[Closed] Red dwarf

Smoke me a kipper...

Like most things that went on so long it had its ups and downs. Fondly remembered.

The work of unbridled genius. Duane Dibley......

From memory it got really good when Rimmer turned up.. Series three? Then went terrible when kachansky (spelling) re-appeared, around series... 8?

EDIT sorry was it Kryten that appeared later ...?

Love

Although it'd be full blown man love if it wasn't for the later efforts.

Edit: beaten to it

Edit edit: I'm off sick today, know what I'm doing this morning.

Would anyone like some toast?

I'd do Betty, but I'd be thinking of Wilma

Holly

later efforts really lacked the edge, i think the best was series 5.
Quarantine being a total classic!

Smeeeeeeeeeg Heeeeeeaaaaaad!!!!!!

Lager, the only thing that can kill a curry.

Love,

I remember watching the 1st episode,
When it 1st aired thinking it was a serious SciFi drama

It got tired as they got old but its cool to see some good SciFi plots mixed up with ridiculous comedy, rare for tv
my wife can probably tell u series and episode of any quote I throw at her, its one of the reasons I married her I think

Is now a good time to ask about a pay rise?

go to red alert! are you sure sir? it does mean changing the bulb.

Ahhh, smug mode!

Love it 😀

Holly: [her IQ has been increased to 12,000] Strike a light! I'm a genius again! I know everything! Metaphysics, philosophy, the purpose of being-everything! Ask me a question, any question, and I'll answer it."
Talkie Toaster: "Any question?"
Holly: "Yes."
Talkie Toaster: "How to break the speed of light? How to marry quantum mechanics and classical physics? Any question at all, truly anything and you will answer?"
Holly: "Yes."
Talkie Toaster: "OK, here's my question: Would you like some toast?"

Rimmer steps out into the doorway, his jacket is torn below the shoulder.
Lister You've lost me arm!
Rimmer I've lost your watch too.
Lister You bastard!
Rimmer No you're right. It's my fault. My hands are up... well my hand is up.
Lister You think this is funny?
Rimmer No. But this is.
Reveals that the 'missing' arm was behind his back and makes obscene gestures with both hands

Talkie Toaster: "Howdy doodly do. How's it going? I'm Talkie, Talkie Toaster, your chirpy breakfast companion. Talkie's the name, toasting's the game. Anyone like any toast?"
Lister: Look, I don't want any toast, and he doesn't want any toast. In fact, no one around here wants any toast. Not now, not ever. No toast."
Kryten: "Let me have a talk to him, mechanical to mechanical. Now you listen here..."
Talkie Toaster: "How about a muffin?"
Lister: "Or muffins! We don't like muffins 'round here! We want no muffins, no toast, no tea cakes, no buns, baps, baguettes, or bagels, no croissants, no crumpets, no pancakes, no potato cakes, and no hot cross buns, and definetely, no smeggin' flapjacks!"
Talkie Toaster: "Aaah...so you're a waffle man!" (RD: White Hole)

Everybodys dead Dave

. bigrich - Member
go to red alert! are you sure sir? it does mean changing the bulb

LOLcano

Rimmers Risk Log book

Kryten on the radio: "Iron duke, Iron Duke; this is pawn sacrifice..."

Love it, although it has aged terribly! Mrs D bought me the DVD box set a couple of years ago.

The show of my teens was the Young Ones, never got into Red Dwarf but did me the "cat" at Touratech last year.

Was v.good until Grant Naylor split up

Your guitar was made of camphor wood? Burn the soldiers! Burn the Armée du Nord! Let them lay down their lives in the name of friendship

So what is it?

[I'm gonna catch you little fishy !!!

eat*

Rimmerworld:

I'd do Betty, but I'd be thinking of Wilma

Lager, the only thing that can kill a curry.

"Relative time dilation, in an amazingly compressed space"
"So what is it?"
and
"Pool God, King of the Cues, Prince - of the planet potters!"

[img] [/img]

"Mr Flibble is very cross, you shouldn't have run away from him. What are we going to do with them Mr Flibble?"

[i]Mr Flibble 'whispers' into Rimmer's ear.[/i]

"We can't possibly do that! Who'd clear up the mess?"

FISH!

everybodys dead dave!
Kryton's universal groinal attachement 🙂

FISH!

Today's fish is [i]trout a la creme[/i]. Enjoy your meal.

Love ?

Hate ?

mild indiferrence, started amusing then quickly became rather dull

but not as dull as people who think endlessly quoting someome elses jokes makes [i]them[/i] funny 😛

"Pool God, King of the Cues, Prince - of the planet potters!"

You jammy goit.

"So forgive me if I'm being thicker than the offspring of a village idiot and a TV weather girl, but what was the point of that little exercise? "

[i]"I've been to a parallel universe, I've seen time running backwards, I've played pool with planets, and I've given birth to twins, but I never thought in my entire life I'd taste an edible Pot Noodle."[/i]
Dave Lister

🙂

Episode 3 commenced.

In between bouts of man flu delirium.

Cougar you're right, it's been a while

Brilliant but got a bit shite towards the end,never tire of watching the old reruns on Dave

[url=

Rimmer song[/url] 🙂

it's been a while

Yeah. I should rectify that. Though I'm banned at home from watching anything I can largely recite. (-:

Look, we've all got something to contribute to this discussion. And I think what you should contribute from now on is silence. Rimmer

Series 1 finale started.

I did get of the sofa to use the toilet, just.

*not a red dwarf quote

Death: We're gonna cut you up so small the worms won't even need to chew.

Rimmer: You can't frighten me! I'm a coward, I'm always scared!

Queeg.

Better than life.

Seminal stuff but the books are better, much darker.

books are better, much darker.

I've never bothered with the books, worth a punt then?

I had to look up the exact quote, but Rimmers c*cked up space corps directive quotes always cracked me up 🙂

Rimmer: In which case we can remove him from duty as per Space Corps Directive 196156.
Kryten: 196156? Any officer caught sniffing the saddle of the exercise bicycle in the women's gym will be discharged without trial? Hmm. I'm sorry, sir, that doesn't quite get to the nub of the matter for me

As did Krytens 'that reminds me of an old Android proverb, 0011110000011100000 etc'

I like. 😀

I never get bored of the opening scene of Camille with Lister trying to teach Kryton to lie 🙂

I love the books. Very different from the series.

Another series for Dave is on the cards last I heard.

Was in the audience for the last one they did. Yeah they're old and it's not quite as classic but it's still fun and it's a laugh watching Robert Llewellyn staying in character between takes. Kryten has the best lines, well, and the cat.

Cougar - Moderator

FISH!

Today's fish is trout a la creme. Enjoy your meal.

FISH!

Wilma Flintstone

Kryton's universal groinal attachement

Why thank you.

My fave:

Kryten: I can't hear anything at all sir
Lister: whys that Kryten?
Kryten: because there are noooooo sounds.

Don't know why but that scene makes me laugh hysterically - krytens visage does it I think.

"Is this normal?"
"What, taking pictures of it and showing it to your mates? NO!"

Kryten " well twist my nipple nuts and send me to Alaska"

Not sure why that one stuck with me but it still makes me giggle

Seminal stuff but the books are better, much darker.

The audio books read by Chris Barrie are better again...

Sums up STW posters pretty well..

"I just want to say: over the years, I have come to regard you as . . . people I met." - Rimmer, Holoship

Arnold Judas Rimmer bsc (bronze swimming certificate)has by far the best lines. Most of them happen to be insults.
QUIT YOUR FOUL WHINING YOU FILTHY PIECE OF DISTENDED RECTUM!

Let's face it, buddy. I have a body that makes men wet.

We are legion.

And, of course;

Shmeeeeeeeeeeeeheeeeeeeeeed.

Double Polaroid.....

Rimmer: Kryten! Unpack Rachel and get out the puncture repair kit. I'm alive!

Oh and I didn't know there was an Series 1 to 8 DVD boxset, instantly ordered online, so I'm going to popular when that arrives and I have a marathon Red Dwarf session

My sister and I watched the entire series 1-7 boxset when she came to visit me at university (a few years ago). We drank cider, ate pizza and watched back-to-back episodes. Great times! Although all week, my dreams featured the theme tune every 30 minutes.

Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb.

A superlative idea sir with just two minor flaws....

I liked the one where the recorded Cats body signs, heart beat etc, and laid down a dance tune.

On and off watcher. Mostly preferred it on.

Holly, this isn,t my breast! I want my own nipple back (squezes breast and pauses) no hurry.

I've never bothered with the books, worth a punt then?

Oh yes. Red Dwarf and Better than Life are great. I'm not so keen on the others.

Holly the ships computer with an iq of 6000, the same iq as 6000 pe teachers.

I also liked the April fools joke holly played on lister about norweb and the sausage.

Kind of a quote.... 🙂
[img] [/img]

[img] [/img]

Mike - I racked my brains for that one.

Holly did Rimmer ever work in garbage disposal?

___

Lister: imagine making love to a woman with six breasts.

Rimmer: imagine making love to a woman.

Both from the same episode iirc.

From the first episode.

Toddhunter: Oh Rimmer you are a goit.

_____

If a jobs worth doing do it well. If a jobs not worth doing give it to Rimmer.

Love it. Meltdown is a work of genius;

Lister: Rimmer, what's going on out there? Is that Mahatma Gandhi? What's he doing practising hand-to-hand combat with a nun?
Rimmer: That's not a nun, Listy. That's Lieutenant Colonel Mother Theresa.

To Ganymede and Titan yes sir I've been around,
but there aint no place in the whole of space as that good old toddlin' town,
lunar city seven your'e my idea of heaven,
you good old fashioned terraformed settlement.

Remember it's Rimmer's mind out there. Expect sickness!

Two full series seemed to sort my Migraine out.

A productive day.

Russell96 - Member
Oh and I didn't know there was an Series 1 to 8 DVD boxset, instantly ordered online, so I'm going to popular when that arrives and I have a marathon Red Dwarf session

Add to that Back to Earth and series X.

Back to Earth is not so good, but on rewatching the directors cut it's not so bad, especially with the Blade Runner references, and series X to me feels more like the early days of Dwarf, which I always preferred anyway.