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So my wife has just come back from a trauma specialist and has been diagnosed with PTSD due to a traumatic birth last year. We'd believed it was post-natal depression, but the specialist said this is common, as GPs & Health Visitors tend to just diagnose PTSD as PND. Her anxiety and symptoms are starting to heighten, as it is coming up to our daughters first birthday next week. Which is what the specialist said will happen. She has come home and says she feels as though she has been hit by a brick, suffice to say I am going to take the rest of the day off and look after the little one.
Just wondered if any STWers have experienced similar or have any advice on how to support, what we/I can do? I've looked at Mind and NHS site. What has helped for you or partner?
Thanks in advance.
Hi, no personal experience, but as an occ health nurse have had couple staff with it. The support available, once correct diagnosis, is good amd its pretty well understood. Both i can recall had good recovery, won't lie, it took time but is possible.
As to what you can do, support her, probably learn to accept some of the stuff thrown at you isn't you and try to let it pass. That's the hard bit for you, trying keep in your mind that while you're the target you a likely not the cause of anger/ feelings.
And also don't forget to look after yourself too, if you run self into the ground will be no use to wife or little one.
Getting professional help is the only thing that has worked for my partner. I empathise with her situation, but as neither she nor I truly understand it, there's very little that I can do to help. The simplest things can cause anxiety and it's not a logical progression which makes it very difficult to plan for/around.
Do your best, try to help (but don't overhelp, if that makes sense? - I'm an engineer so problems need solutions and that's what I'm here for, but not in this case), try and get her to share what she's feeling, but don't push if she can't/won't explain. That's what the professionals are for.
My wife is going through this for the same reasons. she's currently undergoing counselling and EMDR treatment.
She says the EMDR is showing immediate improvements and feels this is really helping, much more so than the counselling sessions.
It will be a long road to recovery, you just need to hang in there and support her as much as you can and understand the signs to watch out for that are triggers so you can help.
As others say, get professional help where possible, or find suitable support groups, MIND are good, but you have a lot of facebook/local support groups who are around a lot more these days and very well versed on this type of thing, yes there are ones that might not help and be more social / coffee morning, but you can at least give them a try and make your mind up.
I'd also ask the midwife as well, they've usually seen everything and know of the best routes to assistance in that local area, and can also provide support during their trips and appointments.
Firstly sorry to hear your wife is not ok, make sure you look after yourself as well. Look up your local specialist perinatal mental health team, most areas have them now as there has been funding towards them.
Thanks all for your helpful and kind words.
I am quite a patient person so just been rolling with the moods and comments directed at me.
I've not done much myself in the last year, riding a handful of times, out on the river fishing or SUP once or twice. I always feel guilty for asking to head out.
She says the EMDR is showing immediate improvements
I have had EMDR for ptsd things of my own. It’s very good, scarily so, but over the subsequent years it’s been the counselling that’s kept things on the straight and narrow that the EMDR facilitated. Obviously that’s just my thing and hopefully it’ll be a lot quicker for your wife.
Best of luck to you both.
First of all, thoughts to the both of you. My wife had multiple issues following birth, but she's mostly out of them now.
Unfortunately the NHS mental health services are stretched beyond belief, their IAPT service often had massive wait times.
Is she employed? Look for details on her work EAP (Employee Access Program) -this was the key to my wife's recovery. Through that she accessed a local counsellor who she clicked with, and she still sees from time to time. It was confidential and free.
All the best, feel free to PM me if I can help at all.
Also, as said above, look after yourself as well. I didn't enough, and it was nearly the breaking of our relationship. Don't be scared to ask for help.
Yes
Although as she's still waiting for an appointment we've been assuming post-natal depression rather than PTSD, but who knows
Most days are good and others she gets down and just needs support and love - main issue for her is the anxiety - she can understand whats going on, talk rationally about it, but just can't seem to shake the feelings as much as she tries
Hi, sorry to hear about your wife’s experience. My wife is one of the Team Leaders of the Nottinghamshire Perinatal Community Mental Health team and they have a specialist service within that team who deal with specifically birth trauma, providing specialist psychological work for just that. I don’t know which are you both live in but it’s worth seeing if your local area also has this specialist service. I think it is part of the NHS long term investment plan under Maternal Mental Health so if the GP isn’t aware, there should be some information online. Additionally, you could also look for contact details for the Perinatal Community Mental Health team in your area and ask them directly what birth trauma support they have available as each area might be delivering this work slightly differently. The one in nottingham has been going since January and is seeing women quite quickly (within two weeks for the initial appointment) so hopefully it is the same where you guys are too. Wish you both the best though and I hope she is able to get the right support soon.