[Closed] Really random warnings in product details

About 10 years ago I wanted an extra battery for my smart phone. The first one that came up on Amazon had "Does not Explode!" plastered across the packaging just to reassure potential buyers. I didn't buy that one.

I had a hammer with a warning on it telling me not use it to hit anything hard

A lot of ladders have a symbol of a man leaning sideways off the top of the ladder with a line through it

but if you can see the sticker you’re doing exactly that

I’m that sad, I emailed Tesco for clarification.

Good Morning Tesco helpful people.

I have had the most restless, and disturbing night after searching your website. I was quite innocently looking for toaster bags and I saw some on Tesco online, I did notice that they are currently unavailable <span style="font-size: 0.8rem;">however, as you usually stock quality items I thought maybe I could purchase them elsewhere, I was reading all of the information like the savvy online shopper that I am when I noticed that in the last paragraph of the warnings section clearly labelled as an item of caution; I can no longer keep birds in the kitchen!</span>

This is greatly concerning for me and I feel that I need more information, you see I only have a small flat, and as a regular consumer of poultry, including chicken, turkey and a range of fantastic game that this great country has to offer, I have no option but to keep them in the fridge, which rather alarmingly is located in the kitchen!

I have measured the available space in the living room, and no matter how hard I try I cannot fit the fridge in there to allow me to remove the birds from being in the kitchen, I have a very large bathroom, but I also like to have the neighbours round for drinks and a spot of supper, and I fear that I may be branded as rather odd to be "that guy" with a fridge in his bathroom. It is a very lovely area that I live in and as a newcomer, I am certain that word would soon get around and I would be a social pariah in the village due to my bizarre bathroom fridge antics.

There is space in my bedroom, but as a young, single and borderline averagely good looking individual I'm sure I don't have to point out the pitfalls of this location!

This only leaves two locations for my new bird chiller, the garage, which is detached to my property but does have electricity, however sometimes I work very late, sometimes I wake very early, sometimes the first thing on my mind is cooking a fresh and tasty chicken, turkey, game etc and I really don't want to have to get changed out of my nightgown and nightcap just to fetch some poultry. I could, I suppose at a pinch pop a dressing gown on for the short trip, however, my slippers also had a warning label saying indoor use only and I am quite worried to the implications of using these in an unintended manner from the manufacturer's specification. Wear shoes I hear you cry, well that's obvious, unfortunately, none of my current footwear matches my nightgowns and to purchase new fridge shoes seems a bit silly!

So we reach the final possible location, the garden.
I quite like the idea of an al fresco chilled chicken from Tesco, but the obvious problem is obvious, although I stated earlier that I live in a lovely area, I forgot about Mrs Smith at number 22, shes a bit shifty, when she stares at you, you can see deep into her soul and its a tormented and tumultuous void. I think the introduction of white goods into the garden would have her round like a shot, probably after a full clandestine investigation, she would discover my new chicken chiller and just help herself. In certain situations this would be ok, sharing is caring and all that, but with the added expense of fridge shoes (as I would still have to venture outside) and the disappointment and associated cost of finding the poultry palace empty, I think this also rules out the garden.

So, you can see my predicament Mr or Mrs Tesco customer services helper. What do I do? I wish I had never looked at stupid toaster bags, it has literally ruined my life (not to mention Sunday dinner as the chicken is now on the lawn after I ejected it out of the window as soon as I read the caution late last night)

Yours Sincerely,

Mr Pik n Mix

I had a 12v fan for my van and on the packing slip it had a picture of a person on top of product and 'do not stampede'... It was a Chinese bit of kit, so lost in translation.

Maybe a myth

Somebody I know gave all his friends a £50 budget to buy a bike from eBay. On his birthday they were all to meet with their purchases to ride their local trail. One of them bought a kind of cheap BMX/MTB which had a huge label on the top tube declaring ‘CAUTION - Not for stunting!”

About 10 years ago I wanted an extra battery for my smart phone. The first one that came up on Amazon had “Does not Explode!” plastered across the packaging just to reassure potential buyers. I didn’t buy that one.

You would of be fine but only if was also described as 100% Genuine

Not for stunting!

Stunting is why we buy bikes isn’t it?

I had a hammer with a warning on it telling me not use it to hit anything hard

You get different hardness's of hammers, you dont want to hit a piece of hardened steel with another piece of hardened steel.

I bought a sparkler candle in the shape of a 5 for my 5 year olds birthday cake.
Large print warning on the back that it was not suitable for anyone under 5 !

I always smile at the detergent TV adverts that warn,
"keep away from children"
it's a maxim that's stood me in good stead throughout my adult life.

you dont want to hit a piece of hardened steel with another piece of hardened steel.

Well, I do [i]now. [/i]

you dont want to hit a piece of hardened steel with another piece of hardened steel.

Well, I do now.

I wouldn’t mind a crack at that either!

Wear eye protection if you’re gonna do that ^^

Mr Mix, that is the greatest thing I've ever read.

I always smile at the detergent TV adverts that warn,
“keep away from children”
it’s a maxim that’s stood me in good stead throughout my adult life.

I similarly heeded the warning about formulaic pop music on reading the warning "Beware Of Steps."

Warning label on Red Bubble tee-shirts:

Mr Mix, that is the greatest thing I’ve ever read.

Thank you, I do hope they reply.

I do hope that they reply in kind.

Caught a snippet on Radio 4 where some fella described how he discovered his life philosophy written on a bottle of bleach “stand upright in a cool place”

I like the label in Alpkit's tents. Since my tent is put away, I was sure there'd be a photo on the web somewhere, and there is. Inevitably, it's on STW. So I've stolen the link, credit Matt OAB:

I also like the wording on the back of Chamonix ski pass, many years ago:

"Take account of the conditions of utilization, sticking up in the places where you can get it"

Just saw this thread earlier then popped onto Jenson usa randomly to look at plastic full suss'

To find a Californian disclaimer bout loadsa chemicals that can cause cancer

😂

I don't know what a toastabag is but there's some materials/plastics that gas off a little bit under heat- undetectable to a human but birds are more sensitive. Only know about this because it's sometimes an issue with 3d printing, the PTFE tube decomposes a wee bit at higher temps and will kill pet birds

Drac... is that you? 😉 My birds are already dead.

I don’t know what a toastabag is

They’re little bags you can stick an entire sandwich in, complete with filling, then put it into a regular pop-up toaster.
They work very well, too.

Hair curling tongs with “not for internal use” on the warning label.
Which one of you sick bastards made that one necessary?

I have one of these - which the box warns me is not a life saving device.

it makes not specific warnings about internal use

I use Sensodine toothpaste in those pump dispenser tubes. They used to have a note saying if the toothpaste stopped coming out "Push up bottom". I don't think it meant "stick it up your arse" though.
And England's Glory matches had the fuller version of advice for life: keep dry and away from children.

I looked up info on my Knipex tool case today as I'm selling it, only to find out that it's a choking hazard!

https://www.amazon.ca/Knipex-00-21-05-Basic/dp/B000R2C9EG

I think there's more likelihood of damage from dropping it on your toes to be honest.

I similarly heeded the warning about formulaic pop music on reading the warning “Beware Of Steps.”

Me too. From my 2013 photo a day...

My old Zesty used to have washing instructions on it, including “do not machine wash”. Very amusing.

Vittoria tyres ask you to fit a 'good quality paranipples belt'...

A cheap mudguard from China for my wife's bike promised 'good sex if fitted well'. I ordered 6 more. 😂

Loving that one Funkmasterp, what brand came up with that?

Loving that one Funkmasterp, what brand came up with that?

+1

On the built in sat Nov screen there is a warning telling you not to be distracted by the screen when driving. It is a flashing warning that continues until it distracted you enough to switch it off

I was once having a wee in a pub toilets, idly reading the condom machine, like you do. It sold novelty condoms, the 'novelty' in particular being that they were glow in the dark. And in the shape of a rat. Yes, a rat.

There was a warning on the machine that said "novelty condoms only, not to be used as a barrier". I thought that if anything would be an effective barrier to getting your end away, it would be having a cock that looked like a glow in the dark rat.

I thought that if anything would be an effective barrier to getting your end away, it would be having a cock that looked like a glow in the dark rat.

Hahaha!

Not for stunting

Pretty sure I used to see that sticker on Emmelle/Moore Large BSOs. JJB Sports, those were.... n't the days