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I'm applying for a second job at pizza express as a waiter so I can try and save my money to do this africa thing.
However being both dyslexic and retarded I'm not too good at these things and you have helped me out in the past and been very good at it.
Here is my first rough draft
Re: I would like to apply for the waiter vacancy which is currently advertised on your website and I enclose my curriculum vitae for your consideration.
In 2003 I worked as a waiter in Pizza Hut until I completed my degree in 2009. During this time I learnt how to wait on tables and what it took to be a good waiter; I also worked in the kitchen so I could understand how the back of house part of the restaurant worked and what role it provided in customer service.
I am particularly attracted to working at Pizza Express because of the firm‘s excellent reputation serving high quality food in a relaxed calming atmosphere. Whenever I come to Pizza Express as a customer I am always impressed by the friendliness of the employees and how much they seem to enjoy their job, which makes me confident that applying here is the right thing to do.
I am currently working as a Civil Engineer for Balfour Beatty; whilst not in the same industry working there has improved my communication, as well as my organisational skills, and my attention to detail. Adding this to my experience I gained when working as a waiter at Pizza Hut means I believe I am well equipped to fill the position and can become a valuable member of your team.
Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to taking an opportunity to talk with you further about my application.
TheSwede - Member
At the bottom put
P's, I changed my mind, kiss my ass.
Sorry it's from young guns and I always say it to myself after draughting a long letter. Child, I know.
Just noticed I posted in the wrong forum!
How about some paragraphs? Say four of them. One to say which job you are applying for and who you are. A second one to highlight your relevant experience and how it makes you suitable for the job. A third one to detail your availability, how the job fits into your life and your reasons for applying. And a fourth one to accomodate a polite ending that will hopefully lead towards an interview.
There are four paragraphs, just didn't come out in the copy and past from word 😳
good pointshow the job fits into your life and your reasons for applying
Ok, I can see the paragraphs now. A couple of syntax points:
The semi-colons can't be replaced with "thus" so just make for long sentences. Full stops would be better IMO.
"as well as my" is rendundant and although the comma before the following "and" isn't wrong it is unnecessary.
Keep things simple and avoid repetition. How about "These skills along with the experience I gained working for Pizza... ".
Hmm yeah I was going to say they'll ask "why is he coming from being an engineer to working in a pizza place" - would need to be a convincing answer.