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Why do some people, find it so big ,clever and damm right annoying to go to the farest end of the supermarket, and then reverse shop against the flow,suerely there are rules against that sort of behaviour.
Males we are hunter gatherers by name and action, we dont need to stand oggling the ingredients list in a bottle of Aztec yaks milk shampoo,or other girleie stuff,
we need to read every man orientated magazine before going hunting,for food,
Trolley racing pensioners to the checkout should be made compulsory,
Cars crushed for parking in the disabled spaces,
Getting points for every time the security guards who think theyve been trained by the SAS, looks at you, double points if he follows you down an isle,
Real men dont buy conditioner, tofu,humus, yogurt, or vegetarian foods,
german cars should be allowed to only park as far away from the entrance as possible, not directly in fromnt of the doors, with engine running, radio on loud etc,
Any other supermarket laws we could enforce.................
Real men dont buy conditioner, tofu,humus, yogurt, or vegetarian foods,
Tuts effeminately in your general direction
PS surely a real man lets the woman do this sort of stuff
People who are more than able to pack their own shopping.......saying Yes when asked if they need help packing.
Not putting out the next customer thingy when they've finished unloading.
One way system should be adopted a la Ikea.
Old People should only be allowed to shop during restricted hours....
Buy shallots, pay for onions.
Rorschach - MemberPeople who are more than able to pack their own shopping.......saying Yes when asked if they need help packing.
I can pack, but maybe i'd like a hand?
What I can't stand is people who get the checkout operator to do it all while they talk/play on their phone etc.
A simple hello to the cashier doesn't hurt either
People who choose to do the supermarket shop as a "unit" of mum, dad and 2 chronically bored kids getting in everyone else's flipping way. One of you take the poor sods to the park ffs!
and then reverse shop against the flow,
I think it was Rob Manuel's advice for leery men - if you like looking at bums go with the flow, if you like looking at boobs shop against the flow and if you're a woman you might prefer to do your shopping online
People at the checkout, who ring home and ask if we need more paxo, or some other once a year item, then send the fat sprog to go hunt for it, usually the one who fails to know what theyre actually looking for and comes back with crisps.
I can pack, but maybe [s]i'd like a hand[/s] I'm just too idle and I don't care that it now takes twice as long to put my shopping through because well I'm not in a hurry and so now everybody else can wait longer aswell?
ftfy.
People who just stop when you are following them and nearly rear end them.
People who leave the trolley across the aisle and occupy the remainder of the aisle with a fat ass.
People who just stop when you are following them and nearly rear end them.
What are you meant to do if you find stuff that you need and need to stop, do a hand signal a few metres before and then slowly come to a halt?
What is the emergency stopping distance for a fully loaded shopping trolley in good supermarket conditions?
What are you meant to do if you find stuff that you need and need to stop, do a hand signal a few metres before and then slowly come to a halt?
No, left side or ride side slow moving is for browsing. Central at speed is for getting around. The two just don't mix.
If I was driving and saw something I needed I wouldn't slam the anchors on. Bad form.
People who follow too close behind and are not watching where they are going, and when you stop to get something off the shelf they slam into your heels with their trolley.
🙂
People who just stop when you are following them and nearly rear end them.
I use that trick as an icebreaker.
I quite like shopping in reverse - I generally find it easier - especially if I am shopping for 1 meal, I won't know what veg I want till I've picked my meat etc... and Supermarkets are smart so they have probably organised their shop to maximise sales, which means by breaking the system I avoid that.Why do some people, find it so big ,clever and damm right annoying to go to the farest end of the supermarket, and then reverse shop against the flow,suerely there are rules against that sort of behaviour.
What is the emergency stopping distance for a fully loaded shopping trolley in good supermarket conditions?
Quite honestly, IQ dependant.
I shop in my local Tesco supermarket using my messenger bag, i don't use a basket as i may inadvertently over fill it and thus have to make my way home swinging a bag round my front wheel - to the security guard or the store manager shopping whilst filling your messenger bag is akin to waving a red rag in front of a bull whilst shouting "your mother's arse was on my plate last night", i know it is utterly childish but i find it amusing as it seems to annoy them to such an extent that they follow me round the store and i've taken to dawdling really slowly up one aisle and sprinting like **** to the end and back round again to creep up behind them smiling inanely.
Utterly childish behaviour for a man of 40 yrs old i know but i **** hate shopping at tesco's, it's the only store that's open late and when i can i prefer to shop at M&S as they don't care if i use my messenger bag - the security guard at the door of M&S even said "very sensible mate" to me. Must be a tesco scum thing to not trust your shoppers.
Yup I shop in reverse as well, fruit & veg is near the entrance and I dont like bunging loads of heavy items on top of the F & V so start at the Wine and work my way back, so that the Fruit & Veg goes into the bags last.
I use the hand scanner self shopping (NOT accursed Self checkout) and can do my weekly shop in under half an hour 8)
People who follow too close behind and are not watching where they are going, and when you stop to get something off the shelf they slam into your heels with their trolley.
This is the point. Awareness of yourself and those around you in both situations. Or lack thereof.
Kids that are more than big enough to walk in the bloody trolley!!! You idiots!!! I want to put my food in there and not where you're flaming kids dog crap ridden feet have been!!
i think a good rule would be that if you are so fat you cant get past a trolley in an isle forcing people to turn around, you shouldn't be allowed to buy food
Quite honestly, IQ dependant.
Oh, teh ironing! 🙂
Where are all these hellish supermarkets full of cretins?
Where are all these hellish supermarkets full of cretins?
I believe they are the ones that aren't Waitrose.
jonah tonto - Memberi think a good rule would be that if you are so fat you cant get past a trolley in an isle forcing people to turn around, you shouldn't be allowed to buy food
Here's another one:
If your so lacking in imagination that the only thing you can come up with is jokes about fat people, you shouldn't be allowed to post on the internet.
its not a joke
Oh, teh ironing!
Lacks depth and originality
1/10 must try harder.
Oh, the irony!
Hmm i dunno rusty spanner, there's a valid point in there somewhere, some of the criminally obese parents you see in the supermarket pushing two trolley loads of biscuits/crisps/ready meals/fizzy juice etc and their weeble like children wobbling around them should be held captive like animals in the fruit n' veg aisle till they drop 50% of their body mass, guaranteed they are on some form of disability as they have muscular or skeletal problems/back problems etc (or claim they do) that prevent them from seeking or doing any form of work or exercise whatsoever apart from the sweat inducing action of lifting their hands to their mouths to feed themselves yet again.
I've rear ended a few in Tesco.
People who decide to do half their weeks shopping in the fuel station leaving their car at the pump!!!! 👿
.......... should be.... should be, strung up from the canopy as a warning!
and, AND, they should ban the sale of tobacco products from all shops other than dedicated Tobacconists, why should I have to wait in a queue while some weed dependant saddo decides which brand they want from behind the big white door? It don't matter! They're all gonna kill you!!!
......... and breath!
I like not putting the 'next customer' thing on the conveyor behind my shopping, then waiting in line with my last item so I can feel the seething frustration of the cretin behind me that won't put his shopping on because he thinks I'm going to steal his potato waffles.
Chemical castration for people who move forwards when you're packing your purchases away meaning they're stood right next to the card reader.
Are you so mentally blinkered you couldn't see this issue coming? Even if I'm paying by cash I'll be stepping this way so I can reach the till lady.
Obviously it's not a major problem. They're playing dumb, so do I. If they step up to the machine, I just shoulder them out of the way when I move forwards to put my card in. 'oops, sorry didn't see you there. Do you want to get past?'
People who meet up in the Supermarket having not seen each other for ages, OMG I must get them all the time.
It's like "George, come here quick look its Vera & Ronnie have you met my Grandchildren, Great Grandchild, next door neighbour".....all this time completely blocking the aisle & not given two hoots about anyone else .com
Sorry getting worked up now.....
Oh yeah and checkout people who think getting your goods through is a time trial Wiggo would be proud of leaving you with a pile of shopping and the next person in the queue staring at you as if you are taking too long.
I often get followed round by Security as I've a mate that works on the podium thing as you go into Tesco who thinks its funny to walk round with me making me look like a wrong un
People who decide to do half their weeks shopping in the fuel station leaving their car at the pump!!!!
the margin on fuel is tiny. The fuel station is more interested in their money than yours, they're happy for you to wait 🙂
I like it when people don't put the "next customer" thing on the conveyor, I get it myself with a smile, and then when they aren't looking, I put a couple of items from their shopping that look the most "essential" onto the magazine rack.
They often mistake my grinning as cretinous seething. But I don't mind too much.
🙂
...and you are the reason why I put the bar there when Ive finished emptying my trolley!
FWIW, if you do the weekly shop on a tuesday round my way, against the flow is the most efficient. Otherwise you'll get stuck behind [i]them[/i] old folk
We coped for decades without those next customer things, now people have a breakdown if it's not there!
Shopping for others... abandond trolleys on the end of the isle whilst the owner finds stuff are a potential repository for extra random items....
..... which turns into unassisted shoppercide at the till....
I really can't believe no one has mentioned that the person in front of you at the tills seems utterly surprised that they have to pay for the stuff they have just bagged up, 10 minutes rummaging for a card to pay for it, then realising they have a voucher that will save them 2p, so the transaction gets cancelled & they start again only to find out the voucher is only valid to people over the age of 85 when accompanied by both parents on the first tuesday of a leap year.
Grrrr, & relax.
I once said to a bloke behind me in a loud voice (after his trolley went up my ankles twice) if he pushed effing hard enough he would get past. I now get it on the internet (best money I have ever spent)
Older folk who seem to work freelance, or at least think they're some sort of consultant for the day to day running of the supermarket.
This is purely based on the queing protocol that was not followed to the liking of the wizened old crone who shouted at a young woman who was part of a queue at the lottery counter that (shock horror) wasn't queuing in the direction it normally does, I believe the Mayans described this as "the first sign"
A wry smile appeared on my face the more this woman complained even when everyone moved to a more pleasing single file, young woman notices the look on my face and I get a slightly shy but flirty smile in return, so all in all a good day 😀
I shop in my local Tesco supermarket using my messenger bag, i don't use a basket as i may inadvertently over fill it and thus have to make my way home swinging a bag round my front wheel - to the security guard or the store manager shopping whilst filling your messenger bag is akin to waving a red rag in front of a bull whilst shouting "your mother's arse was on my plate last night", i know it is utterly childish but i find it amusing as it seems to annoy them to such an extent that they follow me round the store and i've taken to dawdling really slowly up one aisle and sprinting like **** to the end and back round again to creep up behind them smiling inanely.
Genius.
I have to say, I didn't even realise that supermarkets had a given flow to them.
My normal tactic is to run around randomly playing hide and seek with the girlfriend whilst looking at shiny things and picking up cake and biscuits.
If you see someone pushing a shitload of trolleys don't stop and stand in front of them in dumb amazement and ask if you can have one, as they have considerable momentum and no brakes. Also, don't assume cos someone works in the supermarket they know where your ****ing special sauce is. Also, if you are a bit miffed at the person banging stuff through a checkout too fast, consider the fact they have a target they are required to meet. In our store it is 20 items per minute, in aldi it is 30. If you are not inpressed, ask to speak to a manager. Checkout people love it when customers get arsey. HTH.
I got married so I don't have to do this shit.
i love it when they say "do you need help with packing " i say "no she will be right " and then look for ice cube bags while the wife packs ?
#real man
It's hilarious the comedy gold people think they say to checkout staff, when in reality it's about the 30th time you heard that crazy quip today. Ha ha very good, very original. You read the mail sir, very interesting, and your diet is apalling if I may say so. Some of the checkout bunch I work with are seasoned worldly pros and some are very intelligent young graduates, and many would slam dunk your general STW bod in a second in Real Life!
I take a route that starts with the heaviest items (booze) and ends with the lightest ones (croissants, bread etc) so that none of my stuff gets damaged.
Nothing worse than squashed plums, for example.
Tough shift Kevevs?
All supermarkets should be required to employ trolley mechanics. The things never go in a bloody straight line.
The shopper in front not being ready to pay is annoying as hell.
The person in front continuing the conversation with the check out staff once paid and keeping everyone waiting is also annoying.
Blocking aisles by leaving the trolley in the middle is annoying....move to the side.
Old people in general should be taken outside and shot.
As others have done, i amuse myself by putting items in other's shopping.
Last thing, I know what I'm going to buy when I go to the supermarket and I presume most other people do too?....therefore I go straight to what I want and use the overhead signs, the idea being to spend as little time there as possible....yet a huge number of people seem to collect a trolley at the entrance and slowly cruise up and down each aisle (both sides naturally) and look at every bloody product!....like its a nice day out or something?....don't they have homes to go to?....better things to do with their time?....they are the human equivalent of sheep.
Blocking aisles by leaving the trolley in the middle is annoying....move to the side.
Or more annoying - when women (and it is only women) go shopping with their friends, and they have a trolley each, bringing the entire supermarket to a standstill.
[url= http://yougottobekidding.wordpress.com/2010/02/11/more-wal-martians/ ]Wallmartians[/url]
If only our shops were this entertaining...
You can have fun though, my favourite trick is to casually collect the apparently abandoned trolley and move it into the next aisle. Double back quickly and you're treated to the several stages of the imbecile, first bemusement as they can't locate it, followed by increasing panic then utter bafflement when it appears in the previous aisle. Extra comedy points if the dost mare has left her handbag in the trolley!
The major rule is dont use tesco.
Checkout people who talk too much, i always seem to get the one telling me their lifes story.
Aldi know how to charm money out of you, 18" long drill set you'll never use sir only £5! Or you end up with "i went in for apples and ham, ended up with screwdriver set and welder. Genius!
[i]You can have fun though, my favourite trick is to casually collect the apparently abandoned trolley and move it into the next aisle[/i]
Do you leave your own trolley whilst you do this?
Why don't those superior being on here complaining about how inept everyone else is at going to the supermarket shop online? It's the modern way, if you were as intelligent and organised as you appear to be then that's what you shod be doing. Only idiots still go to physical stores to do their weekly shopping.
Where do you think all the zombie films come from?
Shoppers= zombies
Wallmartians
If only our shops were this entertaining...
I'm just loving the black bars they put across the eyes of the people with distinctive tattoos and hairstyles, so that you can't identify them.
Or more annoying - when women (and it is only women) go shopping with their friends
its not [i]only[/i] women
And this thread is why I do my shopping online!
I write a list, go in, get the things in order of my list, which isn't necessarily the order of the shop, get stuff, go to the tills and pay.
Edit: my wife does the big shop online. I'm more like a specialist milk/loo roll assault unit.
Trolleys aren't for pushing, they're for riding. Mon, people.
Back from Morrisons. Open from 7am on a saturday morning.
Stoner Jrs up from 5am. Far too early for the proles to clog the aisles. In, out, bishbashbosh. Fresh croissants for breakfast.
And Thornton choccies on special....
Back from Morrisons. Open from 7am on a saturday morning.
Surely it's worth waiting until 8am for Waitrose though?
Home shopping, so I don't have to mix with you plebs
Trolleys aren't for pushing, they're for riding
This is correct.
Absolute classics there, so funny and observant.
anyone else a lot of supermarkets make you go clockwise round them, going anti clockwise when in results in you hitting a wall.
£3.50 for the shopping to be delivered is the best £3.50 we spend every month!
i can't believe this has'nt been said already.. but self service checkouts, surely there should be a pre-requisite that you've got to be at least mildly intelligent before you are allowed to use one. i mean, if you have to spend 10 minutes looking for a barcode, seroiously, should you be on one..? and people who scan, pay then bag, are you really that stupid? and finally if you then don't know where the slot is for your credit card you should be banned for life.
oh, and people who when asked if they want their bags packed for them and say yes!
and also the idiots who stand watching the cashier scan there stuff and wait for the total before, this one always gets me, starting to rummage through their bags for their purse, then another rummage then to find cash or cards.
cornwall specific one... flippin tourists mooching around, dawdling, during peak 5pm shopping hour when all us locals want to do is grab tea and get home.
Real men dont buy conditioner, tofu,humus, yogurt, or vegetarian foods,
As a long haired vegetarian, that's me screwed.
Trolleys aren't for pushing, they're for riding
Caveat: the small trolleys have a different centre of gravity, as I once found to my cost in the carpark of Cardiff's Tesco Extra; built up speed across the carpark, jumped up holding the trolley handle and locked my arms out, and the front of the cart squirted out and up in the air, depositing me full length flat on my face to the cheers of about two dozen Welshmen. Graceful.
As a long haired vegetarian, that's me screwed.
As a long haired vegetarian being screwed must come as a bit of a novelty 😉
I think a lot of ****s on here have ****ing way to much time on their hands and **** themselves up over thinking shit. This is a pushbike forum. Away and ****ing ride yer bike and stop posting pish on here. Fuds.
Not wishing to upset you further but I think you'll find its a chat forum to talk about non bike related pish. Now who's the fud.
I think a lot of * on here have * way to much time on their hands and * themselves up over thinking shit. This is a pushbike forum. Away and * ride yer bike and stop posting pish on here. Fuds.
Whay aren't [b]you[/b] riding [b]your[/b] bike?
Oh!... A pushbike forum la de dah
Supermarkets have all walks of life using them.
Some patience needs to be exercised, unless the person using the self service tills has a trolley full of stuff.
These people need shooting.
Awesome. I'm away out on my bike now.
if you like looking at bums go with the flow, if you like looking at boobs shop against the flow
I really wish I hadn't read that before going to Sainsbury's.
Ya fuds.