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My partners mother is 79 and lives alone, but a short drive from her offspring.
We have been increasingly concerned about her cognitive powers and she is increasingly random in conversation. She seems to mask these shortcomings quite well, with little phrases like 'wellnyou know what they're like' and ' i will tell you about it some other time'. Her memory is really poor, but she can recall stuff from 50yrs ago.
There hasnt been any medical diagnosis but i suspect that this may be the onset of dementia?
It seems like a power of attorney would allow her family to decide what is good for her before she deteriorates any further and the State steps in to make those decisions.
Does anyone have any experience of the process? My partner has seen a service on 'Which?' website that seems to offer a decent checking service, but we actually know very little about this.
Any thoughts and advice gratefully received.
Ian
you need it immediately. by the time you actually need it, its too late.
When you really need it, it's too late - and there's health & wealth, you 'll need both.
Do it now, here online: Print Make, register or end a lasting power of attorney: Overview - GOV.UK (www.gov.uk) - www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney/
Fill in all the details, print them off and get them signed. Make sure you date the signatures in the correct order. Submit to the Office of the Public Guardian with the fee. They'll take around 12 weeks to be registered.
Did this for both my parents last year. It was pretty straight forward using the forms from the gov.uk website. Just needed parents to sign and independent witnesses. Cost £82 per application and took about 8 weeks.
Unfortunately my Dad passed away a couple of months ago but it definitely helped having it in place.
My sister and I have it for our Mum (mid 70's increasingly frail).
As mentioned upthread - gov.uk is the go-to place:
https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney
It's straightforward but absolutely take time to check and double check everything on there, especially the date order of signatures.
Took about 4 months for ours to come through. You get a letter saying it's been received and you are a nominated person (which you'll know because you signed the thing!) and it gives you up to 3 weeks to change your mind. You don't need to contact them, it's just a case of waiting for the 3 weeks, it's a statutory "cooling off period" if you like.
And eventually you'll get some paperwork confirming that you have the legal right to make health and wealth decisions for the named person if/when they reach a stage that they are unable to make such decisions for themselves.
It does NOT give you control over their finances - there is still a possibility that they could be scammed if (eg) someone phones up telling them to move all their savings to a new account, you WILL NOT have scrutiny over things like that so keep that in mind. You will however have authority to liaise with the bank on their behalf to sort it out if they're too confused / distressed to do so.
Her memory is really poor, but she can recall stuff from 50yrs ago.There hasnt been any medical diagnosis but i suspect that this may be the onset of dementia?
Alzheimer's. My grandmother went the same way and that's exactly her symptoms. It got increasingly distressing to see her lose all track of who we were, then my mother and finally my grandfather, the man she'd been married to for 60 years. She "knew" him because he was always there but had no idea who he was. 🙁
Current delay with registration by the Office if the Public Guardian is about 20 weeks and any LPA does not take effect until registration is complete.
You need to get PoA whilst the person you want it for is still of sound mind and can agree to give it to you clearly and lucidly.
So, today - and with her clear consent.
Just clicked to say (beaten to it by several!), by the time you need it it's too late. Don't be put off by "oh I don't need it yet". Same as a will in that respect. You don't wait til you die before writing one of those, not if you have any sense.
My wife and I have just done ours, even in our 50s, there doesn't seem to be any benefit to not doing them. Again, like a will (though we had them dating from our marriage 25y ago). PoA is very easy using the on-line forms, don't waste time and money on solicitors.
It's not always Alzheimer's, but it usually is. Sorry to hear that, hope it's not too traumatic a pathway. My father died with it a few years ago and FiL is currently going the same way.
To correct one misapprehension - having the PoA registered will *not* allow you to make decisions regarding your MiL's welfare until and unless she is actually judged incapable by professionals. Drawing up and registering the (welfare) PoA now just means it's in place as and when that situation arises. The financial PoA may however be invoked immediately so long as you make decisions with her consent and agreement. I've been handling some of my mother's finances for some time, she is fully capable but my father used to do most of it and it's just a bit too much effort at her age.
If you your MiL is already at the point at which her capacity for making decisions is seriously impaired, it might be too late for her to agree to the PoA. So time is of the essence.
Taken about 8 months to get them sorted for my mum, lost paperwork and a mistake that I corrected but apparently didn't initial. Don't delay!
Yep, get it done now.
My parents, both in their 70's and still very sharp, but were aware it was something useful to do. It was an easy enough process.
Yes do it now, also get your partners name on mother's energy contracts, banks accounts etc. She can then renegotiate renewals etc, yr partner effectively acts in her mother's name. I did it for ages, just keep other family members in the loop.
Did the finance one for my parents last year, after seeing the nightmare my wife had sorting out her parents affairs and having to go through the Court of Protection (I think?)
Straightforward, both still have capacity, took maybe 16 weeks to come back.
Need to get the medical one done while they have capacity this summer, they are getting physically frailer.
As well as the signature of your MiL (the donor), you also need a "Certificate Provider" who will certify that she knows what's she's signing. Quote below from the form:
The 'certificate provider' signs to confirm they've discussed the lasting power of attorney (LPA) with the donor, that the donor understands what they're doing and that nobody is forcing them to do it. The 'certificate provider' should be either:
- someone who has known the donor personally for at least 2 years, such as a friend, neighbour, colleague or former colleague
- someone with relevant professional skills, such as the donor's GP, a healthcare professional or a solicitor.
- A certificate provider can't be one of the attorneys.
That can be a sticking point. A professional may decline to certify if they are in any doubt (in their mind) of her mental capacity. My Mum was over 90 and most of her friends and former colleagues had died, but we found one in the sheltered accommodation where she lived who was prepared to sign.
Is there anything you can do about Power of Attorney, when the elderly parent refuses to even acknowledge that it needs to be done?
Nope. It needs their full consent. Nobody else can do it for them.
My dad refused to do it, and now almost certainly has dementia.
Thankfully we're getting by but we fully expect things to get tricky further down the line.
By the time you think you need it, it could well be too late. Not sure of the law where you are, we had to get Guardianship for my dad (Scotland). It was a lengthy process, involving lawyers and government offices.
You cannot get a Power of Attorney for someone. They have to grant you the power, if they refuse or if they have already lost capacity you can apply to the Court of Protection for a Deputyship Order. This is a long winded and expensive (about 10x the cost of an LPA) process. So use your powers of persuasion and encourage the person to make the arrangements before it is too late.
The Office of the Public Guardian are currently taking about twenty one weeks to register an application, so if your relative were to apply today and there are no mistakes then you will be able to make decisions by Xmas.
We did it for MIL when FIL died. She flatly refused to deal with any Finances (hers) as FIL did it. My wife handled her money once we got it sorted. I've told my parents to get theirs done and sister has said she'll be the main 'person' but they have yet to do it.