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Righto, tempting fate here but I've finally got my test in a couple of weeks, so time to get a horrible car for hauling bikes around in an undramatic, uninvolving and inexpensive manner.
Requirements are:
Sub £3000- and the further below £3000, the more I can allow myself to spend on bike stuff. Could go higher but that's where I'd like to stop.
Big enough to swallow a bike whole- though as small as possible while still managing this would be nice. 2 bikes and kit really is the ideal without having to smash them in, we regularily put 2 bikes and bags in a mazda 3 and it's a total pain.
Probably an estate.
Reliable- needing a little TLC is OK but outright breakdowns and high maintenance bills are not, I'm a competent enough spanner but I don't want big bills obviously.
Comfy for mile munching but doesn't have to be at all luxurious, just sensible
No tonka trucks.
Performance is pretty much a non-issue, there's no car I can insure that'll come close to the performance of my motorbike so I'll just get my speed fix there. Though the ability to overtake pensioners in the borders is a requirement so nothing dog-slow either.
Looks- has to be non-hideous, but other than that not picky
So... What are we looking at here. Mondeo, clearly, and Octavia. Astra, Vectra, V40, Passat [i]maybe[/i], not sure of the load bay? 306/406? I'm not a car person so I don't have much of a clue past that, so any advice would be welcome. Would a golf or focus estate be big enough? Lots of Scenics around well in price, that could work well but I'm not really old enough for a Scenic. Wow, LOTS of Scenics. Just to widen the options
I suppose ones to avoid would be just as useful- impractically small estates, known rustboxes, that sort of thing.
Oh, and not a 335d 😉
Hmm was gonna say Mondeo but the mk3 is not as relaible as the mk1/2.
Avoid early ml3 with inlet manifold that breaks up. Still a very nice car and chain drive so no timing belt worries.
Flywheel clutch etc but estate-does it suffer the same subframe bush prob as it has a different rear set up.
306 with low mileage as they do fall apart.
Passat would be really nice.
Focus is good too but mondeo is solid and cheaper from rep mobiles being vast.
I would a like a mondeo estate as the parts are ok-ish cheap.
Xsara diesel
From your list, the V40 and Astra estates are at the smaller end and won't take a bike whole, you'll have to take one wheel off to get them in. I'd go with a Passat to be honest.
306 estate.
BMW 335d Touring
406 estate diesel. I drove it from London to Poland and back last Summer fully loaded, no problems. 758 miles in a day, easily. Cheaper to run 2.0HDi, simpler so more reliable 1.9DT. One thing is worth having - the driver's sear with lumbar support.
Mine's done 175k miles and drives better then at 150k. Bought for under a grand.
Astra estate takes bikes whole in my experience. Maybe they've got smaller, mine was an F reg...
Focus estate is huge inside. Mondeo will eat a whole Focus and it will rattle around inside!
Passat is small inside, the suspension bulges into the boot just where a bike needs space.
There's a reason why old Peugeot diesels are popular in Africa - they go on forever.
Old high end stuff is insanely cheap. (eg Vauxhall Omega if you can afford the fuel!) and you travel in luxury. I saw a Jaguar saloon recently for 1800quid...
Northwind. If you are not into driving/handling:
Toyota. Corrolla etc. Go for full (annually serviced) car and your sorted.
I got two bikes, kit and two 6footers into a 3door (old) Yaris.
End of topic.
I would have said a Ford Mondeo, but you say you want a horrible car...
306 estate, chepish, certainly horrible. I do miss the mondeo, but the mpg from the 306 is great, although the mondeo was petrol.
The other bills with the 306 have been low as well, it doesnt eat tyres, it doesnt eat brakes. £1500 should get you a reasonable one. Don't expect great comfort, a smooth ride or a quiet ride.
My 306 started first time after standing up for 2yrs.
What are they like on the electrics?
If anything like my old 306, abit odd, had a problem with the elecky window on the passenger side, traced back toa dodgy wire on the drivers door!
(old shape) Focus estates are roomy inside, (nothing compared to the mondeo though) though you will need to remove wheels off both bikes to make em fit in, mine takes one bike with need to do anything other than throw it in. Mines been dead reliable but not the greatest (or worst) on fuel in the 1.8 petrol format, m8 has a similar aged desiel one & it's quite agricultural considering how recent a car they are (hdi's & the like are much nicer) but they work & are reliable ime.
A honda civic aerodeck (estate) should fit your budget and requirements and they just keep going forever. Insurance should be reasonable too 'cos they're a bit old man style. Comfy enough and reliable but not a huge car.
Buy my 1989 Sciricco, £400 posted.
W Reg VW Bora 1.6 SE I know one going cheap, I may even MOT before it expires.
merc estate,, older style ones,,, can be had very cheap,, big enough to sleep in,,
i bought on off ebay 4 years ago for £600 kept it two years without a problem gave it to my friend he has owned it 2 years and only has had to put a pair of tyre on it
Vauxhall omega - dirt cheap, super comfy, bigger than a volvo estate, good ground clearance for forest roads, old 2.5 diesel is pick of the bunch as it is a bmw engine, avoid the 2.5 V6, 3.0 guzzling for 2.0 performance, parents got rid of theirs at quarter million miles after I left home and they didn't need to cart my crap to uni' and stuff, the interior looked untouched
Spey Stout - Member
Buy my 1989 Sciricco, £400 posted.
No no no, evil man evil. Dont you dare tempt me.
I've got a focus hatch and I can get a bike in the back with only the front wheel popped out (and let's face it, one wheel isn't exactly difficult) but I would go for a diesel Mondeo estate according to your criteria, the 2L would be fine, the 2.5L would be heavier on fuel
I'm a regular purchaser of budget motors - my big tip is go for base models, less to go wrong and less likely to have been driven by idiots who think they are sports cars
My old man has a cracking Citroen Xsara hatch back, just serviced and done the timing belt etc. It's a deisel and I think he's looking for £400. cheap to run and insure etc, chuck loads into the back of it and then you'l have quite a lot left for bike stuff...
BMW 3 series Touring (last model) are [b]not[/b] big enough in the boot to get a bike in whole without a great deal of faffing; two bikes would almost certainly need at least the front wheels off.
I know, I had one. Lovely car mind, just not big enough boot for my requirements
Ooh, some good suggestions in there, cheers! It doesn't specifically HAVE to be slow and horrible 😉 But y'know, first car, an element of bangernomics is probably sensible.
ade ward, I like that thought, a lot... Drac, whereabouts are you?
I've got one of these, it's a 1.6 cheap to insure and roomy with the seats down, Takes two bikes but the front wheeels have to come off.
Ultra reliable and 3k will get you a nice one with around 70k on it, make sure it's had a new cam belt at 64k miles.
I get around 340 miles out of a 55 pound fill up.
[img] 
[/img]
Interested in a Saab 9-5 aero HOT? W plate, as reliable as any car I've ever had. Available soon, looking for £2K.
Joolsburger, a mate has one of those and he's spent the last 6 months having the piss mercilessly ripped out of him for it. Not least because he's very very tiny. I quite like it though.
Backhander, if you have any pics and want to throw them at andrew@blackjack.f9.co.uk, certainly can't hurt. Oh, unless of course you live in Yeovil or something 
Same goes for anyone else that has a car that they think is absolutely perfect for cyclist transportage, and yet is selling for some reason.
No problems Andy. I'll get some tomorrow.
Full leather, heated seats. I'll be sad to see it go but I have a company car on the way (I think!).
Bristol based
Gotta be a Mondeo estate - my old M reg passed it's MoT again this year with no work required - and I don't look after it!
It'll take two bikes complete or three with front wheels off and still room for third passenger in the back. Mines a turbo diesel (nippy when yo need it) and does 55 mpg 😀
Fiat Multipla.
A mate has one. It is truly shit.
[img] 
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Even worserer, the original:
[img] 
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Would recomend the Mondeo estate. With your budget you could get the lowest milage, best condition Mk1/2 turbo diesel available and have lots of change.
Also, diesel 75 estate?
Fiat Multipla.
[b]
arghh my eyes arrghh my eyes someone please gouge them out now arrghh[/b]
Talkemada has excelled on brief though. You did say recommend me a horrible car. Talkemada offered you a truly hideous car 😆
Back ontopic. I almost bought a 03 Seat Leon 1.9TDI SE 5door silver for 2.5k. Why didn't I? The boot would be impossible to fit a pram into. A bike- you'd probably get away with it.
The Multipla is ace. Unique but other than frivilous parts falling off they are solid.
not very long though so 1 bike built will probably go diagonal in the back. In my old one we could easily get 3 people, 3 bikesv with wheels off and assorted gear. Not bad for a 4m long car.
Pondering another at moment.
The oddest decent bike carrier a mate had was a Calibra, with the seats folded down the back was huge.
Northwind I have the car for you a 52 astra 1.8sri its has a dent in the side door , is currently covered in dog hair and mud and is generally a little scruffy, on the upside it has done relitively low milage, im gonna say about 65k but will check that later and in the last year it hs had £400 worth of michelin tyres, 600 on new brake calipers, rear springs , and rear pads and discs plus a servic and i have just spent 150 on an mot and some new front disc and pads. Basicaly it i have had the car for about 5 years but in the last two it hasnt had that much use, as i used to ride to work and drive to liverpool from sheffield once a week , i got a new job and company car and was going to keep this as the bike and dog mobile but running 3 cars in a 2 person family is a bit much , essentially its a good car but a needs a bit of tlc. looking for around £1500 my email is in profile if interested
a little more info , its group 9 insurance and has the irmischer body kit , fuel economy is pretty good and it has never broken down on me, the boot is pretty big and i have had 3 bikes in the back with the rear seats down
it looks like this but different wheels
[img] 
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http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=280496585826&ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT
Citroen XMs are fantastic. They are huuuuuge inside. And handle like a Lotus Elan!
I can vouch for the XM. Truly a crazy car!
My parents had a 3 litre petrol with sport suspension and it was mental! Fast as hell and the handling was absolutely mind boglingly brilliant for a car like that. Brilliant, brilliant car to drive.
skoda roomster, horrible but great. don't know if you could get one for £3k
You could buy my Audi A6, currently on the classifieds. I need to know it is going by the end of the week and although it needs a service now, that could be sorted (for a bit more money).
joolsburger - Member
I've got one of these, it's a 1.6 cheap to insure and roomy with the seats down, Takes two bikes but the front wheeels have to come off.Ultra reliable and 3k will get you a nice one with around 70k on it, make sure it's had a new cam belt at 64k miles.
[b]I get around 340 miles out of a 55 pound fill up.[/b]
Erm, that's not great - I get about that return from this...........
[img] 
[/img]
I would buy that XSara ^^^^^ for £400. Bargain, wonky electrics but 306 floorpan and cheap as chips to run. Insurance will be more than rhe depreciation.
hora - MemberSpey Stout - Member
Buy my 1989 Sciricco, £400 posted.No no no, evil man evil. Dont you dare tempt me.
Sounds interesting... But no... Can't do it. love(d) them... But noooo, not any more! No more Sciroccos! I can't, I really can't!
Stonemonkey, looks nice but not really what I'm looking for at all tbh. Thanks though!
OK, anyone else trying to sell me their car, first of all be no more than 100 miles from Edinburgh please!
Can I just +2 (3?) to the 2L, Focus Tdi estate. I know that in a thread like this everyone nominates their car as being the best / most economical / mahoosivest but my Focus swallows 2 bikes with wheels on (just roll them in at an angle) with kit no bother at all.
It then gets me to Skye and back from Newcastle three or four times a year, Aberdeen and back at leat twice a year and general running about duties in between, including plenty of motorway miles down South.
As a wedding photographer, I also need a smartish looking car which never fails unexpectedly - it never has 🙂
I'd third a Focus Estate - cheap to run, big enough inside, nice to drive. Try and get the TDCI engine over the TDI if possible - it's a fair but better.
Foci Estates are definately a good car, but do fetch good money because everyone knows it. Quite a few are thrashed ex co cars though, but not as higher proportion as Astras.
The C-Max is actually cheaper now, like for like.
As above, if you want a truly horrible car, go for a peugeot of some description. Here's my hire car review of a 308
[i]Peugeot Estate 308 SW
Concious that they had given me the best car they had last week, the rental compaby quickly made sure they delivered the worst they had in the garage this week. Read all about it below.
On delivery bits that didn’t work were…
Windscreen washer pump.
Passenger elecric window.
The gearbox. (I say it was broken on delivery, it actually changed gear but there was a significant delay between moving the stick to the appropriate position, and the gearbox actually feeling like it had got there – so it must have been broke in some way)
The engine. I dunno, maybe three cylinders weren’t firing, it’s the only explanation I can find for such a weak piece of shit.
Things that broke while it was being driven….
The MPG readout would vary from 15 to 999 with 17 other numbers inbetween in a 5 second period and then jam on 47mpg. This would not change unless I cycled through the options upon it would do the same and then stop on 47mpg again. NO MATTER HOW HARD I WAS PUSHING THE ACCELERATOR.
The radio. It was shit to start with but after about ten minutes it forgot how to find radio stations and no matter what I did, would only flick it’s way through the entire radio spectrum before stopping on 95.4 church radio leaving me with approximately 10 more hours sat in a car with no music.
The fuel gauge.
And something kept making a weesh sound near the back of the car.
Things that were just crap anyway……
Switch gear. Made out of soft cheese.
Turning circle. Fair enough, it’s an estate but really, I’m sure you should be able to manouver it into a space at ASDA a bit easier than with an 11 point turn. I drove a transit van today for a few hours and that was more manouverable.
Things that were good about it…
errm…
um……
Aah! You could see a lot of stuff out of the windows.
I got to give it back to the hire company when I got home.[/i]
So far no-one's mentioned the Octavia. Lovely car, [i]very[/i] comfortable on long runs, with the back seats down there's a HUGE boot, tho' an estate would be even better. The 1.9 TDi is very economical, on steady A-road and motorway runs, sticking to limits, I've had over 60/gallon, 63.4 on a Sunday morning trip from Chippenham to services on the M25, about 120 miles. There's a good reason why most taxi drivers seem to use them. If you can find one, a Superb would be even better. My Octi's a 51 plate.
hora - MemberSpey Stout - Member
Buy my 1989 Sciricco, £400 posted.No no no, evil man
DO IT!!!!
Yup, definately an octavia is on the cards too though looking at autotrader mondeos seem to price up a little better.
Older shape Nissan Primera. They are battle buses that will never die 🙂
The Multipla is ace
No it's not. It's shit. It really is. My mate picks me up when we go to footy; I get him to park a few streets away, because I'm so embarrassed to be seen getting in or out of it. His missus made him buy it, when they had a kid. It replaced a Golf. He bought a Fiat Multipla, to replace a Golf. He tried defending it, when he first bought it, but I don't take the piss any more, because I know he's upset over it.
It's a shit car, looks shit, and is a shit design. You can't get **** all in it without taking most of the seats out, it's slow as bastards, cheap and plasticky, and really uncomfortable.
It truly is one of the shittest cars ever made.
Buy an Octavia, then pop into M&S to pick up some jeans and a svelte new polo shirt to go with it.
[b]Astra estates are at the smaller end and won't take a bike whole[/b]
Bollocks. An Astra hatchback will take a bike whole if you are careful.
ownership also entitles you to backhand your wife if she questions when you are going to the betting shop or why the car smells of ladies of the night.Astra estates
My own experience having just bought a Car with a £4000ish budget is that Golfs, Astras and Focus's are overp[riced. As they're what wvereyone buys you can get more value fro money by going a bit left of the field and buying something less common.
I ended up with an 03 Almera with 41000 miles on the clock for a little over my budget and my shonky, very shonky crosa in part ex. Shop around and with your budgte buying privately may be better, espeically if you have no car to trade in (I bought from a dealer mainly to dispose of my corsa easily). I'd try and offer advice but I have a mate whose int cars and views shopping for cars as recreation so my knowledge is limited as he soon gets involved.
My uncle is selling his friends Laguna (guy had to go home due to some serious family reasons and didn't have enough time to sell the car), it's either 02 or 03 plate, 1.8 petrol, just had a new 12 months MOT put on it and apparently all works fine on it + had new tyres on the front. Looks tidy and in good condition. I think he would let it go for £1400 or somewhere around that as it takes the space on his drive. If interested mail me and I can get more details.
I saw the car and it looks very nice, loads of space inside. However it is a Renault but apparently this one still works fine 🙂 He's in Edinburgh, just opposite Portobello High School.
Coyote - Member
Bollocks. An Astra hatchback will take a bike whole if you are careful.
I really hope you don't talk to people like that in real life.
I had an Astra estate and it wouldn't take my Ibis mojo (medium) unless I took the front wheel off. Unless you have put exactly the same bike into exactly the same car, you can't say it's bollocks. Factdiddlyact. 😀
coyote said you had to be careful, which means buying the right bike. 😉
I've got a large Langster into the back of an astra hatchback with both wheels on.
actual he says "a bike" he doesn't mention its size so he's right, a bit rude but right.
I had an Astra estate and it wouldn't take my Ibis mojo (medium) unless I took the front wheel off.
Back seats down or up?
I really hope you don't talk to people like that in real life
8)
hora - Member
Buy an Octavia, then pop into M&S to pick up some jeans and a svelte new polo shirt to go with it.
Classic hora stereotyping.
Actually I was wearing Howies jeans and tee with a Raceface snowboarding coat and Oakley skateshoes today,
so what does that say about your stereotype?
Back at the beginning you said passat estates were a bit on the small side? my parents old y-reg got taken to morzine last summer by me. on the way back I got 3 people, 3 bikes (quake, spicy, pitch) spare tyres, wheels toolbox, 3x luggage, 3x full face's all inside. going very quick for the second half of the journey to catch the ferry and still got 40mpg...
dunno what more you'd want?
You were after a horrible car? The thing is most people seem to just be recommending practical cars which are kind of OK. If it's horrible you're after, then how about a Zafira? Very definitely the nastiest modern "car" I've had the displeasure of having to drive.
ivantate - Member
The Multipla is ace. Unique [s]but other than frivilous parts falling off[/s] they are solid.not very long though so 1 bike built will probably go diagonal in the back. In my old one we could easily get 3 people, 3 bikesv with wheels off and assorted gear. Not bad for a 4m long car.
Pondering another at moment.
Basically wot he said. They're gonna stop making them this year, so I'm thinking of buying a new one to replace my 5-yr old model. The absolute DB when it comes to carrying bikes. We had two bikes (complete) and one with a front wheel off in mine today - and that was leaving a rear seat in so we only had driver and one passenger up front.
They're gonna stop making them this year, so I'm thinking of buying a new one to replace my 5-yr old model.
Jesus wept.
Did you not, for just a moment, wonder why Fiat are going to stop making them? Clue: The answer's in my post above.
5 years old? You must have the really really ugly one then. 😯
Quite frankly you deserve everything you get.
Cars are so much about aesthetics. the Fiat multipla is hands down the most shitty pointless Fugly as sin car voted by ASDA Llandudno carpark staff 2009. We see a lot of cars and that is one really stupid shit looking motor. The only thumbs up, is that it isn't boring looking, like so many other cars.
subaru legacy estate diesel . Big, roomy, great MPG, cheap as chips, ultra reliable, 4wd, and understated so you can **** it up and you wouldn't care. inside aint great but who cares:)
subaru make some ugly cars for sure. not sure they qualify as horrible.
I know someone on here selling a Legnum VR4 for £3000. Very similar to this, but with sexier wheels:
[img] http://www.clubvr4.com/forum/vbpgimage.php?do=full&p=3455 [/img]
2.5L V6 twin turbo, and it's frickin' huge inside. It's a whole lot of car for not much money. Maybe a bit tasty on the insurance, but you never know: I've got a mildly modified one and I'm only paying £550 f/c and that's with zero ncb and the same company that paid me £2.5k after I performed a flawless high-speed pirouette/reverse dismount into trees in my MR2 Turbo last year (Sky Insurance).
Subaru are the only dealers who can charge you Audi servicing prices from shoddy/manky showrooms.
Legnum VR4 = yum.
I can't be arsed reading through all the replies so sorry if it's already been done but how about an [url= http://www.compucars.co.uk/used-cars/vauxhall/astra-van/for-sale/?1120851 ]Astravan[/url] (this isn't mine it's just one that turned up on google!)
Sky high mileage - I wouldn't pay more than £1500 for that. Not a bad idea but you can find better.
CountZero - Memberhora - Member
Buy an Octavia, then pop into M&S to pick up some jeans and a svelte new polo shirt to go with it.Classic hora stereotyping.
Actually I was wearing Howies jeans and tee with a Raceface snowboarding coat and Oakley skateshoes today,
so what does that say about your stereotype?
Dunno about hora's comment, but from that description you [i]are[/i] a stereotype 😛
Stereotypical mountain biker, not so much Octi owner, just the most recent of a string of cars: two split-screen Minors, Talbot Horizon, Vauxhall Chevette, Nova, Puma 1.7, Octi.
If the OP wants a truly horrid car, then I can recommend, on personal experience, the most uncomfortable, lousy POS ever foisted onto an unsuspecting public. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you:
the Vauhall Vectra 1.8L. Boss had one as a lease for a while. I found out why Clarkson was so scathing. I'd be barely off the industrial estate before starting to wriggle around trying to find a comfortable spot, then having to spend several hours in extreme discomfort. It was an absolute slug, just bloody awful, so you ought to be able to pick up a W or X reg one for peanuts.
I've only ever been a passenger in a Vectra and that was a truly horrible experience.
I think the interior was designed by a Nazi.
"I know someone on here selling a Legnum VR4 for £3000. Very similar to this, but with sexier wheels"
On the one hand, I would absolutely love that, always did have a hankering for the so-ugly-it's-beautiful gallant/legnum. On the other hand, possibly not the [i]ideal[/i] first car Or for that matter the most economic. Still, want.
Legacy looks like another good shout, cheers raddogair, added to the list.
Don't think I want an actual van, in a lot of ways it's the sensible choice but it doesn't really appeal.
I'd go for an old-shape mondeo. its your first car, so you're fairly likely to ding it. The older mondeo bumpers (pre-2000) are made of the brittelest, thinest plastic imagineable, so you're less likely to damage other cars. I've had mine for 4 years - 99 plate diesel, picked it up for under a grand, with 125000 miles. Its now on 170000 miles and has been faultless. Starting to get a little rusty, but its had a hard life. You'd be able to pick up a mint, low mile, petrol (1.8 would be a good compromise, the diesel is economical but gruff and slow) one for £800 or so. I'd expect very good reliability for 2-3 years, and the plus side is if something really expensive goes wrong, you've only lost a maximum of £700 (cost price-scrap value)
Ive wanted a Legnum for about two years now 🙁
As it is, if you want a really shit car 8) Get a Skoda Felicia estate. Mines been absolutely amazing over the last year. few scrapes, an inch of mud on the boot floor (the rear seats never get put up) I loves it.
Felicia
Isn't that a sexual act? An arrestable offence if performed in a public place? 😯
On the one hand, I would absolutely love that, always did have a hankering for the so-ugly-it's-beautiful gallant/legnum. On the other hand, possibly not the ideal first car Or for that matter the most economic. Still, want.
Dammit, man! Are you buying with your heart or your head?
I'm pretty sure if you talk nicely to him, you'll get it for less. That'll go towards petrol, insurance, bike toys, etc.