[Closed] Return of the Apprentice

Pretty much the only reality show I watch, love human behaviour.

Looking forward to it but liked this;

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This year I might not watch it and then contribute heavily on each weeks Apprentice thread anyway to explain in an overbearing manner why I'm not watching it. Just to be cool like.

This year I might not watch it and then contribute heavily on each weeks Apprentice thread anyway to explain in an overbearing manner why I'm not watching it. Just to be cool like.

He's not even a real Hamster, the races aren't real.

Shit! Wrong show.

This year I might not watch it and then contribute heavily on each weeks Apprentice thread anyway to explain in an overbearing manner why I'm not watching it. Just to be cool like.

You could adopt this tactic for the next series of topgear.

Let the bullshit bingo commence.

Will do

Bring on the bullshit!

Is the audio out of synch for anyone else?

The trailer with one of them saying 'I'm not arrogant but..."

I cannot abide this stupid program. it makes me apoplectic with rage.

A cross between Ghandi and the Wolf of Wall Street ? 😆

Oh God, he's talking about himself in the third person...

Hmmm.... not much to look at this year 🙁

The women all look jolly happy, wondering how long before they become dead bitchy

There's no I in team but there's five in "individual brilliance".

🙄

There's no I in team, but there are five in 'individual brilliance'.

Right o.

Also if you say 'tit!' 5 times.

Also if you say 'tit!' 5 times.

In the mirror a pair of boobies appear?

Unfair having 11 blokes versus 9 women though.

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"I am an Alpha Male…" You drive a mini convertible mate, so you're far from it.

Would be better if they called it "Arsehole Parade". Much more reflective of the gonks that're on it.

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Car crash TV, just cringeworthy.

Unfair having 11 blokes versus 9 women though

I was thinking the same thing. The Adams appple is a dead give away.

Loving wwaswas pictures, especially 'I club baby seals to death with other baby seals'

😆

If I was standing there in a queue for coffee while they argued about who was project managing and who was making coffee...

I'd have made the bloody thing myself.

I can't watch it, it's just a bloody awful display of ass hattery, none of them would last 10 minutes in real business or industry..........

They're a ****ing scary looking bunch this year aren't they?

I can't watch it, it's just a bloody awful display of ass hattery, none of them would last 10 minutes in real business or industry......

Aren't most of them from a business and industry background?

Oh the girls have gone into bitch mode

Aren't most of them from a business and industry background?

Yes probably, of their own imagination, their employers probably let out a sigh of relief when they handed their notice in.

You can't make this stuff up:
http://www.radiotimes.com/news/2014-10-13/stuart-the-brand-baggs-on-how-to-save-the-apprentice

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Hahaha!

I can't watch it, it's just a bloody awful display of ass hattery, none of them would last 10 minutes in real business or industry......

Aren't most of them from a business and industry background?

These two statements often go hand in hand...

Does Stephen remind anyone else of

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I don't want to single out any one individual, but it was Stephen!

😆

Baldy beardy has to go

That Robert bloke - can imagine him sitting in his "edgy" Shoreditch drinking a skinny mochachino and wearing a cravat. With his hipster fixie propped against the fence.

Looking a right ****.

I love Pete Burns.

I suffered the misfortune of viewing the first 30 mins whilst round at my neighbours, bunch of self aggrandising ****ers who deserve to be put to real/actual work, preferebly something manual and actually worthwhile such as a builders labourer or a gopher for a machine/engineering shop. I'd estimate they'd last a couple of hours at most before they'd get a well deserved hiding.

He's not even a real Hamster, the races aren't real.

Loved it.

They all look very young, stupid and scared.
Apart from the tall blond one who looks like a lizard in a human suit.

That Canadian social worker missed a trick. Alan Sugar asking if his work in the arctic was counseling penguins, when by the time a kid leaves primary school they know there are no penguins in the arctic. I'd have pulled him up on that.

That Robert bloke - can imagine him sitting in his "edgy" Shoreditch drinking a skinny mochachino and wearing a cravat. With his hipster fixie propped against the fence.

Looking a right ****.

2006 wants it's stereotype back, it's shoppers, bubble tea and Nanamica these days.

Stupid programme where an arrogant tosser encourages other idiots to be as awful as he is

I suffered the misfortune of viewing the first 30 mins whilst round at my neighbours, bunch of self aggrandising **** who deserve to be put to real/actual work, preferebly something manual and actually worthwhile such as a builders labourer or a gopher for a machine/engineering shop. I'd estimate they'd last a couple of hours at most before they'd get a well deserved hiding.

And yet you're still happy to pop round their house and watch their telly! 😉

Nope, sorry 😀 I popped round their house on my way home from work as pete txted me earlier to ask if i would drop off a packet of skins and whilst i was there i had a cup o' tea and a natter.

Whooooosssshhhhhh....

Great programe,love the hissy fits, toys out of prams moments and the put downs.

These two statements often go hand in hand...

Maybe but when people say "they wouldn't last 5 mins in the real world" they seem to forget that they already are. There's a mix of people on there that's for the entertainment factor and those that genuinely want a £250k backing. I also can't help but think those that come out with that line work in the post room.

Watched it, but can't say I enjoyed it. Its not even £250k anymore, its £250k with Lord Smuger having a 50% stake, plus the dismal situation of having the grumpy old git as a mentor!

Also what about that bird with the stuck up nose, didn't she look like the Grinch?

This is the only reason that I'd watch the Apprentice.

She blows my head gasket and top end.

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Loved the bit where the guys were running to the printers then realised they'd forgotten the T-Shirts! Then they all ran back to get them - just send one of you!

I know it's edited well but it's still funny.

And what happened to the last winner - is she still in business?

And so the process begins of sacking anyone with any remotely human qualities.

This is the only reason that I'd watch the Apprentice.

She blows my head gasket and top end.

I'm not a violent person but.... every time I heard her voice I felt compelled to beat her to death with a lump hammer.

And so the process begins of sacking anyone with any remotely human qualities.

The one sacked last night possessed the great human quality of blaming everyone but himself.

In the real world, whenever I've f***ed up I've always found that the best thing to do is apologise, minimise the damage, and ensure that you learn from it and don't make the same F'up again.

I just wonder what the result would be if one of them adopted this policy in the 'board' room. I suspect everyone else would lose the power of speech and Sralan would implode at the lack of anything to get really angry about.

I'd also like someone to have a go at Nick about his crap jokes on countround.

Had to leave the room twice whilst that was on. Hideous. Are they forced t stick together in the two groups cos surely you'd just split the task in to pairs. Like why were five of the plonkers buing cheese slices? And what did the male team even do with the coffee? And how is selling more coffee than your team can make 'project managing the entire task?'. And why did they count sales and not profit?

O/T Every year, why do the inmates (especially the female ones) sound as though they're referring to our hero, the grumpy-bollock-in-a-suit as "Sarah Alan"?

USed to like it but I must admit the last few series have been routine, all the contestants are stereotypes.

Often feel like saying 'In your opinion' after one of Sugar/Brady/Hewer's comments

Stephen looks like he might be good value. Every year I do marvel at how stupid some of the candidates are, but it seems we have a bumper crop this year. Still, it gives Dara plenty of ammo.

I also can't help but think those that come out with that line work in the post room.

Oh, quite wrong actually, did you actually watch it ?

A task that involves going to buy something and they do the following happens

A. The PM doesn't give them any money
B. The team set off without any money

And you are telling me these people have a job that involves making decisions and thinking, I doubt it

the blond man/woman that was the PM of the girls team has to be a ringer....no way someone is like that in real life!!!

Exactly MrChrispy some are chosen for the entertainment factor, seems this is beyond some people's thoughts.

A task that involves going to buy something and they do the following happens

A. The PM doesn't give them any money
B. The team set off without any money

And you are telling me these people have a job that involves making decisions and thinking, I doubt it

The best bit is the one who went with no money is an accountant. You couldn't write a sitcom this unbelievable and get it aired, but get the egotistical public and it's comedy genius.

Why did they not just get the #London t-shirts straight down to the embankment and make a killing amongst the tourists.

Ready for more piss takingly bad nut jobs?

part 2 starting now, BBC1.

I have to admit to looking forward to seeing this when I get home. View it as nothing more than light entertainment and its fine!

If you've never seen this (and you have seen the Apprentice!) you should - never fails to make me smile. YMMV depending how grumpy you are!

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Shame it appears there is no lovely lass this to visually ease the bellendery from what the STW collective are saying. Yay or nay?

Agree, lack of [s]filth[/s] erm... filth this series

Oh my days...

"Can you rotate it?"

/turns laptop 90 degrees.

Class!

Well that's the lanky strip of pretentious piss gone.

Could be the selling machine that slated his own product.

Is it possible to watch without swearing?

Drac - Moderator
"Can you rotate it?"

/turns laptop 90 degrees.

Class!

Just be glad they didn't get the numpty to lie on his side instead

The Scottish geezer's going to deck someone 🙂

And that jumper is shocking. I recon my daughter could come up with something better than that.

**** me that Scott is a horrible person.

Not anymore.