currently trying to raise the funds for an extension. It still won't be as big as what we could buy if we moved west to Cornwall but then I'd be commuting for 90mins each way.

In your profession Dan, I'm sure you'll be able to get a start supply of logs, that'll limit your oil use if ye open up a fire or put in a burner. Is there woodland nearby, of cultivated fields? The former will be great for the boy to play, the latter not so good.

Boys are easier to keep amused in a rural location, girls not so. My sis had to move into town as she has 3 girls, all hitting the age they are scunnered for 8 weeks in the summer hols as they lived too rural (moved to Melrose, lots less whining now!) from their friends.

The locality to a great pub helps, but pretty much every pub I know has peaks and troughs of being great, especially with regards to food, although that shouldn't be as much of an issue now as pubs that don't sell decent food in rural locations will really struggle to survive now with the drink drive culture the way it now thankfully is.

Wherever you live is a compromise, sounds like the biggest one for you guys will be your commute, as long as you're okay with that, it all sounds good mate.

That's the thing. I'd spend 3 hours in a car to avoid it, so a commute is anything but a sacrifice. Living in a town would drive me mad.

We all make our own choices, but to me, 3 hours a day is a lot of your life wasted in a car!

3 hours? **** that.

I love living in a bustling town, could probably count half a dozen pubs and eateries within 200 metres, Indy shops etc too, and 5 minutes riding to get to the trails. Some folks down south seem to have the worst of both worlds, huge commute to work, huge commute to hills.

3 hours a day is a lot of your life wasted in a car!

Dream house has to be within a bike commute of work for me. In fact, any house has to be. I just wouldn't put up with a job/house combination that meant I couldn't do that.

So, as far as I can tell:

Living in town is busy and shit
Living in town means a small house, which is shit
Living in town means a small house, which is cheap and brilliant
Living in the country is isolated and shit
Living in the country is isolated and brilliant
Commuting >2 mins is shit
Commuting means you don't have to live in town, which is brilliant because town is shit and also stupid because town is brilliant. And shit.

But above all, EVERYONE ELSE is doing it wrong.

Plus ça change...

I grew up in the sticks and loved spending my days riding bikes and making tree houses. I used to have mates coming to sleepover most weekends. I currently live in London and can't wait until I'm in a position to move somewhere rural.

Being reliant on the car isn't a big deal as the only traffic is horses or tractors, but worth considering things like how kids will be getting around. If I missed the school bus it would mean my mum would end up being an hour late to work.

Now my parents are nearing retirement they are looking to move - running costs of an old house huge and Dad wants to be in walking distance of a pub.

If that's your house oldmanmtb, you win the thread!
Must be gutting to leave it.

That is indeed a stunning house. Beautifully done out too.

My commute:

[IMG] [/IMG]

My advice is to think very carefully. I moved from the city to a small village about 15 years ago (albeit nowhere near as grand as the property in your link).

My experience has been it is a lot quieter, less crime and hassle, school is small and performs well as a result, there is a real sense of community and there is a real feeling of having a bolt hole away from it all.

However, it can be very isolating in winter and bad weather. We have had to buy a 4X4 to ensure we can get in and out in bad weather. The community can be a bit suffocating in that everyone has a nose in everyone else's business and it can be a bit exclusionary as you don't have a pedigree in the area and you aren't related to half the population like everyone else.

In addition, we have had the expense of having to keep two newish and reliable cars as public transport is virtually non - existent.

As the kids have got older the weekend is spent ferrying them to larger population centres for sports and social activities as there are no facilities locally.

An unforeseen consequence for me has been the effect on my health. No work locally and 15 years of commuting over 40,000 miles a year on poor roads has destroyed my low back.

I can see why you are tempted by the property though. Absolutely gorgeous but think about the downsides and plan for them. Don't get carried away on a tidal wave of cupidity!

How much more would the dream house cost if it was 15 minutes commute from work.

Is the difference worth the commute?

Last we looked at moving in the UK anything halfway reasonable would have cost us about half a million quid. And still needed 150 grand spending on it.

(My numbers here are about £750000 for the house we want with an easy 15 minute cycle commute. Or £200 grand for a straight forward, but 40 minutes, by car.
550 thousand quid on the mortgage pays for a shit load of commuting.)

And I'm only 10 minutes walk/15 minutes hobble from the beach. And once i get fixed, got trails starting pretty much in the garden.

If you're going to spend 2-3hrs per day commuting then you need to ask yourself how much time you're actually going to spend 'living' in your dream house

8hrs at work + 2hrs commute + 1hr eating + 8hr sleeping leaves you 4-5 hrs per day to recover from your commute do all your daily jobs and then 'live' even less if you the. Spend half of that time driving your kids around too.

Sure you get weekends but don't you go out and do things at the weekend?

That's the killer for me, commute times, I've done a job with an hour or so commute in the car every day and it tired me out, wound me up, cost too much and caused too much travel angst for my liking, never again!

Circumstances will obviously be different depending on location, I'm lucky enough to live in a small city, 20mins walk from the town centre (5min by bike), work is 10mins ride away, and I'm only 10-15 miles from both Dartmoor and the sea, we compromised on the house to be in the city for weekday convenience, but even if we did move out of the city it wouldn't be bad.

Last we looked at moving in the UK anything halfway reasonable would have cost us about half a million quid. And still needed 150 grand spending on it.

[img] [/img]

Have you thought about a compromise? Upgrade a bit where you are and see if you could get a weekend bolt hole somewhere?

[quote="Grum"]funny jokeWell, when tiny, badly built 2 bed terraces in crowded estates with gardens too small for your cat to shit in are starting at 150 grand. Anything with a garden, space to live in and not on an estate/in the countryside is going to be expensive.

And we haven't got that sort of cash. And weren't looking to relocate. So we didn't move.

I guess if we had. Most of our neighbours would have had loads of money. Or massive, unsustainable mortgages.

Well, when tiny, badly built 2 bed terraces in crowded estates with gardens too small for your cat to shit in are starting at 150 grand. Anything with a garden, space to live in

You mean the kind of normal house that millions of people with families manage to successfully live in, some even with cats?

I'm sure you didn't mean it to but your post did come over a bit condescending and loadsamoneyesque

Yes. And I'm sure a good percentage of them would like to move. But can't.

1. Build own house on a slight hill.
2. Build own house that pays me to stay there i.e. high energy efficient.
3. Build on a plot of land that I can grow stuff myself to be "self-sufficient"
4. Build house that has cold storage to store food.
5. Build house that has a large shed for making things.
5. Build house not far from woodlands ...
6. Build far away from river but not very far from a small stream.
7. 1hr or 1.30hr drive to civilization is fine.
8. House with panic room? Hell yes!
[s]9. Alien sentry guns on four corners of the house ... ensure pig farm or zoo not further than 1hr away.[/s]
10. Own transport should not be a problem if I can afford all the above.

Cheers. It really is a dream home in as much as it's got fields and space around it, big garden, just a hugely fun looking area to allow the kid/s to play around in through life. It's down your neck of the woods too nobeer.

But, I hadn't actually thought about the transport issues when they grow a bit older (ps only 1 kid for now but I suspect a second will appear one day). Commute is likely to be [u]up to[/u] an hour each way so possibly not too bad.

A similar house closer to where we're used to would be around £100-120k more, which puts it well out of range. This one is affordable without a heavy financial strain (mortgage payable by either of us on our own), and being that I work 3 days a week and spend 3 days with the boy I like the appeal of having a space like this to spend time and run around chasing him!

I think we're going to wait and see if anything comes up for sale closer to Glasgow though. A cosier house with similar outdoors space should come under budget and be cyclable, or at least a shorter 30 min drive to town. My wife works in town daily, though my work takes me all around the central belt a bit and it's not so much an issue for me.

Great hearing people's thoughts and experiences, especially those who have moved to more rural areas and adapted to the changes.

PS This is a picture of the place, to give you an idea of how tempting it is!

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A similar house closer to where we're used to would be around £100-120k more, which puts it well out of range.

Have you factored in the cost of commuting? I reckon it's costs me ~£300 a month to get to work, that buys a fair chunk of mortgage.

Have you factored in the cost of commuting? I reckon it's costs me ~£300 a month to get to work, that buys a fair chunk of mortgage.

Plus not having to use a car is worth loads in saved time / stress.

Two folk commuting, factor in the school run and all.... Wouldn't be my choice. Unless of course the nanny takes care of that 🙂

Yes bob summers that's my house and it will be a wrench but I am sick of grass cutting/gardening and maintenance, one good thing is I never have to drive past it as it is down a private road. Whoever gets it will have a fantastic place to live

'Sacrifice'? You probably mean 'trade off'. I feel lucky to live with easy access to the Peaks, the Lakes, North Wales, some of the Dales, and also be <20 minutes' walk from a multi-screen cinema, and a short public transport ride from an active city centre. It's a pleasant place with a park nearby and a reasonably-sized currently affordable house. I enjoy my work every day. My SO enjoys her work. Nearby state schools are good and easy to walk to. The climate is...temperate.

The picture makes it look like a rural mini-palace. Nice!

Though having said that, rural places don't often feature 150mbps+ broadband or other stuff for children except for that 'nature' malarkey.

I grew up in a relatively rural location, nearest village was 10 mins drive/cycle and nearest town 20 mins drive. I loved it and wouldn't change it for the world, I don't have kids but if I did I would want them to experience the same.

You'll have to drive to the shops and plan ahead so you don't run out of stuff when you can't get it but it's not exactly difficult. My folks heated the main living areas in the house with a coal/wood stove (what stw types would call a log burner I guess), rest of house underfloor electric, life is possible without gas. Most people have oil or electric and get on fine.

It was 30 mins or something to school on the school bus, I'd ride to the stop or get dropped by my old man on his way to work.

We lived on a quiet road and almost all spare time was spent outdoors in the garden, playing in the fields, woods or riding bmxs up and down the road. I had a friend 4 fields away or parents would drive us to friends houses to play and vice versa etc. From the age of 13 all my free time was spent mountain biking in the woods, building jumps, skidding in the farmers crops and getting chased by him etc. My sister and her female friends seemed to have a great time too.

There is (arguably better) life without fast internet, local shops, streetlights, gas, go for it!

Is the inn in question the Blair Dan?

Edit - or the Sorn inn? Looks like a couple of houses locally tbh.

Yep it's the Blair. Some great pictures of life in the fields being painted here, love it!

Thought I recognised it mate. That's a busy road, think you've made the right choice.

I know that road fairly well Dan, it's pretty busy and I wouldn't want my bedroom that close to it.

wouldn't buy on main road. Must be easy commute. 2 hours a day plus the cost? No thanks like 10 hours a week wasted life. I had three children. Id would have been worried that they would wander out on to that road and they need transport and friends. Wife needs own car for school run nursery etc

I moved after I retired early. It made sense to be close to work to cut commute to minimum. I cycled. Make life as easy as possible while I was working.

That main road would be a deal breaker. No way, not in a million years. If you want to move to the country, move to the country and enjoy the peace and quiet, not the constant rumble of traffic. That place has the worst of both worlds and none of the advantages.

As Crowded House sang....

I'd much rather have a caravan in the hills
Than a mansion in the slums
The taste of success only lasts you
Half an hour or less but it loves you when it comes
And you laugh at yourself
While you're bleedin' to death

Or as Phil and Kirstie say.... "location, location, location".

Only you can decide what "location" means - Near to a tube station? Near to the sea? Near to your family?

How main is the main road?
Half an hour or so morning and evening Monday to Friday? Or busy all the time.

One i could possibly live with, the other. No chance.

I'm a 15 minute bike ride from work, otters live in the river at the bottom of the garden, we have 1/3 of an acre garden, a 10km run from the front door sees me out into field and woods, 2 hours on the train to London, 90 minute drive to the Lakes, 90 minute bike ride to Swaledale, decent schools, not on a main road, but it's a bus route so gritted in the winter, parents and in-laws close enough to babysit. £500 a month mortgage.

Actually, I'd not really call it a 'main' road, thinking about it, it's one of 2 roads between a provincial town of 40000 folk and Glasgow. The issue would be speed, that's a stretch that folk will do 70 on, no question. My mates bro was killed just up the road last year.

I do think that transport for the kid(s) is a huge factor and I say that with a daughter who turns 6 on Tuesday.
We moved to the US and Mrs TT wanted a house 'where we couldn't see the neighbours from the kitchen window'. I pointed out how far we were driving to shuttle her to activities and what that would look like if we went rural, every year, until she could drive.
We didn't buy rural.
With kids, you value your time more. Spending that time commuting is utterly dead time when you add it all up. I've never met a dad who says he spent too much time with his kids growing up.

throwing life for a 'house' no thanks

I grew up in the country on a farm in Cornwall, lived on it for years. People look at living in the countryside through rose tinted glasses. Certainly an issue when you leave school looking for a job. Countryside virtual zero employment without wheels.

Nearest place for children gym swimming, school, after school activity, day care, two cars, on a road, 2 hours commute a day, nearest shop, dental, doctor? Need I go on.

House, something people seem to pump money into their whole life. Then hang on to the four or three bedroom house in case the kids visit.

Don't get me wrong I live within 1 km of the nearest wood and start of my trails. But I can jog to my gym in 15 mins, shop on the way back. Train station 20 min walk. 9 miles to motor way, 22 mile major city.

I was commuting an hour each way to work, and are moving further away, so with my diesel money we bought a cheap terraced house 5 mins from my work and I live there when I'm on shift (4 months per year total)

The new main house is a nice rural ruin thats being renovated, and it works very nicely atm. As you may guess though, we have no kids!

That road isn't the best place in the world to be getting a house on, tbh you will find plenty more houses in the area that tick all the boxes but without the road on your doorstep. Stewarton and Kilmaurs would be my bet, right next to the 77 (M or A with the cycle track) and both have train stations for later on when your spawn want a night out in Glasgow. 736 just runs between two shite places, the faff of getting onto the 737 or through Paisley/Barrhead would be a deal breaker for me.

Just remember though, when it snows around there it really dumps, took a work colleague 3 hours to get home to Barrmill from West Kilbride last time we had a surprise flurry.

🙂 As expected we're having all sorts of thoughts. At present we live where we live. My commute is typically 15-45mins anyway and my wife's is 45-50 mins by bike or 30 by car, so 1hr isn't much different.

Tonight's main focal point is schools! It's so hard to find real world feedback instead of tables of numbers.

Viewing a house tomorrow that's under an hr commute and comes with views of open fields and includes a paddock (i.e. pump track).

My wife and I both grew up in the countryside and I always thought I'd want in adulthood what I had in my childhood. To my surprise, we're still city-dwellers and have settled in a very central (but near greenery) corner of Bristol.

At the moment, we both cycle to work: 20 minutes each way for my wife and 35 minutes for me. Our kids are a 5-10 minute walk to their respective school and nursery - they've both gone to forest school in the local woods and still spend a fair bit of time there. It's a 10 minutes ride to the local man-made MTB trails and about the same to the centre of town and a mainline rail station.

We've looked at what it would mean to move to the "countryside" many times. For us, it would mainly mean 10+ hours of commuting; even more time spent at least one wheeled a metal box; consequently less time with the kids; and - perversely - less time in the open air than where we live now.

Good luck to all those who can make it work - but for this country kid, I can't see how it would work for my family right now!

I wouldn't stress too much about schools. How well your kids do at school has got a lot more to do with you than the school. Our kids go to schools in Midlothian which wouldn't be a lot of peoples first choice but they are both doing really well. My partner works at a school in a fairly well to do area and the kids there in general aren't doing any "better". They do have better bikes though.

Partially agree on schools, also think its a bit more complex depending on your circumstances.

For example, if I wasn't working or doing a 'career' job then I would definitely be looking to live out of town, that's when you have the time to use it. Ferrying child(ren) around would be the biggest limiter. If I was working working I would value simple access, things to do and locality to other kids/amenities above most things. Saying that we live SW Edinburgh and get a decent balance - 15mins on bike to work, 5 mins to the hills, offroad running from the bottom of the road but lots to do.

[i]PS This is a picture of the place, to give you an idea of how tempting it is![/i]

I always think that the worse house has got to be one in the country, next to a main/busy road.

Isolated, as in you have to drive everywhere, but busy, as everyone drives past you.

With youngsters too I'd worry about a fast road, and you can see the current folk try to ignore it as there isn't a front door.

Having exactly the same discussion with my other half. We both love the idea of a big garden and roomy house, but not the additional commuting time and maintenance.

We have just put in an offer on a house that is in a s.all town; close to a station (required for commuting), means we can continue to have one car only, is close to a high street and not too far from woods/trails. It might not happen, but in our heads we have made the compromise already, as in particular our commute is long enough already.

If location and circumstances were different, would love to be in the countryside, but as I grew up in rural Devon I know it has both proa and cons for kids.

I don't live in my dream house (The Missus seems close, but to me it's just 4 walls and a roof on the edge of the suburban sprawl), but I can comment on the commute.

I live 5-10min drive from work, 15min on the bike, or a 35min walk if the weather is nice, none are exactly nice though.

Draw a straight line between my work and the better trails and it's about a 40min drive and I used to live about halfway, which was OK.

So my weekly driving has gone from:

10x20min commutes and 4x20min drive to/from trails = 4h40min per week.

To:
1hour commuting to work, and never driving to the trails, because 1h20 in the car isn't worth it for a 90min night-ride.

So I've gained 2h30min per week, but I probably spend most of that in bed in the morning, and dithering round the house, washing up, etc, waiting for the missus to come home in the evening.

So in actual fact, I've lost 2h30min into the ether, and another 3h of riding. I don't get that back in any kind of fun way, the house is just a little tidier, she does even less of the cooking and I probably have a few more ****s.

I'd rather have a 40min commute and trails on my doorstep.

As for kids and the countryside, I grew up in the middle of nowhere. I don't think I missed out on anything.