punishment passes -...
 

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punishment passes - its so tempting to.........

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Scare some ruddy tourists!

On my bike I have crossed Edinburgh 3 times this week.  Town is heaving with festival goers and they just wander everywhere.  6 hard stops and two full blown emergency stops to avoid hitting them plus gawd alone knows how many times I had to shout to stop them from wandering into my path.  Im not riding in the gutter, I'm riding legally and they just wander around oblivious in the road and on the cycleways.

Its so tempting to just whizz past an inch from their elbows and give 'em a good scare 🙂  I sorta see why car drivers do it to cyclists.

Maybe I should start behaving like a Amsterdam cyclist 🙂


 
Posted : 23/08/2024 4:01 pm
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The sooner you buy that cottage out in the countryside, the better.

LoLz,etc,etc 🙂


 
Posted : 23/08/2024 4:05 pm
scotroutes, leffeboy, convert and 11 people reacted
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Charlie Alliston


 
Posted : 23/08/2024 4:05 pm
ayjaydoubleyou, tjagain, Flaperon and 3 people reacted
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#TJdissnaerideafixie


 
Posted : 23/08/2024 4:08 pm
ayjaydoubleyou, leffeboy, ayjaydoubleyou and 1 people reacted
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It's a general tourist factor everywhere I think.... wandering about in their own world forgetting that these are actually roads they're on. Add headphones to the mix for the ultimate pedestrian zombie.


 
Posted : 23/08/2024 4:10 pm
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I knew it was you on Monday you bastard!


 
Posted : 23/08/2024 4:34 pm
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Stopping over tomorrow evening on the way back from the highlands. I'll keep an eye out for you TJ. I was hoping it was all quietened down a bit by the time we get there but unlikely by the sound of it.. Staying central at my wife's cousins so hope parking will be okay..

A bit OT but, TJ how risky would it be to park for the night with 4 bikes on the bike rack (Locked obvs). Water of Leith area, if that matters? Not silly expensive eBikes just some average steel HT's and an old GT..

And on topic, yes pedestrians on cycle paths oblivious to other users. very frustrating. We have a boot camp group in Bristol that take over the downs in one area, total disregard for anyone else. I am tempted with a a close pass on the odd occasion..


 
Posted : 23/08/2024 4:50 pm
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I wouldn't. 🙁

Leave the bikes oot on show.


 
Posted : 23/08/2024 4:56 pm
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Slow down?


 
Posted : 23/08/2024 5:05 pm
doomanic, andy4d, scotroutes and 21 people reacted
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You don't see the similarity of cars doing the same to cyclists. Is such behaviour the responsible grown up thing to do.


 
Posted : 23/08/2024 5:10 pm
pondo, scotroutes, jimmy748 and 9 people reacted
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Get a bell. And try to remember the hierarchy of vulnerability, you grumpy git!


 
Posted : 23/08/2024 5:12 pm
susepic, andy4d, pondo and 17 people reacted
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Slow down?

This.


 
Posted : 23/08/2024 5:26 pm
widdop, scotroutes, MoreCashThanDash and 3 people reacted
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But you've seen them, right?


 
Posted : 23/08/2024 5:30 pm
scotroutes, MoreCashThanDash, scotroutes and 1 people reacted
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Slow down?

This.

Have to admit I've done this quite a few times in the past. Not proud of it. After this

Charlie Alliston

I grew up, got a heavy, slow bike with a bell and stopped being a d***.

I do occasionally engage in some controlled locking of the rear wheel when it's not really necessary... The sound often penetrates where a bell doesn't.


 
Posted : 23/08/2024 5:41 pm
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Thread next week: 'Why I should have worn a helmet while trying to punishment pass a tourist!'


 
Posted : 23/08/2024 5:48 pm
doomanic, convert, doomanic and 1 people reacted
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A bit OT but, TJ how risky would it be to park for the night with 4 bikes on the bike rack (Locked obvs). Water of Leith area, if that matters? Not silly expensive eBikes just some average steel HT’s and an old GT..

Pretty risky unless you have good locks and more than one and even then I would feel twitchy


 
Posted : 23/08/2024 5:49 pm
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Urban bike thieves don't always know what they're looking at. The real question is 'how much would losing my bikes ruin my holiday, even if they're fairly cheap ones?'


 
Posted : 23/08/2024 5:56 pm
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Pretty much anywhere in Edinburgh just put them in the car, should be loads of room without the people in it, not worth the risk


 
Posted : 23/08/2024 5:57 pm
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Slow down?

Most of it I was watching and had slowed sometimes to walking pace hence I didn't hit them. One was where I clearly had right of way and she stepped right into my path off a kerb without warning  Downhill but I wasn't going stupid fast because of all the festival lovies 🙂 so I did manage not to hit anyone tho one came close

Get a bell.

This bike doesn't have a bell (but the rest do) but I'm not sure if a polite ping would have made much difference given the environment.  a big loud "dring drging" might but I do find that a bit rude Dutch style 🙂

And try to remember the hierarchy of vulnerability, you grumpy git!

So maybe a bit of this but arrgghhh they drive me potty.  I have been reflecting 🙂 and I didn't actually do it to any of them


 
Posted : 23/08/2024 6:00 pm
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It's festival time, shouldn't you have an airhorn that plays 'La Cucharacha' or something similarly wacky?


 
Posted : 23/08/2024 6:10 pm
tjagain, roadworrier, roadworrier and 1 people reacted
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Its so tempting to just whizz past an inch from their elbows and give ’em a good scare 🙂  I sorta see why car drivers do it to cyclists.

I look forward to your thread titled: 'Single Defendant Track World Can anyone recommend me a good defence barrister in Edinburgh?'

You'd be an unpredicted movement away from ploughing into someone. As above, slow down, be patient, understand that people on holiday are more interested in taking in their novel surroundings than watching out for cyclists.  Be nice 🙂

Oh, and maybe do as I do here in the Peak District and simply be grateful to be living somewhere that other people actually want to visit.


 
Posted : 23/08/2024 6:10 pm
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get a timberbell... (or two)


 
Posted : 23/08/2024 6:12 pm
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They don't pay road tax y'know.


 
Posted : 23/08/2024 6:14 pm
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"excuse me"

"Excuse Me"

"EXCUSE ME"

"EXCUSE ME!"

Turns around startled and takes out ear-buds

"Ah, you scared me!"


 
Posted : 23/08/2024 6:21 pm
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You don’t see the similarity of cars doing the same to cyclists.

Of course I do. Sort of the point of the whole post hence "punishment pass" and "I sorta see why car drivers do it to cyclists"

🙂

I understand the temptation to be a dick and scare folk.  I try not to actually do it tho


 
Posted : 23/08/2024 6:25 pm
kelvin and kelvin reacted
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I didn't actually do it BWD.


 
Posted : 23/08/2024 6:28 pm
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Get some metal scythes on your bike wheels, that'll cut those pesky pedestrians down to size.


 
Posted : 23/08/2024 6:47 pm
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Get one of those huuuuugely noisy electric horns....


 
Posted : 23/08/2024 6:48 pm
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“excuse me”

“Excuse Me”

“EXCUSE ME”

“EXCUSE ME!”

Turns around startled and takes out ear-buds

“Ah, you scared me!”

Yup! Bell as well as calling out and the same response.

Then there's that added to the uncontrolled  dogs or ones on 10m leads.   Had someone the other day hear my bell and tell me his dog (20m further on) won't hear it as it's deaf ?


 
Posted : 23/08/2024 6:48 pm
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A bit OT but, TJ how risky would it be to park for the night with 4 bikes on the bike rack (Locked obvs). Water of Leith area, if that matters? Not silly expensive eBikes just some average steel HT’s and an old GT..

Ex Leith resident here.....no, I wouldn't do that. Wouldn't leave them in the car either.


 
Posted : 23/08/2024 7:52 pm
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Cambridge is a nightmare, constant belly ringing gets nowhere. I usually punish them with a cheerily shouted ding-a-ling and a skid. While muttering under my breath...


 
Posted : 23/08/2024 9:12 pm
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Remember my Cambridge days - there was a day in the spring/ early summer when they all just suddenly appeared. Just because the street is cobbled, doesn’t mean it’s not a street open to all traffic. (And with well defined wide raised pavements on both sides)


 
Posted : 23/08/2024 9:19 pm
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Maybe the council will spend the money from the forthcoming tourist tax on buying cattle prods for any residents that have navigate the city centre during the Festival?


 
Posted : 23/08/2024 10:13 pm
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/arts-entertainment/edinburgh-fringe-kicks-off-annual-tosspot-migration-200908061961

St Andrews is full of slack jawed golf tossers at the moment thanks to the AIG women's open. They'll be gone by Monday though.


 
Posted : 23/08/2024 10:40 pm
 LAT
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they just wander around oblivious in the road and on the cycleways.

that’s what it’s like when you live in a holiday hot spot that is also a real town.  Visitors to whistler manage to end up driving on the cycle paths


 
Posted : 24/08/2024 1:34 am
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Slow down?
This.

How fast would you suggest? I’ve been knocked off my bike at walking speed, having rung my bell several times, by someone walking along staring at her phone, then just walking in front of me as I got level with her! The compensation was she dropped her phone as she fell on top of me and smashed it. She never said a word the whole time, just turned around and walked away.

“excuse me”

“Excuse Me”

“EXCUSE ME”

“EXCUSE ME!”

Turns around startled and takes out ear-buds

“Ah, you scared me!”
Yup! Bell as well as calling out and the same response.

Then there’s that added to the uncontrolled dogs or ones on 10m leads. Had someone the other day hear my bell and tell me his dog (20m further on) won’t hear it as it’s deaf ?

*sigh* - That could be me ten-fifteen years ago riding the Sustrans path along the Kennet & Avon Canal. There’s a certain irony in that Cyclebag, as Sustrans was twenty - thirty years ago restored the towpath for cyclists from Bath east towards Devizes having already done the Bristol - Bath railway line, and then the pedestrians demanded cyclists be banned from using *their* path!
As well as a bell I also carried a Fox40 sports whistle, allegedly the loudest whistle on the market designed for referees in the huge American sports domes, and still people seemed not to hear it!
I had people get cross because I rang a bell, “because it’s rude”, I’ve had others complain because I called out “excuse me”, ‘cos I should be using a bell…

One bloke with a dog on a lead in front of me, on a busy stretch coming into Bradford-on-Avon, who I’d been following at walking speed because it was so busy, suddenly let his dog run in front of me as I started to pass having rung my bell, causing me to grab my brakes and stop doing a small skid on the lose gravel told me I was going too fast! My answer to that was that I’d been following him for the last hundred feet or so at the same speed he was going at, he should be controlling his bloody dog because of all the other people, dogs, children, and cyclists.

To which he had no answer.

I haven’t ridden the K&A for years, I doubt very much it’s got better, considering the number of people in Bath a couple of days ago who would look straight at me then walk directly across in front of me, in one case almost barging into me, or else would be walking towards me, phone in hand, staring in a completely different direction with no regard to anyone else. Many are tourists and don’t consider that they should be looking out for others, but it seems to be a global problem, like those defacing monuments, killing themselves taking selfies, dissolving themselves walking into hot acid springs in Yellowstone Park…
And breathe.


 
Posted : 24/08/2024 3:07 am
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how risky would it be to park for the night with 4 bikes on the bike rack (Locked obvs)

100% risky.

I wouldn't do that anywhere anyone could see bikes, but absolutely not anywhere in a city.

I still lock my bike places people can't jump on the wheels. I moved from Edinburgh to Nottingham for 20 years and my mates take the piss out of me for locking my bike up high.

Every time I go home to see my folks I see bikes with bent wheels, missing bits, sad frames d locked that everything has been stopped from.


 
Posted : 24/08/2024 7:46 am
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I didn’t actually do it BWD

Yes I know that, but the urge is plainly present...

A halfway house that'll ease the frustration might be to ride with a long-handled - preferably pink - feather duster. That way you can playfully tickle unsuspecting pedestrians as you pass, while still keeping a safe distance. It'll maybe satisfy your 'punishment pass' urges, without risking any sort of actual collision?

I look forward to reading the 'Edinburgh Tickler Rides Again' headlines in due course.

You can thank me later 🙂


 
Posted : 24/08/2024 7:46 am
fasthaggis, zbonty, fasthaggis and 1 people reacted
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ride with a long-handled – preferably pink – feather duster. That way you can playfully tickle unsuspecting pedestrians as you pass

(Ken Dodd voice) "What a lovely day to tickle a tourist"


 
Posted : 24/08/2024 7:51 am
tjagain, fasthaggis, MoreCashThanDash and 3 people reacted
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A halfway house that’ll ease the frustration might be to ride with a long-handled – preferably pink – feather duster. That way you can playfully tickle unsuspecting pedestrians as you pass,

Pretty sure you could get an Arts Council grant if you did as a Fringe event!


 
Posted : 24/08/2024 8:30 am
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Pretty sure you could get an Arts Council grant if you did as a Fringe event!

'have you been tickled ' t shirts and merch


 
Posted : 24/08/2024 8:33 am
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‘have you been tickled ‘ t shirts and merch

Are you free next August, we could make this work....


 
Posted : 24/08/2024 8:35 am
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Are you free next August, we could make this work….

Ahhh...too bad I moved away from Leith


 
Posted : 24/08/2024 8:39 am
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Re: question about locking bikes in Leith.

One of my friends (gormless) was cycling back from the gym a couple years ago, and popped into a cafe on the way back, just leaning his bike against the cafe, unlocked, at the Shore.

The idiot forgot about his bike and just walked the rest of the way home with his cake or whatever. Wasn't until 2 days later it appeared on Facebook with a "does anyone own this bike? It's been blocking the entrance the Cafe for two days!".

So you never know with Leith bike thieves.


 
Posted : 26/08/2024 11:25 am
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Probably thought it was a honeytrap.

Or belonged to a scaffolder


 
Posted : 26/08/2024 11:48 am
 poly
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Maybe I should start behaving like a Amsterdam cyclist 🙂

I've been to Amsterdam - what did I miss?

I think its good that you acknowledge the problem that other road users give you temptation to harm or alarm them, and good that you don't actually BUT its worrying that even although you've probably been on the receiving end at some point it still crosses your mind, not just enough to be annoyed at the time but enough to come and type it in to a forum - much like an angry car driver saying "sometimes I feel tempted to show them who has right of way".

(FWIW the concept of "right of way" is a dangerous one - it assumes the other party has seen you, had the same risk perception as you, is aware of and interprets the rules the same way as you).

Finally, shouting "Excuse me" is not necessarily the best way to get attention from people in different languages, cultures etc - it sounds like you are asking permission, or making an appology.  "Danger" seems to be far more universal - if it doesn't merit that, its probably like hooting the horn in a car unnecessarily - just an act of aggression.


 
Posted : 26/08/2024 12:03 pm
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On a lighter note..

If

Have you been

Tickled

By TJ

?

T shirts and merchandise were available* ,

I truly believe he could afford that cottage ,much much sooner. 🙂

@a fair price.


 
Posted : 26/08/2024 12:23 pm
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I think its good that you acknowledge the problem that other road users give you temptation to harm or alarm them, and good that you don’t actually BUT its worrying that even although you’ve probably been on the receiving end at some point it still crosses your mind, not just enough to be annoyed at the time but enough to come and type it in to a forum – much like an angry car driver saying “sometimes I feel tempted to show them who has right of way”.

While I agree with some what you are saying, I think you need to appreciate the complete chaos that the Festival brings to Edinburgh & the behaviour of the tourists generally. How about people taking photos of Fettes standing 9 abreast across the road, completely oblivious to the traffic. It shouldn't be the case that a cyclist (me) won't take a bike into the centre of town just because the morons who attend the Festival appear to believe that they own the place. Mass tourism brings an awful lot of downsides, one of which is the exreme selfishness & lack of consideration a crowd can generate.


 
Posted : 26/08/2024 12:37 pm
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Get a big old knobbly back tyre and pull the noisiest nearest skid you dare. You'll probably be able to ride straight under them, the height they jump.


 
Posted : 26/08/2024 1:05 pm
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One bloke with a dog on a lead in front of me... suddenly let his dog run in front of me as I started to pass

Out on the towpath one time.  Some woman and her pooch up ahead.  They'd seen / heard me riding up and stopped for me, dog on one side of the path and her on the other, excellent.

When I was just about to pass between them at maybe jogging pace she calls the dog, "come on!"  The hound dutifully leaps across to her when I was right on top of them, I grabbed a handful of brake and stood the bike on its nose, stopped short of the dog by about two inches.  WTAF?  How I didn't carve it in half I have no idea.  I looked at her and she was utterly oblivious.

People, man.


 
Posted : 26/08/2024 1:56 pm
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I just let rip in Oxford. If a bell and a Hope freehub don't do it then "move you f*** *" usually does. Their children also get their vocabulary enhanced.


 
Posted : 26/08/2024 8:28 pm
 poly
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@imnotverygood - I’m local I know exactly the chaos the festival brings.  I’m not saying don’t bring your bike - but have your wits about you and slow down.  


 
Posted : 26/08/2024 8:45 pm

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