[Closed] Relationships that never happened

When I was 17 my first proper girlfriend was a girl called Sarah. I was smitten with her but also really good friends with her wider 'girlfriend' group. In particular I got on quite well with her pal Amal and when Sarah dumped me we got quite flirty. University then got in the way and nothing came of it.

Anyway, I don't think Amal has got any real regrets about it.....

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As others have said, what a fabulous thread, also for making me not feel like I was the only utter twonk bloke when I was a student, completely unable to pick up on signals.

3 in particular stand out - the common element was that at the time I had absolutely no idea that something would have happened. All three were fabulous ladies in compeltely different ways, and my realisation of opportunity missed was always during a Burger King, back at uni, post holiday debreif with my flat mate. A telling of the strory and then that spectacular moment when I realised what had acutally happened.

Still makes me smile. 🙂

But, no regrets and all that. My path brought to Mrs BSN of 15 years!

I've had a few in my time, but all they've done is convinced me it's better to get knocked back then regret not going for it. Going on a lot of Tinder dates really helped my confidence tbh (if they don't want to meet within a week, unmatch!)

Met a girl last wednesday, went really well. Arranged another date for friday, pounced in the early hours back at hers 'waiting for the first train' she spent the weekend with me and I've seen her another couple of times, waiting for a text to let me know when she's coming over today 😀

Met a girl last wednesday, went really well. Arranged another date for friday, pounced in the early hours back at hers 'waiting for the first train' she spent the weekend with me

Lesley M. was a missed opportunity. I'd been at high school with her and had a massive crush. I moved schools and that was that. Bumped into her several years later at the Wigan Pier Alternative Night She hovered around the wider social group for a few months and then drifted away again. A few months later a mate happened to ask why I'd never responded to the hot blonde girl. Apparently everyone else had seen the signals apart from me... 🙁

Still, no regrets. Happily married for 23 years but occasionally wonder "What if..."

I've always wondered if the urban myth that some older women - that is, older than university party type drunken shag scenarios - do like that "I'd really fancy a one off no-commitment shag on the sofa" type scenario.

I'm led to believe this happens, and some of my professional colleagues experience this regularly and are happy to oblige. Now, its probably just me, but I've never experienced these kinds of signals, ever.

Is it true?

Only when I fancy them. Most of my friends are female and I can talk to them about anything and everything (think mumsnet-style topics ) but the second either of my brains go 'Ooh, she's lovely!' I go to pieces. Not in the adorable way eithe

perchypanther - Member - Block User
"Met a girl last wednesday, went really well. Arranged another date for friday, pounced in the early hours back at hers 'waiting for the first train' she spent the weekend with me"

.....and then we chilled on Sunday.

Well played! KES YER BASTID!

But actually she was working sunday 🙁

a few spring to mind:
Saima - at sixth form, she joined from another school so i didnt know anything about her. we used to hang out in a group and i knew she liked me...in fact i knew she fancied me and wanted me to ask her....the reason i dint was because although i liked her, one of my mates fancied the pants off her...she knew he liked her but she wanted me more. i liked her but not as much as Antonella and she knew this too

Antonella - the other girl at sixth form, she was in a couple of classes together and we got on really well, she kind of knew i liked her and i could tell she liked me but we used to hang out with different groups. in my leavers book she referred to me as a sexy beast and to me that was the green light to ask her so i plucked up the courage at the leavers party and she said no. i later found out that one of my friends who i'd recently fallen out with over something else had spread a rumour that all i wanted to do was nail her and she'd heard about it...i haven't seen her since...i'm still in touch with most of her mates but even though they know about what happened it never comes up in conversation

Maria - at uni i was a first year and she was a final year but we had the same friends. she was a united fan and me being a liverpool fan was always going to be an interesting mix. i took a united sticker off her door for a laugh and she had a go at me but after that we got on great. she was with someone else so nothing happened then all of a sudden she got very friendly with me. whenever we went out as a group she would cosy up to me and sit on my lap etc....the signs were there but i was too dumb to realise as my eye was on someone else...

Alison - she was a half malaysian girl with a really fun personality, from the first instance we just clicked but i again didn't have the balls to ask her out and i was too busy getting stoned instead. we'd go out together and do stuff and i think this was her way of saying to me "ask me out then you tool" but it never registered...then she ended up with someone else...when he did the dirty on her it was my shoulder she cried on and she was there for the taking but i didnt as that would have been too easy...i went with another girl instead and she found out so she got off with one of my mates in revenge i think...by which time Maria got fed up with chasing me

Vicky - again at uni, i met her through one of my friends, we liked the same sort of stuff and would again do things together as a group but she was studying law at leicester and i was in manchester...after we both graduated she moved back up north to her parents and got her own place nearby...we would regularly hang out together and do things together but even though she kind of knew i liked her and i knew she liked me...it never went any further...she was probably my best female friend and i was scared that if asking her out wouldn't work then it would make our friendship very awkward...i lost contact with her 12 years ago after my dad died and haven't heard from her since

if i had read the signs or could even be bothered to pluck up the courage then maybe my life would have been different...for better or worse? i cant say for sure nut i'm glad they didn't because i wouldn't be with the amazing woman i am with now and wouldn't have the 3 awesome mini-gonzys i have now....some things were just meant to happen that way and i don't regret it

Michelle from San Francisco, Bradford uni c1987. In hindsight it was obvious she was interested but at the time I was oblivious 🙄

Are we just shit at understanding and talking to women?

I'm not sure really. Quite alot of my close mates are female (to the amusement of my mates that are male); not sure why; think it could be because it was my mum that brought me up.

With regards to lasso though, I often just end up "trolling" my own life when chatting to her. I know I shouldn't be saying it, but I just can't help myself. Probably aspergers or something. Obviously it makes for funny stories, but it won't get me anywhere.

I'm interested in knowing more about what Michelle from San Francisco thought of Bradford ca 1987.

Culture shock or what...

... and then there was Rachel. I'd already been in a 9 month relationship with her but that had died a year or so earlier. One snowy night, again c1987, I bumped into her in a club. We got chatting, spent all that evening drinking together. Went back to hers for 'coffee' (which turned out to be whisky) and then she asked if I wanted to stay the night.

Correct answer would've been 'have you got an alarm clock?'

Nope, not me. 'Sorry Rachel, got to get to work in the morning.'

I never saw her again

I'm interested in knowing more about what Michelle from San Francisco thought of Bradford ca 1987.

I think she enjoyed it, it was a much better place than it is now 😉

Met a girl through sailing, and we got on together really well for a few years sailing on the same boat at the same events, I thought something was bound to happen, but never really did. I even took her to a wedding as my 1+. She went off and did VSO for a couple of years and our weekly e-mail dwindled off a bit. I then met someone else and ended up engaged then married. Bumped into said previous friend recently, who judging on the conversation was still hankering after me, although it was her who buggered off to Indionedsia and didn't keep in touch..oh well.

In Whistler my mate left the hot tub and two steaming hot (in every sense) girls who were all over him (to the point where it was so obvious that everyone else had left them to it) because, well he's a stickler for rules, and Whistler has very strict rules about noise at night. It was gone 10pm and you're not supposed to use hot tubs after that!

The next morning there were two discarded bikinis frozen in the snow on the deck by the hot tub so they'd obviously managed without him.

A couple of mine:

First was in the alps while staying in a chalet a mate was running for the season (spent a lot of time out there that year!). The chalet next door was a bit posher (a fair bit posher!) than his, and the two girls running it were lovely. I can't remember why, but I spent all day snowboarding with one of them rather than the mates I usually rode with. She was lovely Kiwi girl who was a) gorgeous and b) an incredible boarder. We just hung out together all day, got on really well, got drunk that night, flirted blatantly, stayed up after all the other guests had turned in, I tried to kiss her, she wasn't up for it at all. Still confused what happened there!

Second was more of a one that did then didn't. Again, met her snowboarding, got on well, turns out she fancied me - I didn't have a clue. We kept in touch as mates, she invited me to her place in Cornwall to surf. I was really into my surfing then and jumped at the chance, got there and realised how much I fancied her. We had a fun summer off and on, I really fell for her but the more I found out about her, the more I realised she was out of my league. Waaaaay, way out of my league. She lived in a very s****y part of London, volunteered for a charity (working her arse off but didn't earn much more than expenses), and was one of the nicest, unassuming people I'd ever met. She was also a Lady, their family house was like a National Trust property (I stayed once and the only place I've ever counted the bedroom doors along the corridor to make sure I got the right one!).

We both were heading off travelling at the end of the summer and we had plan to meet up in Bali as we'd overlap. We had a weekend together in Cornwall before we went and she had to leave very early on the Monday morning. After she went, I surfed perfect waves at Polzeath as the sun was rising on my own then got out and sat on the headland overlooking the bay and cried my heart out as I knew I'd never see her again.

She called me 6 days before I was due to meet her in Bali and told me she'd met the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. I was devastated! She never did marry him, but is now happily married to someone else and has 2 lovely kids.

^^ Was it Lady Colin Campbell??

I can't even remmebr her name, dark hair, dark eyes, lovely figure, funny, smart, gorgeous, hours talking, drinking and laughing, you invited me up for coffee - i was working the next day and the snow was good (ski instructor and wanted pre-work freshies) so i declined. WTF was I thinking. Next week i saw you some nasty slimy little sh1t was pawing you and you seemed to like it. Devastated.

I know STW has more male than female posters - but it does seem interesting that almost all the stories on this thread are from blokes.

Sorry bit OT, but I would imagine posts on STW are probably ~+95% male*, which explains the content.

*This is a guess, would be [i]mildly[/i] interested in knowing the real stats if they exist.

Redhead, green ski suit.

This reminds me of a story about a former colleague from the USA, let’s call him Chad (because that was his name). He was over in the UK on a placement so we took him out a few drinks one Saturday. Chad was a good looking lad. Blonde, athletic, chiselled good looks, tall and exotically American. He got talking to a couple of very attractive young ladies who were an item but occasionally liked to “entertain” if they found somebody they liked the look of… and they liked the look of Chad. So off into the night he went with an arm around each of them.

However… Chad couldn’t hold his drink and had that very evening discovered the delights of multiple vodka and Red Bulls. He was OK when he was in the bar, but the hit of the cold night air, the long taxi ride, the several flights of stairs up to their flat and the imminent prospect of becoming the filling in a bi-sandwich got a bit too much for him.

According to the great man himself: “As one of them opened the door the other stuck her hand down my trousers and I barfed over them both”.

They locked him out. Leaving him drunk, lost and 3,500 miles from home.

His biggest mistake however was telling us all about it on the Monday morning.

This reminds me of a story about a former colleague from the USA, let’s call him Chad

Chad Hogan?
Yeah!
Do you guys know Chad Hogan?
WOOOOO! SPRING BREAK!

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😆

Reading these stories has made me realise I wasn't an introverted outcast, but just an normal clueless teenager.
Thank you.

Loving all the dumb and dumber moments 😀

[quote=BigDummy ]Women have far more "he was really persistent and couldn't understand that I didn't like him" stories. They also (presumably) have far more "I think he liked me but he never said anything, and then I started dating someone who actually asked me out" stories.

I'm guessing they also have "I really liked him and wish he'd liked me and asked me out" stories concerning blokes who really liked them - I reckon this failure to understand the opposite sex works both ways, and women don't understand that some of us are shy. Spot on with all of that post though.

As for me, no problem with talking to women - not even those I fancy. I do have a problem with actually making a move, and to be honest at reading the signals. The other two most obvious ones I can think of I was really good friends with, and partly scared of losing them as friends, but guess what I'm not friends with them now either any more - though I'm still not sure whether either of them was actually interested in me, the only one I'm sure about is the one I've mentioned where I was effectively told that I'd missed my chance.

This is highly depressing I must say. Funnily enough....and it might be an age thing as I'm getting old....but I have recently been reminiscing about the missed opportunities as they won't come round again!

One was when I was taking home this blonde actress and instead of taking up the offer to come in, I declined, for what seems now the most ridiculous reason! 😥

Her name was Olivia (even her name was attractive), she was WAY out of my league but for some reason took a shine to me, our paths crossed about 4 times, we kissed on at least a couple of those. But never really got it together beyond that, probably my fault.

That being said, things haven't turned out badly for me at all, I often wonder where she is now, but more in an interested to know way as opposed to wondering why I'm not there too.

Life remains pretty damn good as it is though.

.but I have recently been reminiscing about the missed opportunities as they won't come round again!

With you there. Ater partying hard I was twice invited to share a bed with a lesbien lady - by herself - and slept next to her on two occasions. After that we seem to fall out for no apparent reason, I have the nagging feeling she wanted me to try it on with her, although I despite being drunk felt I should respect her sexuality and not do so.

Spitting image of Rhianna in the Umbrella video, albeit white.

I think this is cheating because we did end up together for years but here's how good I am at making a move. Spent the night together in a single bed, nothing happened, then was invited to join her in the shower, declined. I mean, wtf, young me? Seriously.

I once slept on the same bed (share a bed) with a girl for few days that I fancied and with her not refusing either ... but I did nothing ... 😯

I felt like a saint then ... 😮

But now I feel like an idiot ... should have at least squeezed or felt the boobies a bit but I did not. Having said that I was a virgin so not sure where to stick the little man to be honest ... could have entered the wrong "door" all I know. Bet she thought I was a homo or something ... dammit!

I'm glad its not just me.
Ive so many missed moments that it makes me want to weep sometimes, even MsD thinks its hilarious when someone has blatantly been hitting on me & friends have worriedly pointed it out to her - her reply is always "don't worry, he won't notice a thing" & then she takes great delight in telling me about it afterwards!
She had to turn up on my doorstep with a long coat over corset, stockings & killer heels before I got the hint!

This is just the most depressing and honest thread ever. I cannot ready any more without getting really sad.

mikey-simmo - Member

This is just the most depressing and honest thread ever. I cannot ready any more without getting really sad.

😆

Jo - we'd known each other at school, and used to get on the same bus on the way to college & have a chat. Found out when we'd both gone to uni (at opposite ends of the country) that she'd fancied me as much as I'd fancied her - another "don't spoil the friendship" romance bites the dust.

Heidi - Swiss girl who I met on the beach in Mexico (a lot out of my league). Spent a bit of time travelling around with her and her mate. Her mate asked me if I wanted to do her instead (I declined) so I felt a bit bad going after Heidi and dropped it.

Learned my lesson after that, and spent the next 5 years asking out anybody who I fancied. Lots of rejection, lots of good times...

Fortunately, I managed to pick up on the signs when (the now) Mrs Dubleyou was flirting on a skiing holiday - winner 🙂

Well, I met a girl at the Rainbow bar
She asked me if I'd beat her
She took me back to the Hyatt House
I don't want to talk about it

Shooting an interview many moons ago with Jenny Powell at Tyne Tees in Newcastle, she was flirting outrageously with me. Then as we were packing away the gear, she came over, gave me her number and asked me out. Unfortunately for me, my then girlfriend was the interviewer. Needless to say she wasn't amused, and marched me off to the car and away we sped. A similar thing happened with the "Twins" from Neighbours with similar results, but thats another story with a sad ending.

[quote=mikey-simmo ]This is just the most depressing and honest thread ever.

Yet I keep being drawn back to it, like something you know is bad for you, but impossible to resist. Though I mostly find it depressing thinking about my own missed chances rather than worrying about the ones other people have had (and to be honest I've still led a sheltered life - fairly sure I've never missed a blatant opportunity to have a shag like some are describing).

One day, whether you are 14, 28 or 65,
you will stumble upon someone who will start a fire in you that cannot die.
However, the saddest, most awful truth you will ever come to find
is they are not always with whom we spend our lives

Beau Taplin, Hunting Season

At my Aunty's wedding a young girl took quite a liking to me, I paid little attention but recall she was rather attractive. Turns out her Dad is extremely wealthy, ridiculously so, still never mind. In a tedious link kind of way one my staff's son married he sister recently.

I got very close (many, many moons ago!) to a female member of the Swiss ski team whilst in Whistler. As i was about to leave, she asked me to stay with her for the summer.....for some unknown reason i poliely (and cheerily for some unknown effin reason?) declined to return to a job i didnt like in a city i didnt like........it wasnt until i got home i realised exactly what she was suggesting......i still kick myself today as to what could have been! She was perfect and we got on famously in every sense of the word. Gutted. She went on to do good things too!

Lesson is kids, when a woman who you like asks you to stay in a place you love just do it. Life is short and opportunities with dream women don't come along everyday (certainly for me anyway!!). Take it, you can always come home if it doesn't work out!!!

How many of these dream women would have been a dream once between the sheets? Without wishing to derail the thread another thread could be entitled "your worst experiences between the sheets". for every cougar there's a frightened mouse, a Victorian morals, the girl who's doing it but clearly isn't into it to the point you wonder why you bothered and why she seemed so flirty and seductive a few minutes before - sometime the chemistry just doesn't work.

It's perhaps easier to admit one missed out on something potentially great than admitting what you thought would be great was a damp squib or complete fiasco.

Mine "never happened" is a flirty girl I tried to seduce, failed but continued to socialise with, put up when she was homeless, traveled with and had a fun platonic friendship with. Until the day she stripped (stone cold sober) and wanted sex. I refused. Hell really does have no fury like a woman scorned; we were in southern Spain and I honourably escorted her 1000 silent kms back home to France where we parted with her still glowing white hot with rage. Another lucky escape. Well would you have after two years of p**** teasing?

yes I have to agree Edukator - the lure is not knowing what would have happened next. We imagine the best case scenario for our other selves...but equally it could have been a bad move. Maybe, if you had taken that road, it would have completely cut you off from where you are today.

I wouldn't swap what I have with my wife and kids. I know that a couple of my missed chances would have put what I have now in jeopardy so I am glad they are missed chances...from my point of view as it stands at least. Maybe there is some other parallel universe point of view reflecting that back.

Thinking of the of the other relationships and lives that could have been - across time - puts me in mind of the incredible improbability of me being here and my kids being here too.

it was 1997 and i was in ibiza with the lads... not a beer filled adventure, but a narcotics filled one (it was ibiza in the 90's after all). great time was been had by all and i was having a deep and meaningful with stunning mixed race girl from birmingham, she was single i was single... she was blue eyed, very tanned, slim with long dark hair & wearing a white dress... i was transfixed... she told me, with a glint in her eye, that she had a pierced nipple. i asked her to show me, she did... and i said something along the lines, "well, that's lovely... right, see you later" and walked off thinking what a smooth operator i was... *sighs and shakes head solemnly*

i knew she was leaving in the next couple of days and never saw her again....

probably for the best ( i keep telling myself, for some reason)

Just one.

A girl who I met through work and became great friends with outside of work. We ended up with a massive group of pals that had some amazing times.

She was leaving our place of work and on her leaving night I drunkenly babbled that I was daft about her. She was in an unhappy relationship at the time. We had many chats about it but she couldn't leave the guy she was with so I just watched from afar. She was an absolutely beautiful girl both physically and personality wise. Possibly the nicest person I ever met.

Tragically I got a call just over 6 years ago almost to the day, telling me she'd passed away following childbirth the day before and then suffering massive heart failure.

There's not a day goes by that I don't think about her and I actually saw a picture of her today and got a but teary 🙁

Even had offers that I missed , or bottled at the time.
At an empty gym, when I was alot younger and abit bigger . Just me and 2 girls on a saturday morning. One says to other ' Im really tired and going back to bed , but theres no one there to tuck me in' whilst looking straight at me.
I simply ignored her and continued bench pressing a bar that I had loaded up just to impress these 2 lasses. D'oh.
Met a lass on a ski hol, she was with a bloke , invited round to hers for night out afters with a few others. I stayed in her bed , she slept on the sofa... She then invited me round for NYE but then blew me off .

Last holiday a few months ago petite little blonde essex girl ( roadie ) wanted to come to my room to 'investigate' my BikeBox Alan. I realised on the plane it probably actualy wasnt the bikebox she wished to investigate.

I just am oblivious , and am a total relationship failure. In the middle of a 20 yr 'dry spell' and have amazing turned down more women than I have actualy slept with. and they are both single figure numbers.

Too old now and almost dont care anymore

This is highly depressing I must say. Funnily enough....and it might be an age thing as I'm getting old....but I have recently been reminiscing about the missed opportunities as they won't come round again!

Me too.

Jakki. A customer of mine when I had a petrol station. Mid 30's like me. Classy, very very attractive, shy but oozed sex appeal. She didn't actually suggest anything but the look in her eyes said it all. Even then I didn't realise it. 😥

Was with a few friends last night and found out about another missed opportunity! All because I mentioned this thread...

Helen: she was in my sister's year at school (2 years younger than me) and was one of those quiet girls that just get better looking the longer you look at them, she was also lovely in a slightly quirky way. I was (and still am if I'm honest) smitten. My female friend knew this and was determined to keep us apart, warning me off Helen at every opoortunity! It became a joke after a while that Helen knew about that every time we were in the same room/pub our mutual friend would constantly be between us knives drawn 😆 This went on for a decade, more as a bit of fun as I thought Helen was not interested at all.

Last night that mutual friend that kept us apart all those years confided that Helen did like me back then but she kept us apart as she thought I'd be a bad influence on Helen 😐 (Yes, I did check it wasn't that she wanted me for herself 🙂 ). Ironically Helen has lurched from one outwardly nice bloke but really an idiot to another in that decade. Our mutual friend only told me all this as she's lost touch with Helen for a while now so thought it wouldn't do any harm 😕

Why is something so normal so bloody complicated 👿

I've always gone for the bookish, good and down to earth girls; cute eyes, slender and slightly square. The ultimate one was called Libby. I just couldn't bring myself to ruin that lovely girl. 🙁

The pretty blonde lead singer from the band I saw last night... was going fine till I tried to talk to her

& about a million girls from plenty of fish/tinder...

Thinking of the of the other relationships and lives that could have been - across time - puts me in mind of the incredible improbability of me being here and my kids being here too.

That way lies ruin.

If you'd decided to go to another bar, or had another pint in the pub before leaving for the club, or......

Our first dance was to this.

There's definitely a few, but tbh all the ones I let get away- I like to think my Spidey sense was warning me something was amiss