[Closed] Psycho neighbour really wants a fight

Yes. I mean a full on scuffle. Since an argument last weekend, he's decided he's top gun and is now trying to intimidate me.

Last weekend, I just happened to be looking out of a bedroom window and saw him reverse into my courtesy car I had at the time. It was hard enough that I heard the impact through double glazing. He got out, had a look and then went to go back into his house. I went into the front garden and intercepted him with an "Oi - you've just hit that car." He denied it and then launched into a very aggressive tirade calling me an igonorant f-ing prick. He came right up to the separating fence saying "what do you f-ing mean Oi?" More of the same came out before I decided to turn my back and go inside. This is the same neighbour that smokes weed in his gaden and calls his teenage daughter an f-ing nobhead. We heard that through the party wall along with other psycho behaviour and ranting towards his wife and two daughters.

Since then, he comes out whenever I do. I've not made eye contact with him. Yesterday, I was packing stuff into the car and he was strutting about nearby (according to Mrs. S) eying me up and down and laughing. Then he started chanting "red army, red army." [b]He's a MUFC fan.[/b]

Me and Mrs. S are now feeling stressed because this guy is a grade A nutter and he obviously wants a physical showdown with me. As a 47 year old man, I don't. He's about 35. Is there anything we can do to stop this escalating? We've even considered moving but have lived there over 20 years and don't want to leave because of the actions of one idiot.

Any advice much appreciated.

Fanks.

I can only say call the Police and if they don't take seriously, call them again and see if you can get others neighbours to support you.

He's a MUFC fan

And I thought people form Surrey were above this sort of behaviour.

Anybody can call social services.

CCTV, and evidence.

Work collegaue was only last week telling a tale of a psycho neighbour he'd survived a few years ago. Tyres slashed, knife threats, false reports to social services about child abuse and other generally wrong in the head behaviour.

Police weren't interested until he rolled up at the station with a wad of evidence and CCTV footage. He still ended up moving house but the nutter was dealt with.

Keep a log of his behaviour.
Try and get some of it recorded.
Involve the Police.

Hmmm difficult one and I sympathise with you. Was the car damaged by the way and if so have you reported it?

The last thing you want or need is grief with a neighbour, as your home is your sanctuary. However I think you need to face up to it and deal with it now. You should have a word with the Police about your neighbours intimidating behaviour and start the process whereby you can get it sorted legally. Recording on your phone can be done as proof without him being aware.

you n need cctv mate........ 😉

Which pub does he drink in? Simply get a few friends to nip in there and sit near to him, then start a conversation about 'that former SAS bloke' who lives down the road. The mild-mannered looking one, who's therapy for PTSD has been going really well since 'that incident' with a former neighbour that resulted in the armed siege

Then whenever you see him just grin at him in a manic fashion, and maybe start hiding in the bushes in his garden dressed in full camo gear, with a big knife

you n need cctv mate

Wot you scared for, Ton? You're a big fella that could probably end most folk with a fish pie...

😉

Move house.

You'll never beat cocktards like him....

Wot you scared for, Ton? You're a big fella that could probably end most folk with a fish pie...

This isn't the time or plaice for that sort of carp.

Move house. HTH.

That's pretty serious.
No one could be expected to live with that.
Police, without a shadow of a doubt.

We called social services about a neighbour (cocaine dealer couple) who's kids were being neglected.
Fights and parties all weekend, endless screaming matches.
They were always pleasant to us, no threats or anything intimidating, but the kids just needed help.

Hard not to be influenced by his behaviour towards you, but if the kids are suffering, you know what to do.

Good luck matey.

cracking Op for a monday, lets see how this develops.
get CCTv as you'll need it when you apply to: http://www.channel5.com/show/the-nightmare-neighbour-next-door

My advice would be to make sure your wife is watching if you have any physical or verbal altercation with him. If he lays a single finger on you call the police.

Then he started chanting "red army, red army." He's a MUFC fan.

Made me chuckle.

Most MUFC supporters are plagued by terrible self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy, so this kind of behaviour is to be expected.

Buy a City shirt is my advice. Will re-assert your alpha status. 🙂

Thanks so far.

Do I need to take at least a smack in the face before the police would get involved?

Sounds a bit wrong that. For all I know, he could kill me with a single punch.

No, in theory.

Threatening behaviour/words and harrassment should get the Old Bill involved. Recording interactions is the only way to show this, though.

It's worth logging more minor stuff in case it escalates because it makes things a little more easy for police to interpret.

Tricky one this. I had a friend who lived at the beginning of my road years ago. He left after his mostly drunken neighbour started the same sort of stuff. Months later my friend and I were outside my house playing with my car when the old neighbour came out and started hollering etc down the road at my friend. Whatever way you deal with it it has to be dealt with now properly.

Do I need to take at least a smack in the face before the police would get involved?

Not from what work colleague said, he left it until there was a physical attack but it was the evidence that was key for the police to take action.

Go down the cop shop and tell them what you've told us, asking for advice rather than demanding they do X or Y.

Make sure you include the bits about him threatening his wife and kids.

How is getting the police involved going to help?
Really - unless they take him away and bang him up there and then, it's just going to provoke him.
This is a long shot, but how about going around with a peace offering (pack of beers) and try talking to him?

Or move.

These people breed unfortunately.

i would suggest watching a funny movie then going outside. if the bloke wants a confrontation just ask what the issue is in a very polite manner. Then informhim that based on evidence you are correct and he is sadly misguided. If he fails to see sense at this point the options are

a) smile nicely walk way and plan to move house.

b) smile nicely walk away and grab a spade and **** him with it.

so far B has worked well for me and im a right short arse. Youll be fine.

Last option and also another favorite of mine just smile at the man then get him fired from his job, his family to despise him and slip into a finacal spiral of debt followed up by soicitors letters and the odd smile cross the garden fence. Then **** him with the shovel.

Yep record and log and let police know.

The girlfriend's crazy neighbours called the sspca when she went on holiday last week despite it being obvious her pal was checking on the cats twice a day.

Other neighbours kicked the door over a parked van. We called police and moved. Life is too short to be dealing with these type of people.

I had/have a neighbour dispute and the police placed a harassment order on him as a result of his actions. Like you each incident was not pleasant but could be brushed off in some way but it is the combination of events that needed some action.

Harassment orders are not that powerful but they are the first step in confronting the behaviour and it then enables a fuller response from the police if events occur again.

Record all incidents in a factual way, do not underestimate how this will impact on yourself and your wife. Maintain the moral high ground and use the authorities.

is it this chap?
[url= http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/brexiter-returns-to-petty-neighbour-feud-20161003114714 ]
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/brexiter-returns-to-petty-neighbour-feud-20161003114714 [/url]

We had a similar situation 7 years ago, which prompted us to move.

House next to us was owned by a local haulage company, who put lorry drivers in there.
For the first couple of years 4 Polish guys shared - they were brilliant.
They worked shifts so house normally quiet - except for a bit of laughter during their usual Saturday night card games.
They moved out and this angry knuckle-dragger moved in with his white-trash girlfriend.
after about 18 months of loud fights, loud shagging and general antisocial behaviour it all kicked off one Saturday night when he threw her out and she broke back in via the front window with a shovel.
I called the Police, who turned up and took her away.
House went on the market the following week. Life is too short.

cctv/polis or baseball bats, balaclavas, a white van, with obscured reggy plates and a few mates, seem the only sensible choices here.

Personally, I vote for escalation, it'll make for good reading on here if nothing else! 😆

Don't you know who he is, why of course its Ronnie ****ing Pickering, moved next door to you.

Wow. Response threads as if this is really humourous situation. A new low for STW.

DezB, and what is your expert advice on this situation? 🙄

Take the piss?

It's at least as productive as your contribution to the thread thus far.

(And mine, come to that.)

... and I can fix my half of that, but only in so far as repeating what others have said. Start logging everything, times / dates / actions / verbal / duration. However you choose to escalate it, this is almost certainly the information they'll want before anyone can take any action.

Either that or follow him home from the pub one night with a crowbar and put the fear of god into him. (-:

I'm renowned for my productive contributions too 😆

Derek_S - I say chin him.

If I remember correctly you and your neighbour have been winding each other up and antagonising each other for some time over various issues?

If I had a neighbour that I didn't get on with I'd be doing my level best to kill them with kindness

I have to agree with the earlier suggestion of taking some beers over and laying your cards on the table - you are a middle-aged bloke who has no interest in fighting and just ask 'can we put this behind us'?

He'll be happy because he has beer and he has 'won'.

Would those be the picolax homebrew beers that he's made specially? I suspect he'd be happy with those, right up until the point he shat his ring.

I tried the 'build bridges' approach with a neighbour.

It just ended up with him assuming I was weak rather than someone who was able to 'rise above' petty disputes.

Don't assume your neighbour has enough emotional intelligence to work out what's expected of them once an olive branch has been held out.

It just ended up with him assuming I was weak

possibly, johndoh, but it can just make someone bolder in terms of the intimidation they're carrying out because they think it'll be consequence free.

I can lend you an axe or two if needed?

Seriously, think long and hard about how it will pan out if you go down the physical route. I was lucky & got away with a warning from sympathetic cops, had I actually hit someone with that axe I'd have been in extremely serious trouble. These types - whilst wanting a physical confrontation - will have zero qualms about calling the police on you if it doesn't go how they think it should.

Another vote against the "take beers over" strategy. That won't help.

Most knobbers like the OP's neighbour are like they are because they come from a lineage of lower class problem families where violence and intimidation are the bedrock of social relations.

Sadly there's very little you can do to win this situation OP because people like this cannot be reasoned with because reason / logic are alien to their culture and way of life.

You can lower yourself to their level, "get the boys in" so to speak, but then these things will escalate to the point where someone will get hurt.

Best thing to do is move. As the old Chinese proverb goes, "sparrows do not land where tigers roam."

If moving is not possible, then CCTV / log all incidents and get the police involved. Just remember, these type people have no respect for authority, so could potentially inflame the situation.

Its a horrible, no-win situation for you. I've been here before.

Put a big Man United flag in your window. He'll be your best mate then, you'll be "one of us" and not have to resort to giving in to bullies.

So, moral of the story is don't shout "Oi" when someone reverses into you car.

What have you to lose by trying to talk to him? It's very unlikely to make matters worse and quite possible that it will at least quieten things down. You'll also have evidence of trying to improve the situation rather than simply being a victim.
I'd still just move though.

Bombers?
Wee in shoes?
Passive submissive notes?

Register his address with loads of gay porn suppliers.

fart through his letterbox. that'll learn 'im. try not to s**** when doing it, however funny your fart sounds.

Transactional analysis: You initiated a conversation as a parent to a child ("Oi!"). And he responded as a child to a parent ("It wasn't me so **** off"). You can break the cycle by communicating as an adult; you are more likely to receive an adult response in turn.

If I'd accidentally hit a neighbour's car and they came out shouting "oi", I wouldn't stand there having a conversation with them. I'd apologise and say I'd be happy to speak to them when they're calm.

It sounds as though you're dealing with someone who's emotionally a child. You got his back up with your aggressive tone. This has allowed him to have a grudge against you whilst taking no responsibility for his own part in the dispute. However hard it is, stay mature and polite.

So what did you do when this guy damaged your car then swore at you in the street? Because that's a police matter. I've known people to be arrested for criminal damage because they bumped their neighbour's bumper when parking.

If you don't intend to do anything about him damaging your car and then swearing at you in front of the whole street, then I don't see why you'd want to do something about him coming out of his house and looking at you.

My (honest and well-meant) advice would be to greet him politely every time you see him. "Morning!" and otherwise try to ignore him. Football chants? That's not worth your effort to respond to, surely.

He wants to get to you so you need to show him that he hasn't.

Buy this season's man City kit and wear every time you leave the house. 😉

Next time he's in the street as you return from a ride, do this in front of him...

In my limited experience you are screwed, your choices are move house, wait for it to escalate and get a humiliating beating which you may or may not record, but he won't give a shit about unless he gets arrested and then it will get *really bad for you* or escalate it on your terms and risk a criminal record.

Its a life lesson that for some people violence isn't the last option, its one of the first and everyone isn't just like you and your mates/colleagues and some people really do enjoy a couple of pints and a fight to unwind.

Another life lesson is a shovel can fix many a conflict... just don't hit them with the edge unless you really have too 🙂

You need to either get the authorities involved or go full on 'Michael Keaton' on him.
[img] [/img]

Go Micheal Keaton and post daily updates of his slow demise in to paranoia and outright fear.

Borrow an E-bike and do donuts on his lawn.
He's quite clearly a hater.

Failing that, I've got a spare old CCTV system with cameras, you're welcome to borrow it for as long as necessary.
If you're Manc based you could pick it up from Delamere Cafe.

My experience of this kind of guy is if they are going to hit you they would of done it by now.

I'd just let the police know what's going on, and for his daughters sake ring social services.

If you're Manc based you could pick it up from Delamere Cafe

Clearly not, he lives next to a MUFC fan 😀

don't escalate to violence, you win calls the cops , you lose he becomes a bigger arse . I would suggest seeking advise from your local police they should have some neighbourhood policing team of some sort. is a tenant ? . moving is the sure way to end the problem .

Report to the police now. Then if he does get physical and you get a lucky shot in you'll be covered.

Bombard him with annoying stuff for 1 week constantly.. Hire him a skip, book him taxis for 5am, order him some pizza. Annoy him for a whole week. Dont tell anyone but just remain smug and smile whenever you see him and get ever more creative in ways to annoy the crap out of him. Repeat this again a month later with new and better ways.

if you were going to get a smack it would have happened by now. Sounds like a loud mouth more than anything else.

Just be pleasant to him. If he does or says anything else that's beyond being a nob then gently explain to him that after he threatened you decided to let it go, but as it's carrying on you'll probably have to get the cops involved which would be a shame as you've no intentions of moving anywhere and it would be better to be civil than the alternative. The best way to do this is to be entirely reasonable with him.

Make sure you invite a few mates round in the next week or two for a few noisy beers when he's at home.

Also make sure he sees you talking to people who live in your road.

If you report him to police don't you need to declare this when selling your house?

I don't have any advice Derek - but it sounds as if you are in the right.

CCTV sounds like good advice. Where are you? I know of a bloke in Leeds who sells security stuff. Big bloke who rides bikes too!
Seriously, CCTV & log everything. The bloke sounds like a right tool.

From here on in you're going to feel ill at ease in your own home and unless you're stupid enough to escalate this to an argument that may well end in violence there's nothing to be done. I do feel that if he was going to assault you he would have done so but still do you want to continue to live under these circumstances? Unfortunately he treats everyone around him poorly so he's unlikely to change. Until he is actually violent the police wont care as being an arsehole isn't a crime.

Lifes too short and If I lived next to bloke like that I'd move.

It's been my experience that folk who are going to hit you, do it first and don't talk about it. Bullies tend to mouth off and preen themselves and sadly only confrontation settles the problem, or you move away. Sadly the authorities neither act quick enough or in a manner that will 100% satisfy the victim hell they are just as likely to turn on you if you act to protect yourself.

I think I'd at least give the beer and apology a shot first 'Dude I thought you'd rammed my car, sorry if I wound you up' and take it from there, if that doesn't do it then the options are, Buy a big aggressive dog, take a baseball bat to your next meeting whilst wearing a full face crash helmet, or move away.

All that cctv shit will wind them up more, get the social services to remove their children how do you think he'll view you then? You have to put yourself in your opponents shoes before deciding to fully engage in a battle, even psychos have feelings and as some wag back there said, he's a ManU fan so not in the greatest place right now.

Sorry I can't help you further it's difficult this, as a youngster I was always bullied and had to fight my corner so do to tend to weigh in hard if pushed but I also recognise my limitations and close proximity right next door, I'd weigh my options very carefully before taking the nuclear option.

Hire him a skip, book him taxis for 5am, order him some pizza

Pop down to your local station and ask for advice.

Why should you live uncomfortably and in fear in your own home/area?

Hope you get this resolved soon. I wouldn't move.

mitsumonkey

Oh and if he does up the intimidatation carry some tools (hammer) in a tote to and from the car just in case you 'ahem' break down/need to do maintenance on the house.

Yeah, carry a hammer. That way if it does turn physical you can go straight to jail, or he can just take it off you and beat you to death. 🙄

Apply for a shotgun licence
The police used to have to turn up and see you had a secure gun cabinet ,lockable and out of sight .
He wont know why the police are round yours, then when you get your shotgun you can stick it up his exhaust pipe and ask him if he still thinks its funny to be the playground bully.
Or maybe best to just pretend and buy a broomstick and a padded gun bag, ear plugs , a tweed jacket with a shoulder pad , a spaniel and get some target clays delivered to his house, by mistake of course.

Lend him one of your bikes and when he goes out on it run him over.You probably won't even get points

I really feel for you.

Remember that you are educated and well brought up. Don't lower yourself to his level.

Seriously think about moving.

He won't approach him if he's carrying tools will he jimjam, just like he won't stand there trying to intimidate him in the front garden if the op is swinging a big axe chopping logs in his. Bullies rely on a weak target.

Definitely get tooled up.

mitsumonkey

He won't approach him if he's carrying tools will he jimjam,

I wasn't aware that this was a thing.

just like he won't stand there trying to intimidate him in the front garden if the op is swinging a big axe chopping logs in his.

Or he might see right through it and recognise it some kind of pathetic show of fake toughness, with a weapon no less.

Bullies rely on a weak target.

People come in all shapes and forms. Not all "bullies" fit the tv and film mold of folding when you stand up to them. Some might even react negatively to such a challenge.

Are you sure you don't live next to half the people on here!!!??

Oi jimjam! (See what I did there lol) what would you do then if you found yourself in the same position?

Oi jimjam! (See what I did there lol) what would you do then if you found yourself in the same position?

I'd get an aggressive dog. Everyone looks hard with an aggressive dog by their side.

I'd get an aggressive dog. Everyone looks hard with an aggressive dog by their side.