Qu-ear-y about cosmetic surgery (squeamishness warning)

If it's only Saturday, has it really healed that much? I've had way bigger slices cut into the top of my finger and flapping open when faffing with a stanley knife (and yes, I was using it wrong and yes the thought 'If this slips I'm going to cut my fing....' did happen. Every single time)
I've always just stuck it back down with a plaster and tape to hold it in place and it's knitted back ok. Can you not take it back to unhealed (soak in water usually loosens any scab or healing tissue) pick it back to 'raw' and then stick it together with butterfly stitch or some even swear by a dab of superglue.
IANAD but all my fingers are still broadly speaking intact.

Seek a second opinion? Cosmetic or no, I'd have hoped that her being a young woman would factor.

All of those piercings look pretty awful TBH. If it were me I'd remove them all and have them redone with a needle rather than a gun (assuming that's what they were, the torn one certainly looks like it to me).

the thought ‘If this slips I’m going to cut my fing….’

Reported to the Mods, "I'm in this post and I don't like it."

It's a bit soon to be 'permanently' like that. I'd give the would a good clean (will sting) and then steri-strip it for a few days. I bet it will heal fine in time. Bit early to worry. Also don't fiddle with it and open it up.

Can't you just used a bejewelled staple ?

Guess who's not got kids or a medical background
🙃

I'm in the clean it back to raw edges and stick it back together camp.

Also in the who pierced an ear like that camp,the others don't look and better.

Cosmetic or no, I’d have hoped that her being a young woman would factor.

She's 17, would be covered if under 16.

Thanks for the various comments. I was away for the weekend, so haven't had chance to have a good look at it yet.

Superglue.

Srsly.

Lower 2 were done at H Samuel's jewelers, not sure where she went for the top one but think it was a local tattooing/piercing place

Just go to the minor injuries unit and get them to nice and neatly tape/stitch it up.

Our local one are excellent.

Just go to the minor injuries unit and get them to nice and neatly tape/stitch it up.

Mrs V took her to a&e on Sat (in hindsight, neither an accident nor an emergency, but we have no MIU) and they said they wouldn't do that as it was already healing up

Vigorously clean it to the point you are disrupting what has started to heal. a dab of superglue on the outer edge to join the edge of the 'flap'. This should hold the edges together but possibly add a steristrip or two and leave it to heal again. Steristrips on the back of the flap if she is worried about the appearance of them. Witht he flaps held together and slightly raw they should heal together seamlessly.

Also, the vigorous cleaning should hurt enough to remind her not to get poor piercings in future.

IANAD but I did this to myself at 16 when a girlfriend ripped out my nice new nipple piercing. No piercings for me since 🙂

and they said they wouldn’t do that as it was already healing up

Which IMO is the right answer as far as NHS involvement is concerned. (Unless it became infected).

It's a tiny nick, her ear is hardly the ear hanging off.

It’s a tiny nick, her ear is hardly the ear hanging off.

As above, probably worth a go with superglue before it fully heals up.

Totally forgot about the superglue !

I'd being supergluieng that for sure. Inad. Obviously

The docs have confirmed that it’s considered Cosmetic Surgery, and not covered for free by the NHS, which was a bit of a surprise.

I'm surprised you are surprised!

Seek a second opinion? Cosmetic or no, I’d have hoped that her being a young woman would factor.

I'm not sure what her gender (or indeed age given the OP's subsequent follow up) has to so with it.  Either its sufficiently aesthetically problematic for the individual involved and long term is a good investment from the NHS to fix now, or its not.

all the IANAD's do you mean not a doctor (which I think we can presume!) or not a dad?  Because whilst I personally can see how your advice could apply to DIY fixes, I'm not sure many 17 yr old girls are going to let you do that.  I don't think it would be *that* expensive to get it done privately if you go before it heals; perhaps a GP can help - they may even say "if it will bother you that much lets get the practice nurse to have a go with local anaesthetic and glue today".  [*that* is a relative term - I'm talking less than the cost of an STW "entry level" bike but considerably more than a BSO]

I had my ear pierced by a rugby stud which was sharp when someone was stood on my head and i pulled away which healed back together with butterfly stitches, so i would clean the wound and use them to pull the edges together.

@poly - private costs can be absolutely bonkers.

Last summer I was quoted £1200 for a steroid injection. A tiny bit of drugs, 30 seconds of jab followed by 10 minutes of chat (they're not interested in your carrot cake recipe they are just making sure you don't keel over)

The second opinion that may be worth seeking is from a proper piercings place (not Claires Accessories!).

I’m sure they’ve seen and sorted out many a bodged drunken piercing.

Either its sufficiently aesthetically problematic for the individual involved and long term is a good investment from the NHS to fix now, or its not.

I've got a relative with an very aggressive facial skin tumour who has had its removal cancelled twice, substantially increasing the chance of bone involvement. It's not right, but the NHS is shrugging about even necessary aesthetics in the young because it doesn't seem to have the capacity even for life and death maxillofacial stuff.

all the IANAD’s do you mean not a doctor (which I think we can presume!) or not a dad? 

I am not a doctor. I am a Dad though, to two 

Because whilst I personally can see how your advice could apply to DIY fixes, I’m not sure many 17 yr old girls are going to let you do that.  

IDK for sure but my daughter hates hospitals so I'm pretty sure clean it up yourself and then let's tape it back together with some OTC sterile wound closure tape would be very well received.

https://www.boots.com/boots-skin-closures-8-closures-10115222?cm_mmc=bmm-buk-google-ppc-_-PLAs_HeroCompare-_--_-PMax:+UK_Smart_Shopping_Healthcare_Other&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiAq4KuBhA6EiwArMAw1CdSgXipOJHCuWXu8HiIlYBqiUg-IAqysMgDFnlOICSdPEGMuS9VFBoCQhMQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

I’m not sure what her gender (or indeed age given the OP’s subsequent follow up) has to so with it. Either its sufficiently aesthetically problematic for the individual involved and long term is a good investment from the NHS to fix now, or its not.

The latter would rather depend on the former, no?

A minor facial disfigurement on a 50-year old bloke has to be a different proposition from that of a 17-year old lass, surely. At that age, a particularly custardy spot is a massive trauma.

Lower 2 were done at H Samuel’s jewelers

Yeah. Don't do that. I made a similar mistake, it took bastard ages to heal properly. The glorified staple guns that fire a stud through your ear are truly awful things.

I would go speak to your local good peircing studio, they will have seen those sorts of injuries loads of time and can probably offer advice on what to do now!

Just tell her endlessly that [s]chicks[/s] lads dig scars.

I would go speak to your local good peircing studio, they will have seen those sorts of injuries loads of time and can probably offer advice on what to do now!

This is great advice. Hadn't thought of that.

I would go speak to your local good peircing studio, they will have seen those sorts of injuries loads of time and can probably offer advice on what to do now!<br /><br />

Or a good local tattoo studio, the two tend to go together. My mum had a slice in her ear after a piercing got torn out, which may have been by me, when I was very little, or she snagged it and tore it. She never had anything done about it, she lived into her 80’s with it like it.
Honestly, if that’s the worst she suffers from a cosmetic procedure, she’ll be pretty lucky, really. Let it heal and get a better piercing further into the lobe, done by a professional.
I’m speaking from the point of view of someone who only likes a few piercings in earlobes, not a fan of them anywhere else, they make me feel a bit queasy. 🤷🏼

Edit- tell you what, I’m at my tattooist tomorrow morning, getting some of my old tattoos sharpened up - I’ll show Gemma the photo and ask her what she and the other girls suggest.

A minor facial disfigurement on a 50-year old bloke has to be a different proposition from that of a 17-year old lass, surely. At that age, a particularly custardy spot is a massive trauma.

yeah I think you’ve missed the point!   Why is the gender important? If a disfigurement is important to a 17 year old it probably matters to many boys as well as girls.  Similarly if it doesn’t matter to a 50 year old it probably doesn’t matter to a lot of 50 year old women either.  It’s surely a matter of the individual. 

Last summer I was quoted £1200 for a steroid injection. A tiny bit of drugs, 30 seconds of jab followed by 10 minutes of chat (they’re not interested in your carrot cake recipe they are just making sure you don’t keel over)

ultrasound guided injection? <br /><br />my wife’s private medical insurance sends her a copy of all the bills (they have an annual cap) - some things are surprisingly expensive, but some not so bad.  She has ultrasound guided injections which were in that ball park (although I think that included the consultation, MRI etc to decide on the plan).   She had a full day in the hospital with surgery on a foot and it cost about £5k.  I’m sure when I investigated it the cost of a vasectomy privately was well under £1000.  If it’s as simple as people here are saying then you have 30 mins of consultant time, a nurse, some steri strips etc.  my guess was this would be high hundreds.   if it’s not that simple to make a *good* job of it - do you want to make the surgeons job harder by adding a load of extra scar tissue?<br /><br />

It wasn't ultrasound guided - that was extra £1k

The quote was for Doctor walks up behind you and injects it in to 1 of the 3 or4 pathways to get the needle in to the affected area. Having had 2 of them on the NHS in the last 3 years it seemed very excessive

Why is the gender important?

Because Society. It's wrong, of course it is, it's a symptom of a much larger problem. But we systematically judge women on how they look. Do we suppose that most 17-year old boys are frequent flyers at the MAC counter? Do you remember when you bought your first lipstick? You wouldn't get a reporter commentating on a celebrity couple arriving at a film premiere describing her acting achievements before suddenly going off at a tangent about how dapper the bloke looks in his double-breasted Armani suit and designer cufflinks.

The pressure on young women to be physically perfect is huge. Whereas a lad could handwave a similar injury as "hey, chicks dig scars."

Similarly if it doesn’t matter to a 50 year old [bloke] it probably doesn’t matter to a lot of 50 year old women either.

I can't be arsed to google figures, but I would expect that the ratio of 50-year old men to 50-year old women getting cosmetic facelifts and botox is not 50:50.

I get where you're coming from, it shouldn't matter. But it does. This needs to change but we're a ways off that yet.

It wasn’t ultrasound guided – that was extra £1k

The quote was for Doctor walks up behind you and injects it in to 1 of the 3 or4 pathways to get the needle in to the affected area. Having had 2 of them on the NHS in the last 3 years it seemed very excessive

Oof..I'm assuming this was a shoulder injection? £1200 is pretty steep TBH..the few i've done privately, were only a few hundred quid.

I bang 'em out on the NHS all the time.

DrP

Yeah. Don’t do that. I made a similar mistake, it took bastard ages to heal properly. The glorified staple guns that fire a stud through your ear are truly awful things.

One of my two has just had ears pierced, ex took them to the local "staple gun" piercing place. Against my wishes.

Mainly as she didn't want to go into a tattoo shop with a child...

Yeah, that went as well as expected. Hopefully the swelling has gone down now.

Asked my tattooist about the piercing problem, she said the only practical solution is to get it stitched together, let it heal properly, then have a new piercing done further in. That obviously means a visit to a health professional at a clinic. Shouldn’t take more than a few minutes.

that went as well as expected.

Yeah.

The healing of mine, a simple regular earlobe piercing, from a stud gun was in the order of months. It was possibly in the order of years. I went through pints of TCP and it was perpetually inflamed. It's settled down now and I've even stretched it out a couple of gauges but it took a long time to get to that point.

Stud guns are horrible bloody things, I'm not generally one for banning things but they should be banned. A needle pierces, a gun tears. There's no age limit on ear piercing and no regulation I'm aware of to stop any old any nobber from picking up Rexel's finest and starting punching holes in children.

You want holes in your face (or your offspring's face) then fair play, but please go to a professional piercer.

@DrP - yep for a shoulder.

Of course, once it’s healed, there’s always the old classic diy using an ice cube and a needle stuck in a cork…😖

Because Society. It’s wrong, of course it is, it’s a symptom of a much larger problem.

I think this a really out of date outlook, or even just your own personal outlook. We live in the Instagram age and young lads are very concerned about their looks and if anything socity is not telling such lads that it's wrong and doesn't matter. But even then, when I was a young lad, which was a very long time ago before social media,  I knew someone who was really upset about their nose which had a bump due to being broken.  I certainly surprised you think the NHS is going to base it's procedures on what you may or may not think society thinks. It would be discrimination and they'd only treat if it was causing them long term stress.

Medical procedures cost money. The trouble is everyone sees the NHS as free and complain about private medical care costs. The NHS is not free, but it was setup as free to use medical care because people who couldn't afford it were not getting life saving treatment.

Sorry this doesn't help the OP, but I think the advice to seek further advice and find the costs of a private procedure is good. I personally wouldn't carry out medical procedures on my offspring based on advice gained from the internet.

I don't disagree with any of that. Of course teens are concerned about image regardless of gender. In high school I was part of a small circle of deeply unpopular nerds, and even then wearing the wrong trainers mattered. I don't mean to devalue that.

But you've answered your own question, "they’d only treat if it was causing them long term stress." Would a nick out of an earlobe cause the same long-term stress for boys and girls equally?

This tangential line of discussion came about because I suggested that the OP's daughter being a young woman should be taken into consideration. Women are judged by their looks way more than men are. Am I wrong?

The NHS is not free, but it was setup as free

Yes and no. From its inception, the NHS was (and still is) free at point of use. We pay for it via various forms of taxation. I'm not aware that anything has changed here (other than attitudes).

Because Society. It’s wrong, of course it is, it’s a symptom of a much larger problem. But we systematically judge women on how they look.

But you are part of the problem by assuming that the NHS should treat women/girls differently on aesthetics than men/boys.  That's reinforcing the societal bias.  My opinion having a 20 yr old son and 15 yr old daughter is that you are out of date on the importance of image to some boys, and indeed the insignificance of image to some girls.

All I wanted you to do was pause, and wonder why you had suggested the doctor should be more concerned because it was a girl.  Its clear that whilst you recognise societal bias as the issue you haven't considered whether comments like yours contribute to that problem.

Imagine if the Dr at A&E had said "its not like she's that pretty anyway" or indeed "we should get you to plastics this afternoon as you could be a model" - we'd rightly be outraged.  The long term issue to the NHS will be how she feels about it as an individual, some of that might be how society views her, but some of it is definitely how she sees herself.

I agree with what Poly is saying. I think you have a fixed view of what's an issue of boys/men and what's an issue of girls/women and you think that's society. I think people and society is much more complex than the view you are presenting.

Would a nick out of an earlobe cause the same long-term stress for boys and girls equally?

Yes, it might well do. I gave an example in my previous answer. I'll give another - I worked with a lad that got so upset about a red patch on his face that he was willing to spend thousands of pounds on cosmetic treatment to remove it. People are different.

Women are judged by their looks way more than men are. Am I wrong?

Yes, I believe you are wrong. Men and women are judged on looks but it maybe true that societies judgement is on differnet criteria. How that judgement affects individuals is different but I don't believe it's based on gender like you are suggesting, but on an individuals personality.

Our views of society are different as we're differnet people with different experiences of society. We are both male (presumably), but may well move in different circles, so our views of "society" are different and we are both therefore correct. But from a treatment point of view, the NHS have to take in account all those differening views and cannot draw lines on gender, race, their own class/society views. And they have to take in account cost.

Yes and no. From its inception, the NHS was (and still is) free at point of use. We pay for it via various forms of taxation. I’m not aware that anything has changed here (other than attitudes).

The treatments that the NHS provide has expanded and expanded and as you say, attitudes what it should be providing have greatly increased. To the point that we want minor cosmetic issues, or physio for minor physical conditions or whatever provided by the NHS.

you are part of the problem by assuming that the NHS should treat women/girls differently on aesthetics than men/boys. That’s reinforcing the societal bias.

A good point.

Really I wasn't talking about my view but theirs. I was suggesting that young women might be more concerned about physical beauty whereas young men might be more concerned about image. I could well be wrong, it is at best a rash generalisation. "Young" is the key factor here.

Yes, I believe you are wrong. Men and women are judged on looks but it maybe true that societies judgement is on differnet criteria. How that judgement affects individuals is different but I don’t believe it’s based on gender like you are suggesting, but on an individuals personality.

I'm less convinced that this is the case, for reasons as mentioned. I don't believe that there is parity here, as evidenced by magazines like Hello and the commentary on any red carpet event you care to mention. How the woman looks is the first thing discussed and her achievements are secondary assuming they get mentioned at all; with the man the priorities are reversed.

Radical idea, anyone know any women we could ask?

Radical idea, anyone know any women we could ask?

Yes, I know one, who is my wife, and she says she totally judges men on their looks.

and she says she totally judges men on their looks.

Glad they all don't, or i'd have been single all my life...

Radical idea, anyone know any women we could ask?

I discuss feminism and gender politics all the time with my wife.  Most of what I say is informed by her viewpoint and also that of my mother.  I wonder why you assume that none of us do this and our viewpoints are all from ignorance? 😉

The topic seems to have undergone a significant drift as to the subject at hand, which, IIRC, was a rather painful looking tear in a young lady’s earlobe.
My suggestion, following a conversation with someone who has experience in the subject, was to go to a clinic or even better a minor injuries unit at the local hospital and have someone deal with it.

Have any steps been taken to sort out the problem? This is not from the point of view of cosmetic appearance, rather about getting a painful looking injury dealt with in such a way that once healing has happened, she can get a new piercing done by an experienced professional.

Men and women are judged on looks but it maybe true that societies judgement is on differnet criteria.

I've just spent two days sitting in a room with cosmetics R&D teams, with ethnographers and anthropologists and behavioural psychologists. That group knows, based on multiple data sources, that women are significantly more judged, by society, on adherence to a "beauty ideal" than men. It's not even close.

But whether the OP's daughter's issue is good use of NHS resources , that is a different conversation

Asking advice from the specialist piercing studio sounds best option

Have any steps been taken to sort out the problem?

Thanks for asking.

NHS (both A&E and our Dr) have said they won't do anything for it.  We have no local MIU, so that's not an option.

I've spoken to a local private place, which quoted around £800 to repair it (£155 just to look at it!).

From talking to her about it, she's def not keen on the suggestion of reopening it and sticking it together!

She says that it doesn't hurt at all, and as it's barely visible unless you're looking for it she's happy to leave it as it is.

The thing she's most bothered about is that it means her 2 remaining piercings are now spaced further apart than she'd prefer <insert eye-roll emoji>.  I'm wondering about getting a clip-on ear-cuff for her, or something similar to fill the gap and hide the split (once-it's had chance to properly heal - obvs).

She likes the suggestion of asking the piercing place where she got the 3rd one done (they'd commented on the other being low, when the 3rd was done), but obviously that means a teenager making an effort, and going out of their way, so it may never happen...

She says that it doesn’t hurt at all, and as it’s barely visible unless you’re looking for it she’s happy to leave it as it is.

I was going to suggest getting another piercing slightly higher. A dangly earring would then mostly cover the cut if she's self-conscious about it.

It does rather sound like you're more concerned than she is, however. 😁

I was going to suggest getting another piercing slightly higher

She's already said she'd like to do that, I think once it's had chance to settle down that may happen.

It does rather sound like you’re more concerned than she is, however. 😁

Roles have significantly reversed there 😀  On Sat it was the end of the world for her, whereas I was "it's just a nick", now she couldn't care less, and I'm wanting to make sure she's happy longer-term with however it's left...

A couple of years back, thanks to a bottle, my ear was split (back of ear about 1cm cut all the way through). I had that stitched back (A&E wouldn't do it as didn't think they had the skill but got me a spot in a different hospital ENT department for a couple of hours later). They did a good job but it's certainly noticeable (the scar tissue bulges quite a bit), doesn't bother me but probably would if I was in my youth. So yeah if the appearance matters I wouldn't try and bodge it with re-cutting and gluing/stitching as IME the scar tissue will still be noticeable (although where my cut was it's going through the cartilage etc. so might have healed worse than it would on an ear lobe).