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In our office WC, there are five traps (cubicles for southern jessies).
When I walked in for a no. 1, one trap was in use, leaving four vacant. As I was mid-stream, somebody came into the bogs and I heard the sound of a second trap being occupied. This [s]deviant[/s] person had chosen the trap RIGHT NEXT to the one already occupied! I think this is weird. Surely it's normal, where possible to choose to have a buffer zone betwixt yourself and the next customer?
If you were on a bus and eight double seats were empty, you'd be a tad disturbed if somebody boarded and sat right next to you. I would be anyway.
Your thoughts ladies and gentlemen.
Buffer zone etiquette for urinals, not so much for cubicles IMO
In our office WC, there are five traps (cubicles for southern jessies).
Us Southern Jessies don't care if someone is next to us or not. You sound a bit 'precious' for a Northerner...... 😉
Are you bothered about splash back as he plops one out, or that he might pee on the floor thus wetting your shoes?
Or is it too close for comfort and he might be able to hear you having a w@nk 🙂
Maybe it was a personal vendetta. He may have seen you go in there, and had been saving up a reet proper dreadnought for days.
Do you suffer from poo envy?
never ever given it any thought
Another Southern Jessie here. I would take the first available cubicle. Anything else is a bit weird.
get an office with ensuite bathroom.
or, dont be a delicate princess
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Is there a gloryhole?
Do you suffer from poo envy?
No. Hand on arse.
Some people here at work are obviosuly so proud of their "work" that they leave it in the pan like a brown exhibit.
There was one a few weeks back that was the same size and shape as a Gregg's pasty.
That was a steak bake ^^^
maybe it was a partially digested jumbo sausage roll?
With some of the people at our place I feel uncomfortable knowing that they are taking a crap in the same postcode let alone shoulder to shoulder separated only by 18mm of avocado formica coated chip board.
OP have you nothing better to do in your small world of IT and envelope opening than discuss toilet use?
I like that I never have to use work bogs, apart from weeing.
[i]OP have you nothing better to do in your small world of IT and envelope opening than discuss toilet use?[/i]
[url= http://www.singletrackworld.com/forum/profile/derek_starship ]You're bleedin kiddin mate![/url]
Harry - I measured it too - 18mm. It's not enough. I'd like a reactor containment barrier between me and a colleague taking a shizzle.
(we work at the same place BTW)
DezB - Member
I like that I never have to use work bogs, apart from weeing.
Free bog paper innit. I've held on to one for half a lap of the M60 before now.
OP have you nothing better to do in your small world of IT and envelope opening than discuss toilet use?
I don't work in IT and I'm just having a chuckle. Do you really think I am being serious 😯
Swept.
I've held on to one for half a lap of the M60 before now.
Wouldn't you have been better throwing it out of the window?
Maybe near the sewage works near Barton Bridge? Cut out the middle man
Wouldn't you have been better throwing it out of the window?
"Bleedin' size o' that fly."
I'd have thought any distance/number of cubicles from The Starship would result in the same awesome sound effects:
[url= http://www.singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/is-this-weird-toilet-stw-contributor-and-sound-effect-content ]http://www.singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/is-this-weird-toilet-stw-contributor-and-sound-effect-content[/url]
How did you get on/away with it Derek? 😀
I've held on to one for half a lap of the M60 before now.
Are you a baker? (Brown hands joke...)
Whats the done thing if the outer two of a bank of four are in use... which one do you use...?
I have been known to exit, cruise at a safe distance then try re-entry when someone exits. Trouble is, cruising with a full payload can be risky.
Cloth surfing!
Ours has three traps. The two on the outside have broken seats leading to randomly timed, alarming shifts in position.
If someone takes one of these outside ones I always take the middle, non ambushing, cubicle. Am I weird?
get in there, bomb the **** out of/ roost the pan, depending on my constitution at the time.
leave.
Every man for himself when it comes to No. 2's.
Slashing, different matter. pick the pan at the furthest point away from anyone else. no eye contact. no talking. Although this rule seems to go out the window when you are out on the trail.
What gets me is when people leave the pan in a bad way. that is just not on.
Our facility has only one crapper per bathroom, so when entering to void one's bowels, and seeing a colleague emerge, do you go right in after him, or pretend you just went in for a wee, use a urinal, and go to a different bathroom to avoid the pungent odours of a recent session ?
Mmm warm saddle 😉
[url= http://gamescene.com/The_Urinal_Game_game.html ]The Urinal Game[/url] addresses this issue perfectly.
The bigger question is,
What are you doing using a trap for a wazz, you great ponce?
Every man for himself when it comes to No. 2's.
*nods*
What are you doing using a trap for a wazz, you great ponce?
+1
There's a sign up in one of our bogs:-
"Over the course of several visits, the cleaners believe someone using these facilities to have a serious medical complaint. If you feel in need of help or advice please contact <blah blah>"
Hmmm,
There is scientific evidence to suggest never taking the first or last trap in the row as these are statistically more popular. Hence entering one of those increases the chance of feeling another mans butt warmth on the seat, or breathing their farts.
But what bothers me more is the fad for using a urinal BUT unbuckling your belt and opening your trousers rather than just slipping the hose out through the zipper. That is just wrong (and also means you have to stand stupidly to stop your strides falling round your ankles).
But, back to the traps - thankfully at our place they are floor to cieling walls sono chance of cross contamination. I hate poohing in public (clearly in public conveniences, not in the town square) - but I feel relatively safe in our work bogs.
maybe that person was in the process of 'touching cloth' so couldn't risk further strides to the further cubicles!!
So chose the closest trap to drop their payload 😯
If it was me I would just want to make it to a pan safely 😉
I was peeing at the stone not in a trap. I'm no ghey.
I was peeing at the stone not in a trap. I'm no ghey.
On a dropping the kids off mission myself.....
Back soon.
Valleydaddy could have a point there.
IIRC it was very much lock-buckle-oooof-sploosh.
Like the bombing of Port Stanley runway?
There is scientific evidence to suggest never taking the first or last trap in the row as these are statistically more popular. Hence entering one of those increases the chance of feeling another mans butt warmth on the seat, or breathing their farts.
[useless fact]Actually there's scientific evidence that the first cubicle is the cleanest due to everybody avoiding it because they think it's the most popular and hence the most germ ridden.[/useless fact]
I hate it when people look over thce cubicle wall at you when mid session. This happened to me once.
I always wonder about the dirty bar stewards that leave shrapnel everywhere. Do they do this at home?
Northerners = Out House
Everyone else = Cubicle
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Argh! My teeth hurt just watching that!
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Bullheart WTF have they got to do when at work logging etiquette?
It concerns me when they choose the trap next to you then proceed to make noises like a tug of war team. Liking your style bullheart. That first one makes me feel bad.
Few years ago, I was sat quietly having a [s]powernap[/s] dump, when the trap next to me came into use. Heard a couple of splashes, the sound of paper being unfolded, then the unexpected sound of a packet of crisps being opened and munched on.
Nice.
And you know it was crisps because ... ?
It could have been (a) Crunchie.
Perhaps he passed the bag under the door.
Perhaps he passed the bag under the door.
True. On reflection, it would have been rude not to.
In my office you have to play Poo Roulette with Barry the Poo, it's a little like Russian Roulette allow me to explain.
Barry the Poo is the big fat post clerk/messenger who seems to spend an enormous amount of time in the toilet, hence his name.
Sometimes you walk into the toilet and the Poo Man is in there again but he's washing his hands and all of the five traps are free!!
Which trap has Barry been using this time??
Which has the warm seat?
Ro5ey - Barry the Poo? That's fantastic.
And what a great game - Russian Poolette!
Or the trap next to you becomes occupied and then his phone rings and he begins a conversation. That's very, very wrong.
There's nothing wrong with talking on the phone while evacuating the children.
I've had many a conference call whilst sitting on the throne. Mind you - I wouldn't do that in a public/work bog, only if I was working at home.
Jesus. Just sat on a hot toilet seat. Hot I tell you. Bastards.
I hope you didn't see Barry coming out.
"Crowning". I've heard pregnant females can enter a phase called "Crowning". Is this the same as "touching cloth" ?
turtles head, innit
Harry_the_Spider - MemberA colleague of mine and fellow STW forum botherer, whose name rhymes with EricStarship, sits in the traps in the work’s toilets waiting for somebody in an adjacent stall to fart. When they do he plays klaxon sound effects on his i-phone.
fk me, i'm laffin so much it hurtz an i cannae see fur the tearz
On the right side of the meadow a large common latrine has been built, a
roofed and durable construction. But that is for recruits who as yet have not
learned how to make the most of whatever comes their way. We want something
better.Scattered about everywhere there are separate, individual boxes for the same
purpose. They are square, neat boxes with wooden sides all round, and have
unimpeachably satisfactory seats. On the sides are hand grips enabling one to shift
them about.We move three together in a ring and sit down comfortably. And it will be two hours before we get up again.
All Quiet on the Western Front, Erich Maria Remarque
Harry_the_Spider - Member
A colleague of mine and fellow STW forum botherer, whose name rhymes with EricStarship, sits in the traps in the work’s toilets waiting for somebody in an adjacent stall to fart. When they do he plays klaxon sound effects on his i-phone.
😆
fk me, i'm laffin so much it hurtz an i cannae see fur the tearz
Me too. 😀
Billy Connolly once did a sketch about overhearing people having sex, and how "unlike you" other people do it.
I've often thought that the same applies to people in adjacent traps.
I believe the sequence of nomenclature (or levels of desperation if you've yet to find a vacant trap) is: crowning, then touching cloth, then Teddy's arm (or Bungle's finger), before the final point of no return...
Bungle's finger
😆
I'm nicking that one!
Yesteday morning, having just started to deposit my load in the single cubicle staff toilet. THe door burst open and the little troll fella we have as a technician burst in and shouted, my name, followed by the boss is on the phone.
I said I was having my morning crap, and would call her back, no he said it's important.
I had to squeeze, pinch and wipe. Ruined my start to the day.
It also reset my poo clock, so I didn't need to go again until I was part way through a lesson.