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Hi, can anyone recommend me a dating site/app/approach for a socially awkward, 21 yo boy/man, inexperienced with the fairer sex, not v confident, not esp mature, but nice looking, v well mannered, and keen!
Cheers
All of them?
Well not the BDSM/Kink based ones, they might be a bit much. Grindr might not float your boat either.
Just a matter of getting your profile dialled and being realistic about who to swipe on...
(I've had good dates and relationships off the back of 5 wildly different apps now. Including one of the, errrr, less mainstream apps!)
I read a stat ( that I can't find now)
one in three ladies are " active" on the first date.
Having been on dating sites for three months and never managed to get a date, have fun finding out if that's true 😃
My perennialy single male pals (40 somethings) are on match and bumble.
Probably best avoid the ones suggesting meeting in Colombia...
I've had two pals have good results with Bumble.
Reddit has an old school personals section for quite a few big cities that might be worth a look given it's free.
Bumble! Far and away better than anything else...
But some people swear by Hinge....
I've previously suggested a no-cost option of searching Facebook Marketplace for anyone selling a secondhand wedding dress - that way you can sort the results by size and location.
Facebook dating is free and I have had ome nice dates from it.
some people swear by Hinge….
Mary? 🥰️
I signed up a week or so ago. 4 dates in 8 days, some meaningless sex that has led to further self loathing, and a reminder internet dating is depressing..
If your aim is getting balls deep then it’s like shooting fish. If you want to actually meet someone you genuinely like I’d not recommend
that said, I’m currently chatting to some school headmistress from tinder who seems intent on some ‘back door fun only’ so my 20 quid monthly subscription may still prove to be money well spent..(I’m assuming she’s not meaning my back doors)
(I’m assuming she’s not meaning my back doors)
She's looking for a locksmith - possibly a cross-posting from Check-a-trade
possibly a cross-posting from Check-a-tradesmans entrance
FIFY
4 dates in 8 days is a recipe for disaster and exhaustion.
I met my wife on Tinder, 8 years ago, but no real experience of the more modern ones
Had lots of dates off Tinder (widest choice - of looks and attitude), fair few off Match, including my latest, who will be for the rest of my days, I’m pretty certain.
Never had any meaningless sex, but that’s because I wasn’t looking for it. However, I am far from 21! At that age just get signed up to Tinder for free and see what matches he gets, they’re not all looking for casual sex.
Bumble is good for socially awkward blokes, once you match the lass has to make the first move.
Met my partner on there last summer, but I spent two years OLD before then. The one in three stat seems optimistic, but I'm not sure I'm wired that way to pick up the signals.
Hinge seems like the best alternative to Bumble, Tinder wasn't for me, PoF was scary, like a thousand souls calling out in pain at once. Match just seemed to look to be leveraging money out of people on the site.
I don't miss it, but it does seem the only way to meet people nowadays.
Get job at company with good male / female split.
Dress well, stay in shape, be polite and friendly.
Slip into conversation with bored older folk that you’re looking for a girlfriend (after you get to know them, not on your first day at work). Watch them make a game of trying to help you.
I have to face this - from a different direction! 63 years old and out of the dating game for 45 years and according to my pals I'm a bit odd 🙂
I have zero idea how to proceed apart from I am told dick pics are a bad idea!
Best tip I have been given is get a female or gay friend to check your profile. good photos are essential
"I have to face this – from a different direction! 63 years old and out of the dating game for 45 years "
You'll be overrun with clunge!
You seem like a nice bloke with a back story and a half.
The world is full of lonely ladies of a certain age - you'll be beating them off with a shity stick!
I met my wife on Tinder, 8 years ago, but no real experience of the more modern ones
I found my wife on Tinder.
That was an awkward conversation.
Boom Tish
If he is outdoorsy, Muddy Matches is good. Tinder/PoF etc are a bombscare.
Tinder wasn’t for me, PoF was scary, like a thousand souls calling out in pain at once. Match just seemed to look to be leveraging money out of people
One thing I've learned over the years is that you can't generalise - one app/site they're all like this, another app/site they're all like that.. is total bullshit. There are all different types of women all looking for different things on all of them. I met my partner on Match just as a £4.99 monthly sub was expiring. All the sites have paid for upgrades, they don't really up you chance of meeting someone. Just try not to get desperate(bicycle 😛)
Yep, they can smell desperation. It's like buses, catch one and then a load come along. Life can be complicated. Good luck with your search.
I was going to praise the OP for not trying the old "this is for a friend", but I see they joined in 2009 so presumably it's not for themselves.
that said, I’m currently chatting to some school headmistress from tinder who seems intent on some ‘back door fun only’ so my 20 quid monthly subscription may still prove to be money well spent..(I’m assuming she’s not meaning my back doors)
That's one of those milestone jobs, when you date someone doing it you know you're at a certain stage in life.
I don’t miss it, but it does seem the only way to meet people nowadays.
Is that true, really? I know we're all anti-social these days and there's things we're not allowed to do, but surely more traditional ways work for some proportion of people. It does seem like there's more risks nowadays, not just to your pride if rejected, but I'd like to think people still manage.
Get job at company with good male / female split.
Dress well, stay in shape, be polite and friendly.
Slip into conversation with bored older folk that you’re looking for a girlfriend (after you get to know them, not on your first day at work). Watch them make a game of trying to help you.
Are you trying to set a record for how many policies and items from the company handbook you can violate at once? 😉 Really at anywhere that's moved with the times, those helpers would know better than to even try the slightest thing.
So the OP joined singletrack when they were 6?
It’s like buses, catch one and then a load come along.
Tell me about it. I've been doing dating sites for nearly 4 years now, 3-4 months on (either free or paid subscription, varies) and then 2-3 months off, almost without fail, within 24 hours of me deciding that i'll wind it all up in a couple days and take a couple of momths off, OR immediately after a successful date. I'll get a dozen really interesting matches...
Currently dating though, which is nice.
Is that true, really? I know we’re all anti-social these days and there’s things we’re not allowed to do, but surely more traditional ways work for some proportion of people. It does seem like there’s more risks nowadays, not just to your pride if rejected, but I’d like to think people still manage.
At my age it really does seem like internet dating is the only game in town. Its simply very difficult to meet single women of a compatible age. they don't go to pubs and clubs, joining a class or an activities group to meet folk both reeks of desperation and still only gives a very small pool of possible folk. I have been pretty active socially over the last 18 months. Single women of compatible age I have met? Zero
Hi, can anyone recommend me a dating site/app/approach for a socially awkward, 21 yo boy/man, inexperienced with the fairer sex, not v confident, not esp mature, but nice looking, v well mannered, and keen!
Cheers
to catch a fish you have to think like a fish…
where would a young woman looking for suck a specimen go to find one? The reality is she wouldn’t. Women don’t go looking for socially ackward, inexperienced, immature 21 yr olds. Later teens/early 20s girls are either active in dating sites and have seen more dick picks and put up with more arrogant men than you can imagine OR they are not quite as “keen” on pursuing men at all costs! Meet girls in real life, be a friend to them first and foremost and then it may lead to something along the lines @sillysilly says where you meat their friends or friends of friends.
if as bikes and boots suggests this is maybe for your son rather than you - perhaps don’t add to his pressure! If you’ve brought him up well, so he isn’t predatory and sharing dickpics with girls as a way of saying hello then he’ll stand out in the top half of the field soon enough!
where would a young woman looking for suck
Blimey, straight to business eh? 😉
Dancing clubs - I believe they tend to have a greater portion of females than males. It also forces you to interact with others in a safe but not too forced way as a lot of them require dancing in pairs.
I read it as the OP is looking for a socially awkward, inexperienced 21year old.
I thought they were being very picky.
where you meat their friends
Blimey, straight to business eh? 😉
Meet girls in real life
Yeah. After school clubs n that
At my age it really does seem like internet dating is the only game in town. Its simply very difficult to meet single women of a compatible age. they don’t go to pubs and clubs, joining a class or an activities group to meet folk both reeks of desperation and still only gives a very small pool of possible folk. I have been pretty active socially over the last 18 months. Single women of compatible age I have met? Zero
I'm not in your boat TJ but I'm a bit surprised to hear that. I know a few women who have rejoined the "dating game" later in life and they found the datings apps pretty awful. Of those who have succeeded enough to introduce / publicise the relationship: one from a bike club; one from a hill walking group; one from a theatrical group - admittedly the women have the statistical advantage in those settings but as muddyjames says pick the right activity/class and the odds should be in your favour. I can't see that as any more desperate than an app. The advantage of an app is that the other party is also looking for some sort of "romantic interest" but that doesn't mean they are looking for that same sort of interest as you.
tomhoward
Full Member
I met my wife on Tinder, 8 years ago, but no real experience of the more modern ones.
So did I. As did my wife's beat friend, who also met a Tom!
I had plenty of fun and frolicking on there, but it is also (or at least was) possible to meet people on there with a view to something more long term.
My top tips are to go in without any expectations and see what happens. Confidence is key with the fairer sex though (something I have in abundance) so something to keep in mind.
Maybe I should start a side line in profile writing for you all?
If any of you happens to be not a million miles away from ST towers, late 50s, likes dogs… well, I have a friend. And yes, I will look at your forum posts to see if you have anger issues/unresolved issues with your ex/unsavoury political views 😉
Maybe I should start a side line
well it is called singletrackworld.
Poly - the club joining thing reeks of desperation IMO. Its the advice everyone is given so half the folk there are there for this reason and it will be obvious they are there to letch not do the activity. Its different if you join the club for the activity and then meet someone
Ive not done this clubs thing - perhaps a bit crossed wires. When I say active socially I mean parties and the like. Casting my net wide socially as I try to learn how to be a single man again.
I have some good single female friends and its them who told me this - that someone who joins a club looking for love will be obvious, noticed and reek of desperation. I'm also not really an organised fun / club sort of person. Not a good fit for me.
Facebook Dating is where I found my wife. I might have been fortunate, since my friends who tried the same platform did not have much luck. The good thing is that it does not cost anything.
Dancing clubs – I believe they tend to have a greater portion of females than males
Now, I suggested this a while back on another thread and was shot down by some as being a predator.
I'm my 20s I got a few referrals from female friends. All met IRL in either dancing till dawn dingy clubs or in pubs you couldn't hear each other in.
I've no experience of dating apps other than hearsay from colleagues.
Maybe it's just me but the 1in3 stat was more like 1in1, although I'm not sure 1in3: wasn't suggested.